Final Score (53 page)

‘I don’t know. You tell me.’

‘I thought we’d agreed to drop this subject.’

‘Funny how everything seems to come back to him, though, isn’t it?’

She continued to stare at her best friend, wondering if shutting him out of everything as much as she had done had been such a good idea. Could he, maybe, have helped her make some kind of sense of all this? If she’d just let him in.

‘What happened to you just wanting me to be happy, Ronnie?’

‘I still want that more than anything, Amber, believe me. To see you finally happy is all I want for you. But, right now, as far as you being happy is concerned, I don’t think you’re anywhere near it.’

Chapter Thirty-Two

Jim stood by the French doors, looking out onto the play area they’d created in part of their beautiful back garden. With swings and a sand pit, a climbing frame and a huge winding slide, it was full of things Rico was way too young to play with just yet, but they’d wanted to create a family garden from the start. Somewhere they could all enjoy and a place where memories would be made. But now there was a fear bubbling away inside of him; a fear that those memories would never be created. Rico might never get the chance to sit on that swing or play in that sand pit because he wouldn’t ever be here, because his mum wouldn’t be here.

It was a fear that wouldn’t go away now, and it scared him even more because Ryan was right. Jim had used all his ammunition. There was nothing left to fire, no winning shot that would make sure Amber stayed here. He was all out of ideas. But that didn’t mean Ryan had won.

Turning away from the window, Jim set his empty coffee mug down on the counter and headed back upstairs. It was still early, but he hadn’t been able to sleep and he hadn’t wanted to wake Amber or Rico. He could hear her voice now as he climbed the stairs. He could hear her talking to her baby son, and he had to stop on the landing for a second, just to breathe in deeply and say another silent prayer that this wouldn’t be the thing that finally swayed her. That beautiful baby wasn’t his, but he would love him as though he were and she knew that. He just had to hope that was enough and the pull of Rico’s real father being around twenty-four-seven wouldn’t be the winning argument in this situation.

Walking further along the landing, he stopped at the doorway to the nursery and leaned against the doorpost, watching as she stood at the window, talking to Rico, pointing outside and smiling at him as she held him close. His whole world stood just there; everything he’d ever wanted, even though he knew he’d probably realised this far too late. But she loved him, he knew she loved him. He just had to hope that, in the end, it was enough. Because he really wasn’t sure he was strong enough to cope with losing her; another woman he didn’t want to live without.

He let his mind wander back to last night. They’d been out together at a charity function organised by Cloud Sports. All eyes had been on them, every camera in that press line followed their every move. And she’d just oozed professionalism, even when the questions fired at her had been way too personal. She’d kept her arm tightly around his waist, holding onto him as though the world would end if she let him go, and he’d never felt more proud of her. More in love. She’d looked beautiful in a green jumpsuit and heels, that dark-red hair of hers loose and tousled, and he’d wanted the whole fucking world to know she was his. She was
his
. And nobody was taking her away from him. Nobody. Least of all Ryan Fisher.

Before that fear started rising again and before that anger returned, he walked back into their bedroom, opened the wardrobe and pulled out a small carry-on case. They needed to pack a few things for their visit to the north-east. It was the final weekend of the English football season, and Endleigh’s last match was, ironically, against Newcastle Red Star at Tynebridge. They were due to fly up there later that morning, giving them all a bit of time to relax before tomorrow’s match, although relaxing was the last thing on Jim’s mind. When Ryan Fisher was going to be so close to Amber – she was covering the match for Cloud Sports – how could Jim possibly relax? He knew what Ryan was trying to do; Ryan was making no secret of the fact he wanted her back. Jim knew Ryan was willing to fight just as hard as he was. How could he possibly relax?

‘Do you have to do that right now?’

He turned around to see her standing there, dressed in nothing but the shortest of nightdresses, that incredible body of hers almost all on show.

‘No. I don’t have to do it right now. Where’s Rico?’

‘He’s still a bit sleepy, so I’ve laid him down for a little while longer. He’ll let us know when he wants to wake up properly. I’m just grateful I’ve got a baby who likes his sleep.’

‘Let’s hope that doesn’t carry on into his teenage years, huh?’

Amber smiled, and Jim tried desperately to see if it had reached her eyes, to grab any kind of confirmation that she would actually still be here when Rico was a teenager. That they’d both still be here, with him. Living the life he wanted so badly.

‘Are you still flying up to Newcastle with me and the squad? Or…’

‘Both me and Ronnie are coming with all of you.’

‘Good. That’s good.’

‘What’s wrong, Jim?’

‘Nothing’s wrong.’

‘I keep asking the same question and you keep giving me the same answer.’

He looked at her, watching as she slowly pushed the straps of her nightdress down over her shoulders, her eyes never leaving his.

‘Maybe, if we make love first, you’ll feel more like talking to me?’

He swallowed hard as her nightdress fell to the floor, revealing that beautiful body of hers in all its naked glory. ‘There’s nothing to talk about,’ he whispered, his eyes focusing on her breasts as her breathing became a little heavier, his stomach turning those somersaults that made him feel like the teenager in love with the girl every guy in school wanted to date.

‘I love you, Jim. Have you got that yet?’

He raised his eyes to meet hers, holding her gaze for what felt like an eternity. ‘I know you love me, Amber. And I love you, too. Baby, I love you so much…’

‘Come here.’

He walked over to her, sliding an arm around her waist, pulling her naked body close to his, and he couldn’t stop the tears. He couldn’t stop them. He hadn’t even felt them coming until he’d touched her, but now they were streaming from his eyes and he couldn’t stop them.

‘We’re gonna be fine,’ she whispered, gently kissing those tears away, her fingers brushing his damp skin as her mouth touched his, briefly at first, but enough to make his stomach flip again, and that fear of losing her hit harder. ‘We’re gonna be okay.’

‘Are we? Amber, I really need to know… I want you to tell me…’

She shook her head, laying her fingers lightly over his lips. ‘No.’

‘Baby…’

‘I want you to make love to me, Jim. Right now, that’s all I want. I want to feel you touch me,’ She kissed him again, her mouth opening, her lips soft against his. ‘I want to feel you inside me.’

And there was no place he wanted to be more than inside her, touching her deeply, feeling those muscles of hers hold him tightly the way they always did, coaxing another killer climax right out of him. He wanted that, too. Oh, Jesus, did he want that!

‘I want to be your forever man, Amber. You know that, don’t you?’

She looked up at him with eyes that were wide and trusting; eyes that were screaming out how much she loved him, he could see that. And if he’d had any idea that she’d already called him her ‘forever man’ he would know how much hearing those words from him meant to her. But he didn’t know that. He just knew that he had to tell her everything he was feeling; he had to go against everything he’d ever been or tried to be. He had to lay himself bare and expose every fear because he wasn’t going to lose her. He wasn’t.

‘Make love to me, Jim.’

She was in his arms, her legs wrapped tightly around him before their mouths had even touched, the kiss growing deeper and harder as he carried her over to the bed, laying her gently down as he threw off his clothes. Everything felt different all of a sudden, as if Ryan Fisher had thrown down some kind of gauntlet and now he had no option left but to fight this battle to the end. And he would, if that’s what it was going to take. He’d fight so fucking hard.

Her skin was soft beneath his fingers as he ran his hands up over her legs, stroking those incredible hips of hers. He needed her like an addict craved their next fix. He would never tire of this. Never tire of touching her, of pushing inside her and feeling her taking him so deep he felt as though he was falling; he would never tire of that. And as she pulled her legs up around him, his stomach flipped once more as he felt her push against him, all beautiful and wet and ready for him.

Slipping his fingers between hers, he raised her arms up above her head, gasping quietly as she arched her back, pushing those breasts out towards him, her hips bucking up to meet his. And he was inside her before he’d even had a chance to realise it was happening; their bodies joined together as one, the way it was always meant to be. Amber Sullivan and Jim Allen were always meant to happen. There was no other script, no second draft or brand-new edit of this life they should be living. Because they were always meant to happen.

So why was he still crying? As he pushed deeper into her, her fingers gripped his as he thrust slowly in and out of her, but why was he still crying? Why was this so emotionally painful it hurt so badly, like nothing he’d ever felt before? It hurt. So badly.

Her hips bucked up again, harder this time, taking him as deep as he could go, and his fingers tightened around hers as those muscles inside her gripped him like the strongest of vices. But she came first, crying out loud as she pushed herself against him, and he took it all, preparing for his own release, which happened just seconds later, a mixture of beautiful pain and heartbreaking sadness flooding through him as their bodies moved together, taking every last second they could from the moment.

His baby girl. His beautiful wife. His whole fucking world. And he’d never been so scared.

*

‘I didn’t know you were gonna be here,’ Ryan said, opening his front door to see Max standing there.

‘You really think I’m gonna stay away when your last game is against Endleigh United?’

‘It’s just another club, Max.’

‘Don’t do it, Ryan.’

Ryan closed the door and leaned back against it, staring at Max. ‘Don’t do what?’

‘If I was the begging type, then that’s what I would do. I would beg you not to do this. But I’m not the begging type. So I’m asking you. As a friend, Ryan. I’m asking you this as a friend now. As someone who cares about you. As someone who cares about Amber. Please, don’t do this. Just let her live her life. Let yourself live yours.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ He headed off into the living room and Max followed him.

‘You have no guarantee that she’ll even talk to you. Her and Jim, they were out last night, did you know that? They were out, together, and there wasn’t a photographer or a journalist out there that didn’t want a piece of them. But some of the questions those reporters were throwing her way, they were past the point of personal. And that was because of you. You saw to that the second you stepped off that plane in Majorca. But she fended off all those questions about you as she walked that press line like the true professional she is. She fended them off and she told it how it was. And I think she meant every word, Ryan. When she stood there, with her arms wrapped around her husband, telling everyone how much in love with him she was, I think she meant that.’

Ryan ignored everything Max was saying, instead choosing to pace the floor of his living room, checking his watch every few seconds.

‘Are you listening to a word I’m saying?’ Max asked, sitting down on the arm of a nearby couch. ‘And why the hell are you obsessively checking your watch like that?’

‘She’s bringing Rico over as soon as she gets up here.’

‘
She’s
bringing him over? She said that, did she? She actually said
she
was bringing him over? After everything Jim said to you?’

‘She’s bringing him over. And I don’t think Amber cares too much about what Jim says’

‘That wasn’t the impression I got last night.’

‘I don’t want to know, Max.’

‘Well I think you
should
know. You should know that putting those thoughts into her head, whatever you’re telling her, it isn’t fair.’

‘And it’s fair that I should have to move so fucking far away just because I can’t handle… Jesus, Max, I’m not forcing her, okay? I’m not coercing her into coming with me or making her do anything she doesn’t want to do. I’m just trying to make her realise what’s best for her.’

Max just looked at him. ‘You do realise what you’re saying, don’t you?’

Ryan leaned back against the wall, pushing a hand through his hair, bowing his head as he let out the loudest sigh. ‘I’m really not forcing her into anything, Max.’

‘But you’re not making it easy for her.’

Ryan looked up. ‘And this is easy for me, is it? I’m the one who could be leaving my baby behind. I’m the one who could be leaving behind the woman I’m crazy about, and you have no idea how much that hurts. It’s fucking killing me, Max.’

‘Look, son, I know this isn’t easy. I know it isn’t; I can see that. But she’s with Jim. She married him, they’re making a life together…’

‘With
my
baby, Max.’

‘I know, Ryan. I know. But you’ve got to be strong, kiddo. Don’t let this destroy you, because it nearly did, remember? And you really don’t want to go back there.’

‘I can’t do it without her.’

‘Yes, you can. Do you hear me? You can. This could be the making of you, Ryan, I truly believe that. A whole new start without any distractions…’

‘Amber and Rico aren’t
distractions
. Jesus, Max…’

‘Okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that you need this, Ryan. You need to get away. And I wasn’t sure when he…’ Max stopped talking, realising he was saying way too much now.