Faith and Hope in Lancaster (The Amish of Lancaster County #1) (2 page)

Hannah felt vaguely unsettled but couldn’t figure out why. Shaking her head, she took the candle from Annie’s room and made her way back down the stairs, where Thomas waited for her.

Her husband motioned for her to join him on the couch. Hannah snuggled into his embrace and showed him the postcard. Thomas flipped it over, but the other side was blank. “Wife,” he said, sighing, “I know you’re as worried as I am, but we have to trust in God’s will to lead our Miriam to the right decision for her. I pray every day that she returns to us, but in the meantime, we have to trust.”

Hannah leaned her head against his shoulder. “I know, husband, I know. Tell me, what do you think of the match our Annie has made?”

“Stephen Lapp is an upstanding young man,” Thomas said cautiously. “But I know you well enough to know if you’re asking me this, you’re not so sure.”

Hannah had to smile. Thomas really did know her better than anyone after their wonderful years of marriage together. It hadn’t always been easy; there was the drought that nearby destroyed their farm, and the dangerous breech position Aaron had adopted to enter the world. And Thomas, an intensely private man by nature, had had to learn to truly express what he was thinking and feeling to his wife. But together, they’d weathered all those challenges, and now there was no one in the world Hannah trusted more.

“You caught me,” she said. “It’s not Stephen I’m worried about. It’s Annie and this postcard. Something tells me she’s rushing into this marriage, but I couldn’t put my finger on why.”

Thomas took his wife’s hand. “Even if that’s so, I think it’s for the best. Annie needs someone to ground her, someone with his feet steady on the earth. He’s an honorable soul with a kind heart and practical mindset. Do you truly see Annie making a better match?”

Hannah was stumped. “No,” she admitted finally. “I can’t. And I would be proud to call Stephen my son-in-law. I just hope . . . I want our Annie to be happy.”

“We all want that, my dear. But sometimes happiness must be grown into.”

Hannah nodded and stood. She certainly couldn’t disagree with that. “Do you think Miriam arrived safely?”

Thomas chuckled. “I’m sure she’s fine. Come, my beloved worrywart, let’s go to bed.”

* * *

Hours away in New York City, Miriam stood dazzled among the lights and noise of Penn Station. She was here! She was actually here! She’d arrived on the train just minutes before and itched to explore. Of course, she had her luggage with her, and of course she was supposed to meet her host family. But surely a quick stroll through the food court couldn’t hurt?

There were so many restaurants! So many people, none of them dressed like her. A few travelers gave her funny looks, but they quickly moved on. She didn’t care. The delicious scent of tomato soup wafted to her, and she realized how hungry she was.

Miriam examined the price list for the small soup. It wasn’t cheap, but this was the first thing she’d ever tasted that an
Englischer
had made. Bouncing up and down on her toes, she ordered the soup and crackers and paid the cashier. “First time out?” the man asked, smiling.

“Yes!” said Miriam, hoping she didn’t seem totally naïve.

The man held out her change and a chocolate bar. “On the house. Welcome to the Big Apple!”

Wow, are all Englischers so nice?
In a daze, Miriam thanked him and wandered back to the main open space to wait under the train schedule for her host family to find her. She crumbled her crackers into the soup and guzzled it with relish. It was delicious! She’d have to figure out what herbs and spices were in it, so she could make it again at home.

Home. She cut off that thought at the knees. New York was her home now, and she couldn’t afford to get homesick for Lancaster County.

Another thrill raced through her as a family approached, bearing a sign that said M
IRIAM
S
TOLTZFUS, HOST DAUGHTER
. This was it! She waved frantically. “Me! Me! I’m Miriam!”

The pretty woman giggled. “I had sort of guessed.” She gestured toward Miriam’s outfit. Abashed, Miriam blushed. “But I’m so happy to meet you!” the woman continued, sweeping Miriam into a hug. She smelled like strawberries. Miriam liked the sleek cut of her clothes.

“I’m David Roth,” the man said, “and this is my wife Pamela and our daughter Erin.” A small girl peeked shyly around Pamela’s leg. She looked like she wanted to say something but didn’t trust herself.

Miriam clapped her hands. The little girl was adorable, with light brown skin and dark, curly hair. “I like your barrettes,” she told the girl, who ducked her head and disappeared behind her mother’s leg.

David hefted Miriam’s luggage, two large bags filled with staid traditional clothing Miriam couldn’t wait to get rid of. She’d hoarded the money she’d made helping her mother sell their baked goods with the intention of buying a whole
Englischer
wardrobe, a cell phone, and a laptop computer. She didn’t really know much about those things, but Aaron had teased her with stories, and she was determined to have the full English teenage experience. “I’m sure you’re excited about your first subway ride,” said David, “but for now, I think we’ll catch a cab.”

Miriam didn’t know what that meant, but she was too embarrassed to tell him. Instead, she just followed her new family through the station and out the back to a huge street full of restaurants and shops. Concrete buildings everywhere! Miriam’s head whirled. It was starting to hurt from all the stimulation. There were just so many colors! They never had such intense colors like this back home. And all the lights! Lights everywhere, numbers flashing, so much electricity, and no one even seemed to notice. Speaking of people, she’d thought the inside of the station had been crowded, but that was nothing compared to the masses of bodies surrounding her now. Cars raced past, honking loudly, making her jump. People in body-baring clothes and business suits brushed past her, talking into handheld telephones or to no one at all. The smells of gasoline and different spices swirled around her, making her sick.

Her excitement faded, replaced by a sense of being too small in a world way too large for her. She hadn’t known it would be like this. If she were at home right now, she’d be having a late-evening snack with her family, listening to her
daed
tell stories, and then getting ready for bed. But now, she watched as David stepped out to the street and raised his hand. One of the many yellow cars zooming by roared to a stop, belching exhaust. Pamela shook her head in disgust. “Someone’s not following inspection laws.” She looked at Miriam for confirmation.

Miriam didn’t have the first clue what Pamela was talking about, but she forced a smile and a nod. She felt like a
simmi
, a sheltered, clueless child on her first
rumspringa
. Which was, she realized suddenly, exactly the case. Her cheeks reddened.

But David had already loaded her luggage into the trunk and opened the back door for her. “There you go, sweetie,” he said, smiling.

Miriam picked up her skirts and clambered into the car. It was outfitted in what looked like cracked black leather, and it smelled terrible, like sweet smoke and sweat. Miriam tried not to gag, especially when no one else seemed to bat an eyelash. She didn’t want to look like a country girl any more than she already did.

“Where to?” the driver asked, not bothering to turn around.

What a rude man
, Miriam thought.

David named an address that meant nothing to Miriam. She hoped it was the location of David’s house. She was tired and ready to retire for the night.

Next to her, Erin alternated between staring up at her and playing with a long, flat object. She noticed Miriam watching and held it out. “Like my iPad?”

What’s an iPad?
Then Miriam had an idea. “Why don’t you show me how it works?”

The little girl lit up and immediately began tapping at the surface. Drawings appeared, blond people and red cars with eyes and mouths talking to one another. Miriam leaned over and realized the object must be some kind of television or computer. She stared, fascinated, as the drawings moved. Cartoons, she realized. She’d heard about cartoons. Children liked those, but sometimes adults did, too.

“This is my favorite show,” Erin confided, leaning into Miriam’s side. “See her?” She pointed to a sparkly green horse with a long spiral horn. “She’s my
favorite
.”

Pamela turned around in her seat. “Oh, Erin adores unicorns,” she said, laughing. “Anything with a unicorn, and she’s guaranteed to love it.”

Miriam nodded uncertainly. Then something pressed her wrist, and she looked down to see a picture of the unicorn from the iPad stuck to her skin. “What’s this?” she asked, not sure if she should be worried.

“Oh, she gave you a sticker!” David exclaimed from Miriam’s other side, scaring her. She’d forgotten he was there. He nudged her in the ribs. “She must like you.”

Miriam eyed him nervously. Was it okay for strange men to touch her like that? No one would have taken that kind of liberty back home. She wanted to pray about it, but David was staring, waiting for a reaction.

Pamela caught her look. “David! You can’t do that! She’s not used to it.”
              David froze. “Oh, my God,” he babbled, “I’m so sorry. I totally forgot. This must all be so weird for you, and here I am, invading your personal space. Seriously, I’m so sorry.”

Miriam didn’t know what to do. She briefly considered opening the door and jumping out, but where would she go? Not to mention her luggage was still in the trunk. She laughed shakily. “It’s fine. I suppose you have as much to learn about me as I do about you.”

“Yes,” said David, relief spreading over his face. “We’ve all got a lot to learn. How fun is this going to be, huh?”

Erin held up her iPad. “Fun!”

Miriam sucked in a breath, then another. She wasn’t a
simmi
. She wasn’t. She wasn’t!

* * *

Hannah rose at daybreak, taking a moment to kneel and pray.
Dear God,
denki
for another day full of bounty and joy. I am having a hard time trusting, but I know part of my journey is to have faith and surrender to Your will. Please help me do that. I do know You have a plan for us, and my job is to let You lead me along the path I can’t see.

She stood, stretched, and quickly bathed before going to prepare breakfast for the family. Annie should be waking soon. Hannah collected the eggs her chickens had laid overnight, scattering feed and clucking to the birds. She felt at peace with the early morning sunlight gleaming off the dew-tipped leaves and tinting the air with gold. Everything felt fresh and new, full of hope.

As she bustled around her kitchen, the space warm and welcoming, she remembered Miriam Had her daughter arrived safely? This was one of the few times in her life Hannah found herself wishing for a telephone. Some people in the town had one, but it was always in conjunction with business, a way for the outside world to place orders or answer questions. No home contained one. It would be prideful, a way to stand above one’s neighbors instead of among them.

Still, Hannah longed to know that her youngest daughter was all right. She worried about Miriam, who was headstrong and thought she knew so much more about the world than she did. Hannah took a deep breath, reminding herself God was always in control, and all her worrying brought naught.

She finished cooking and realized Annie had never come down. Frowning, she hurried upstairs and knocked on Annie’s door. There was no answer. She opened the door and peeked inside. “Annie?”

The bed was empty.

Hannah’s eyes widened. Where could Annie have gone so early in the morning that Hannah hadn’t even seen her leaving?

Then she saw the folded piece of paper on Annie’s pillow. A note. She unfolded the note.

Dear Mamm,

Please don’t worry. I was so excited, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep. All I can think of is the fact that I’ll soon be married! Mother, I’ll be married, a wife, and soon a mother like you!

I know you’ll be worried when you find me missing, so I’m writing to let you know I’ve gone to visit my betrothed at his parents’ house. I’ll be back soon in time to help you with chores!

Yours,

Annie

Hannah sighed. She supposed she could understand. This had all happened so suddenly, even though the whole community had known Stephen had designs on Annie since they were small. It was only Annie who hadn’t known. Or hadn’t cared. Hannah wasn’t sure which.

Still, at least her daughter had made the right decision in the end.

Hadn’t she?

Hannah heard the sounds of Aaron and Thomas coming back in from tending to the horses. She shook her head to clear it of these worries. No one had told her being a mother was so fraught with cares, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Half an hour later, the family was finishing up their breakfast. “I know it’s not proper for Annie to disappear like this,” Hannah said, “but surely we can forgive her today. This is a huge event in her life.” She raised her eyebrows at Aaron. “You’ll understand when it’s your turn.”

Aaron made a face. “Maybe I don’t
want
to get married.”

Thomas whirled on him. “Don’t you sass your
mamm
like that. Ever since you’ve come back from your
rumspringa
, you’ve gotten a mouth on you. I don’t care so much if you talk like that to me, son, but you will never address your
mamm
like that, do you understand?”

Aaron winced and sat back in his chair. “I’m sorry. I just . . .”

“Yes?” Thomas asked.

“What if I—what if I want to, I don’t know, marry an
Englischer
?”

For Hannah, the world tilted at that moment. Aaron looked like he wished he could swallow the words back down, but it was too late. “Is this really what you want, my son?”

“I don’t know,” Aaron said. “Maybe?” He ran a hand through his tousled brown hair. Tears filled Hannah’s eyes at the sight. Her son, her handsome firstborn. The apple of her eye. What was happening to her family?