“So beautiful,” he whispered against her lips.
She shivered, wrapped her arms around his neck. Lacing her fingers through his hair, she drew him closer, deepening the kiss.
He growled deep in his throat, but the tender pressure of his lips on hers never died, even as he grabbed her waist and pressed her hips against his until she felt the length of him against her stomach. She trembled.
His lips trailed down her neck, his tongue caressing every inch of her. She tightened her grip around his neck. His hand glided up her stomach, grasping her breast.
She moaned.
He hissed.
Then he was gone. His lips, his body, his warmth. Just gone.
Her arms, empty, fell down to her sides. Her eyes snapped open, landing on him six feet away. It felt like eighty. His back to her, telling her everything she needed to know.
He regretted it. He wanted her a moment ago, but now, he had time to think and realized his mistake.
Her fault. She should’ve thought it through, should’ve controlled her urges, should’ve listened to her gift’s warning.
Yet, she’d instigated this, given into her desires and kissed him. Now, he couldn’t stand to look at her. How it hurt. She ached, ached everywhere her body trembled from it.
Her cheeks flamed.
After what seemed like forever, he turned to her and closed the distance between them. She held her breath.
“Thank you. I needed that.”
What? A woman’s touch, kiss? Any woman’s? The ache deepened, gnawing a hole in her chest. Why hadn’t she listened to the warning and saved herself that ache? What had she been thinking?
Feeling tears well in her eyes, she blinked quickly, a surefire way not to cry. “You’re welcome.” She turned on her heel.
“What’s wrong?”
Ignoring him, she kept walking. She didn’t know where to go, had no idea where he’d taken her, but she walked away.
He reached to grab her hand and lightly grazed her before she snatched it away. A small graze and like a movie reel, a scene from his past replayed in her mind. She froze solid, her breaths coming out fast.
“Marry me,” Jacob pleaded.
A beautiful brunette smiled sadly. “You know why I can’t.”
He sighed heavily. Pained by her refusal.
“I’m not your fated.”
“It doesn’t matter! I love you. I want to marry you. I don’t care about my fated.”
He said it with such emotion, Valerie’s heart clenched in her chest.
“You’ve never met her. The moment you do, this is over, Jacob. No matter how much I love you, no matter how much you love me.”
The image dissipated. Breathless, Valerie wrapped her arms around herself, fighting the pain in her chest.
Of course, now it made sense. The nameless woman Jacob loved was the reason he was an angry, bitter warrior. The reason Valerie shouldn’t have given into desire.
He was broken, and the brunette beauty from his past was to blame. Valerie couldn’t say for sure, but chances were the beauty found her mate and left him.
Val couldn’t let that happen to her, couldn’t fall for a man she’d never have fully, completely.
Why hadn’t she seen the memory until now? And why now after she’d tasted him, experienced true desire for the first time in her life?
Tears fell, marring her face. She didn’t know why she cried. For him, having lost his love? For herself never having felt anything as profound?
“What’s wrong?” Jacob now stood a few feet from her.
Damn her, but he sounded so concerned she almost told him. When he reached for her again, she flinched and wiped her face.
Meeting his gaze dead on, she said, “Stay away from me, Jacob.”
His eyes darkened. “We’re back to that?” Jaw clenched, he took a breath. “I thought we were good. I thought…” He fisted his hands. “What’s changed?”
Nothing. Her gaze slid away, plotting her escape.
“Don’t even think about it. Tell me what I said this time.”
Nothing she could say. Valerie wasn’t about to admit what she’d seen, and as much as she hated admitting it, the kiss wasn’t his fault. She’d kissed him, twice, disregarding her gift’s warning.
“It’s not you. It’s me.”
“That’s cliché, and I don’t believe it.”
“It’s the truth. You didn’t do anything. From the beginning, you’ve been honest.”
His eyes flared, but he didn’t project his anger. “Don’t patronize me. Tell me what I did.”
“I’m not—”
He took a menacing step in her direction. “Don’t tell me you’re not upset. I sense it.”
“I’m upset, but it’s not your fault. It’s mine, so nothing you should worry about.”
“I’ll worry about it, and it
is
my fault if it was something I did or said.” He took several deep breaths. His eyes softened, pleaded. “Please, don’t…Tell me what I did, and I’ll fix it.”
Something about the way he said it and the look in his dark eyes tore at her. “You can’t change the way you are any more than I can change the way I feel,” she whispered.
The truth, yet it hurt to say it aloud. He couldn’t change after centuries. A warrior, raising a child and quite possibly still in love with the brunette demoness who broke his heart. Val desired him. He had it in him to give her what she needed, but she couldn’t stand to lose more. Besides, he clearly regretted kissing her. And her gift warned her. It spelled disaster for her.
“I can change. I can. I will. I—”
Powerless to hold his stare, she looked away. “Our relationship needs to remain professional. If that’s a problem, then I shouldn’t watch Annie.”
“No!”
She spared a glance in his direction.
His eyes holding fear, he ran his hands through his hair. Then after a moment, he agreed. “You have my word. I won’t break it.”
Chapter 17
Jaw clenched, Jacob watched Valerie walk away, fighting the need to chase after her, yet knowing he had no choice. She feared him. Even while he kissed her, he sensed it. If he told her the truth, she could run, and he couldn’t have that.
His body pulsed, the ache to hold her numbing. Fisting his hands, he fought his urges. To feel the soft press of her lips against his, his palm against her flesh, her body encased in his…
He’d held her, kissed her, trailing his hands over the soft flesh under her shirt. The taste of her forever seared in his mind. He felt her desire, her need, yet in a split second, after he drew away, that desire faded, fast. He saw it,
felt
it. Need replaced with despair and a deeper fear.
She regretted it, no doubt. Her fear of him too strong. She hadn’t regretted it one bit when his mouth pressed against hers. That fear had been there, smaller but there. Still, it had been wonderful, and it was
meant
to be.
He should’ve never stopped. He should have enjoyed it longer, let her, too. Maybe then, she wouldn’t regret it. Maybe then, she would’ve let go enough that fear faded for good.
If only he’d never pulled away…At the time, he thought he’d done the right thing. He just wanted to hold her until the misery of watching another man kiss her faded. She kissed him, but too soon, she pulled away. Overwhelming, consuming desire coursing through him, he’d done the right thing, he
held
back. Knowing she feared him still, sensing it, he begged for another kiss instead of taking it, even knowing she wanted him. He then forced himself to kiss her as tenderly as she deserved. While he kissed her neck, his fangs sprang from his gums, his demon demanding he mark her, claiming her as his. He couldn’t mark her, not before telling her she belonged to him, not before he erased her fear, so he drew away, putting distance between them, fighting temptation.
He’d known his fangs would spring out for the first time in her presence. Demons didn’t get them until the need to mark their mates presented itself. Still, he’d been shocked. His sole concern for her, he pulled away. Look what it had gotten him.
So what was it? What had he done? He pleaded with her to tell him, knowing he would do the impossible, the inconceivable, anything and everything to keep her. But she left just the same.
Unbearable pain compounding in his chest, his thoughts scattered. Then one prevailed: she should’ve stabbed him instead. It would’ve been less painful.
****
Jacob emptied the dishwasher, setting the plates in the proper cabinets. He tried to keep himself busy while he waited for Valerie.
“Valerie’s coming tonight, right?”
“Yeah, she is.”
Annie looked down at her doll and whispered, “She’s yours.”
His breath froze in his lungs. In that instant, he made a decision, one he hoped he wouldn’t regret. Turning toward her, he admitted, “Yes, pupa.”
“I’m sorry, Uncle—”
Shaking his head, he neared and kneeled in front of her. “You shouldn’t have seen that. You’re too young, Annie. I’m sorry you did. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you from that.
“Annie…” What could he say? What would her mother have said? His sister wouldn’t lose control. She would’ve been better, exactly what Annie deserved—better than him. “I’m so sorry…I—”
“It’s okay, Uncle Jake. I don’t blame you.”
Because he couldn’t help himself, he defended his mate. “Don’t blame Val. She doesn’t know. I haven’t told her.”
She tilted her head. “When will you?”
He wasn’t sure. His plan remained to befriend her, then romance her. Where he stood at the moment, it would be harder and take longer than he’d thought. He couldn’t explain any of it to Annie though. “It’s complicated.”
“Is it? All you have to do is tell her.”
Kids, he learned, could simplify the most complicated situations. He smiled. “Don’t think you’ll ever understand. As a woman, you won’t know until your mate tells you. He’d understand.”
Her eyes widened. “Uncle Jake, what if it’s not someone I like?”
It hit home. “You will. The moment you see him you’ll be captivated.”
“Captivated?”
“Yep. You know instantly. It’s like…finding something that belongs to you, but you didn’t know it. When you look at him, you’ll realize why you were born. No one is more important, more treasured. You’ll want to be around him all the time. I know that’s how your mommy felt with your dad.”
“Did she tell you?”
“She did. She loved your daddy very much. And they loved you more. You know why?”
Her eyes watered. She shook her head.
“They loved you because all the love they had for one another created you, Annie, a beautiful little replica of your mom.”
Her tears spilled down her cheeks. “I miss them, Uncle Jake.”
He pulled her in an embrace, nestling her small body against his chest. “I know, pupa. I miss them, too. Missing them is only a reminder of how much they loved us and of how much we love them.”
“It is?”
He rubbed her tear-streaked cheeks. “Yes.”
The elevator ascended. He held his breath, waiting for the doors to part and for her scent to torture his existence.
“Be good like you always are while I’m gone, okay?”
She smiled. “I promise.”
He kissed the top of her head, stood, turned, and caught Valerie’s gaze.
“Hi.”
There it was…fear. The fear that never faded. “Hey.” He looked away from her. “There’re leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry. She’s eaten and showered. I’ll see you when I get back.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but he didn’t let her. “Don’t worry, I’ll wake you.”
He kneeled again and hugged Annie. “Goodnight, pupa.”
“Will you be safe?” Annie whispered.
“I have you to live for, pupa. I’ll be safe.”
“You p-promise?” Her voice broke.
It shredded him. He hid it the best he could before he said, “I promise. I love you, Annie. Nothing will stop me from coming home, you understand?”
She nodded.
****
No one would’ve ever guessed just hours ago Jake had kissed her so passionately. Nope, never guessed it, especially the way he acted and spoke to her. Professional, yes. Valerie wanted that. He gave her his word and kept it.
Unfeeling and detached, he barely even looked her way. It hurt, hurt bad enough she wasn’t sure how she continued to stand, staring at where he once stood. She must’ve made a mistake. Had to have been because mistakes hurt and she
hurt
.
She shook her head. No, that couldn’t be right. It didn’t make any sense. She couldn’t get involved, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why. She worked for him. If they didn’t work out, the person who’d hurt the most would be Annie. She feared falling for a man who wasn’t meant for her, and she couldn’t forget her gift warned her away.
But then why did it feel like a mistake? Why did she hurt? And how did he have the power to make her feel that way?
Sometimes decisions felt wrong but were actually right. That had to be it. Maybe she just felt that way because she tried to rationalize something that couldn’t be.
Yes, a kiss with Jake was better than she imagined, better than anything she’d ever felt before, but it didn’t make it right. He was a warrior, plain and simple. And she was a woman who feared falling for a man who wasn’t hers. It would hurt much more, so much more if she allowed herself to give in, giving him a chance to break her heart. Having lost so much already, she couldn’t bear to lose more.
Still her heart strings tugged at her, the impulse to soothe the ache she’d seen when he promised to return home to Annie. He was all Annie had left.
“Valerie?” Annie asked. “Are you okay?”
She nodded and plastered a fake smile.
“Uncle Jake’s sad…I don’t like when he’s sad.”
“He loves you very much, Annie.”
“I know. I feel it, but I feel him sad, too. I wish I could fix it for him.”
Annie, such a beautiful, sweet girl. Folding her hands into each other, Valerie smiled. “We all feel sad sometimes. It passes.”
“Why do you get sad?”
She closed the distance between them and crouched to her eye level. “I…I lost some people I loved.”
“Like family?”
She nodded.
“I did, too. My mommy and daddy. Then Uncle Jake came for me like Mommy said, but I miss her and Daddy.”
She hugged Annie.
“I miss them…” Annie’s voice quivered.