Authors: Kyra Lennon
“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she clung to me. “I’m so sorry.”
She placed her hands on my shoulders and gently moved me back slightly so she could look at me. Again, she stared, as if she was seeing me for the first time in forever. “Since you left the hospital, I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said. About how… how you could have been on the bus too. How we could have lost you, and you wouldn’t have known how much I love you.”
I shook my head. “I never doubted that, Ellie. I understood why you acted the way you did, I just didn’t like the way you went about it.”
“I’m done, Luce. I don’t think I’ll ever stop worrying, but I promise I won’t interfere, or make you think I’m not here for you.” She let go of me and turned to Jason. For a second, it was like time stood still as they surveyed each other. I held my breath, waiting for one of them to speak. Ellie took a small step towards him but Jason didn’t move. His posture was still rigid, because even though she’d apologised to me, it wasn’t clear whether we truly had her blessing.
“Jase.” Ellie took a deep breath and lowered her head for a second. “As crappy as I’ve been as a sister, I think I’ve been an even worse friend. I’ve been no better than the damn press with the way I’ve acted towards you. I wasn’t fair to you, and I have no excuse for that. Being worried about Lucy is not a good enough reason for freaking out as much as I did. I’m just hoping we’ve been friends for long enough that we can…” She stopped and a tear dripped down her cheek.
That was all Jason needed.
He stood up and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on the top of her head. “I get it, Ellie. I know who I am, and I know the things I’ve been capable of in the past. I’ve had more than enough second chances, and I’ve blown almost all of them. For the last year, I’ve worked so hard to get where I am now, and I’m not giving that up. Not for anything. But you also have to understand that I’m not giving Lucy up, either. I want a chance with her, and that’s not up for debate. I would really like it if you’d give us a chance too.”
Again, the room fell silent as we waited for Ellie’s answer. She didn’t speak for a while, but she didn’t let go of Jason either. She held him tightly; her best friend in the whole world. I understood all the reasons this was hard for her, and I understood that the two of them would always have a bond I would never be a part of, or even remotely comprehend. Maybe I should have been a little jealous of that the way Drew used to be. How could I be jealous of something so special, though? Their closeness had no bearing on the way he and I felt about each other, and as I held my breath again, I hoped Ellie would come through for us. Tell us what we both needed to hear.
“I can do that,” she said, softly, so quietly I almost didn’t hear her.
Jason placed a kiss on her cheek. “Thank you.”
Releasing the breath I’d held, I stood up and hugged Ellie again, thanking her without words. Jason sat down in the chair I’d vacated then pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me, as Ellie sat on the bed beside Drew. The heaviness in Jason’s eyes had almost completely lifted, and I was sure my own reflected his. I flicked my gaze towards Drew and Ellie, and Drew looked equally as relieved that one of his concerns had been eased. We all had a long way to go until everything was right in our world, but we’d taken the first step.
We’d taken it together.
Epilogue
“Well, well, well,” Jason snaked his arms around me on the dance floor. “I don’t think today could have gone any better.”
I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck, smiling. “I think you’re right.”
All around us couples slow danced to Ed Sheeran, the lights soft, casting patterns on the highly polished wooden floor. The people sitting at tables around the room watched, mesmerised by the romance in the air.
And in the centre of the dance floor, Ellie and Drew were pressed together, Drew’s hands firmly on the hips of his new bride, and Ellie looking up at him; she was the happiest woman in the world.
Sixteen months had passed since the worst day of our lives. The day we received the phone call that changed everything for all of us. That summer, the one that was supposed to be the best summer of my life, had flipped in an instant, along with the Razes Hell tour bus. Truth be told, none of us had been the same since. Losing Mack had thrown all of our lives into disarray, and yet, through his death, so many things had also fallen into place. It was such a bittersweet time – we missed him like crazy, but we’d grown stronger too.
“Look at them,” I said, my eyes focused on the newlyweds. Drew whispered something into Ellie’s ear and she laughed, resting her head on his shoulder. “They are absolute perfection.”
Jason turned his head towards them, his own eyes softening as his brother and his best friend kissed. “It’s been a long road, hasn’t it?”
“It sure has. But today has made everything worth it.”
It wasn’t only wedding stress that had made the last year so rough. Drew’s surgery hadn’t gone as well as we’d hoped, and he’d gone from being unable to feel his legs to being in severe pain. Further surgery had corrected that, but he still felt it from time to time. He would never be one hundred percent, but he could walk, and that was enough for him. Drew’s injuries plus the loss of Mack meant the demise of Razes Hell. The guys initially wanted it to be a temporary break, but none of them could stand the idea of replacing Mack. In their eyes, nobody would ever measure up. Joey had joined an up and coming rock band, and Jason and Drew worked together, writing mostly. Jason had plans to release a solo album, but he’d put it on hold while he and I figured out our relationship.
I pressed myself into Jason, tightening my arms around him, unable to stop my smile.
This man
. He looked so different to the way the rest of the world saw him. Just for this one day, his ripped jeans were gone, replaced with a black suit, white shirt, and a midnight blue tie that perfectly matched my bridesmaid’s dress. The scruffy rocker look was sexy as hell, yet he pulled off the respectable best man look equally as well, if not better.
“What are you thinking about?” Jason asked, a grin playing on his lips. His hands slipped from my waist to the base of my spine causing a tingle to ripple up my backbone.
“You. Us.”
“What about us?”
“We made it. We waded through all the crap the press threw at us, and we made it work in spite of us living at almost opposite ends of the country for most of the year.”
“Did you doubt that we would make it?”
I tilted my head to one side. “A little at first. There were so many things and people against us. I never… I never doubted you, though. Never doubted how we feel about each other.”
When Jason’s lips brushed against mine, the rest of the room disappeared. The dance floor was empty except for me and him, and the music played only for us.
We
had
been through a lot. Adversity plagued us for the first six months we were together; even the break up of the band didn’t ease the pressure. Jason was still famous, and people still had opinions. With me in Sheffield and Jason in St Ives helping Drew and Ellie, we’d kept a sensible amount of distance between us, even though Jason could easily have moved to Sheffield with me. We both decided that living in each other’s pockets so soon wouldn’t be the best idea, and I’d needed to focus on my last year of uni and graduate – which I did, with a 2:1. On graduation day, Jason was at my side, along with the rest of my family, and he’d asked me to move in with him, a little over a year after he first kissed me.
Jason’s eyes sparkled as he looked into mine. “Do you want to marry me, Luce?”
The glimmer of mischief made me laugh, and I gave his arm a playful slap. “Not if you ask me like that!”
Throwing his head back, he said, “Oh, you want the whole hearts and flowers crap, right?”
I loved that he remembered the silly conversation we’d had back when Ellie and Drew got engaged, when I’d warned him that for a proposal, women want romance. What I’d learned since dating Jason was that romance didn’t have to mean hearts and flowers. It could be something as simple as him bringing me a bar of chocolate when I felt a bit down. The little things? They mean so much more than huge gestures. The little things are everything.
I shook my head, still smiling. “No. But I do want something a little less spontaneous.”
“You like spontaneity.”
When he winked at me, I started to laugh too. I could hardly deny that – some of the best fun we’d had involved being spontaneous and living in the moment.
His question, and our whole relationship, was proof of how much Jason had changed, and that was as much of a surprise to him as it was to everyone else who knew him. Me? I never doubted that once he found the right person, he’d calm down and be the guy I always knew he was. I just never expected to
be
that person.
“I love you, Jase.”
“I love you too, Lucy.” He leaned in closer, his mouth beside my ear as he whispered, “And one day, you
will
be my wife.”
His words and his warm breath on my neck made me shiver, my heart swelling with joy. “You’d best get working on that proposal then.”
He laughed softly. “How does Paris sound?”
Paris. The place we’d made our first significant connection, and the one place on last year’s tour we only had good memories of. The place that wasn’t tainted by fights or cravings or accidents or paparazzi.
The place where we’d had our first “
first”
.
I placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Paris sounds perfect.”
Kyra Lennon is a self-confessed book-a-holic, and has been since she first learned to read. When she's not reading, you'll usually find her hanging out in coffee shops with her trusty laptop and/or her friends, or girling it up at the nearest shopping mall.
Kyra grew up on the South Coast of England and refuses to move away from the seaside which provides massive inspiration for her novels.
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