Final Score (37 page)

Sitting down on the edge of his desk he reached for his phone, quickly scrolling down his contact list until he found the number he was looking for. ‘It’s Jim Allen… Yeah, I need to speak to him now.’ He didn’t want to fight any more. He was tired of fighting. But if that was what he had to do to keep Amber in his life, then he was going to have to play this game the only way he knew how.

*

‘Ronnie?’ Amber frowned as she looked at him, the angry red mark on his jaw evident. ‘What are you doing here? What the hell’s happened?’

‘Why don’t you ask your husband, Amber?’

‘No, hang on… Ronnie? Jesus!’ She almost ran the last few yards to Jim’s office. He was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands.

‘Jim?’

He slowly looked up, pushing both hands through his hair.

‘What was Ronnie doing here?’

Jim sighed, clasping his hands together. ‘Coming back down here was never really gonna solve anything, was it?’

‘What was Ronnie doing here, Jim?’

‘Too many people think they know so much about us, Amber.’

‘Did you hit him?’

He looked at her, right into her eyes. ‘They don’t know the truth. They have absolutely no idea how much I love you.’

‘Jim, for Christ’s sake, will you just answer a fucking question? What was Ronnie doing here?’

Jim stood up, walking slowly over to her. ‘He wants me out of your life, Amber. That’s why he was here. To warn me, almost.’

‘
Warn
you?’ Amber felt as though she was having one of those days where everything was just way too surreal for her to get her head around. First Ryan turning up spouting his speech about how Jim was no good for her and now this. ‘Was there some kind of fight?’

‘No. Baby, there was no fight. But he said things… he said things. And I lost my temper; I hit out.’

‘Jesus, Jim…’ Amber turned away, pushing a hand through her hair. ‘And that’s gonna solve everything, is it?’ She swung back around to face him. ‘You, lashing out just because someone says something you don’t like;
that’s
gonna solve all this crap?’

‘I love you, Amber.’

‘I know you do, but do you know what? I’m beginning to wonder if that’s really enough.’

Jim’s eyes narrowed as he stared at her. ‘What do you mean? Amber…’

‘I am crazy about you, and you know that. You’ve always known that, which is why you knew… you
knew
when you walked back into my life the way you did, that I’d fall. Eventually. You knew that. Same as you know how hard this is for me to stand here and tell you that I’m walking away.’

‘Amber, baby…’

‘Not forever, Jim. Listen to me, okay? Listen to me. I need to get out of here, away from this… I need some space…’

‘No.’ He shook his head, reaching out for her hand but she pulled it away. ‘Don’t do this, Amber. Please.’

‘You know, it’s strange, but… but I don’t regret being with you. I don’t regret marrying you or letting you back into my life because if I hadn’t… if I hadn’t let you back into my life I would have spent the rest of it wondering what would have happened if I had. And now I know, don’t I? Exactly what I
knew
would happen.’

‘It doesn’t have to be this way, baby.’

This time she allowed him to pull her into his arms; she allowed him to hold her, allowed his mouth to close in on hers until she was once more lost in his kiss. And that was a place she wanted to be lost in forever.

‘We need that space, Jim.’

‘And I think you’re wrong. Jesus, you’re letting them win.’

‘I need to take a step back, that’s all. Because… because maybe we rushed into all this. Maybe we should have thought harder before we…’

‘You are my whole fucking world, Amber, do you know that? You walk away from me and that world just disintegrates, it’s pointless. What I did to you, asking for that divorce, it was the worst mistake of my life, and I regret it every day because I never stopped loving you. Not for one second…’

‘Don’t use emotional blackmail, Jim, please. Don’t do that. I’m going to go back up north for a couple of weeks, that’s all. I’m just going to go back home, take some time out, be with my baby… I love you, okay?’ She ran her fingertips lightly over his jawline, running them over his slightly open mouth before kissing him slowly, letting the taste of him linger on her lips for as long as she could. ‘I love you, so much, but all of this… all these people…’

‘You’re letting them win.’

She shook her head, her fingers gripping his tighter. ‘You know, I don’t care, Jim. I’m not thinking about Ryan or Ronnie or anyone else. I’m thinking about
me
. And I know that I need to take a step back, I know that. If you want this to work, baby, then please, please accept that.’

‘You want me to just let you go?’

‘You’re not letting me go, Jim. I’m not going forever, I’ve told you that. Think of it… think of it as a working holiday.’

He frowned.

‘I’m going back to my roots,’ Amber said, letting go of him, folding her arms across her chest as she walked over to his desk, leaning back against it. ‘I’m going to do a little bit of work for News North East while I’m up in Newcastle. I had a meeting with my bosses at Cloud Sports, told them I needed to go back up north for a couple of weeks, and, along with Kevin, we’ve worked something out that benefits both of them, and me. If Cloud Sports can get a programme or two out of this then they’re not complaining.’

‘Oh, well that’s okay, then, isn’t it? As long as your fucking bosses are alright with it all, then who the hell am I to object? It’s just my freakin’ marriage that’s in trouble.’

She looked at him, taking a deep breath, clutching her arms tighter around herself. ‘Our marriage isn’t in trouble, Jim.’

‘Isn’t it? Then why the hell are you walking away from me, huh?’

‘To save it.’

He couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. ‘Do you
want
to save it? Honestly?’

She held his gaze. ‘Honestly? I want to save this marriage more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. Because when I told you I wouldn’t be able to cope without you, when I told you I wasn’t strong enough to do that I meant it. I’m terrified of leaving you behind, Jim. I’m scared of waking up in the morning and you not being there. But I need to do this. I need to be stronger.’

‘
He’s
up there, Amber. Ryan. He’s up there, where you’re gonna be.’

‘I don’t love him, Jim. Do you understand that? I don’t love him. I love
you
.’

‘And that’s why you’re walking away from me?’

She still couldn’t break the stare. ‘That’s why I’m walking away.’

‘You’re breaking my heart here, baby.’

She walked over to him, cupping his cheek in the palm of her hand as she kissed him, long and deep, falling against him as his arm slipped around her waist.

‘I can’t let you go, Amber. It’s too risky, and I…’

She put her fingers to his lips, shaking her head. ‘I’ll be gone by the time you get home. Okay?’

‘Jesus, Amber, please…’

She closed her eyes and let her mouth rest against his one more time, let his arms hold her tightly and felt her heart beat faster as their bodies touched.

‘Is this my fault?’ he whispered, pushing her hair back off her face, his other hand firmly in the small of her back. ‘Is this because of what I did to Ryan?’

‘I’m not gonna lie and say it doesn’t have something to do with it, because it has
everything
to do with it. I tried to pretend it didn’t matter, but it does matter. What you did was wrong. He didn’t deserve it, and I’m not saying that because he means anything to me, but he’s Rico’s dad, and I
have
to care about him, for our son’s sake. Does that make sense? You’re a father yourself, Jim, so you must understand…’

‘He’ll make a move, Amber. With you up there and me down here – he’ll try.’

‘He can try all he likes. But the only relationship Ryan Fisher and I have now is as parents to our baby. That’s all.’

‘But that’s one hell of a fucking bond there and I don’t know if I…’

She put her fingers to his lips again, silencing him. ‘This is a short and temporary break, Jim. That’s all. We aren’t separating, we aren’t making anything official, and I will be doing my utmost to make sure the media get that. Things have just got all crazy and out of hand and they need to calm down. Everybody needs to calm down. Then maybe we can all get back to normal.’

‘And you think you walking away is going to sort all that out?’

She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. And I don’t really care. Like I said, I’m not doing this for anybody – except us. I’m doing this for us because I don’t want to lose you, Jim. I don’t.’

‘I’m finding that so hard to believe, Amber. Baby, I don’t know if I can do this.’

‘You can. Darling, you can. Remember the Amber Sullivan you fell in love with? And I’m not talking about that sixteen-year-old kid with an infatuation. I’m talking about the strong-willed, feisty woman you came face to face with a couple of years ago. Remember her?’

He nodded, his fingers gripping her hand so tightly it was beginning to hurt.

‘I need her back, Jim. I need to find her again, because she’s lost somewhere amongst all these confusing feelings and people trying to tell me what they think is best for me. I lost her. And I need her back.’

‘But that Amber didn’t love me,’ Jim whispered.

‘Oh, she did. Believe me, she did.’

He threw his head back, letting out a heavy sigh. ‘This is fucking crazy.’

She tried to let go of him, but he pulled her back, his arm circling her waist again, pushing her against him. ‘I’m not saying goodbye, you got that? Because you’re gonna be back here, before I even know you’re gone. You’re gonna be back here, in my bed, and I’m gonna be making love to you as though you’ve never been away. Okay?’

She smiled, reaching up to touch his cheek, rubbing it gently with her thumb. ‘Okay.’

‘I love you, Amber. And don’t ever doubt that. I love you.’

‘I love you, too.’

And with every beat of her heart she hoped that love was strong enough. She hoped.

*

‘I will
never
be able to keep up with you, kiddo. When the hell did all
this
happen?’

‘I don’t know, Max.’ She zipped up her case and hauled it off the bed, opening another drawer and picking up a pile of stuff that she threw straight into another case. ‘I really don’t know.’

Max leaned against the doorpost, folding his arms. ‘What’s happened?’

‘Nothing’s happened.’

‘Yeah, well, call me suspicious, Amber, but you’re here throwing clothes into suitcases while telling me you’re moving back up to Newcastle for a fortnight. Ryan’s in a mood that has nothing to do with the punishment the F.A. has just given him this afternoon, because he got off rather lightly on that score. And Ronnie White is walking around the Cloud Sports complex with a bruise on his chin and a cut lip that he didn’t get from bumping into a door in the canteen. Not to mention the fact you’re going back to work for News North East…’

‘I’m not going back to work for them, Max.’

‘What
are
you doing, then? Because, despite the fact I’m your agent – something you appear to forget about on a frequent basis – the first I heard of any of this was the second I walked through your front door twenty minutes ago.’

‘I’m doing a programme for Cloud Sports on the state of football in the north-east, that’s what I’m doing. And Kevin has kindly allowed me to work from the News North East offices while I’m up in Newcastle. And while I’m there I
might
do one or two pieces for them. For old time’s sake. We’ll have to see how things go.’

‘Thanks for filling me in. A spur-of-the-moment thing, was it?’

She looked at him. ‘What do you want me to say?’

He arched an eyebrow, his arms still folded across his chest.

She sat down on the edge of the bed, her shoulders sagging. ‘Ever since I had my suspicions about Jim being the one to expose Ryan and his involvement with that betting ring – it’s been hard to deal with, Max. And I tried, I did. I tried to believe that what Jim did was a mistake, that he hadn’t really meant to hurt Ryan. But I was kidding myself. His only intention in life seems to be to want to hurt Ryan, and I need to step back from it all for a while. I need to lose myself in something that doesn’t involve me having to think about all of this for a few days. Even though, in reality, it’s all I’m going to think about. But at least I can do it alone, without any of them on my case, trying to fill my head with their own thoughts, their own reasoning…’

‘Any of them? Who are we talking about, exactly?’

‘You know who, Max. Ryan, Ronnie, Jim… all of them. It’s too much, having them all coming at me – having them all going for each other.’

Max sighed, looking down at the floor for a beat or two. ‘And Ronnie was involved in a set-to with, who?’

‘Jim.’

‘Jesus, Amber. You’ve got enough going on in that complicated life of yours to keep the tabloids going for a year. So, you having second thoughts about being Mrs. Jim Allen?’

She shook her head, standing back up. ‘No. Never. I love that man like crazy, I just need some time out, that’s all. Because I don’t think I’ve really taken any of that for a long time, Max.’ She stopped what she was doing and looked at her agent. ‘What
did
happen at Ryan’s hearing?’

‘He got a three-match ban.’

‘Is that all?’

Max shrugged. ‘What can I say? We had some very persuasive people on our side.’

‘Has he gone back to Newcastle already?’

‘Left on the 14.25 flight out of Gatwick. He should be home right about now. And what time are
you
heading for home?’

‘I haven’t actually booked any flights yet. I thought me and Rico could just head off to the airport, see what flights are available, and if there’s nothing today we can spend the night in a hotel. It’s not a problem.’

‘I’m going back up for a few days. You can come with me. I’ll get my assistant to book the seats. I take it Fisher junior just sits with his mum, am I right?’