Every Tongue Got to Confess (7 page)

So the wife ast: “How kin I cut it off and he won’t know it?”

Sarah says: “Wait till he go to sleep and you take his razor and cut it off.”

Wife says: “He is pretty now, but if anything will make him more pretty, I’ll do it.”

So after dinner de man went on back down in de field and went to plowing. So when de woman left she went on down in de fiel and she tole de man: “You know I found out something today.”

He says: “Whut?”

She says: “You and yo wife been living together a nary a year and you love her, don’t you?”

He says: “Yes”.

“And she make out she love you, too, but tonight when you go to bed you stay wake and cover up yo’ head and when she start to pull de cover off yo’ head she gointer have yo’ razor in her hand to cut yo’ throat. Now don’t say I told you. Don’t call my name, but you’ll see whut I’m tellin you is true.”

So dat evening when he knocked off she had supper ready, he eat and went on to bed and covered up. When she thought he was sleep she went to easing the cover off and he looked up and saw de razor in her hand. He says: “Whut you doing wid dat razor. I done heard it today you was going to cut my throat. Good as I been to you, long as we been living together, too.”

She says: “I just wanted to cut dat mole off yo’ neck to make you mo’ pretty.”

“Oh, naw, you wuzn’t—trying to cut my throat.”

He put her out.

Next morning the woman she went over to the devil’s house. He says: “Is dat you, Sarah?”

She says: “Yeah. I done whut I tole you. I done broke ’em up. I want my shoes.”

Devil says: “All right, wait a minute.”

He went down to de swamp and cut a long pole and tied de shoes on to it.

Says: Here’s yo’ shoes, but anybody slicker than me, I don’t want ’em close to me. Git back. I don’t want you close to me.”

—M. C. F
ORD.

Once there was a man going with the devil’s daughter and wanted to marry her. The devil told him he could, if he could tell her from the rest.

So he put all her seven sisters in a line with her and they were all exactly alike. But Mary had done told him she would move her feet, so he could tell her from the rest. So she did.

So he took her and married her and she used to fuss with him. One night in the bed he asked her what make her fuss so much when he was nice and kind to her and she said: “Honey, that’s the devil. I got seven devils in me.”

So he took a sledge hammer and knocked her on the head, and six devils jumped out, but one stayed in her. That’s how come all lady people got the devil in them, because that one was left in her.

—A
RTHER
H
OPKINS.

These people was vast rich. De devil had taken possession to such an extent dat all of ’em had died but de man and his daughter. So dey left de mansion and built another one not far off and made an offer to give any man de daughter to stay over night in dis
*
. Several tried it and couldn’t stand de racket. At last two niggers came along and taken de job. They went upstairs and made them a fire. One sent de other down to get a couple of chickens. He stayed so long he went to look for him and found him dead at the foot of the stair. John didn’t stop. He stepped over him and went on out to the coop and got de chickens and went back upstairs and picked ’em. By time he got in a good way picking ’em, in walked a man with a greasy sack and beard to waist. He ast John what’s he doing.

“I’m picking my chicken.”

He ast, “Kin I help you?”

Reply was, “Yes, if you behave yourself.”

This party was de devil and he had sharp claws and he was
tearing the chicken up. The man grabbed the chicken, taken it away and picked and cooked it. Devil ast, “Whut you going to do now?”

“Cook my chickens.”

After cooked, “Whut you going to do now?”

“Eat.”

“Kin I eat with you?”

“Yes, if you behave yourself.” So they ate together; after supper they smoked. Now this sack dat devil had in his hand was full of imps. After they went to bed de devil turned ’em a-loose. They begin running all over de bed and house and in de meantime John had hid a hatchet under the pillow. He up wid it and lammed one of dese imps wid it and dat intempered de devil; so he jumped up and made a break for John and John made a break for de door and round de house, de woodshed and into de workshop, John on one side of de work bench and de devil on de other. Devil was reaching over after John and his whiskers got caught in the vice and John screwed up on them. He had him.

“Now you’ve got me, Now I’ll not bother you, but stay off dat hill yonder. Don’t you never come up dat hill.”

So John won and married de girl. They gave him the girl and made him vast rich. One evening they went out driving in a buggy with a horse and saw a little white rabbit. Girl says, “Oh dear, git dat for me.”

He spring out de buggy and run after de rabbit and de rabbit run right up dat hill. When he got up dere he turned back to de original devil. “I got you now. I tole you not to come upon dis hill.”

“When I had you, I granted your request; now there’s one request I want you to grant me—I want to go down and tell my wife good-bye—and you see her down dere in de buggy.”

He goes down and got his wife and wrapped her in de rug and put her under his arm and walked on back. De devil saw him coming, ast him: “Whut’s dat you got under your arm?”

“My vice.” Devil tole him to gwan back—he didn’t need him. Some years later John died and went to hell—devil looked through the iron gate and saw him. Give him some matches and tole him to go on back and build a hell of his own.

—L. O. T
AYLOR
.

A Negro and de devil had a bet of one thousand dollars to tell which one was the strongest. They brought out a five-ton hammer, placed it on the ground, and going to see which one could throw it the farthest. Devil picked up de hammer at nine
A.M.
and threw it. Turned to the Negro and said: “We’ll go home—the hammer won’t return until three days later.”

On the third morning at nine
A.M.
the hammer fell. Knocked a hole in the ground big enough to place three counties in it. They took the hammer out and placed it on level again and it was then the Negro’s time to throw it. The Negro looked straight towards the clouds and said: “Stand back, Rayfield (Raphael); move back, Abraham; watch your step, Jesus.”

The devil walked up to the Negro and said to him: “Don’t you throw my damn hammer up there. Some of my tools was left there when the Lord threw me down, and I ain’t got ’em yet.”

—J
ONATHAN
H
INES.

You know de devil don’t do everything they say. One day uh man wuz on his way tuh church an’ he wuz late, so he cut crost uh pasture. When he wuz gettin’ under de barb-wire fence he snagged his pants, an’ he said: “Oh shucks! de devil done dat.”

Soon’s he said dat he heard somebody snufflin’ an’ cryin’ an’ he looked up an’ seen uh man settin’ on uh fence post justa
cryin’. De man wuz sayin’: “Ah sho do have uh hard time. Now there goes another man lyin’ on me.”

It wuz de devil!

—W. M. R
ICHARDSON.

A widow lady had jus’ one chile and it was a girl. She was mighty pretty. A man next door had four children.

So one day de Devil come stole ’em all. He put two chillen under each arm and put de pretty girl in his mouf.

De widow looked up and saw him flyin off wid her pretty daughter in his mouf so she thought up a way to git her back. So she hollered and ast: “Hey, old Satan, is you comin back after more?”

He says: “Yeah.” Kerdap! De girl fell out his mouf and run back to her mama.

Next time he got somebody in his mouf they (the people) hollered and ast him: “Hey, Satan, is you comin back for more?”

He said: “Unh hunh” and kept right on.

—M
ACK
C. F
ORD.

There was a witch woman wid a saddle-cat who could git out her skin and go ride people she didn’t like. She had a great big looking-glass. When she git ready to go out she’d git befo dat glass naked. Jus befo she shake herself she would go and lay all her clothes out—stretch em out on de bed so she wouldn’t have no trouble when she git back.

Then she’d go back befo de glass and shake herself and she’d say: “Gee whiz! Slip ’em and slip ’em agin!” And de old skin would slip off and she’d git out on her [illegible] and she’d look back and say “umph!! I forgot sumthin.” And she’d go back to her keyhole and she blow and say, “Open door, lemme come in agin.” And she’d go back and spread de old skin out at de fire place and tell de skin, “So remember who you are.”

And one time her old use-to-be she used to love so hard was eave-dropping her and when she got away he slipped in and salts de hide wid pepper and salt. She couldn’t find her old use-to-be at his house so she could ride him nowhere at no struggle of sleep, so she made her way back home. Says, “Umph! I’m de witch woman, but I b’lieve I’m done lost out.”

So she goes and blows to de key hole in de door and de do’
got tighter. She squinch herself and blow, say: “Witchcraft, won’t you let me in?”

Her old use-to-be come from behind de house and de door cracked and in she went. She looked all around. Everything looked all right. She said to de old skin, “Less go agin.” When she tried de old skin on, de old skin begin to burn and sting. She laid it back down and looked at it. She picked it up agin and said: “Skin, oh skin, old skin, don’t you know me?”

She tried it agin and it burned and stung her agin. Said: “Gee whiz! old skin, dis is me. I been goin and goin, but I think dis is my old use-to-be (who has conquered me).”

Her old use-to-be spoke behind de house and says: “You used to have me, but I got you now.”

—A. D. F
RAZIER
.

In Bullard County, Alabama, there was a haunted house and you had to spend the night so as you could tell whut happened during de night. The first guest come in had music to console him, gamblers and preachers, drunkards and other dissipated class to amuse one another and see whut happen.

The first thing come in at twelve o’clock was a big black cat and he would come sit by de hearth with his back to de fire and his face to de guests. Den for one hour de wind would blow and de lights would go out just as fast as you light ’em. So de guests would get skeered and run out and they couldn’t tell nothin but “de black cat come in and de lights went out.”

Some more guests come. This cat come in agin—back to fire and his face to de people. They begin to start de music to stay till day. De wind begin to blow and all de lights went out agin. They stood de hour through and de lights come on. When de wind riz de do’ wuz already locked and thumb
bolted, but it flew open. In come a pair of white feets and stood before de fire wid de heels to de fire and they toes to de people. When de door opened again, de legs come in and joined to dem feet. De do’ wuz still locked. Nex’ time de thighs come in and joined to de legs. Nex’ when de do’ open agin in come de body and join on to de thighs. Nex’ time in come de arms and joined on to de body. When de do’ open agin, head come in and said: “Now, by God, we got de man.”

Guests of people whut wuz there said: “No, by God, you got a hell of a run.”

Next time five people tried it a old woman and her two daughters and the son-in-law and de baby. All four had a package but de baby. They set out on de porch wid they feets on second step from de top. Look at each other and every now and then the baby would cry. He was in de house on de bed. They would go and quiet de baby and go back on de porch.

Old lady said: “Lemme me go git de baby and git some water for it.”

They all went out to de well, catch hold of the rope and begin to pull. Old lady said: “Lawd, dis bucket must be hung, it pulls so hard. Whut we goin do now?”

All drilled
*
back to de porch and set down agin. Come a big white man round de corner of de house. Old lady looks at him and say: “Lawd, whut you want here?”

He said to her: “Good that you spoke, If you hadna spoke I’d a ’stroyed de crowd.” And he said to her, he said: “Y’all git up and follow me.”

They followed him on down cross de weedy field. Old lady right behind de white man, and so on to de youngest. Carried ’em up in de pine thicket where there was a old chestnut tree and he caught on to one of de saplins and bent it down. After he got it down he told de old lady to tell her youngest girl to
come here. He said: “Now, before I tell y’all whut I want you to do”, he says to de young girl, “come ketch hold of de tip top of dis sapling.” He said: “Now lissen, at de root of dat tree where dis saplin growed upon, I buried years and years of money. You go to my old barn when I’m gone and you’ll find a bunch of tools tied up with chains. Everything I took (used) to bury dis money is in dat chain. You’ll find a steel box with keys and you take it and get dis money for yourself. My home is yo’ home as long as you all live.” Dat time de wind riz and de lil girl holdin to de saplin top hit straightened in a flash of wind and de old lady looked for her and she said: “Now, dat’s hell agin. But this is my home.” They ain’t never seen de girl no more.

—A.D. F
RAZIER
.

An orphan boy and girl lived in the house with their grandmother, and one day she had to go a journey and left them there alone. The little girl was sick and the boy went to search for food for them both.

After he was gone, the girl felt stronger so she got out of bed. She was walking in the house when he came back.

“Why do you get out of bed?” he asked her.

She said that she got out of bed because she smelt the witches about. He laughed at her and persuaded her to eat some yams. While they were eating, sure enough in came three witches.

The witches wanted to eat them at once, but they begged to be spared until their grandmother returned at sundown. The witches didn’t want to wait, so they said that they would not eat them if they would go and get some water from the spring. The children gladly said that they would go.

The witches gave them a sieve to fill with water, and told them that if they did not return at once with it, they would be eaten immediately.

The boy and girl went to the spring for the water and dipped and dipped to try to fill the sieve, but the water always ran out faster than they could fill it. At last they saw the witches coming. Their teeth were far longer than their lips.

The boy and girl were terribly frightened. He seized her hand said, “Let us run. Let us go across the deep river.”

The children ran as fast they could. They saw the witches behind them coming so fast that they made a great cloud of dust that darkened the sun. The little girl stumbled and the witches gained so fast that they saw they could not reach the river before the witches, and so climbed a great tree.

The witches came to the foot of the tree and smelt their blood. They came with a broad-ax and began to chop down the tree. The little girl said: “Block eye, chip, block eye chip!” and the pieces that the witches chopped off would fly back into the witches’ eyes and blind them.

The boy called his dogs. (Chant) “Hail Counter! Hail Jack! Hail Counter! Hail Jack!”

The witches at the foot of the tree chopping away said, (chant): O-ooo! Whyncher, whyncher! O-ooo! Whyncher, whyncher!” (Here it is understood that each actor in the drama is speaking, or chanting his lines without further indications.)

“Hail Counter, Hail Jack!”

“O-ooo! Whyncher, whyncher!”

“Block eye chip, block eye chip!”

The tree was toppling and the children was so scared, but the boy kept on calling: “Hail Counter, hail Jack!”

“Block eye chip, block eye chip!”

“O-ooo! Whyncher, whyncher!”

The little girl asked her brother: “Do you see the dogs coming yet?”

He said, “Not yet. Hail Counter! Hail Jack!” He didn’t see the dogs coming and he began to sing: “I’m a little fellow here by myself for an hour.”

“Block eye chip, block eye chip.”

The dogs was tied at home. They heard his voice and wanted to come, but they were tied. The grandmother was asleep. She was very tired from her journey. She wondered where her grandchildren were. She did not hear the dogs whining to go to the aid of the boy. But a black fast-running snake heard the boy and ran to the house and struck the grandmother across the face with his tail and woke her, and she loosed the dogs.

“I’m a little fellow here by myself for an hour.”

“Block eye, chip! Block eye, chip!”

“Hail Counter, hail Jack!”

“O-oooo! Whyncher, whyncher!”

By that time here come the dogs. The tree was falling. The boy and girl was so glad to see the dogs. He told one dog: “Kill ’em!” He told another one, “Suck their blood!” He told the last one, “Eat the bones!”

By that time I left. (Favorite way of ending a story.)

—H
ATTIE
R
EEVES,
born on Island of

   Grand Command.

The old fortune-teller woman, you know. Dis old man and woman had been married for fifty years. And they lived a long ways from town and dis old fortune teller woman she lived on de road to town.

De old folks raised rice and hawgs and lived pretty good all they life.

Dis old fortune-teller woman she got out of produce so she figgered uh way to cut dis old man off on his way to town and git something off him to go upon.

She sees him comin down de road wid his team uh oxen so she got herself out where she could stop ’im. So she says to ’im:

“Brothah Ishum, I been dreamin bout you every night and de Lawd done tole me to tell you to watch yo wife. Cause she’s gointer cut yo’ th’oat when you git back—thinkin youse wid other wimmen when youse in town. Whilst youse in town doin yo’ shoppin think of me. When you start back home think of me.”

Soon’s he drives on off she gits her basket and sack and lights out to his house to see his old lady. She gits down to his Hannah’s house and sets down and talks wid her and asts her why she don’t never go to town wid her husband no time.

She tole her: “Lawd, chile, I ain’t been to town in twenty year and I ain’t feel like takin dat ride. I stay heah and take keer everything and have him a hot supper ready when he git back.”

De old fortune-teller woman she say: “Lawd, Sister Hannah, you don’t know Brer Ishum. He got a gal uptown. Thass how come it take him so long to go and come, and it wouldn’t be
me
, Lawd, puttin up wid such.”

So she gathered up her things and went on over to de fortune teller’s house. She ast her: “Whut you do to yo’ husband?”

Dat put de fortune teller in uh strain so she took her and carried her over to a neighbor’s house.

Brer Ishum had done got lonesome for de old lady so when de witch woman got back home he wuz dere. He ast her: “Is you seen my old ’oman?”

She tole him: “No, I ain’t seen ’em.”

—A.D. F
RAZIER
.

A man sold hisself to de high chief devil. He give ’im his whole soul and body to do as he please wid it. He went out in dis drift of woods and lied down flat of his back
beyond all dese skull heads and bloody bones and said: “Go way, Lawd, and come heah Devil, and do as you please wid me, cause I wanta do everything in de world dat’s wrong and never do nothin right.”

And he dried up and died away on doin wrong. His meat all left his bones and de bones all wuz separated. And at dat time High Walker walked upon his skull head and kicked de old skull-head and kicked and kicked it on ahead of him a many and many times and said to it: “Rise up and shake yo’self. High Walker is here.”

Old skull head wouldn’t say nothin. He looked back over his shoulder, cause he heard a noise behind and said: “Bloody Bones, you won’t say nothin yet.”

Den de skull-head said: “My mouth brought me here, and if you don’t mind, yours will bring you here.”

High Walker and Bloody Bones went on back to his white folks and told de white man dat a dry skull-head wuz talkin in de drift today. White man say he didn’t believe it.

So: “Well, if you don’t believe it, come go with me and I’ll prove it. And if hit don’t speak you kin chop my head off right where hit at.”

So de white man and High Walker went back in de drift to find dis old skull-head. So when he walked up to it, he begin to kick and kick de ole skull-head and it wouldn’t say nothin. High Walker looked at de white man and de white man cut his head off. And de old dry skull-head said: “See dat now—I told you dat mouf brought me here and if you didn’t mind it’d bring you heah.”

So de Bloody Bones riz up and shook they selves and de white man said: “Whut you mean by dis?”

Bloody Bones say: “We got High Walker and we all bloody bones now in de drift together.”

—A.D. F
RAZIER
.

This was a man. His name was High Walker. He walked into a boneyard with skull-heads and other bones. So he would call them: “Rise up, bloody bones and shake yo’self.”

And they would rise up and come together and shake their selves and part and lay back down. Then he would say to hisself: “High Walker” and de bones would say: “Be walkin.”

When he’d get off a little way he’d look back over his shoulder and shake hisself, say: “High Walker and bloody bones.” And de bones would shake their selves. He knowed he had power.

—A. D. F
RAZIER.