Falling Fast (Falling Fast #1) (11 page)

He’d said that, hadn’t he? Committed, and you didn’t uncommit when you made a promise to a kid. “You will.” He tilted the seat forward, and Cody scrambled out, somewhat mollified.

Raleigh dropped into a passenger seat in which he’d never sat.

She wrapped her fingers around the wheel, her right hand over the shifter, and took a deep breath. “All those years ago, I wanted to drive your car so bad. Not in a race, but just drive.”

“You should have asked.”

“I wasn’t ready. I was already moving so fast.” She gave him a meaningful look. Sneaking out. Participating in street racing. Making love. Yeah, she’d moved damned fast for a girl just testing out the world. “It was enough to be in the passenger seat.”

She faced ahead, a picture of total concentration, and shifted into drive. Before long, they were approaching the turn.

“Ease up on the gas as you start into the turn. Then increase the speed midway and gun it coming out.”

“Wow. There’s so much power.”

“Open her up.”

She slowed down instead. “I’m afraid if I go over the line I won’t be able to pull back.”

“I’ll make sure you don’t fly off.” But only if he could keep himself from spinning out of control.

She faced the stretch of track ahead, her lower lip pulled between her teeth. Took another deep breath. And let the car fly. He watched her complete focus, the wind whipping her hair around. The racer’s high lit her eyes, breaking her out into a wild grin. She let out a whoop as they topped ninety, probably without any idea how fast she was going. The needle inched higher. Higher.

That’s when he saw the panic set in. Her face morphed into a mask of fear.

“Talk to me,” Raleigh said.

“I just had a flashback. The crash. Well, right before it.”

“Slow down. Ease through the gears. You’re fine.”

She nodded jerkily, her chest rising in rapid puffs. “All of a sudden it was dark, there was a crowd alongside the road, and I could see Cassidy’s car moving closer. Closer.”

“Nobody else is here.” He stroked her arm now, bringing her back. “Breathe deep.”

“I’m good now.” She came to a stop, but her face was pale. “That was crazy. I went from feeling fantastic to fearful in…well, zero to sixty seconds, as you might say.” She covered his hand with her left one. “Thanks for talking me down.”

“I knew you’d get it under control. You want to head back?”

She took another deep breath. “If it’s all right with you, I want to do it again. I felt the fear and the joy of doing something meaningful. The fear won that time. I want the joy to win this time.”

God, the way she was looking at him…“Go for it.”

That was exactly how he felt, being with her again. Joy and fear.

She let the car fly. Determination set her jaw tight. As she made the turn, the high took over again. She smiled, relaxed her shoulders and jaw. Sank into the experience. And she was beautiful, even with the scarred part of her face in view. As she hit ninety again, she let out another whoop and maintained speed until the finish line came into view.

“I get it,” she said. “I totally get why you raced. I mean, it was thrilling to be in the passenger seat, but I think a lot of that was being with
you
in the car. But driving is a different thrill. The adrenaline. The wind. The engine. Everything.” She smiled. “And you in the car, too.”

Dammit. That’s when Raleigh knew he still loved her. Loved the way she embraced life, conquered her fears. And that smile she’d shot him…hell. He was falling fast all over again, with the brakes nowhere in sight.

Mia kept the glow of driving Raleigh’s car into the next several hours of labor as they painted the back two rooms. He let her drive to the hardware store to buy replacement baseboards and more painting supplies. It was safer to think that it was Raleigh trusting her with his baby that gave her the thrill.

What’s really giving you that thrill is just Raleigh.

Being with him was like racing on that track. Going fast. An element of risk. Of doing something she knew she probably shouldn’t.

By the time they’d eaten buffalo wings out on the deck, she was on overload from her feelings and the work.

“Let’s play Frisbee!” Cody said, racing off the deck, launching himself into the air before landing hard on the sand.

She wished she’d captured that moment of midair, his arms and legs akimbo, on film. She’d been so distracted that she hadn’t thought about taking pictures.

Raleigh stood. “You coming?”

“You go. I like watching.”

She put the “extra” wings in the fridge for Rose and grabbed her phone. There was a missed call from her mother, but Mia wasn’t ready to check the voice mail. She leaned on the railing and took pictures of the two, the setting sun as backdrop.

Cody caught sight of her. “Hey, come on out!”

The need to play rumbled through her the way the ‘Cuda’s engine had.
Play. Live.
She kicked off her sandals and jumped off the top step of the deck.

Raleigh tossed the disk at her. “Let’s see what you got.”

She missed it, then tried to emulate how they’d been throwing it. Not very well.

Raleigh came up behind her. “I’ll show you.” He wrapped his arms around her from behind, bending her arm in toward her body, then shoving it out. “Let it go nice and smooth at the very end of your reach.”

She wanted to lean back against him and breathe him in, but she followed his instructions. The disk flopped to the ground. He snagged it and demonstrated a perfect throw, sending it right into Cody’s hand. Cody shot it back, and she jumped up to catch it. And missed again.

“Maybe I should just watch.”

Raleigh pressed it into her hand. “You can do it. It just takes practice.”

True to his word, she did get better. After a while, they formed a triangle and tried to outshoot one another. They laughed at one another’s misses, falls, and really bad shots. The sun, even lower on the horizon, warmed her face. The sand squished between her toes. She felt alive. Carefree. Vibrant. For the first time since…

Since that magical summer. And, just like that summer, every time her and Raleigh’s gazes met, her stomach took a tumble. Or maybe it was her heart.

“Come on, kiddo,” Rose called from the deck, shading her eyes. “You got an early day tomorrow.”

“Can’t I…” Cody’s expression wilted. “Oh, yeah. I’m s’posed to help Mr. Scott with his fence.”

“Money in your pocket.” Rose shifted her gaze to Raleigh as they all came to the deck. “I hear George Morlen’s clearing his land for a horse barn and corrals. Does that affect where you live?”

“No, he’s not doing anything near my property.” Raleigh turned to Mia. “George is the man I bought the acre my cabin is on from. The one who let me use his Airstream.”

“Is that by the lake?” Rose asked. “He finally going to do something with that?”

“Not far from it,” Raleigh said. “But I don’t think he’s messing with the lake.”

Rose looked a little relieved. “Probably for the best. Lakes bring gators, and I’d sure hate to see someone lose an arm to one of the beasts. All right, see y’all later.”

A few minutes after Mia closed the door behind Rose and Cody, she said, “Oh! I forgot to give Rose the wings.” She grabbed the bag and ran out to catch Rose climbing into the old truck. “Here, we had extra.”

Rose looked surprised as she took the bag. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Mia lifted one shoulder. “We ended up buying more than we could eat.”

Rose opened her mouth but paused. Finally, she said, “You’re a good person. Like Raleigh.” Her eyes seemed to assess Mia. “Don’t break his heart, y’hear? I know you wouldn’t mean to, but it’s easy to let your heart blind your mind.”

“I…I won’t,” Mia stammered.

She started the engine. “Thanks for the wings.”

Mia walked back through the house, finding Raleigh on the deck staring at the Gulf. The sun was just disappearing below the horizon. The waves rolled in, washing up on the beach. As they receded, they were like fingers curling in, calling to her.

The sight of Raleigh did the same, his broad shoulders and strong back making her ache to come up behind him, slide her arms around his waist, and rest her cheek there. But Rose’s warning echoed. Getting involved
was
a bad idea. She had a job in Minneapolis. And while he could establish a business anywhere, he had Cody and Rose to watch over. Mia couldn’t hurt them by taking Raleigh away.

As if he would go.

So she stood beside him instead, curling her hands over the wood railing. “We made good headway. I think we should call it a day.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “You sending me off?”

“Yes. No.” She gave her head a shake. “I feel like I should. Being with you is like driving your car today. It makes me not care that we have no future together. It’s pushing me to beg you to stay here tonight. Not because I don’t want to be alone but because I want to be with you.”

She traced her fingers up and down his forearm, a safe part of his body. “Not
be
with you that way—I mean, I do want to be with you that way, but I don’t, because it will hurt too much when I have to leave. Oh, God, I’m rambling.”

He brought his hands to her face and gently stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. “I know what you mean. But I don’t want you to hurt because of me, Mia. Never again.”

She’d admitted to wanting him, and he said he knew what she meant. Did that mean he wanted her, too? Given what she saw in his eyes, she had to guess that he did. “Are we feeling this way because we want to relive those beautiful days? Or because we didn’t get to say goodbye properly?” she asked.

“Maybe both.”

“Maybe we need each other to heal the scars on the inside.”

He stepped closer, his thighs brushing hers. “How do we do that?”

We make love. We kiss and hold each other through the night the way we used to, and this time we don’t have to set an alarm to get me back before daybreak.
But she couldn’t say those words. Wasn’t sure that was the best way to heal without making new wounds.

“Stay with me. You can sleep on your chaise lounge.”

“Only if you show me your face.” His fingers skittered across her skin. “Without the makeup.”

“Why? You’re not going to use it to beat yourself up, are you?”

“No. I’m sure I’ve made it worse than it is in my head. I just need to see it. For my own closure.” He ran his hands down her arms. “Your face, your shoulder, arm. I don’t want you to hide it from me.”

She had been hiding it from him, wearing clothes that strategically covered the scars. It was a small price to pay. She nodded. “But not yet. Before I leave, though. Promise.”

“I can wait.” He took her in for another second, and she saw the same spark in his eyes he’d had when he kissed her. But life had obviously taught him to hold back, and he did just that. “I brought a bag with a change of clothes.” He started walking into the house.

“You mean you were planning on staying? I didn’t even have to ask? Or bargain?”

He shot her a sly smile. “It was a backup. Just in case.”

She leaned against the railing, watching him disappear into the shadows of the house. Asking him to stay was begging for trouble. For temptation. Especially given the hunger rumbling through her stomach like that V-8 engine of his.

A few minutes later, he dropped a duffel bag just inside the back door and came out to the deck. “The house is full of paint fumes.”

“I noticed that when I ran inside to grab the wings.”

“Both bedrooms have fumes, too. I figured that might be the case, and that’s why I brought my stuff. I didn’t want you sleeping out here alone.” He tipped his chin toward the beach, which was now nearly dark. “Never know what might come out of the night.”

She hadn’t thought about that. “Like serial killers?”

“Maybe.”

“Pirates?”

He maintained his serious expression. “Likely.”

“Is that the only reason you considered staying? To keep me safe?”

After a moment of hesitation, he said, “No.”

She knew he’d wanted to say yes but didn’t point it out. Too much relief suffused her that he would stay. “Thank you.”

“It’s not entirely unselfish.”

He was leaning back against the railing, his hands wrapped over the flat board. The breeze toyed with his short hair, and, behind him, the waves beckoned in the dark. She moved a step closer, closer, until she was only a foot away.

“We both have scars, inside and out,” she said. “Life took us from sixty to zero, and we never got to say goodbye. Or keep in touch.” She traced her fingers down his arms, feeling him shiver. “I was burned, but you were hurt, too. I suffered through rehab, but you were prosecuted and went to jail.” Her fingertips slid up the soft skin of his inner forearm. “Rose said people gave you a hard time. I got sympathy, but you got derision. You suffered as much as I did, in your own way.” When he was about to refute that, she reached up and placed her hand on his face, her thumb resting against his soft lips. “I know how we can heal.”

“How?” His voice was hoarse, his body rigid.

She took a step back. “When you let me drive today, when you kissed me…it took me right back to those beautiful, idyllic days. You said we can’t go back, but what if we can? I want to be that girl again. I was cheated out of those last two weeks. We both were. I want them back. With you. Can we be those kids again?”

She didn’t give him time to wrestle with an answer. “Do you remember that night you asked if I wanted to skinny-dip? But I was weirded out by the black water and the fact that I couldn’t see anything. If I’ve learned one thing, it’s not to be afraid when there’s something you want. I spent a lot of time in the hospital regretting that I didn’t take you up on that offer. No more regrets, Raleigh. Not for me.” She pulled off her top and tossed it aside. “I’m going swimming.” Her bra went next, and she kicked off her sandals, slid out of her shorts and panties. Then she grabbed up the towels on the bench. “You coming?”

She ran off the top step, towel flying, arms and legs out as Cody had done earlier. Free. The sense of it, of adventure and a touch of recklessness, rushed through her. Her feet landed in the sand, and she ran toward that dark, rolling mass. She told herself it didn’t matter if Raleigh came or not, but her senses reached out behind her and sought confirmation of his presence. She dropped the towel and did a shallow dive into the water.

It was bathtub-warm and cocooned her body. As she burst to the surface, she searched for him through the water sluicing down over her eyes. Her heart jolted as she spotted the tall shadow advancing. His bare chest gleamed in the faint glow of stars and moonlight. He paused at the shoreline and shucked his pants. Her heart fluttered at his silhouette, wide at the chest and narrow at his hips. He took several steps into the surf and dived in with a graceful arc.

Vicci Martinez’s song “Come Along with Me” played in her mind. See what it was like to be free. She would ease his pain. She would seize the day. Or the night, as it were.

Raleigh must have seen her, because he came up only a couple of feet in front of her a few seconds later. He flicked his hair back and ran his hand over his face. “Does it live up to your expectations?”

“Yes.” Though, oddly, she felt a little nervous, being naked and so close to him. “It’s amazing.” Her feet sank into the sand. Water rushed over her breasts and between her legs, pushing forward, pulling back. She raised her arms out to her sides and fell back into the water, letting it engulf her.

Raleigh swam by, his body brushing hers. They both surfaced at the same time. She tasted the salt on her lips, felt it burn her eyes.

“No more jitters about not being able to see anything?” he asked.

“A little, but not enough to make me get out.” She was nervous about being here with him, too, but she was staying. “It feels good, the water flowing all around me. It probably reminds me of when I was a kid, swimming in the bathtub. Like I’m a mermaid.”

She dived again, loving the slight pull of the waves on her hair. When she came up, she could see the moon sparkling like shattered pieces of sunlight over the water. But she couldn’t touch, so she churned her legs and soaked in the view. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered when he came up beside her.

“Yes, you are.”

She turned, finding him looking at her and not at the glitter. “But you can’t see me. It’s too dark.”

“I know from memory.”

“Not anymore, Raleigh. I mean, not that I ever was, but now I’m even more—”

“You were beautiful then, and you’re beautiful now. It has nothing to do with your scars.”

Though she couldn’t see his eyes, she could see the planes of his face, water glistening on his lips. She could hear the sincerity of his words. “I’ve gone too deep.” It was the only thing she could think to say, and she didn’t mean the depth of the water.

“Here, hold on to me. I can touch.” He reached out for her.

She hesitated.

“I’ll be on my best behavior,” he said.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you.” Or that she wanted him to be on his best behavior, for that matter. He would feel her scarred skin, maybe all of it, which was as bad as seeing it.

“Nervous?”

“Not that, either.” Well, a little. She took his hand, though, and he hoisted her up, his hands on her hips.

Without thinking, she wrapped her legs around his waist and looped her arms around his neck. She hadn’t considered how intimately that motion would connect their bodies. It made her breath hitch. Made her heart pound. His hard abs, pressed against her most private part, sent heat spiraling through her core.

His hands skimmed the outside of her thighs, right over the mottled flesh. She flinched, shrinking away deep within herself.