Eyes of a Child (13 page)

He smiled faintly, as if remembering a happier time. Then his head snapped up. ‘What Terri said puzzled me – I hadn't seen these behaviors when Elena was with me. But like any responsible parent, I wanted to keep an open mind. So I went to the library and took out some books. And as I read, I began to worry.'

His eyes narrowed. ‘I didn't want to believe it, of course. No parent does. So I wrote it off to the divorce. And then there was this incident at school – sexual acting out, they called it. And everything Terri had told us suddenly fell into place.' He turned to Terri, eyes suddenly hard. ‘It's a symptom of sexual abuse, Terri. Of
our
daughter, by your lover's pervert son.'

It startled Terri. ‘That's crazy . . .'

‘Is it
?' Richie demanded. ‘Then how did I know about that bath?' His voice lowered. ‘Because Elena, our daughter, told me.'

‘Carlo was just
watching
her,' Terri began. Suddenly she flashed on Elena in the bathtub, back arched; was the look somehow provocative, or had Terri imagined it? Her stomach felt hollow. ‘What did Elena tell you?'

‘It was more what she didn't tell me.' Richie stopped, eyes open and candid. ‘She was withdrawn, spacey, obviously upset. Just as you described. When I asked her what was wrong, she turned her face to the wall and folded her arms.' His voice grew troubled. ‘Have you ever tried to get her to answer you, Terri, and she just shakes her head and turns into a ball? Because that's how she was.' He turned to Keene. ‘All she said, Alec, was, “I took a bath with Carlo.”'

Through her disbelief, Terri felt a visceral fear. ‘Why didn't you tell
me?'
she demanded.

Richie opened his palms. ‘These kinds of charges are
very
serious. I wanted to think it over – I was in kind of a tough position here, and I didn't want it to look like I was playing games.' His voice took on an edge. ‘After all, Terri, I was the one who asked you to keep her away from Carlo.'

‘Then what changed your mind?'

‘This thing at school.' He turned to Keene. ‘When Terri called you about it, Alec, I was glad. Because I was coming to the conclusion, however reluctant I might be, that I had to put this on the table. For Elena's sake.'

Keene faced Terri. ‘At any other time,' he asked, ‘have you left Elena alone with Carlo?'

‘Hardly at all.' She hesitated. ‘Maybe once or twice. One time he took her to the park.'

Keene touched his eyes. ‘I don't know what's happening here,' he finally said. ‘These behaviors don't necessarily mean child abuse. But once the charge is made, people don't back off. And it affects everyone, for a long time.' He looked at Richie. ‘Including Elena and this boy.'

‘I know,' Richie answered gravely. ‘Believe me, I know. The only good thing is that this doesn't involve Terri. At least in the sense that she's the abuser.' He turned to Terri, voice suddenly crisp. ‘That means you can fix it, Terri. By keeping her away from Carlo Paget.'

‘It's not that simple,' Keene put in. ‘Terri has a relationship with the father.' He turned to Terri. ‘Is it possible you may live together?'

Terri hesitated. ‘I don't really know,' she said, and then made her voice firm again. ‘As a parent, I can't dismiss what Richie says. But I don't believe that Carlo would abuse Elena, What I
do
believe is that Richie's been saving this as a bargaining chip –'

‘My God, Terri,' Richie's voice rose suddenly. ‘Are you still clinging to Paget after all this? ‘What does it take?'

‘I want Elena tested –'

‘That's a cop-out.' He stood. ‘Look damn it, I want some guarantees from you.'

Terri stood to face him. ‘You've got one. Elena won't go near Carlo, all right? For
both
their sakes. But there
will
be an evaluation. Elena
will
get help. We
will
get to what's happening with her.'

‘You're damned straight we will. By having a professional turn Paget and his son upside down and inside out. If that's what you want, then we're going to do it right.'

Keene stepped between them. ‘All right, both of you.
Enough
.'

Terri sat down; after a moment, so did Richie. She gazed at him across the room. It was strange, Terri thought; suddenly she did not feel anger. What she felt was sadness; what she saw was Carlo, holding Elena's hand as they walked to the park, the little girl smiling up at him.

Even Richie seemed subdued. ‘I'm sorry it's come to this,' he murmured.

Keene shrugged. ‘So am I. But it has. I'll be in touch, with names of three prospective evaluators. Try to agree on one, all right? Otherwise Judge Scatena will have to choose one for you.'

Keene had little else to say. As they left his office for the final time, he wished them good luck.

The halls were empty. Richie nodded toward a quiet corner. ‘Let's talk settlement,' he said.

‘Settlement? I can't even stand to look at you.'

‘I did it for our daughter.' He shook his head portentously. ‘This has gotten ugly, Terri. Unless we agree, it will only get uglier. For everyone.'

Terri forced herself to stay there. ‘You mean you'll
make
it ugly,' she said. ‘So what do you want now?'

‘My original deal. The one you turned down so Scatena could give you even less time with Elena.' He ticked off the points. ‘Twenty-five hundred a month to me. Elena to me during the weeks. Weekends to you.' His voice became commanding. ‘If, and only if, Elena never sees Paget or Carlo again. No handshake deal on that one, Terri. I want it in writing.'

Terri stared at him. ‘It's always the same sick little game with you, isn't it? Drop the bomb, add a few soft words about settlement, and then try to make sure I'm as isolated as possible. But now you've found the perfect wedge between Chris and me – our children.'

‘Can you really be that infatuated with him?' He gave her a derisive smile. ‘Then consider
his
best interests. Your boyfriend wants to go to the Senate, I read. I doubt that raising a child molester is the kind of family values Danny Quayle had in mind. Or, for that matter, whoever Paget may run against.'

Terri felt her fists clench. ‘I think you'd better spell it out for me, Richie. Every slimy nuance.'

‘Oh, I have your attention now. Good.' His smiled vanished abruptly. ‘What I'm saying is that Elena's and your boyfriend's interests are finally the same. That may free you up to think about Elena. For once.'

‘You'd use Carlo.' Her voice was flat. ‘Against Chris.'

Richie slowly shook his head. ‘You've got it backward, Terri. I'd do
anything
to make you protect our daughter.' His voice lowered. ‘Anything at all.'

Terri turned from him, walking away.

‘
Oh
,' he said behind her. ‘There
is
one more thing.'

Terri faced him again. ‘Which is,' she asked coldly.

‘I need some money. In settlement of my community property interests.' His voice was placid now. ‘I want you to sign a loan application for ten thousand dollars. To make up for the ground I've lost, staying with Elena and all.'

Terri looked at him in disbelief. ‘There
is
no community money. Just furniture.'

Richie shrugged. ‘So call it a legal fiction, Ter. And it doesn't need to be a bank loan.' His eyes widened, as if at a sudden new thought. ‘Maybe you could talk to your boyfriend . . .'

Chapter
12

When Terri had called about Richie's charges, from a phone booth outside the Administrative Building, the softness in Chris's voice scared her more than anger would have.

‘Do you know what comes to me Terri? Something Carlo told me just before he came to live with me when he was seven.

‘What he said was: “I hate myself. I want to kill myself.”' His tone was still quiet. ‘He wasn't joking,' Chris continued. ‘Though he looked at me with a funny smile when he said it. He was testing me. To see if anyone gave a damn about whether he lived or died.

‘For eight years, the major purpose of my life has been to tell Carlo, less by words than by being there, that no one in the world was more important to me. The funny thing is, it worked. But while I was trying to change Carlo's life, someone else's life changed too. Mine.' His voice grew softer yet. ‘I love that boy more than Ricardo Arias will
ever
comprehend.'

Terri wished she could see his face. Wearily, she answered, ‘I wish this had never happened, Chris.'

‘It never did.' For the first time, Paget's tone was hard. ‘You were there Terri. Carlo was giving her a bath because
we
asked him to watch her.'

‘I don't think it happened, either. But Elena told Richie
something
.' Her own words became firmer. ‘I like Carlo a lot, and I also know who Richie is. But Elena's a mess, Chris. I can't pretend that Richie never raised this.'

There was another silence. ‘I'll talk to Carlo,' he said in a flat voice, and got off.

Terri made one more telephone call, then drove to Elena's school.

When Terri appeared, the little girl ran into her mother's arms.

Terri held her close. A moment later, she realized that Leslie Warner was standing there and that she seemed to watch Terri with an air of disapproval.

‘Come on, sweetheart,' Terri murmured. ‘We're going to see Dr Nash – it's time for your checkup.' She left without acknowledging the teacher.

Elen's pediatrician was a brisk, no-nonsense woman in her mid thirties. As Elena lay on the examining table with her eyes shut, stoic and silent, Terri hoped that her explanation had soothed her. Elena, she thought sadly, had just turned six.

Afterward, Dr Nash took Terri aside. ‘I can pretty much rule out intercourse,' she said bluntly. ‘Beyond that it's always hard to tell. Unless the child says something.'

Terri looked around the examining room: Elena was engrossed with coloring books. ‘You can't tell me
anything
?'

The doctor frowned. ‘Nothing physical,' she finally answered. ‘She was awfully quiet for such a talkative girl. Perhaps she sensed something. But she went through the pelvic alright, and the first time can be scary.'

In the examination room, a baby started crying. ‘Look,' Terri said, ‘I need to find out what happened.'

Nash paused, then clasped Terri's hand in hers. ‘I've got people waiting,' she said. ‘I wish I could tell you more, but I can't. If something else comes up, please call me.' She hurried off.

At least, Terri realized, it was Friday; she could take Elena home with her.

They sat together on the living room rug with Elena's plastic people. But Elena – whose rich imagination once had invested these figures with distinctive personalities – now seemed to play by rote. When Terri put away the toys, Elena did not protest.

Terri pulled her daughter close to her. ‘Do you remember,' she began gently, ‘when we talked about good touching and bad touching?'

Elena glanced at her, eyes veiled and cautious. She gave an almost imperceptible nod.

‘Tell me about bad touching, okay?'

Elena would not meet her eyes. In a small voice, she said. ‘It's when someone wants to touch my ‘gina. That's all.'

‘Can you think of anything else?'

Elena stood abruptly and walked to the corner of the room. Terri went to her, kneeling. ‘Are you all right?'

A brief nod. The girl's eyes opened wide, as if to see whether Terri would accept this. ‘Do you remember,' Terri asked, ‘the day you took a bath at Chris's house? When Carlo was with you?'

Elena's eyes froze.

Terri forced herself to stay calm. ‘Did Carlo ever touch you, Elena? In a good way or a bad way?'

Elena turned sideways. Her profile was a line of tension – pursed lips, folded arms, stiff body. Terri slid in front of her. ‘Did you say something to Daddy about Carlo? Or a bath?'

The child's eyes flickered. Terri knew what it meant: six-year-old children, when planning to lie, do not disguise it well.

‘No
,' Elena said, and turned away.

Frustrated, Terri clutched her shoulder. ‘You can
talk
to me, Elena. Just like with Daddy.'

‘I
can't.'
Elena whirled abruptly, eyes angry and accusing. ‘You want to take me
away
from him.'

Terri was startled. ‘From who?'

‘From Daddy. I can
never
talk to you.'

Elena turned and ran to her bedroom.

Terri found her on the bed, crying. When she would not come out for dinner, Terri brought a bowl a ice cream to her room, worried and miserable.

A half hour later, Elena straggled to the living room with a blanket and a book. ‘Read a story, Mommy. Please?'

Terri took Elena in her arms and read the story. When she had finished, Elena kissed her on her cheek.

‘I love you, Mommy.' The little girl laid her head on Terri's shoulder. ‘I wish you would live with us again.'

Whoever first conceived of a broken heart, Terri thought to herself, must have loved a child.

An hour later, Chris called. ‘Carlo wants to talk with you,' he said. ‘We both do.'

Terri touched her eyes. ‘I'll try to get my mother.'

It was nine when she got to Chris's. Carlo was in the library. For once, he did not wear the baseball cap.