Authors: Annie Brewer
“Well, I’ll be honest with you, my idea of a first date is dinner and then skip the dessert and head straight for the sex.” I watch her eyes widen. I was afraid this would happen. “But that’s part of me I’ve left behind. I’ve done some crazy shit I’m not proud of which is why I moved. I’m trying to right some wrongs and prove to my parents I’m not a complete fuck up and I can make it on my own, without getting into trouble.” I take another sip and notice her relax, but keeping her gaze on me. Maybe she was surprised by my honesty.
“So you said that
was
your idea of a first date, what is your idea now?” I lay my hands in my lap and contemplate my answer. Considering now I haven’t really been on any dates, I can’t say what my idea would be. But I can imagine the kind of date I’d take Maddy on.
“Still working on that.” Is all I say, instead. And then…it’s saved by the sushi.
Chewing and smacking seems to be keeping us occupied for the time being. I don’t mind though. It gives me a reason to observe the effort Maddy takes to attempt her chop sticks. It’s cute to watch her struggle; she hasn’t had as much practice as me.
“Are you just going to laugh at me the whole time or are you going to tell me what I’m doing wrong? These damn things won’t cooperate.”
I give her a sidelong glance chuckling. “Is it okay if I laugh first and then help you?” I stop laughing and pick up my chop sticks to show her how to hold them properly. “It’s tricky but you put them between your fingers, like so.” I hold them effortlessly and then reach over to set them between her fingers. The contact is quick as I pull back and ignore the itch to touch her again. Her fingers slip and the chopstick drops. Frustrated, she tries again. After a couple more tries, she finally gets it.
“Oh I think I finally got it now, see?” She holds it up in front of me and I can’t help but smile seeing her excitement.
“Good job. More practice and you’ll do it without thinking about it.” I say as I stick a bite in my mouth and wink.
“Show off.” Oh she has no idea.
“Maybe.” My mind wanders in the gutter for a moment but I bite my tongue. It takes every ounce of strength to remind myself that I’m not that guy anymore, the one who would say things to swoon a girl to get her to bed. I won’t be him again. I hated him.
“Do you want to try mine?” She picks her food up using the chop sticks and reaches over to give me a bite. It feels weirdly intimate, but I act casual and take a bite even though I don’t like being fed like a toddler. I chew and swallow. “I like it.”
“Yeah, I really like it too. I didn’t think I would. Now can I have a bite of your octopus?” I hold in my laughter and she doesn’t notice how her question sounded.
I pick up a small bite for her with my chop sticks but before I can send it in her mouth, she’s already stolen the bite with her chop sticks.
Oh hell no.
“Wait, what the hell are you doing?” She’s chewing it and clearly enjoying it, judging by the expression on her face.
“Sorry, you were taking too long…the fish was staring at me, totally creeping me out. But hey I used my chop sticks without dropping them.” She claps her hands excitedly. I’m not smiling and then she’s not clapping. “Are you upset?” It strikes me as odd that I would feel offended I didn’t get to feed her.
“Not upset, just disappointed. You fed me so it’s only fair I return the favor.” God, I’m such a lame ass.
“Well, I’ve been craving ice cream since we left, why don’t you feed me a bite. It has to be a flavor I’ve never tried before.” I perk up. Ice cream will definitely hit the spot.
“Deal.” She returns to her food. I’m feeling grateful, so I take a deep breath and get it out. “Maddy?” I start. She looks up; our eyes meet, making me forget what I was going to say.
Focus, Noah.
I swallow and look down at my plate. “Thank you for making my first date worth all the shitty ones.”
“You’ve had shitty dates?” She sounds surprised. “Or do you mean the ones that didn’t go home with you?” Ouch, that was a low blow, but well-deserved.
I shake my head, “No, I’m not talking about those. I mean all the dates that didn’t involve you.” Okay that sounded stupid.
“Oh.” She says quietly, looking embarrassed. “But it’s not over yet. Let’s make it a night to remember.” I like the sound of that.
I pay for the meal, ready to continue our night of casual fun. Driving in a town I’m unfamiliar with, I follow Maddy’s directions to a park nearby. She points me in the right direction, but then I remember where I wanted to go in the first place, so I take a slight detour. Maddy squeals when she sees me pulling into a Dairy Queen. “I was hoping you wouldn’t forget.” She says, smiling.
Before we get out of the car, I grab my Letterman’s jacket from the backseat and when I walk to her side, open the door, I drape it over her shoulders. “Thank you.” I nod.
It seems all ice cream shops are the same, but Dairy Queens are my favorite. There are only a couple of people in front of us, so I take the time to memorize the flavors. “What flavor have you not had?” I ask her. She licks her lips, contemplating. I try not to stare as her tongue snakes out and grazes her top lip. This girl has no idea what she does to me. I force my eyes to focus elsewhere, like the delicious flavors in front of me. So many flavors and colors.
“I want to try pistachio.” She finally says. Okay, that is one flavor I never liked. Maybe I’ll try it anyway. I can try new things too.
“I’ll have rocky road.” I look at Maddy, “You haven’t had that kind, have you?”
“Nope. And remember, you’re feeding me a bite of it.” I wouldn’t dream of forgetting. I smile. We tell the server our orders and buy drinks as well. Ice cream always makes me thirsty. “Wait, I want a banana split instead please. Sorry.” I smirk and shake my head. “I’ll buy mine.”
“No, I’m buying tonight.” I pull out my wallet and hand the guy at the register my card. “Do you want to eat here or do you want to go to the park and eat?”
“We can eat at the park.”
“But it’s cold as shit outside and you’re in a dress.”
“It’s fine. I did bring a change of clothes, remember?” I ask her if she wants to change here before we go but she just shakes her head. I do like seeing her in that dress. Hell, I like seeing her in sweats just as much. She’s naturally beautiful. “No I’ll be fine. Let’s just go. I’m dying to eat this creamy dessert.” I can’t help the excitement that is trying to claw its way through my throat. It’s ridiculous, really. But I feel thrilled to eat ice cream with a girl at a park on a Friday night. We walk out into the night to my jeep, I open Maddy’s door and take her bag of ice cream and drink until she’s seated before handing it back to her. “Do you want me to hold your ice cream while you drive? Or are you one of those guys that can multi-task like a bad ass?” I buckle my seatbelt and wink at her.
“I’m actually a half-ass-tasker guy. I do half a bunch of things at once. But I won’t show off anymore tonight. I wouldn’t want to get all big-headed about it. So since you asked, you can hold my ice cream, kind lady. Thank you.” I joke. She takes my ice cream and sets it in her lap. The drive to the park is silent, but comfortable.
Living up north has gotten me used to keeping a blanket in the trunk of my car. I always have one, even when it’s not cold. Camping upstate a lot with girls had me trained to keep one with me. No one else would remember to bring one.
Maddy watches my pull out my New York Giants blanket and gives me a curious look. “You’ve come prepared.”
“I’m always prepared.” I quip. “Besides, it helps me score with the ladies. They like a thoughtful gentleman such as me.” Maddy rolls her eyes making me laugh.
We walk to a table on the left side of the playground. Maddy climbs up to sit on the very top. I join her. She pulls my jacket down under her butt for warmth as I drape the blanket across both of our legs and we begin eating our ice cream in silence. Sitting this close to her is wrong in all the right ways.
“Do you want a bite now?” She asks, breaking the silence.
“Okay, but you have to try my rocky road first.” I grab a spoonful and make the spoon dance in front of her mouth, teasingly. She laughs and swats at my hand. All she’d have to do is grab my arm holding it still to take a bite. But I think this game has gotten more serious than I intended it to, so I end it and give her a bite. I always found it weird for guys and girls to share straws or silverware, passing their germs back and forth. And even though this is the very thing I just did, it doesn’t feel weird. Maybe too soon though.
“Mmm, that is pretty good. Is it your favorite flavor?” I smile at the simple question, hoping to keep things light. No past, no future, just now.
“No, it’s not my favorite. But close.”
She takes a big bite and ice cream smears on her chin. I hand her a napkin from the bag but she wipes it with her finger and then licks it, making a smacking noise. “Okay, so out of all the ice cream flavors in the world, what’s your favorite?” I think long and hard. What a tough question.
“Geez, out of all the flavors in the world,” I let out a harsh breath, “that’s like asking what my favorite band is out of all the bands in the world. There are just too many to choose from. But okay, my top favorite flavor would have to be…cookies-n-cream.” I bite down on my spoon for something to do.
“I like that flavor too. But you want to know what my favorite flavor is?” She sits up, tightening my jacket around her body. “Get ready cause it’s crazy. My favorite all-time favorite flavor in the world is…” I wait in anticipation, thinking it’s one I’ve never heard of, “you can’t laugh at me.” She wiggles her finger at me.
“I promise, I won’t laugh at you. But hurry up, the wait is killing me.” I joke. She laughs. I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees, watching her hair blow in her face.
“Okay, my favorite flavor in the world is chocolate.” I try not to laugh because her attempt at being coy is endearing, but it’s still funny that she put me through suspense.
I clear my throat, “Okay, you like chocolate the best. Is there something I’m missing here? Why on earth would I laugh at you for that?”
“It’s predictable. Everyone likes chocolate. And it’s nothing special, just boring old chocolate.”
“Correction, not
everyone
likes chocolate. And second, it’s okay to be predictable. And last, chocolate is not boring. It’s the opposite of boring actually. Because that means I got something right about you.” She smiles, which makes everything I just said worth it. I’m not really a fan of chocolate, but I may start trying to be. “I’ll take a bite of that creamy stuff now, please.” Jesus Christ, that was so not subtle.
She shovels a big scoop on her spoon, bringing it to my lips. My mouth opens, welcoming the delicious cold substance. Our eyes lock when they meet, and suddenly my face feels hot, despite the cold chill in the air. If I thought about making a move, now would be the time. I look away instead, breaking the connection. I need space, breathing room. “I used to come here a lot with my mom when I was little. It’s one of the few things I remember of her. Andi and I played together while our parents talked grown up talk.” She brings her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around her legs. I feel sadness for the little girl who lost everything. I know what that’s like.
“That’s pretty awesome that you’ve been friends for so long, through everything.”
“Our parents went to school together. Our moms were pregnant around the same time, minus a few months. She’s the only family I’ve got.”
“I’m sure your dad still loves you. I think you should try talking to him again. You’ll regret it if you don’t.” She stands up. I fear I’ve pissed her off, pushing the father issue. I leave it alone.
“I want to swing.” She moves off the table carefully, removing her heels and holding her dress up to avoid tripping. I admire her backside as she walks away.
“How do you women wear those long dresses? They look so tight and suffocating.” She lifts herself up into a swing, pushing herself.
“How do you men wear tighty whiteys?” She dishes back.
“I for one do not wear those so I’m with you there. I like my manhood having breathing room. That’s a question to ask Spencer.” She giggles. I slide off the table, walk behind her moving swing, in hopes I don’t get knocked out and sit in the swing next to her, facing the opposite direction. The night is peaceful with the stars out, reminding me that I’m not in the city anymore.
“Do you ever miss it?” Catching my puzzled expression she goes on, “New York. Do you ever miss it? Living there?”
“I was just thinking how seeing the stars so brightly, I’m reminded that I’m not in the city anymore.” I begin my slow ascend. “Part of me says no, but then again, New York is all I’ve ever known. Of course it’s filled with bad memories so I should be happy to be away from there.” Away from my mistakes. “I just hope my mother is doing okay. She’s so messed up and I want her to get her shit together and be happy. I hate my father for hurting her.” Thinking about him makes my blood boil. I clench my teeth, and close my eyes. I need to calm down before I go off the deep end. This is supposed to be a good night, our first date. I need to shut his ass out of my mind.
“Noah?” Maddy’s voice jolts me back to here. I see her studying me curiously. Her swing stopped moving. Shit, I don’t want to ruin this evening. I clear my throat and turn my frown upside down. “Sorry, I zoned out for a minute. I’m good now.”