Falling Fast (Falling Fast #1) (12 page)

He stopped, leaving his hand on her hip. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, it’s my…you can feel it, can’t you? The rough surface.” All along her side, where the skin should be the softest and smoothest, it was damaged the most.

As though her question was an invitation, he started moving over her skin again. Exploring. His fingers traced over the ridges and bumps, light as the current. “A little.”

“A lot.”

“No, really, a little. I didn’t even notice it until you said something.”

She put her hand to her side, their fingers brushing, and stroked the skin to get a sense of what he felt. Bumps. Horrible, ridged bumps. “You’re lying.”

“I would never lie to you.” He sounded so sincere. To prove that he wasn’t repulsed, he kept stroking her skin. “It just feels good to touch you. I don’t care about a little texture.”

A little texture. That’s what he called it, and it didn’t sound quite so bad. She released a breath, and with it her doubts and fears. “All right. I believe you.”

“Thank God. I won’t have you doubting my integrity.” She could hear the smile in his voice, despite the terse statement.

“I don’t.” She made tiny circles in the wet hair at the base of his neck. “Forgive me?”

“Entirely.” He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss, a seal of forgiveness.

“Is this what we would have done if we’d skinny-dipped all those years ago? Found ourselves in this, uh, interesting position?”

“Undoubtedly.”

“What would we have done about it?”

“I would have done this.” He stroked her upper back all the way down to her bare ass.

“And I would have done this.” She kissed him, parting her lips and inviting him in. She loved the soft groan he made when their tongues touched, flirted, then danced.

He kept stroking, his pressure increasing, as though he thought she might float away. Or because he couldn’t get enough of her.

That was how she felt. She drove her fingers through his hair now, her breasts flattened against his chest, nipples scraping against his. The tip of him pressed hard against her, and the memory of how he felt inside her shot lava-hot heat straight through her.

He gathered a fistful of her hair in his hands and murmured, “God, Mia, I’ve dreamed of this. Of you. Then I’d wake up and reality would hit. You know how you feel when you’re beyond hungry? When it feels like your stomach is caving in on itself? That’s how I felt.” He kissed along her jawline. “I keep thinking this is a dream, too, you being in town. Here.” He nibbled her earlobe, then down her neck beneath it, making her shiver.

“I’m real, Raleigh. This is real.”

He captured her mouth again, hungrily, completely. They swayed amid the movement of the waves, and he repositioned his legs to stabilize them. Her heels, crossed at his lower back, brushed the top of his firm ass. His body had been such a wonder to her. His ease in his nakedness during their stolen moments at his trailer. When they’d made love under the stars beside it. He’d been male perfection, and totally amazing to a girl who’d never seen a naked male in person.

But she’d come to realize that her amazement had little to do with the novelty and everything to do with her feelings for Raleigh.

Nothing had changed there. His combination of gentleness and ardor, the way he kissed her senseless—all heavenly. And it was so very tempting to go further.

Safe. Good. Right. Safe. Good. Right.

She broke the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her cheek against his collarbone. “Have to…catch my breath.”

He chuckled, running his hands down her back. “I hear you.”

Being here with Raleigh was like driving on the track. Exciting. Thrilling. And slightly dangerous.

“You all right?” he asked.

“You promised you’d keep me from spinning out of control.”

He leaned back and ran his fingers down her face. “Hard to be responsible when you’re out of control yourself.”

“Why is it like this with us, Raleigh? Everything moves so fast, and when I’m flying I don’t even care. Or is it just me? Maybe because of my inexperience.”

He rubbed his thumb over her lower lip. “It’s not just you. No one I’ve ever been with made me feel like I did with you. That first time I saw you in the garage when you came to pick up your mother’s car, there was an amazing attraction—and the warning lights flashing. Buzzers. Stop signs. I knew you didn’t belong with someone like me. And I could tell you were innocent. But I invited you to watch the races anyway. When you said you wanted to come, my heart didn’t care at all that the lights and sirens were going off again. Or that I was corrupting you. Whatever it is, it’s still strong. And the sirens are, too.”

She let out a sigh, knowing he was right. They were racing on that road, heading toward a different kind of destruction. Heartache. More internal scars. “Thank you for letting me feel this again.”

“I would do anything for you, Mia. Whatever the price.”

Even though she couldn’t read his expression, she knew he meant those words. They settled soft and warm in her heart until her mind got in the way. “Because you feel guilty over what happened? Because you think you owe me something?” She waited breathlessly for his answer, his thumb slowly caressing her lower lip as he considered.

“Because I love you.”

She inhaled the depth of his statement. “Raleigh, I—”

He pressed his fingers over her mouth. “Don’t say anything. I shouldn’t have said that, but it’s the only answer I have. Whether you feel it or not, it doesn’t matter. We’re two people destined to dance for a song or two before we move on. So we’ll have whatever kind of dance you want. Slow and chaste. Fast and hot. But think carefully before you choose, because we’ll have to pick up the pieces when it’s over.”

Voices carried over the wind, and he turned toward the beach. Barely visible in the moonlight, a couple walked hand in hand, their words and laughter garbled on the wind. Summer lovers? Or a committed couple?

She wrapped her arms around him, closed her eyes, and absorbed his confession: Raleigh loved her. But he wouldn’t even let her tell him how she felt. He carried so much. Guilt.
Responsibility.
Loyalty. And a deep-seated conviction that he wasn’t good enough for her. She worried that his guilt was the heaviest of all of them, and she wasn’t sure he would ever overcome that.

When she shivered, he said, “We should go in.”

She slid down, her legs brushing his on their way to the sand floor. His erection was hard and slick against her skin. Damn but she wanted him, as much as he wanted her. He steadied her before releasing her to the movements of the waves.

He guided her toward shore with his hand on her back, and she almost wanted to lose her footing so he’d anchor her with his arm. But asking him to let her relive her past wasn’t fair to Raleigh; she could see that now. Letting him go, moving on to her new job…that didn’t feel fair to her. And she wasn’t sure what to do about it.

Raleigh woke to the sun kissing his face. He squinted as he opened his eyes, and it wasn’t the sun or the sky that he saw. It was Mia, with her knees pulled up, her arms wrapped around them. Watching him, and looking a bit chagrined at being caught.

He pulled himself to a sitting position on the chaise lounge. “Were you watching me sleep?”

“Oh, my God, it sounds so…sappy when you say it like that. But, yeah, I was. I woke up at first light, and you were the first thing I saw.” She gestured toward the couch where she’d slept. “I mean, because of the way I was lying. I realized we never got to wake up together during those stolen nights we had. I hated that alarm.”

He rubbed at the center of his chest, where her words burrowed in. “Me, too. I threw out the alarm clock. That beeping always meant the end of our time together.”

She was already made up, her hair brushed, dressed in a loose cotton top that covered her scars. Obviously still not ready to reveal herself to him. “I started breakfast. Figured you’d be hungry.”

He couldn’t help thinking how cozy this was. How close they’d come to making love and waking up tangled in each other the way they had years earlier. “Starved.” He pushed to his feet and made sure he hadn’t kicked off the loose pants in which he’d slept.

“Me, too.” Her gaze slid down over his bare chest to where the waistband rode so low that his hip bones were showing.

He hitched them up. “I’ll help.”

“That would be great.” She led the way into the cottage, the windows opened to air it out. The scent of bacon overrode any lingering paint fumes and made his stomach growl. Breakfast was usually a hard-boiled egg on the run. Now he and Mia would be cooking together, then sitting across from each other. Like that normal couple that they could never be.

He’d told her he loved her. The memory slammed him as he watched her cute ass sway back and forth on her way to the kitchen. He hadn’t meant to; he’d simply had no other reason for saying that he’d give her everything. He could tell that she was afraid he’d made the offer out of pity, and he couldn’t have her thinking that. Pity wasn’t even on the list of what he felt for her.

The silence was heavy as they stood side by side at the stove. Things he wanted to say, things he didn’t want to say, all crowded into his head. She was here for only another few days. Could they handle being close without giving in? Part ways with that closure they both claimed they wanted and not a big fat heartache to go with it?

After they set the food on the plates, and she poured glasses of orange juice, they took everything out to the deck.

She watched a flock of seagulls shift out of the way of a woman walking down the beach, like Moses parting the sea. “This is such an amazing place. I’m going to miss it.” Her gaze slid to him.

He could only nod, the missing of it and everything it meant lodging in his throat like a ball.

He mopped up the last bit of yolk with the last bite of toast. “I’ll be back around five-thirty. What are you going to do today?”

“Clean out the kitchen cabinets and the pantry. Tackle the closets.” She shrugged. “Maybe I’ll take a walk on the beach.”

“You should. I better get to work.”

It struck him how much they felt like a couple. Waking up together. Having breakfast. As he brushed his teeth and pulled on his uniform, he imagined her giving him a kiss goodbye at the door. A kiss hello when he returned, because he was already counting down the hours until he saw her again.

She did walk to the door with him, leaning against the frame as he stepped out onto the porch. “Have a good day.”

He turned once he was safely down the steps, and the sight of her punched him in the chest. “You, too,” he managed, clearing the hoarseness from his throat. “Call if you need me to bring anything home.”

Home. He’d never had a home, really. He and his dad had gone from place to place, until either the landlord kicked them out or the current lady “friend” reached the point of disgust at her lazy guest and his unwanted kid. His Airstream had been the first real home he’d had, and now his cabin. But mostly it was Mia, waving as he reached the car, that made him long for what home really was. Not a place. Not four walls and a small yard. Her.

“Get it together, man,” he told himself as he pulled away. “Just like that summer, this is only an interlude. A dream. And dreams always end.”

At Pete’s somber expression, the words echoed again in Raleigh’s mind. He knew what his boss was going to say before the words came out.

“They made an offer. Cash, closing in a month. No contingencies. They want an answer within two days.”

Raleigh swallowed hard, his chest heavy. “Okay.”

“They want to tear it down, build a three-story office building. How long do you think it’ll take to sell the cottage?” Pete asked.

So the garage wouldn’t exist anymore. No garage, no place for him to work. “It’s hard to say. We’ll have it ready to list by next week. That’s as definite as I can get.”

“This kills me, Raleigh.” Pete sighed. “My wife, she’s—”

“I know. She’s anxious to leave town.”

“I’ve been promising her for a long time. Putting it off, hoping you could get enough money to put down.”

“You’ve been putting off selling this place for me?”

“Yeah. You’re kinda like the son I never had. I liked the idea of you taking over. But…” He shrugged.

Raleigh put his hand on the man’s thick shoulder, touched by his sentiment. He’d had no idea Peter felt that way. “I always saw you as a father, too. I appreciate you waiting, but it’s all right. I understand.”

The loss wasn’t only the prospect of buying the garage he’d been working in for so long. He was losing Peter, too. Raleigh wasn’t about to lay that on him, though. The man clearly harbored enough guilt and angst.

“I’ll wait a day or two. Talk to the Realtor, see if he has anyone on the line for your cottage. Someone looking for just what you have. It could happen.”

“I’ll do that.”

“I excluded all the equipment, though. Some of it’s yours, but I figure they won’t need it anyway. It’ll all be yours. The lifts, equipment, and stock parts. No charge.”

“Is that out of guilt?”

“No. Well, maybe a little. But mostly it’s out of friendship, Raleigh. I’ll get enough out of this place. You keep the equipment.”

“Thanks.”

The day dragged, while Raleigh’s head spun. He would have to line up a work space fast so he could roll right into his next job. Some of his customers wouldn’t care if they had to drive twenty miles out of town to what was basically someone’s yard to drop off their car. Like the young guns who scraped together every penny for a homemade EFI. But the high-caliber clients Raleigh was now courting, they weren’t going to like it one bit. He wanted—no, needed—the respect of being seen as a professional. A guy working on cars beneath a lean-to outside his two-by-four cabin wasn’t it.

He skipped lunch so that he could leave an hour early. Pulling up to the cottage at the end of the day felt like coming home. He knocked and announced himself before opening the door.

“You’re early,” she said with a grin, standing on the step stool in the kitchen. The counter was covered with boxes and spice jars. Her smile faded. “What’s wrong?”

He could have sworn he’d pasted a smile over the frown in his soul. “Peter has an offer on the garage.”

She came down, her expression filled with empathy. “Can’t he wait until we sell?”

“His wife has been bugging him to sell for years. I just found out he’s been putting her off until I could buy it.”

“That’s so sweet of him.”

“I know. But his wife isn’t going to let him lose the deal. I have two days.”

“Two days? We won’t even have it ready to list by then.” She came close and slid her arms around him, her body pressed against his. “I’m sorry.”

Her comfort nearly broke him. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had held him, soothed his pain. And that it was Mia…

He wrapped his arms around her and held on as he gathered his emotions and stuffed them down where they belonged. “It’s just a building,” he managed after a moment.

She backed away, leaving her hands on his waist. “That’s not true. It’s
your
building. Your refuge, I imagine. The place where you rebuilt your reputation.”

“Are you trying to make me feel better? Or worse?”

“Sorry. I just don’t want you to deny the loss. You’re heartbroken. I can tell.” She touched his face, bringing the scent of soap with it. “But there’s a silver lining, you know. Now you can pursue your performance-car business full-time. You’ve paid your debt of loyalty to Peter.” She smiled. “You’re free.”

“How did—”

“I know how much you love working on your own clients’ cars. The fact that you’ve stayed with Peter all these years instead of striking out on your own, and the kind of man you are, it wasn’t hard to figure out.”

“I never saw it as a debt, but, yeah, I did owe him for giving me my job back. I guess I am free.” Once he pulled his head out of the dark cloud, he saw that she was right. He wasn’t out of a job; he could now do what he wanted full-time. Relying on that, well, he hoped there would be enough work. There were always the regulars who’d been bringing their cars to him all these years. Then her other words registered. “What do you mean, the kind of man I am?” With a soft, earnest expression, she opened her mouth to say something he was sure would break him. “Never mind. We should get to work,” he said. “And figure out who we want to list this place with. Any preferences?”

She released a breath, and with it those unspoken words. “I don’t know any real- estate agents here. Do you?”

“I know a couple. I’ll make some calls and get someone out tomorrow.” He walked into the kitchen and began removing things from the top shelf so she wouldn’t need the step stool.

She took them from him and tossed them into one of the empty boxes. “I walked on the beach for over two hours today.”

“Good for you.”

“It gave me a lot of time to think. Good and not so good.”

He didn’t want to know what she’d been thinking about. “You’re probably worn out.”

“I took a nap when I came back. On your chaise lounge. Now I know why you like it so much. It’s soft and cushy.”

Something stirred at the thought of her lying where he had spent the night. “Is it more comfortable than the couch? We can switch tonight, if you’re sleeping on the deck again.”

“No, the couch is fine, and, yes, I think I will. I liked sleeping out in the fresh air. Under the stars.”
With you.
That’s what her eyes said, even if her mouth didn’t.

“I do that a lot in the fall, when it starts to cool down at night. I get the best sleep.”

“I remember your field of grass, running through it the way I’d seen in a movie once. It was liberating. Free.”

“Like skinny-dipping?”

Her cheek on the undamaged side of her face flushed. “Yeah, well. I guess I was caught up in a moment of crazy.”

Good. Her considering it crazy meant that she wouldn’t suggest doing it again. Holding her naked in his arms—that was a lot different from what holding her a few minutes ago had been.

They were staring at each other, caught in a spell. He cleared his throat. “We should probably—”

“Yeah, finish this up. Especially if a real-estate agent might be coming tomorrow.”

They cleared out everything they wouldn’t need in the next couple of days. The pantry was next, the two of them working in the small space, checking for expiration dates to determine whether to keep it or toss it.

She handed him a can of peanuts. “Here, why don’t you take this for yourself? It hasn’t even been opened. In fact, take anything you want.”

Raleigh had always been keenly aware of charity, but he saw only warmth in Mia’s eyes. “We could give anything usable to Rose.”

“Good idea. I don’t want food going to waste.” She moved right on in her task, handing him an opened box of pasta. “Grandma was trying mung-bean pasta. Seems she didn’t like it, since it’s long past the expiration date. She always detested throwing out ‘perfectly good food.’ ” This said with finger quotes.

Raleigh laughed. “She was always trying to foist stuff off on me. This included. Green pasta? I passed.”

They both sank into silence for a few moments, and he wondered if Mia was thinking about the feisty lady, too.

“Did you know Nancy fell madly in love with a bad boy when she was sixteen?” Mia asked, confirming his suspicion. But the question, that was a surprise.

“No. She didn’t talk about her past much, other than in general ways. Foods she liked as a kid, dancing to big bands, that sort of thing.”

“It was in the letter she left for me. She said he rode a motorcycle, smoked, and drank. Of course, her parents forbade her to see him, but she and James sneaked off anyway.” The look she gave him said,
Sound familiar?
“She saw the good in him, even though he’d been in trouble. She saw a boy who needed love, and who deserved it.” There was that look again.

His fingers curled over the frame of the door opening. “What happened?”

“She got pregnant. Gave up the baby. He went to jail for statutory rape. She never saw the baby or James. And she regretted not trying to find him earlier. By the time she finally did search for him, he was dead.” Mia set a canister of oatmeal back on the shelf and stepped closer. “You reminded her of James. The good parts.”

“Hopefully, I brought her some good memories.”

She brushed a lock of his hair from his forehead. “You did. And she saw her and James in us. The way they loved each other. She watched us making a sandcastle and saw something special. It’s still there, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but—”

“I love you, too, Raleigh. You can’t stop me from saying it this time. I have loved you all these years. Maybe it was buried for a while, by time and circumstances, but the moment I saw you at the memorial service it came right back.” She drew her hands down the side of his neck, her fingers at his pulse point. “I don’t want to live my life in regrets. I never regretted loving you. Or even racing with you. I don’t regret skinny-dipping last night. But if I don’t do this I will regret it.” She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him.