Final Score (56 page)

‘I kind of needed that, too,’ she said, reaching out to touch his cheek, kissing him again, letting the taste of him linger on her lips for as long as she possibly could. ‘But I really should be getting back to work. And you’ve got a team to run.’

‘They can look after themselves,’ he said quietly, his fingers intertwining with hers, his breath warm on her cheek as he stayed close.

She could feel her heart still hammering hard, her stomach turning for reasons that weren’t all good. Why had Ryan said that? Why had he, once again, tried to make her think twice about what she was doing? But hadn’t he been right the first time? When he’d accused Jim just a few months ago, he’d been right. So there was every chance he was going to be right again. And that’s what scared Amber more than anything.

‘Kiss me again,’ she breathed, looking up into his eyes, a pain cutting right across her chest that made her flinch slightly. ‘I want you to kiss me forever,’ she whispered. She just had no idea how long their ‘forever’ was going to be any more.

‘I think I can do that.’ He smiled, cupping her cheek in the palm of his hand, his thumb gently stroking her skin as his mouth rested on hers and she just fell against him. He was kissing her deep and slow, his fingers clinging onto hers, their bodies touching, the heat surrounding them almost unbearable. And Amber took in every wonderful second of his lips on hers, his fingers holding onto her hand so tightly – she took it all in. She let her head spin and her stomach flip; she let the confusion fade away for a few, glorious seconds as she enjoyed nothing but her husband kissing her. Her husband. A man she’d really thought she couldn’t live without.

‘Did you have any input in making sure Ryan signed for an American club?’

The question had come out before she’d even had time to think about asking it. The words had just slipped out of her mouth, and she couldn’t take them back now, even though a part of her wished she could.

Jim took a step back, but his hand was still holding hers, his head cocked slightly to one side, those beautiful green eyes of his narrowed as he stared at her. ‘Where the hell has this come from?’

‘Ryan,’ she whispered, letting her fingers slip away from his.

‘Ryan?’ he laughed, pushing a hand through his hair. ‘He said it was
me
who made sure he signed for an American club?’

She nodded, trying to read his face. Trying to see if he was lying to her. ‘He said it was all your idea. Or that you had something to do with it, at least. What’s he talking about, Jim?’

‘Baby, I don’t know…’

‘What is he talking about?’

‘Amber, you know what he’s trying to do. He won’t be happy until he’s driven us apart…’

‘Did you?’

He looked at her, and she felt her heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. ‘Did I what?’

‘Have anything to do with it?’

‘Amber, I…’

She shook her head, tears starting to prick the back of her eyes as she looked at him. She couldn’t say anything. No words would come out. But what
could
she say? She just wanted to get out of there. She
had
to get out of there. Even though he was calling her back, shouting her name, she still walked away. She had to get back to work; she didn’t have time for this now.

By the time she got back to the main reception area she’d composed herself. Just about. She’d paid a visit to the ladies’ room, redone her make-up, made sure she looked as calm as she needed to feel, because she had a lot to get through before she could concentrate on what she’d found out. But there was one thing she needed to do first, and her eyes searched him out before she walked over to him.

‘I need to speak with you,’ she said to Max, who was talking to a couple of the Red Star board members.

‘Now?’ he asked, frowning slightly as he looked at her.

She pulled him aside. ‘When this game is over you are going to answer some questions for me, and I’m warning you, Max, you’d better tell me the truth.’ She turned on her heels and started to walk away, leaving Max more than a little confused.

‘Huh? Amber? Hang on, sweetheart…’

She swung back around to face him, suddenly feeling a strength she didn’t know she had well up inside her. ‘You’re going to tell me the fucking truth, Max, because this isn’t a game any more. You got that?’

‘Amber?’

She was stopping for nobody as she strode through the main atrium, making her way up to her dad’s executive box. She wanted to see her baby. Five minutes with Rico would get her head sorted; he could always ground her. Until she could finally work out just what the hell was going on here.

But she hadn’t expected to see Ryan there. Why not, though? She’d told him he could come and see Rico. She just hadn’t expected him to do it before the match, and seeing him kind of startled her.

‘Everything okay, sweetheart?’ Freddie asked, looking up as Amber walked into the room.

‘Can I have a word with Ryan, Dad? Please?’ It wasn’t what she’d planned to do, but he was there. And she needed to say something.

Freddie looked from Amber to Ryan, but all Ryan could do was shrug. He looked as surprised as Freddie did, although Amber suspected he knew exactly what she was going to say.

‘Yeah. Of course you can. Do you want me to make sure this place stays quiet for a little while?’

She just nodded, her eyes fixed firmly on Ryan. ‘Can you take Rico with you, please?’

Freddie frowned. ‘Okay. Are you sure you’re alright?’

‘I’m fine. I just need a private word with Ryan.’

Freddie took Rico from Ryan, his gaze fixed on Amber for a few seconds more, but she was still looking at Ryan. ‘I’ll be over in the main bar if you need me.’

Amber said nothing, she just waited for her dad to close the door behind him before she spoke. ‘What is it exactly that you think he’s done, Ryan?’

‘I don’t know, Amber. All I know is Max said something about it not being
his
idea, and he started to talk about someone else, but then stopped. But he had a look on his face that told me he was hiding something. I swear to God, Amber, I’m not just trying…’

She held up her hand. She didn’t really want to hear any more. ‘You are, Ryan. You’ll try anything you can to make me change my mind you said as much yourself. You said you won’t give up without a fight, that it’s every man for himself, and you know – you
know
that if I find out Jim has anything to do with this…’ She had to stop talking because the tears were threatening to fall and she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to cry or be weak at a time when she needed to be strong.

‘I wouldn’t do anything to deliberately hurt you, Amber.’

‘Are you… are you only assuming he’s involved with this because of what happened with the betting ring story?’

‘Of course I am, Jesus! If he can do that, don’t you think he’s capable of this, too?’

‘I don’t know what he’s capable of any more, Ryan.’ Her voice was quiet, almost defeated.

She leaned back against the table in the corner of the room, looking up as he walked over to her, still dressed in his match-day suit, his white shirtsleeves rolled up, showing his tattooed forearms, that familiar dark, heavy stubble covering his jawline.

‘Have you spoken to him?’ Ryan asked, digging his hands into his pockets.

She nodded, looking back down for a second before her eyes met his. ‘Just now. But this is how fucking twisted everything’s got. I had to fuck him first. I
wanted
to fuck him first. I wanted to hold him and kiss him and feel him inside me before I… before I knew…’

Ryan bowed his head, and she could see him breathe in deeply, his body exerting itself with the weight of that breath.

‘How wrong is that?’ Amber whispered, looking outside at the still almost-empty stadium. Only a few people were already in their seats, the rest of the crowd making the most of the pre-match time to grab a drink and something to eat. But the atmosphere was still palpable; that wonderful feeling of anticipation that Amber loved. Even at a match that carried no importance for either team, the atmosphere was still there. And wasn’t that what this game was built on? Wasn’t that what had made Ryan want to be a part of all this? Would it feel the same over in the States? ‘It’s going to be so different over there, Ryan. And he… he’s taken you away from all of this, hasn’t he?’

Ryan looked at her, his eyes locking onto hers. ‘It’s probably for the best, when all’s said and done.’

She shook her head, trying desperately to keep those tears at bay. She needed to stay calm – focused. She still had a job to do. ‘Can’t you change your mind?’

‘I’ve signed a contract, Amber.’

‘For how long?’

‘A year. To begin with. But there are options…’

She looked away again. She didn’t know what to do. She truly had no idea what to do next. ‘I think he really did have something to do with it.’ Her voice was still quiet. Because it wasn’t Ryan she was angry with. He was an innocent victim caught up in the middle of some twisted power game that she couldn’t understand.

‘Amber, look, I have no proof, but…’

She turned back to face him. ‘Once this match is over I’m going to talk to Max. And he’s going to tell me the truth, Ryan. He’s going to tell me just how the hell we got to this point because I am lost here. I’m lost.’

Ryan pulled her up and into his arms, and he held her close – that was all. He just held her, neither of them saying anything for a few seconds. But they were the most heartbreaking, confusing few seconds of her life.

‘I’ve got to go,’ she whispered, pulling away from him, but he didn’t let her go straight away. He kept a loose grip of her waist, his mouth gently lowering down onto hers, and she didn’t fight it. She didn’t want to. It didn’t help matters, but she didn’t want to fight it. She didn’t want to fight anything any more. She was tired of it all. ‘I’ve really got to go.’ She pulled free of him, turning to walk away.

‘Amber?’

She turned around, her eyes meeting his.

‘Does this change anything?’

She held his gaze for a few seconds more. ‘I don’t know, Ryan. I really don’t know.’

Closing the door behind her, she took another deep breath before heading quickly downstairs. She should be mic’d up by now, preparing for her pitch-side interviews. She’d let herself get far too distracted.

‘Amber!’

She stopped walking, closing her eyes briefly, taking in another deep breath. ‘I’m late, Jim.’

‘I need to talk to you.’

She swung around. ‘I’m late.’

‘You believe him?’

‘I don’t know what to believe.’

‘We need to talk.’

‘I’m supposed to be working. So this really is going to have to wait.’ She turned away again, resuming her brisk pace along the corridor.

‘I’m sorry, okay?’

Once more his voice caused her to stop in her tracks, and she slowly turned back around. ‘You’re sorry?’

‘I love you, Amber. What I did, I did because I love you so much…’

‘I can’t do this now, Jim. I really can’t. So, just leave it. Please. Because doing this now isn’t fair. It really isn’t fair.’

She didn’t look back as she finally pushed through the double doors that took her back out into the main atrium, which was quieter now as more and more people drifted off to the bars or their hospitality suites.

‘Where the hell do you keep disappearing to?’ Ronnie said. ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you. They’re going spare upstairs. You should have been mic’d up half an hour ago… What’s wrong? And if you say “nothing” I swear I’ll do something that will really draw attention to us.’

‘I don’t want to do this here, Ronnie.’

‘So something
is
wrong, then?’

‘Yes, something’s wrong.’

‘Is it serious?’

She looked at her best friend. And at that moment in time she wished with every fibre of her being that they could go back to the time when they’d been together. He’d been a player in Manchester and she’d been an up-and-coming local sports reporter, and she knew, right at that very second, that if she could go back to that time she would hang onto him so tightly and never let him go and it would change all this. She’d change it all. Because this was just too exhausting now.

‘I don’t know, Ronnie. Right now, I really don’t know.’

Chapter Thirty-Four

Jim stood at the edge of the technical area, checking his watch as the referee dragged out the last few seconds of time added on for as long as he could. But even when that final whistle was blown, he had to stand and watch as Ryan Fisher was given a standing ovation from the home crowd. He watched as a player who was, undoubtedly, going to be missed by the English league, ran around to every corner of the ground, saluting the supporters, making sure they knew how grateful he was for the support they’d all shown him during a turbulent couple of years at Newcastle Red Star. He watched as Ryan ran back to the touchline, over to Amber, who was waiting with microphone in hand to grab an all-important few words with him before he left this club for good. And it tore Jim apart to see her smile at him. Because he didn’t know how much she was putting on for the camera and how much of it was real. He didn’t know if what he’d done had changed her mind, and sent her running back to Ryan when this was supposed to have made sure that didn’t happen.

He watched as Ryan’s eyes stayed fixed upon her, and, even from where he was standing, Jim could almost see the chemistry between them. And though he wanted to turn away, he couldn’t. Because if he was losing her then he wanted to make sure he took in every last detail of a woman he would never stop loving. She was his world, and she’d continue to be just that, no matter where she was or who she was with. She was his world. A world that was quickly starting to crash down around him.

*

Autopilot got her through the afternoon. She’d been running on empty, stumbling through everything with a blurred mind and a focus she had to pull out of nowhere and she had no idea how she’d done it. But she’d managed to keep that front up, the professional image she’d needed to portray so that this mess they were all in didn’t become public knowledge. And interviewing Ryan had been the hardest thing of all to do, to stand there and look at him; to treat him like any other player when he was so much more than that. Even though everyone knew their history, knew their relationship was so far past professional, she’d still had to make it look like any other interview. The hardest thing she’d ever had to do. Under the circumstances.