Fighting Destiny (Forsaken Sinners MC; Book 2) (Forsaken Sinners MC Series) (9 page)

Picking up her beer again, she takes a drink and goes on. “I knew there was something about you, and then we had sex, which was amazing, but as much as I enjoyed it and enjoyed being with you, there are things about you that scare the shit out of me. You’re so strong and intimidating. Don’t get me wrong, those aren’t bad qualities, but in my experience, it can lead to bad things. Regardless, there’s something about you that I can’t resist or get enough of. I came here to start over and live my life the way I wanted to, and if I protect myself from every little thing that scares me, that’s not living, it’s hiding. I don’t want to hide anymore. I’m just unsure how to get past some of my hang-ups and fears without pushing you away. I want you to know I want to try; I want to try this with you, if you want to try it with me.” I know she means what she says.

Reaching over, I take her beer out of her hands and place both on the floor on the side of the couch, then I take her by the hand and pull her over onto my lap. I can’t stay away from her anymore, I just
need
to touch her. “I understand being scared and I know you have a past that isn’t pleasant. Shit, my past isn’t sunshine and roses, either. I don’t know what happened or how your ex treated you, but you need to understand that I’m not him. I know it probably doesn’t come easy to you, but please just trust me and know that I would never hurt you.” I pull her chin up so she’s looking at me as I say the rest. “But I want to see what this is between us too. There’s something here, we both feel it, and I want to see where it takes us.”

I lean in to give her a quick kiss on the right side of her mouth. “I’ll be patient with you. I’m going to need you to be patient with me too because I’ve never been in a relationship before.” Then I kiss the left side of her mouth. “So if you promise to trust me, I promise that I will never hurt you and I will always protect you.” Then I kiss her fully on the lips.

When she pulls back, she has the most beautiful smile on her face that I have ever seen. “I trust you, Toby.” She leans back in to kiss me, but we need to talk about what happened at the club first, so I pull back just an inch, but it’s enough.

Smiling, I give her one more peck on the lips, then turn her on my lap so she’s straddling my hips. When she settles on top of me, I realize my mistake. I can feel her hot pussy through the thin layer of shorts she’s wearing. Fuck! Maybe this was a bad idea, but we need to get this all out of the way before anything else happens. “About what happened tonight at the club…” I let the sentence trail off, knowing she will understand what I mean. She laughs nervously.

“Yeah, about that...look, I’m not going to apologize for the things I said, but I do apologize if it upset you. That wasn’t my intent, but after hearing about the club from Dani and then my talk with Mack, I felt confident in how I judged the situation and what I said. As far as what she said about being yours,” she looks me straight in the eyes as she says this, but before saying any more, she leans in close and brushes her lips across mine so softly I can barely feel them. “I don’t care if you’ve been with her before. The only thing I care about is you being with me, and only me, from now on.”

“First of all, whatever happened between her and I meant nothing, and it’s been a while since we’ve been together, but since I’ve met you, I haven’t even looked at another chick. So, me being with you and only you is no fucking problem, Doll, but you’re mine now too. I hope you realize that.” I wink so it doesn’t scare her, but I want her to know that I’m serious.

She smiles, so I know she gets it and I haven’t scared her off. Good, now we can get to the second part. “And about what you said to her, you have nothing to be worried about. To be honest, if you hadn’t said anything, what I would’ve said would’ve been so much worse, but I’m glad it came from you. It shows that you demand respect and won’t take her shit, or anyone else’s. I know you don’t know the way of the club yet, but I’ll get you there, babe. You’re already off to a great start. What you did tonight wasn’t bad. If anything, it was great.” When she nods, I decide it’s time to get to the important stuff. “Now, where were we?” I ask, but don’t wait for her to respond. I just dive right in and take her lips in a hard kiss.

She doesn’t disappoint. She meets my desperation for her and adds her own by biting my lower lip. Growling into her mouth, I grab her ass and stand, not breaking our connection.

Walking over to her bedroom door, I kick it open and drop down on her bed. Lifting up onto my elbows so I don’t crush her, I break the kiss, but keep my lips on her body. I kiss her jaw, down her neck, and over her breasts. I take one of my hands and push the bottom of her shirt up, baring her naked nipple to my hungry mouth and suck hard while flicking my tongue on the hard peak. “Oh God, Toby, that feels so good,” she moans as she runs her hands over my shaved head. I move over to her other nipple and suck it deep into my mouth before biting down.

My hands move south as I continue torturing her tits. When I reach her shorts, I can feel that she’s so wet, that she’s soaked through the material.

“These need to go,” I say before I rip her shorts off, along with her panties. Looking down, I see her bare before me. “Fuck. You have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.” Spreading her legs, I run my finger through her excitement. “You wet for me, Doll? How bad do you want my cock inside your pretty pussy?” Even though she got off both times we had sex, it felt rushed. I want to take my time with her tonight―build her up so high that she never wants to come back down.

“Yes, I want you inside of me.”

Stroking her with my finger, I position myself on the bed so my face is level with her pussy. I can’t fucking wait to taste her. Starting at the bottom, I give her a long, hard lick, then replace my finger with my tongue by swirling it around her clit. “Ah, yes, please!” Knowing she’s close, I let up, not ready for it to end yet.

I can see surprise and frustration on her face, but it all goes away when I pull myself up so I’m kneeling between her legs. I grab my belt and slowly unbuckle it, pulling it through the loops. “Do you trust me, Sara?” I raise my belt up so she can see it and grab one of her hands, and she understands what I want to do. I can see uncertainty and fear reflecting back at me, but she shakes it off and nods her head once. “I need you to say it, Doll. Do you trust me?” She doesn’t hesitate this time.

“Yes. I trust you.” I reward her with a kiss as I take both of her hands and pull them above her head. When I lift my head, I make sure she’s looking at me before I say, “I won’t hurt you. If it becomes too much, just say the word Red, and I’ll stop. I promise.” Again, she doesn’t hesitate.

“Okay.”

I lift the belt and wrap it around her wrists, making it loose enough that it doesn’t hurt her, but tight enough that she can’t get out. Then I wrap the other end through her metal headboard. Once she’s restrained, I run my hands down her arms, over her breasts and back down to her pussy. “If you want me to stop, what do you say? Let me hear you say it before I go any further.” She’s still wet, so I know she’s still with me, but I need to be sure she understands the rules.

“Red,” she says on another moan.

“That’s my girl.”

Done talking, I drive my tongue back into her pussy, done messing around. I want to hear her scream my name and come all over my mouth.

Flicking her clit with my tongue, I take two fingers and push them inside of her. She squeezes me so tight that I can’t move. Knowing I won’t be able to hold off much longer before my need to feel her around my cock is too much, I start moving my fingers in a fast pace and take her clit into my mouth and suck, hard.

“OH FUCK! Yes, Toby,YES!” I hear her scream seconds before I feel her convulse on my fingers and her taste explodes in my mouth.

“That’s it, Doll,” I say as I continue to lick and suck until I feel her relax into the bed.

Pulling my fingers out, I kiss my way up her body until I’m level with her face.

It takes her a couple of seconds to come back down to earth and open her eyes. “You ready for more?” I ask, hoping she’s not done yet. I want to feel her squeeze my cock and feel her juices run down my thighs.

She pulls at her restraints and lifts her lips to mine for a hungry kiss. “Yes, I want your cock inside me.” She doesn’t need to tell me twice.

I hurry to pull my shirt over my head and rip my jeans and boxers off. Within seconds, I’m balls deep inside her pussy and she’s squeezing me so fucking tight. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good.” I pull out slowly so only the tip of my cock is inside her before I slam back home.

I continue at a slow, but hard pace, never getting enough of the way I feel as I reach the end of her. I’m so deep that I don’t know how I’m not hurting her, but I can tell I’m not.

She starts pulling at the belt that holds her hands. “Please, I want to feel you.” Reaching up, I release the belt and rub her arms before she wraps them around my neck, pulling my lips down to hers.

Her pussy starts to slowly contract around me so I know she’s close again, and I’m not far behind. Pulling my mouth away from hers, I look into her eyes and say, “Come with me, Sara. Show me how good my cock feels inside your pussy.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, she clamps down hard on my cock, screaming my name. Thrusting once more, I follow her into oblivion. “Fuck, Doll, Fuck!” Spilling myself inside her, I feel lighter and happier than I have my whole life. This woman was made for me.

Pulling out, I roll over onto my back and pull her on top of me. Running my hand from the top of her head to the top of her ass, I just breathe her in while my heart rate slows.

Minutes pass, or maybe it’s hours, but she finally raises her head to look at me. “We never used a condom,” she says quietly. Trying to gauge where her mind is at, I look for any sign that she’s freaking out, but I don’t see anything.

Reaching my hand up, I push a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry. I just lose my mind when I’m around you, but I’ve never not used a condom. I get checked every six months, and I’m clean.” She smiles at me before leaning down to kiss me softly. “It okay, you do the same to me. But so you know, I’m clean too.” With that out of the way, she lays her head back down on my chest and quickly falls asleep.

Closing my eyes, the last thing that runs through my head is that I’m one lucky fucker that she’s agreed to take a chance on me―on us.

Sara

It’s been two weeks since that night at the club, and things have been going great with Toby, and we see each other every day, either downstairs in the shop, or in my apartment. I’ve gone to his house, and we’ve even spent some time at the clubhouse, though I’m still a little uncomfortable there. It has more to do with some of the things I see than it does with the people who are there. I actually like most of the guys. I’ve even talked to a few of the girls, but most of the club whores, I don’t really like. It’s not because of who they are or that they sleep with the men there. It’s more because of how they try and treat me like I’m beneath them. Not that I think
they
are beneath
me
, but I know where they stand in the club, and I know where I’m hoping to stand in the club; beside Toby.

Toby and I have talked quite a bit about things I’ve seen or done since I’ve been here, or people I’ve met here, and Toby talks about the club and his fighting career. I’ve told him about some of my dreams for the future and some happy memories I had as a kid; like getting a puppy for my sixth birthday and having him till I was fifteen. I miss that dog to this day, but I’m hoping that once I get more settled, I can get another dog.

We’ve also talked a little about the past, just not in great detail. I plan to tell him more about mine, and I hope he tells me more of his too, but for now, we’re happy with the way things are and just living in the present, only thinking about the future. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy before in my life, but there’s a part of me that keeps waiting for him to change. I keep thinking that my past will repeat itself, and that scares the shit out of me.

I’ve caught myself a few times being scared of not doing something right and how he’ll react, but I try to put a stop to it right away. I don’t want to punish him, or myself for that matter, for someone else’s actions. What Rick did to me really messed me up, but Toby isn’t Rick and I need to remember that. I think I’m getting better, but I hope soon those feelings of fear will go away completely. Then I can be truly happy, and I think Toby might be someone who can help me with that.

Hearing my phone buzz, I look at the clock and realize I was supposed to be downstairs ten minutes ago for work.

Thinking it’s Dani asking me where I am, I unlock my phone as I push out the door.

Toby: Got any plans tonight?

Seeing the text is from Toby and not Dani, I stop walking and give myself a moment to just bask in my happiness of hearing from him. Really, we rarely go even a few hours without talking or seeing each other.

Me: I’m working late tonight, but do you want to hang out after?

I start walking again, wanting to get in the shop before Dani gets upset. I don’t think she’d really get upset with me, but she’s been so amazing to me and with everything she’s doing to help me out, I don’t want to push my luck.

By the time I make it to my desk, I hear my phone buzz again, but before I can look to see if he’s going to come over, Dani walks out from her station, with who I assume is a customer, right behind her. “Sara will ring you up and make sure you’re all squared away with your aftercare. Let me know if you have any problems,” she tells him, then looks over to me. “Meet me in the back when you’re finished up here, okay?” I just nod and watch her walk away without saying anything else.

After the customer walks out, I quickly make my way to the back of the shop, not wanting Dani to wait any longer than necessary. Shit, I hope she isn’t pissed. This is the first time that I’ve been late, but I don’t want her to think that since we’ve gotten closer, or that Toby and I are together, that I would start taking advantage of her.

When I walk into the back room, she’s sitting on the counter in the break room. I still can’t decipher what she’s thinking or what her mood is like. Her face is for the most part, expressionless. “I’m sorry I was late. I just got caught up cleaning and I promise, it won’t happen again, I swear,” I rush to assure her, but she doesn’t say anything. She just stares at me like she’s expecting more from me, and I get nervous.

I start to fidget with my shirt and stumble on my words. “I ah, I-I can stay later tonight and clean up, or I’ll come in early tomorrow to make up the time.” Still, I get no reaction from her. She’s still just sitting there, staring at me. I can’t take it anymore, so I drop my eyes and head over to the coffee maker to start the brew. I think today is going to be one of those days that I’ll consume mass amounts of caffeine because of my nerves, which will only make my jitters worse, but I’ll do it anyway.

While I’m pouring water into the machine, I hear her clear her throat, which frightens me so much that I jump. I finish with the coffee and turn around to face her again, hoping she ends my suffering.

When my eyes meet hers, her lips twitch, which could either be a smile or a sneer, I’m not really sure at the moment. “Will you…will you just say what you’re thinking already? You’re freaking me out.” At least if she were yelling at me, or shit, even firing me, I’d know where I stand and try to figure out what I need to do to fix it.

Jumping down from the counter, she slowly stalks towards me. I didn’t notice out front before, but now that I’m really paying attention to her, I see that she’s wearing a cute pair of cut-off jean shorts, a white tank top, and her leather jacket. Since the tank top is tighter than I’ve seen her wear lately, I can now tell that she’s starting to show her pregnancy. I want to squeal, jump up and down, or hug her because it’s so exciting, but I’m not doing shit till I know what’s up. It’s so fucking frustrating!

When she’s right in front of me, in my personal space, she crosses her arms and stares at me, hard. “Well, what do you have to say for yourself?” she says in a “don’t fuck with me” tone. Thinking she’s talking about my tardiness, I rush to explain myself again.

“I’m so sorry I was late. I just lost track of time. I swear to you, it will never happen again. And I’ll―” I’m cut off when she holds up her hand to stop me, not letting me finish.

“I don’t want to hear any of that bullshit,” she says in a low voice, which scares me more than if she would have yelled in my face.

Feeling completely defeated, I drop my head. “Are you going to fire me?” I whisper, not being able to stand the thought of not only losing my job and most likely the apartment too, but I find myself more upset with the fact I’ve disappointed her and let her down. Dani has been so good to me and I don’t want to lose her as a boss, but what’s more, I don’t want to lose her as a friend.

I snap my head up in surprise when she bends over and laughs so hard, her whole body is shakes. I’m so confused, and maybe a little irritated, that she finds her firing me amusing, but I figure it would be best to just let her get it out than to interrupt her. No sense in making matters worse, right?

When she finally calms down, she wipes a few tears that have fallen in her fit of laughter, and straightens back up to look at me in amusement. “You really think I’m upset with you about being late, or that I’d actually
fire
you over it? Come on, Sara, I’m not that big of a bitch.” She laughs again, then settles down before saying, “I’m talking about you and Toby, girl. When are you going to give me details? I’ve been patiently waiting for you to come to me and tell me what’s been going on, but I get nothing. So now, I’ll get it out of you, even if I have to use mass amounts of alcohol.” She ends with a laugh.

I let out the breath, “Oh my God, you scared the shit out of me. I seriously thought you were pissed at me. Why didn’t you just say that you wanted to know that? I would’ve told you if you’d asked.” I’ve never really had girlfriends before, or at least the type that I’ve confided in. I mean, let’s face it, I haven’t had anything in the relationship department in a while that I’d want to brag or gossip about with another girl. Yet, it would be nice to sit down and talk to her about him, especially since they are good friends. Maybe I can get some more insight into who he is and what to expect out of him. He’s told me a little bit about his life, but it’s mostly from his time being in the club. I don’t really know about his past, about what made him who he is today, but I haven’t given him details on some things about my past either, so I can’t really blame him. We’ll get there eventually, or I hope we do.

Maybe now would be a good time to mention to her about some of my fears and see if she can give me some advice on how best to mention those fears to Toby without him freaking out and thinking he’s doing something wrong, because that’s the last thing I want him to feel. Walking over to the small couch in the break room, I let out a little laugh. “I don’t even know where to start.” I try to figure out what I should say, but Dani interrupts.

“Just tell me what’s going on with you two.”  She sits across from me on one of the chairs and waits.

“Okay,” I say, then tell her from start to finish about the chain of events that led up to today. I tell her about attending the self-defense class and how Toby was the instructor. I tell her about getting a job at the strip club, and how I hated it but needed the money. She told me that Lyle is a part of the MC, but he doesn’t hang out at the clubhouse often. When I told her about the guy that attacked me at the club the night Toby was there, she yelled and cursed, but was just glad nothing major happened. I tell her how Toby took me home with him and we had sex for the first time. I don’t go into specifics, but I tell her how being with him made me feel both elated and scared. I talk to her about my fears, but that I don’t want to feel like this anymore.

When I look up at her, she has a look of pity, but it’s quickly replaced with understanding. “Look, Sara, I get where you were coming from and why you were scared, I really do. When I first got here, I was hesitant to open up about what happened to me, but if you ever want to get over what happened and move on, you need to talk about it. You need to tell the people who care about you, the people you care about, what happened. We can help you. Not just help protect you, but we can be there for you too. We’re a family, and whether you think so or not, you’re a part of that family. You have been since you got here, you just didn’t know it yet.” Her words make me so happy, but sad too. I wasted so much time being scared and not opening up to everyone.

“I know that now, and you all mean so much to me too. I’m just sorry I didn’t realize all that until talking with Mack that night at the club. He was so nice and understanding, even offering to help me if needed. I knew you were all good people and I had nothing to be afraid of, but that was easier said than done. For some reason, talking with Mack that night put everything into perspective for me. Like you said, we’re a family.” I have a family now. For so long, I’ve felt so alone, and now I’m not.

She smiles sweetly at me and has a look of admiration on her face. “Mack really is great. He’s like a father to me. I’m glad that you feel comfortable around him though, he really is an amazing man and will do anything it takes to make sure his family is safe.” I nod my head because I agree with her. Mack really is great and I’m glad that he’s in my life.

“Things have been good, great even, since we talked about what we both wanted. We haven’t discussed anything more about us as a couple, or even officially made it known to each other that we are a couple, we just
are
. I’m really happy though, Dani. He’s truly amazing―you all are. I’m so grateful I met all of you and now have you in my life.” I tear up at the end, but they’re happy tears. I finally feel like the past is behind me and I can finally move on with my life.

I notice that Dani has tears in her eyes as well, but she tries to make light of it. “These damn pregnancy hormones, I tell ya. I can’t go one fucking day without crying. Even those animal shelter commercials make me cry. I hate it!” I can tell she isn’t used to showing emotions like this and that crying really does bother her, but I hope that she knows she can be herself around me and not put up her tough-girl front if she doesn’t have to.

Pulling her over to me, we hug and wipe our eyes. “All right, bitch, back to work. I’ll be out once I fix my face.” With that, she gets up and walks over to the bathroom across the hall.

Heading out front, I sit at my desk and look through the appointment book. Today is actually a slow day, which I’m grateful for.

I hear my phone buzz in my purse, remembering Toby’s text message from earlier. Shit, I forgot to text him back. Grabbing my phone, I hear the bell on the front door jingle, but instead of looking up to greet whoever it is, I unlock my phone and say, “I’ll be right with you.”

Whoever walks in doesn’t respond, and that’s fine by me. I really need to let Toby know I wasn’t ignoring him. Just as I’m pulling up my messages, the person speaks, and the voice has me paralyzed with fear. “Hello, Sara. Miss me?”

Looking up, I see Rick leaning against the desk with a cruel smile on his face. The way he’s looking at me, I can tell that he’s trying to act as normal as possible since we’re in a place of business, but I see the danger lurking in his eyes.

I sit back straight in my chair and try to push myself further away from the desk, and from him, without him noticing. I need to distract him. Maybe if I wait long enough, someone will come in and he’ll have no choice but to leave. “W-what are you doing here, Rick?” I stumble over my words, my fear making it hard to talk.

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, he drops the smile. “Why, I’m here to bring you home.” The smile is back, but it’s even crueler now, letting me know what waits for me. I can’t let this happen. I’m not leaving with him. I’m finally getting my life back and have people who care about me. No, I’m not leaving with him; not now, not ever.