Face the Music (36 page)

Scenes from yesterday replayed in my head.  Jake pouting because of Chris.  Chris pissed off at me because of Jake.  What was with these
guys
?

Needing a distraction,
I went into my room, turned off the lights, and closed the blinds so that the room was
almost completely
dark. 
I sprawled
out across my bed
,
stuck in my earbuds
,
and turned the volume
up
real
loud
.

What was Chris really
mad
about
, anyway
?  The fact that I was friends
with Jake?
 
Or was he ticked off because he thought Jake and I were a thing?  As if that
was
any of his damn business.

W
h
o did he think he was
? 
I knew he was more exciting, better looking, and much more talented than I’d ever be, but
did
that gave him
the
rig
ht to
look down his nose at the rest of us?  Certainly not. 
Screw him.  He could live his glorious life and be perfectly happy, for all I cared.  I no longer wanted any part of it.  The last thing I needed was a jealous boyfriend, be it Chris or Jake.  There was no room in my life for that kind of drama.

But there was o
ne thing that kept bugging me. 
That
kiss. 
Why
did
he run
off
?  What did he have to apologize for?

Right on cue, a
thought came to
my
mind.  What if he had a girlfriend back in Virginia?  He never mentioned one
, and he certainly left the impression that he was single, but
it was possible.  There were other girls, Cynthia
,
for example,
who would do anything to be with him, but what if
there really was someone else?

He was quite the
catch, after all.

My stomach flipped at the idea. 
Surely
,
she was beautiful, sexy, and also
,
in some way
,
talented.  Why would he go for anything less? 

Why would he go for someone like me
? 

I ripped out the earphones and opened my laptop. 
In the search bar
I typed in: 
Chris Knots Girlfriend
. 
The computer was slow, and I bit the inside of my lower lip as I waited.

I squinted at the pictures on the screen. 
One woman appeared
more often than
the others. 
Alicia
Jenkins. 
She looked like the type of girl Chris would go for, not showy like Cynthia
,
but very pretty in an hone
st, pure way.

Everything suddenly became clear.
  I
t was the perfect explanation, made too much sense.  He was lonely, missing
her
, and in a moment of weakness he made a mistake and kissed me.  That’s what it was to him.  A mistake.  That’s why he acted so weird afterwards.

How could I have been so stupid?  I’d
wondered
all along
if
he was
only i
nterested in me because I hadn’t
throw
n
myself at him
like most other women
. 
But
maybe I was just the entertainment, something to play with while he was away from home.

Whatever the case, he’d worked me over real good.  He
made me drop my guard and let him in. 

He made me feel. 

The aching in my chest was only a sharp reminder of why I’d put the walls up in the first place.

I had to get over my infatuation.  I’d warned myself from the start to not get too serious.  He and I had become friends, yet still I’d secretly hoped for more.  Not anymore.  I was done.

***

Easter Sunday came and went.  Before Molly woke up, Emily and I stuffed candies into plastic eggs and hid them around the apartment.  Neither of
us suggested going to the zoo.

After Molly found and opened her treats, we w
orked in the kitchen for awhile.  We made
ham and mashed potatoes with green beans and sourdough rolls.  I even baked a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting.

I was interested t
o watch the show Monday night. 
The contestants all traveled home for the
holiday weekend, so
there wouldn’t be any live performances, but camera crews had been sent to the Stars’ homes to capture clips of their
everyday
lives.  I marveled at the invasion of privacy.

Even though I convinced myself that I would never be with Chris, I was still curious to see his world.  More specifically, I wanted to see
her
.  Emily had the night off, so the two of us, along with Molly, tuned in.

The first clip was
on
Melody.  They took us to her home town, a suburb just outside of New York City.  She lived with her mom and dad in a blue
,
one-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac.  Her parents beamed as they showed off baby pictures.

“Here she is in the fifth grade, dressed for her starring role as
Rapunzel
,” her mother said, holding up a photo album.  A young Melody was dressed
in a long, blonde wig
. 

We then followed her to the high school.  She was
all
smiles as she walked into the gymnasium and w
as greeted by hundreds of class
mates, several
of them
claiming to be her
very best friend.  It amazed me what fame did
to people’s perceptions.  I doubted that she had that many
best
friends b
efore her success on the show.

The next stop on the tour was rural Virginia.  My heart skipped a beat when they showed Chris
stepping off
the plane. 
He looked better than when I’d last seen him, more rested, and he seemed happy to be home. 

He hugged his parents.  A little girl, his niece, I
assumed, ju
mped into his arms.  More people gather
ed around, hugging him or shaking his hand. 
They all looked so happy to see him.  A perfect family, I thought.  A wave of envy flushed through
me
. 

Then I saw her.  Bradley McKnight was talking with Chris’s mom, asking her what
she thought of her son’s success
.  Standing away from the crowd, in a darkened corner, was
Alicia
.  Chris hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.  I felt like I’d throw up.

From the airport
,
Chris and the crew headed towards his home.  “This was my parents’ house,” he explained in the limo as they drove up the drive.  “After everyone grew up and moved out, they decided it was too much
and bought a condo in town
.  I couldn’t see it being sold away to some stranger, so I bought it.  I hope to someday raise a family of my own here.”

The camera then
flashed to an enormous, three-s
tory house.  Both Emily and I gasped.  “Holy crap, would you look at that?” she said.  “He must be loaded.”

L
arge, magnificent oak trees surrounded the house.  It had six bedrooms, seven baths, an
d an enormous kitchen
.
  The laundry room was bigger than
my and Emily’s bedrooms put together
.  It was really something
.

There was a below-
ground s
wimming pool in the back
yard.  On one end was a diving board, and on the other, a slide.  Beyond that
,
spread an enormous pasture.  “In total, there’s about fifty acres,” Chris said.  A large shop, a red barn, and several smaller out
buildings dotted the property.

He then showed us the garage.  Inside were a ski boat, an RV, and a shiny red, classic Mustang convertible.  He bragged about the car.  “I bought this about five years ago.  It was nothing more than a pile of rust, but I fixed her up
,
and now she’s better than new.”

Bradley McKnight asked Chris if there were any special ladies in his life.  Emily gave me a sideways glance, and I held my breath, not wanting to hear the answer that I knew was coming.

“Well, there is someone,” he admitted with a sly smile. 

I was
furious
at myself for feeling so attached to him.  Even from the start, before anything real had happened between us, I had known better. 

Bradley probed for more information, but Chris only shook his head
.  “Sorry, she’s very private. 
It’s sort of complicated.”
  His dark eyes gazed into the camera, a small smirk twisting on his lips.

Emily stared at me.  “Someone likes you,” she said with a teasing, sing-song voice.

“He’s not talking about me, Em.” 

“What?  That’s crazy. 
I’ve seen
the way
he looks at you.
”

I got up and went to bed, not
responding to her comment
.  Chris had his life, a
nd I needed
to
get one of my own.  O
ne that did not revolve around him.

Chapter 19

My evening
lecture was a complete bore.  The professor went on and on about the location of the origin of replication on an E. coli chromosome.  I watched the clock the entire time.

After class
,
I
stayed behind to c
hat with Lauren.  “So get this,
Chris has a girlfriend
. 
Her name is
Alicia
.”