He didn’t know whether he would be carrying it on this one. Maybe he’d need his sniper rifle. Or the 9 mm sub-machine gun. The details of how they would infiltrate the Juarez compound weren’t yet hammered out. One thing was for certain, it wouldn’t be any half-baked shoestring raid like the last one. They hadn’t had time to prepare properly when they’d stormed the plane. Now they did have the time to construct a plan, and the opportunity to practice it until they could do it in their sleep, and the resources to insure they accomplished the mission goal.
As he’d told Glenna, there was nothing in the world that would keep him from going after Juarez.
Why, then, didn’t he want the mission to end?
Rafe tried once more to clear his mind. He didn’t want to think about the answer to that question. They still had a lot of training in front of them. It would be days, maybe a week before they would be ready. She wouldn’t be ing home yet.
He sighted down range, keeping both eyes open as he focused on the target. When the range master gave the signal, he squeezed off the remaining rounds in his magazine. They hit dead center. Anything less would have been unacceptable.
He was good at what he did. He knew that. He was comfortable with it. It was the path he’d chosen and it was enough. He didn’t need some woman coming along and making him doubt all that.
He’d thought Glenna would have made a good officer. Now he had to amend his opinion. In addition to being a good officer, she would have made a first-rate sniper. She’d sure known how to zero in on his weak spot. She’d taken him completely unawares when she’d ambushed him with that talk about John. He’d never seen it coming.
He reloaded, aimed and fired.
Why the hell had he told her the truth? He’d known he’d dreamed about it—he always dreamed about it—but he never talked about his brother to anyone. Why had he been so blunt with Glenna? He’d been attempting to coax her into going to bed with him. Letting her know how much of a bastard he really was definitely wouldn’t further that cause. Was he
trying
to push her away? Was she right?
Another halt, another reload. Thirty more rounds. His movements were as smooth as those of a well-oiled machine. But his mind wasn’t clear. It seethed with needs and desires that wouldn’t leave him in peace.
No one was in the briefing room when he returned from the range. It was already dark. Glenna had obviously found someone else to take her to her quarters.
Rafe hated the disappointment that went through him. He didn’t like the impulse that had him striding past the reception desk at Moon Hall twenty minutes later, either. He took the stairs two at a time instead of waiting for the elevator. When he reached the door of Glenna’s room, his heart was pounding as if he’d just done a twenty-kilometer run with a thirty-pound rucksack.
Who had brought her here? Flynn? Rafe had assumed his friend had gotten the hands-off message this morning, but when it came to women, Flynn’s reputation was legendary. He could charm anyone. He could be in there right now, flashing his dimples and enjoying the sound of Glenna’s laughter.
Rafe curled his hand into a fist and banged on the door.
It swung open a moment later. Glenna stood in the doorway. She was alone. She’d let her hair down and had taken off her shoes and the suit jacket she’d worn for the day. She looked disheveled and tired, and yet the smile she gave him was as warm as a fresh dawn. “Hello, Rafe.”
His pulse settled. His thoughts steadied. For the first time today, his mind was perfectly clear. Of course, Glenna wouldn’t be here with Flynn or anyone else. She was too honest and too honorable to enter into a meaningless physical relationship. He trusted her. In a strange way, he even admired the strength she’d showed when she’d refused to have sex with him.
That didn’t mean he’d changed his mind about what he wanted from her. On that he was perfectly clear, too. He itched to grab her and pull her into his arms and finish what they’d started yesterday…no, a month ago.
But she’d stated her terms, and he wasn’t able to meet them.
He lifted his hands to grip the sides of the door frame and stayed on the threshold. “Are you and Captain Fox finished for the day?”
“Yes, we’ll resume work in the morning.”
“What time do you want me to pick you up?”
She hesitated. “Thanks, but Sarah’s going to pick me up on her way in tomorrow.”
“Did she bring you here tonight?”
“Yes. She’s a very nice woman. You’re lucky to have her for a friend.”
Her comment surprised him. Normally it took a while for Sarah to warm up to people. He’d thought he’d sensed some tension between the two women earlier, but it seemed they’d sorted it out. “I’m glad you’re getting along with her. It should make the work easier.”
“Yes, it should. How did your target practice go?”
“Fine. Did you have dinner?”
“Yes. Did you?”
“I’ll get something later.” A door down the hall opened. Rafe glanced over his shoulder as a woman herded a pair of small children toward the elevators. Someone’s family, either just arriving at the base or about to leave. He turned his gaze back to Glenna. “Are you going to ask me in?”
“That wouldn’t be a good idea.”
He shifted his grip to the top of the door frame and leaned toward her. “Why not?”
She looked at his flexed arms. She swallowed. “You know why not, Rafe. I’m here to help with the mission, that’s all.”
“Right.”
“And I don’t have any reason to do anything else.”
“Right. You have to have reasons.”
“Yes, I do.”
He dropped his hands and stepped back. “Then I’ll say good-night.”
She regarded him for a moment in silence, then slowly started to swing the door shut. “Good night, Rafe.”
Before the door could close, Rafe slapped his palm against it to hold it open.
She moistened her lower lip with her tongue. He noticed she’d worn off her lipstick. She kept her gaze on the collar of his shirt. “Rafe…”
He gave the door a push, swinging it out of her grasp. He stepped inside and kicked the door shut with the back of his heel.
Her gaze lifted to his face. Her chest was rising and falling with short, sharp breaths. She pushed her hair behind her ear, her hand unsteady. “What do you want, Rafe?”
“I want to kiss you, Glenna.”
A flush spread over her cheeks. “It’s not that simple. We’ve been through this
“For tonight, let’s pretend it is simple, okay?” He caught her wrists and drew her toward him. Her bare toes nudged his boots. He moved his legs apart so he could pull her closer. “When you’re near me, I want to kiss you, and when you’re gone, all I can think about is being near you again. Maybe I’m the one who needs a shrink this time.”
She twisted her wrists from his grip and slid her hands up his arms. She spread her fingers over his biceps. Her mouth tilted with the hint of a smile. “Just one kiss?”
He slipped his arms around her. “Yes. Just one kiss, Glenna,” he said. “I promise. Then I’ll go.”
She smoothed her hands upward. Her fingers curled over his shoulders as she swayed into him. “All right. Just one, then—”
He tightened his arms and brought his mouth down on hers before she could finish. It was a hard kiss, packed with craving and frustration. He needed to taste her, touch her, drink his fill. She responded with a moan, her body softening, her lips parting. Rafe seized her invitation and deepened the kiss. If this was all he was going to get, then he was going to make it last until…
Until she changed her mind about love?
Or until he did?
He picked her up and whirled her around, pressing her back against the door. He felt the warmth of her thighs, the heat between her legs…and for the first time since his brother had died and Rafe understood that he didn’t deserve a future, he wished he was someone else. Someone better. Someone…lovable.
He tore his mouth from Glenna’s and banged his forehead against the door beside her head. He had to wait a full minute before his breathing steadied. It was another long minute before he was able to keep his promise and leave.
Chapter 13
“I
like tall women.” Flynn leaned back in his chair to watch the waitress make her way back to the bar. He lifted his glass and sipped thoughtfully at his beer. “They fit better. You don’t get a crick in your neck. What do you think she’d be without her shoes? Five-ten?”
Rafe glanced at the statuesque blonde who had brought their drinks. “Five-ten and a half. And she’s the bartender’s wife.”
“I know that, I’m talking hypothetically. Another good thing about tall women is that you don’t have to worry about crushing them by mistake. And those legs…” He pursed his lips. “Man, oh man. I once knew a model who was into yoga. The things she could do with those long legs of hers would make you weep.”
Rafe rolled the base of his soda glass along the top of the small table where they sat. He studied the arcs of moisture the condensation left on the wood, letting Flynn’s chatter drift past. Like most of the men in Delta Force, Rafe and Flynn kept a low profile when they went into town. This was a quiet neighborhood bar, a few miles from the base. The only action came from the baseball game that flickered across the screen of the TV in the corner. It was a good place to relax and have a beer or two.
But Rafe hadn’t had a beer for more than a month. Not since Glenna had told him about her mother’s alcoholism. She’d said she didn’t have a problem with other people’s use of liquor, but he didn’t want to risk the possibility of her smelling it on his breath. He didn’t want to stir up any painful memories. Yes, everyone had memories that were better off left buried.
Flynn rapped his knuckles on the table beside Rafe’s glass. “Earth to Marek.”
Rafe looked up. “What?”
“You were thinking about her again, weren’t you?”
“Who?”
Flynn rolled his eyes. “Who else? Our favorite redheaded hostage.”
“She’s not a hostage anymore. The situation is entirely different. She’s here of her own free will.”
“Whoa. Did I hit a sore spot?”
“No. We’re straight on that.”
“Then why have you been acting like you and Glenna are joined at the hip?”
“I brought her into the mission. She’s my responsibility.”
“Well, it’s been five days. The model of the compound’s done and she’ll be going home tomorrow, so maybe it’s time to get yourself back to normal. We need you with us one hundred percent when we go after Juarez.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Come on, Rafe. Ever since she batted those green eyes at you, you’ve changed.”
“No. I’ve done my job. I’ve—”
“You’ve lost your edge. Whenever she’s around, you’ve got this sappy way of looking at her that gives me the creeps. Next thing you know she’ll be getting you to pick out china patterns and naming your firstborn.”
“There’s no chance of that, Flynn. I’m not husband or father material.”
“Does she know that?”
“Yeah. She should.”
“Are you sure that you do?”
“Lay off, Flynn. You’ve made your point.”
“I’m trying to help you here, Rafe. I hope that you’d do the same for me if you ever see me getting serious about a female.” Flynn sipped his beer and absently scratched at his arm. “Although hell would have to freeze over first before that happened,” he added under his breath.
“Flynn…”
“She’s a beautiful woman, I’m not disputing that. She cleaned up even better than I’d guessed. I have nothing against her personally and every guy on the team can understand what you see in her.” He punched Rafe’s shoulder. “But there are plenty more out there. Lots of them as tall as Glenna. Don’t get yourself tied down to just one.”
“I don’t regard women as sport the way you do, Flynn.”
“Who said anything about sport? I like women. I think they’re wonderful. I enjoy making them happy. But once a man gets tied down to one woman, he loses part of himself. He might as well rip open his chest and say, ‘Come and get it,’ because if you give a woman control over your heart, she’ll tear it out.”
Rafe was startled by the sudden vehemence in his friend’s voice. “You sound as if you’re speaking from experience.”
Flynn stared at his beer glass for a moment, then muttered an oath and drained it with a flourish. He thumped the empty glass to the table and gave Rafe a crooked smile. “Long time ago, buddy. We’re talking about you here, not me. Freedom is good,” he said. “And it’s safe.”
Why did he want to argue? Rafe wondered. Yes, freedom was good and it was safe. But it was also…lonely.
Rafe braced his elbows on the table and dropped his forehead into his hands. Ever since he’d brought Glenna to the base, it had been a constant struggle to keep his mind on his duty. He kept seeking ways to get her alone. But privacy in the middle of an army base was hard to come by. Flynn wasn’t the only one who had commented on Rafe’s preoccupation with the team’s beautiful guest.
But Rafe didn’t care who knew. Even when they weren’t alone, he enjoyed being with Glenna. He’d once thought they had nothing in common, but that wasn’t true. She was as serious about this mission as anyone on the team. She never complained about the long hours or the incessant questions and double-checking as they had built the final plans of the Juarez compound. She got along well with officers and enlisted men alike, treating them with courteous respect whatever their background or upbringing.
She’d once told him that they’d be the same people, no matter where they were. She’d been right. She didn’t act the way he had expected a rich and privileged Long Island heiress or a sophisticated Manhattan businesswoman to behave. She was still…Glenna. Her intelligence was spiced with wit. Her good manners stemmed from her warm and giving heart. Each day he spent with her revealed more aspects of her that were as intriguing as her laugh or her temper.
She liked jazz. She was partial to pecan pie. She read mystery novels, she liked making lists and she had a habit of pulling her lower lip between her teeth when she was trying to concentrate.
He was going to miss her when she left.