Fianna Kelly Versus the Jeebees: A Collection of Steampunk Stories (21 page)

I
started, "Reginald. You told me the agreement concerning my airship had
many parts. How many?"

"As
best as I can recall, between 40 and 50."

"Do
we have a copy of it?"

"No."

"Why
not?"

"Gerald
tried every trick he knew, but they classified it so important that even we
can't keep a copy."

"But
you read it, yes?"

"I
read it carefully, dreading this day would come."

"Did
it state that the Clover was not allowed to leave the hangar?"

"No."

"Did
it state the Royal Navy was to watch over it?"

"No,
it clearly stated we were solely responsible for her safety."

"Okay
Captain, we don't think we did anything wrong. What do you think?"

He
said, "I am confused. You have a nice airship here Miss, but it's not a
warship. It's obvious to me that you haven't stolen it either. I don't know
what agreement you are referring to. I just have short and specific
orders."

"Reginald,
what else can we say?"

"Gerald
should have told you that we decide who needs to know the truth and when. Right
now, I don't think Captain Plumer needs us to tell him the full story. I doubt
he'd believe it. His admirals have given him as little information as they
could."

I
addressed the Captain. "We have two aviators who fly the airship. I guess
Reginald and I could be considered crew as we are in command. That makes four
crew members in all. My four friends will be back from town in a few hours.
They are most definitely to be considered as passengers only. Under those
conditions, you may consider the ship seized and the crew detained as per your
orders."

The
Captain said, "You are being very reasonable. I can agree to those
terms."

Reginald
looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't want to interrupt. I nodded
to him. He asked, "Captain, what did your orders say to do with the Clover
after seizing her?"

The
Captain shrugged. "They didn't. Someone will update my orders when I
report in."

I
said, "Gerald taught me not to ask this kind of question but could you
clarify what 'detain' means in our situation? Is it locked in our rooms or put
in a cell or what?"

He
looked around and said, "I think the boundaries of this clearing should be
suitable confinement. If you or your crew have a valid need to go beyond that,
I'll assign an officer for escort."

I
said, "Thank you for your generosity. I would appreciate it if you would
allow Reginald to send a telegram to our employer explaining the
situation."

The
Captain said, "I need to send one as well. Let's write them out and I'll
dispatch a man to take them to the telegraph office in town."

Reginald
and the Captain wrote out their telegrams. He peeked at where Reginald was
sending our message and asked, "That is your employer?" We both
nodded. "I guess I should prepare my defence for the court-martial."

I
smiled at him. "Don't worry. You've seized the Clover and detained us.
That's just what your orders said, yes?"

"Why
do you seem so happy about this?"

"I
can't tell you that yet... Captain, you and your crew are welcome to join us
for lunch." I stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I feel like a good long
bath. I believe the water will still be hot."

I
went to my suite, locked the door behind me, and relaxed in my tub so long that
my feet looked like prunes. I had read somewhere recently that the owner of a
vessel was expected to dress in formal attire for meals so I took the extra
time to arrange my hair and my jewellery to impress. When I reached the main
door of my ship, I was astounded by the number of people outside.

I
waved to Melissa and she sashayed over. I asked, "Where did all these
people come from?"

She
said, "A few wanted to see your airship up close. Another couple offered
to bring our bicycles and shopping back in their wagons, but Bevin had arranged
the loan of a wagon and horses instead."

"What
about the rest?"

"I
think that bunch to your left told all their friends we were having a potluck
later or maybe that was Darina's suggestion."

"I
can't say I'm displeased to see all the people here. It will make my work
easier, but I'm a bit surprised."

She
replied, "I see you made a dozen new friends as well."

As
hostess of this gathering, I went around; introducing myself and seeing that
all were enjoying the day. The children were fascinated with Bradan and Sheela
was telling them stories. Bevin and Darina made tea sandwiches; a wise decision
based on the unexpected number of people. I asked Darina, "How much food
did you buy?"

"Once
Bevin had a wagon and I saw how much attention we were getting, I went back and
got enough bread and meats for a small army. I didn't realise that I needed to
buy for a small navy too. You needn't worry as dinner will be a potluck."

I
saw Asher and got him to bring another table and chairs out from the sitting
room. Some men helped him once they were outside and I asked them to arrange the
chairs in the shade provided by the Clover. From my seat, I could see the path
into town. It was a busy road today. Some people would stop for just a few
minutes before continuing on, while others would find a place to rest their
horses and stay for longer.

A
carriage driver dropped a sailor off on his way out of town. Captain Plumer
walked out to meet him and they came over to me.

The
sailor handed the captain a stack of little notes. He handed Reginald a single
telegram which he showed me. It read,

Proceed
with assignment.  I have faith in her.

I
addressed the Captain. "I don't know what your orders are, but mine say I
need to work."

He
sighed. "I need to sort these out before I do anything. For now, nothing
has changed between us."

I
went to my friends, one at a time as they were scattered around the clearing,
and explained the situation. I told them how it was wonderful they had brought
so many people here since I wasn't allowed to leave. I asked them to find out
about anything strange that happened recently. I stressed that they will not
confirm that jeebees really did exist.

I
was feeling a bit peckish myself and went up to the galley to see what they had
brought back. The first thing I noticed was a tray of strawberries. Bevin had
likely bought these just for me. She was that kind of person. I wondered if I
could guess who picked out each item based on their personalities. There was a
bag filled with vegetables; not the kinds for making salads. Melissa probably
chose these with care to get the freshest ones. I saw two dozen eggs near the
stove. That would be Sheela's contribution, always thinking ahead as she would
be doing breakfast tomorrow. It appeared she had picked out a few good loaves
of bread as well. That left Darina. I expected that she took my instructions to
avoid low-cost items to heart and found things that we normally couldn't
afford. It was difficult to tell as there were so many interesting meats and
cheeses in the icebox. I concluded that she had picked out all the meat;
looking for the best quality and least fat.

I
put the strawberries in a large bowl before beginning my own investigations. If
I ever needed something to start a conversation, I could just offer some. It
wasn't a surprise that many pleasant talks began that way. As Gerald had taught
me, I just teased around the subject and let the people tell their story the
way they wanted. Unfortunately, I didn't find out anything of use except that
the strawberries were very good. I would have to thank Bevin and ask her where
she found them later.

As
the sun got low in the sky, Melissa and I went inside my ship to cook dinner.
We decided to make a shepard's pie. It was the same ingredients as my stew,
just less water. As with any potluck, it was difficult to guess how much to
make. We put the water on the stove to boil and opened the window. I
interrupted a sailor talking with Bevin, told him what we were making, and
asked if the navy was able to contribute to dinner. He assured me they would do
their share and ran to his airship.

He
returned shortly with a bushel of potatoes, already peeled. I thanked him and
Bevin led him to the galley where Melissa and I were preparing to chop onions.

We
had about the same number of guests for dinner as lunch. The navy also
contributed plates and forks which was gratefully accepted as we had less than
two dozen of our own. Most people brought their own place settings as well as a
dish to share.

All
things considered, I couldn't have planned anything better. Instead of us going
all about town talking to people one at a time, they came to us. People wanted
to sing, and they wanted to dance, and Bevin wanted to play her concertina, and
I was happy. We all sang:

When
the law can stop the blades of grass
From growing as they grow,
And when the leaves in summer time
Their verdure dare not show,
Then I will change the colour
I wear in my caubeen,
But till that day I'll stick for aye
To wearing of the green.
[viii]

Captain
Plumer caught up to me at one point. "Your tutor spun a fine tale about a
one-of-a-kind weapon on your ship. I don't know whether to believe him or
not."

"So,
he changed his mind," I said. "Pray that when we leave, you will
still be indecisive." I looked towards the setting sun. "Red skies at
night..."

He
finished "... sailors delight."

"I
love how the setting sun reflects off the airships."

"I'm
not your boss, just your friend. We'd all be going out today, but four of us
are stuck here until the navy tells us otherwise."

Melissa
said, "We know that and it isn't fair. We also know you'd rather be with
us women than with all those handsome sailors."

We
all laughed at that. "I don't recall them fighting for my affections
yesterday," I said.

Darina
asked, "What do we tell people if they ask why we are here? Yesterday,
they didn't care; we were just travellers passing by."

"When
in doubt, tell them the truth... but just enough to get by. If anyone asks me,
I will reply that 'I am interested in stories of strange things'."

Bevin
added, "What do we do with the stories that we hear?"

"You
write them down and give them to me. If they ask more, tell them that what I do
with them is my business, not yours. It may sound rude, but 'tis
truthful."

"Darina
and I will make lunch; hopefully not left-overs from last night. I leant the
wagon to the navy and gave them a shopping list."

I
watched them ride out on their bicycles again. If I had my choice, I would be
riding on a horse out to the farms for two hours and then riding back by a
different route. Instead, Reginald was going to teach me about Oriental stage
fighting.

I
went back to the Clover for my first lesson. He said, "There are many
aspects of Oriental fighting and European dancing that are similar. I see you
looking at me funny, but it's true."

"I
was just imagining two guys waltzing together with sabres in their hands."

"When
someone comes running towards you with murderous intent, you wouldn't stand in
one place would you?"

"To
be sure, I will not."

"When
on the stage, there is no room to run away either. They wait until their
opponent is close and step to one side. If they aren't too heavy, they trip
them or give them a push as they go by."

"How
does this relate to dancing?"

"You
watch your partner, see what he is going to do, and choose the proper
counter-move. If he takes a step forwards, you will take a step back. It is all
about following his lead. I'm sure you know that already."

"What
else?"

"There
are similar moves for when they punch or kick each other. They either move out
of the way or push the attack to one side."

"I
don't recall any dances involving punches."

"The
idea is that on stage, the performers work together, each one performing
differently yet in harmony so they do not injure each other. Students in both
disciplines get minor bruises while they learn. Would you like to dance?"

"I
will save you a spot on my dance card. I believe something interesting is about
to happen."

"Can
you see into the future?"

"No,
but I can see over your shoulder that a person is riding this way."

The
man dismounted and walked with his horse across the clearing. He held out five
envelopes and asked if any were addressed to me. I pointed at one and he handed
me all five. "I told him you were all together, but he insisted on one
letter apiece."

I
thanked him and offered him a coin, which he refused. I opened the one with my
name. It stated:

Mr. Brian
McEaneny,
Esquire
requests the pleasure of the company of
Miss Fianna Kelly and guest
at the summer dance
to be held tonight at six o'clock in the evening.

Carriages have been
arranged
to transport you to the Manor House.

I
would not have been surprised if my friends had somehow individually or all
together arranged for our invitations. I could imagine them expressing surprise
about the dance and acting sorrowful that we had not been invited. It also
wouldn't surprise me if an invitation wasn't required.

The
messenger asked how many carriages he should send. I figured three would be
about right for five women wearing party dresses and their escorts. He nodded
like he was expecting that answer although he might have preferred I chosen
less carriages and saved him some work. He walked his horse back to the path
before riding away.

Reginald
said, "Perhaps a relaxing evening without any responsibilities is what you
need. I recall that you look stunning in blue."

"I
think that I look presentable in blue. However, I've been told that Melissa
looks stunning in green and Bevin looks ravishing in red... When did you see me
wearing blue?"

"I
was at the ball a year ago teaching an Italian woman how to waltz.
Unfortunately, her dancing was as poor as her pistol scores. I only noticed you
because you never stopped dancing. When the music played, you danced."

"That
was the night I was so happy to be alive. I had walked into a nightmare and
crawled out the other side. I had dreamt of that ball for months and accepted
that it was beyond my reach... and then everything changed."

"What
colour will you wear tonight?"

"Let's
first see if the navy will allow me time off for good behaviour."

Hopefully,
my friends had packed a party dress. I knew that I had brought a few, just
because I could and one never knows when something formal will be required.
Considering the amount of luggage they had brought, I wouldn't be surprised if
their closets at home were near empty. Knowing them, if they hadn't brought
nice dresses along, they would not have arranged their invitations.

I
was also hoping I could arrange escorts for all of us. I was confident that I
could persuade the Royal Navy to release four sailors for the evening to attend
a party. That was the easy part since my girlfriends were not being kept inside
the clearing and there were plenty of sailors around doing nothing useful that
I could tell. The hard part was getting myself and Reginald permission for
something that was not required for our work. By the time I reached the
Constellation, I had a plan.

Captain
Plumer was busy doing whatever captains do when I knocked on his door. Unlike
my suite, his room was small and he barely had enough room for his chair and
table. I held out my invitation and started, "I have invitations from the
squire of these parts to a dance..."

"...and
I am a horrible dancer so must refuse."

I
smiled and said, "That was not going to be my first or second
questions."

"Oh,
I am sorry. I just thought you..."

"My
first question is if you have four sailors who you can spare and who would not
find it a chore to escort and dance with my friends?"

He
said, "Consider it possible if not for certain."

"My
second question is regarding myself and Reginald. I recall your conditions
regarding us needing to go somewhere and you've just said four of your men were
available..."

"You
are very good at negotiation. I seem to have no choice but to agree or renege
on what I previously offered."

"I
am merely asking for what was freely given."

"Next
time I am told to detain a charming woman; I will be careful what I offer lest
I find myself married."

I
laughed. "I doubt you'd find such a fate that unbearable.  You've already
answered the third question, although I would have worded it in such a way that
you asked it of me."

"Let's
find escorts for your friends. I currently feel like I've lost control, so you
must choose them."

He
had all his men stand in a single line without telling them why. All I saw were
well-groomed men in uniform. I had no idea how to choose. I decided to be
practical. We were going to a party and that meant they had better be able to
dance.

I
said, "Anyone who cannot waltz, take one step back." It was pure luck
that all but four stepped back. "Congratulations gentlemen, you are
qualified to escort my four girlfriends to a dance this evening. This is by
volunteer only. Would any of you four prefer to remain here?"

I
was not surprised by their replies. I addressed Captain Plumer. "I know
your men aren't paid much, but flowers would be nice."

"You
are correct on both counts. I will make sure you and your friends are not
disappointed."

I
walked back to my ship wondering what he meant and how best to surprise my
friends when they likely were expecting the invitations. I decided placing the
envelopes on their pillows would be the most fun.

I
was bored. I wanted to do something. I needed to do something. I saw the rifles
on my wall and thought about target practice. I could take out my frustrations
that way. I sent Bradan to the far end of the clearing with three targets while
I went over to the Constellation.

I
addressed the sailor on watch at the entrance. "I need a range safety
officer so I can practice with my rifle. Is there anyone qualified among your
crew?"

He
said, "That's required training for all of us. Tell me what you want to do
and I'll make sure no-one is hurt."

I
pointed to where Bradan had set up the targets and where I wanted to stand. He
suggested changes and we moved around to better locations. He checked my rifle
and I managed one shot before everyone came running. The sailor had me hand him
my rifle and stand at parade rest.

The
Captain asked me, "What are you shooting at?"

I
slid my goggles up and pointed to the targets in the distance. "Do you see
those three targets?"

"Yes,"
he said.

"Do
you see the red dot in the centre of the middle target?"

"No,
I don't"

"That
was what I was shooting at."

"Why
is one of my men holding your rifle?"

"This
man volunteered to be my range safety officer."

"Next
time he volunteers; he needs to inform the rest of the crew... You say you hit
the bulls-eye from here? How far away is that?"

"Bradan
figured it at 325 yards. It's a light wind from behind me, but nothing
difficult."

"Can
you repeat that on another target?"

I
looked to the sailor. He said, "The firing line is not clear."

The
Captain ordered everyone behind me, I was given approval and I shot the
bulls-eye of the left target. I ejected the spent shell and waited. I heard the
men talking softly, but I didn't catch any words.

I
handed the sailor my rifle again and said, "There's one more pristine
target. Does anyone need practice?"

One
man spoke up. "I'd like to try."

I
motioned to let him take my place, but my safety officer said, "You have
to use a rifle you are familiar with, Colin. That target is too far away for
you to borrow hers."

He
replied, "I'll be back in a minute then."

The
Captain looked at me funny. "There is something you didn't or couldn't
tell me, isn't there?"

I
said, "The subject didn't come up. Last year about this time I placed
third overall at the International Firearms Tournament."

He
said, "Now some things make sense. We don't loan out airships to women who
knit very well. What is your speciality?"

"I
shoot at targets ranging from 200 to 1200 yards."

"Can
you hit a bulls-eye at 1200 yards?"

"Not
often, but with that rifle I can hit the black area of the target every
time."

Colin
returned with his rifle. It was a Winchester repeating rifle. I considered it a
good rifle, but too inconsistent for target shooting. The safety officer
checked that mine was safe and handed it back to me before inspecting his. I
joined the men standing in the safe area and removed the telescope from my
rifle so I could see the targets better.

His
first shot was high and to the left. I let him know as I doubted he could tell.
He went down on one knee for the second shot. That one was better; just below the
bulls-eye. He handed his rifle to the officer and said, "I know when to
quit. It's all yours."

I
put the telescope back on my rifle and had the officer check it. He told me I
had it on loose and passed it back. I reconnected it and he approved. Another
shot and another bulls-eye. I yelled at Bradan to bring the targets back while
I handed my rifle to the officer and collected my spent brass. They looked good
enough to be reloaded and reused.

I
had originally thought that firing 20 cartridges would be a good amount to
relieve the boredom. I had over 100 in my suite and I was hoping I wouldn't
need that many on this trip. After firing those three, it felt like I would
just be trying to impress the sailors. I could always get in more practice when
this assignment was over.

I
spent some time showing the men my rifle and what made it so wonderful; all
under the watchful eye of my safety officer. I told them that even though it
could be used in battles, it excelled at the target range. The Captain looked
at me when I mentioned battles. I figured if he wanted to talk about them, he
could ask me himself.