Entangled (16 page)

“As if, he lives in New York. Why would I want to even start something with someone when they live many miles away. I wonder what he’s like in bed, though.” I laugh and finish the dishes.

“Okay, you totally like him. And who says anything has to happen? Just sleep with him once and you won’t be wondering what it’s like. You’ll know.”

“Maybe one drunken night of sex won’t hurt. He’s really good-looking and nice and very funny.”

I search through my drawers for my bathing suit. This time for whatever reason, I’m feeling a little self-conscious, so I settle on my one-piece. “Ready.”

When we get to the pool, the guys are already there, dressed in swim trunks with a case of beer. I’m not in the drinking mood, but I know Andi will be.

“Oh they brought beer...you guys read my mind.”

“Spencer must have, I didn’t want any. But have at it. Otherwise, it’ll sit in my fridge for too long.”

“Whatever Noah, I’ll drink the shit out of it until it’s all gone before I leave. There’s no wasting alcohol here.” Spencer jumps into the pool. They have a volleyball net up but I didn’t think to bring a ball. Andi gets in the shallow side first. I glance at Noah, who’s lying back in the chair. “Are you getting in? Unlike the last time we were here.”

“The last time we were here, you and Landon were getting pretty cozy and I didn’t want to disturb.”

“Actually, it was he who was getting cozy. I was just trying to swim in peace. And if I remember correctly, you were a jerk.” He laughs, looking up at me. From the dim light, I can see a mischievous gleam in his eye. “You’re right, I was.” I walk away, catching the tail end of his mutter of “only because I was jealous”. He probably meant to say it under his breath, but I heard it. I don’t respond though, just get in the warm pool and swim toward Andi.

We all swim, and even Noah eventually joins us. It turns out, there was a ball in the grass we found and we play volleyball, on teams. It’s a fun night and what’s even better is the awkward tension between Noah and I disappear, and I feel like we’re friends again.

Noah

“This place is not so bad. It’s quiet. How are you adjusting?” Spencer takes a beer out of the fridge. We still have half the case from last night. Andi drank a few and Maddy, like me, had none. He plops down onto the sofa.

“I’m liking it more and more these days. It’s taken some time.”

“Yeah, I’d like it more and more too if I had a friend like Maddy. She’s hot.” The mention of her name stirs weird emotions deep within me. I’m not even sure what it means. I almost gave myself away, when I muttered my being jealous of Landon. It sort of slipped out, but it seemed like she didn’t hear me.

“She’s pretty cool. How’d you like Andi? You two seem to hit it off.”

He smiles and takes a sip of his beer, staring at me. “Oh please, pretty cool? You’re not fooling me. I know you think she’s way more than cool. If you didn’t, I’d think something was wrong with you, or maybe gay.”

I ignore his comment and flip through the channels before he can see he’s right. She is way more than cool, but she’s also way too good for me. She has goals and ambitions. I don’t even have a job right now. I have nothing to offer her. Not to mention, I don’t do the whole relationship thing.

“Do you want a beer?” He gets up and gets another one for himself. I shake my head, still flipping through the channels. There’s nothing on but I hope after a while something while catch my attention. “No, I’m good. I don’t drink much these days.”

“Okay, where the hell did my best friend go?”

“Spence, you know why I don’t.”

“Oh that’s right, it’s part of your whole change of lifestyle thing, and you were actually serious.” I shake my head. We’re supposed to got to Midnight tonight but I hadn’t hear from Maddy yet. Should I call her or text her? Would I seem too eager? God, I suck at this. There’s a knock at the door and when I open it, Andi pushes past me without a greeting. I glance at Maddy and see her apologetic smile. “Come in.”

“Hey, thanks.”

“What’s going on?” We sit down at the kitchen table. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Sure, thanks.” I glance at Andi and Spencer talking on the couch. He’s totally into her.

“So how was your day?” I ask, taking out mugs and placing the milk and sugar on the table. “Oh, same as every other day.” I know how that is. The downside of living out here is having nothing to do. We both turn our heads as Andi laughs hysterically at something Spencer said. He’s definitely a charmer, I’ll give him that. Maddy gets up and fills our cups when the pot fills up and then we sit and drink our coffee in silence.

“What’s our plan?” Spencer enters the kitchen, throwing his empty beer bottle in the trash
and faces us.

“I say we go to Midnight.” Andi leans against the wall which connects the kitchen and the living room.

“Is that a drag race or something? The name sounds very racey.”

“No, it’s a bar.” Maddy tells him and his smile widens. “Oh cool, let’s go there.” I’m getting bored with bars…or maybe with drinking. But then I think about Maddy singing and I perk up. I don’t have to drink, I can just watch her…or listen to her actually.

“Okay, well we need to get changed.” Andi says. Maddy sips on her coffee. I look at her clothes, shorts and tank top and sandals, wondering if she’s gonna change. I like what she’s wearing. But I keep my opinion to myself. Women always feel the need to wear dresses and skirts every time they go out. I find jeans and nice shirts acceptable for bar attire. But then again, what do I know? I’m just a guy. I never dress to impress.

“Maddy.” Andi says, waiting by the door for her.

“Coming.” She finishes her coffee and rinses the cup.

“Hey,” I say before she leaves, “You girls meet us by my jeep. I’ll drive tonight.”

“Okay thanks.” She smiles and closes the door behind her. When I close the door, I turn to see Spencer smirking at me. “What?”

“Oh come on, you are so into her. The tension between you two is hot.” I crinkle my forehead in irritation.

“Seriously Spencer stop saying shit like that. We’re just friends. I like hanging out with her.”

“Just admit you like her and I’ll drop it.” I wash the coffee pot, hoping he doesn’t sense my nervousness. “Fine, I like her. I may have some weird feelings for her but I’m not going to act on it” I turn to lean against the counter and cross my arms. “You happy? I like her.”

“Thank you. Now tell me why you won’t do anything about it. It’s obvious she likes you too.” I push myself off and walk to my room to find clothes. I grab my khaki’s and a concert t-shirt.

Wait a minute, I don’t dress to impress. Why am I changing?

“Sorry Noah. I’ll drop it.” He lies down on my bed. “Damn, I wanna sleep here tonight.”

An hour later we all walk into Midnight dressed. I wound up wearing my jeans and a Def Leppard concert shirt. Andi wore a dress and Maddy put on cute jeans and a navy blue tank top. I’m starting to like her taste in clothes.

We search for a table when Derrick approaches us. “Hey, Dere.” I say as we shake hands.

“What’s up guys? Who’s this?” He gestures to Spencer.

“Derrick, this is my best friend Spencer. He’s visiting.” I turn to Spencer, “Spence, this is my cousin Derrick.”

“Oh hey, what’s up? Nice to meet you.” They shake hands.

“You too. I got a table if you want to join.” We all follow him. I spot Landon shooting pool with some guys, hoping he stays there all night.

We find the table close to the stage, with a pitcher of beer sitting on top. “I’ll go get some glasses.” Derrick walks to the bar.

“We’ll be right back.” Andi and Maddy walk away, leaving me and Spencer. He sits down, observing the bar.

“It’s a quaint place here.” I nod, even though it’s just a bar, just like every other one on the planet. They all have pool tables and stages and bars. “So Maddy looks nice.”

“Don’t go there.” I say, “And quit looking at her. You have Andi to look at.” I say offensively.

“Why? You jealous?” I sneer at him. “And believe me, I am. I just don’t get why you’re not flirting with her or acting interested.”

I look away, knowing he’s right. I’m not good at flirting unless it’s to get one into bed. But I don’t want to get her into bed and that’s what is so confusing about the whole situation. The only female friend I’ve ever cared about was Lex. She was my best friend and I never saw her the way I think I could see Maddy. It’s all so unfamiliar and overwhelming. “I just don’t want to fuck this up, Spencer. She could be the friend for me Lex was. The last thing I wanna do is scare her off and be alone.”

He rubs his chin in consideration, “I guess I get it. I’m sorry for being so pushy. I think overtime, something will happen. And if it does, let it. It could be the best thing that ever happened to you.”

“Here’s some glasses.” Derrick returns to the table and Spencer begins pouring. I just sit there, replaying his words over and over.

“Do people actually sing here?”

I tilt my head, perplexed. “Yes, people actually sing here. You’ve been to a karaoke bar before.”

“Do you sing?”

“Hell no, in the shower maybe. Or in my car with the music.”

“Maddy and Andi sing.”

“Really?” Spencer glances at Derrick and then at me. I shake my head in confirmation. “I sing, when I’ve had some drinks and it’s not some Backstreet Boys shit.” Derrick adds. We laugh.

As soon as the girls come out of the bathroom, I see Landon approaching them. They point to our table; his expression darkens when he sees me. I look away, disinterested. They introduce Landon to Spencer and they each take a glass of beer and start drinking. I’ll be the only sober fucker in this joint. But I know I can be a dick when I’ve had a few too many so it’s better I don’t drink anything but water. Besides, I’m the designated driver, I have to be responsible.

“Spencer?” I search the apartment the next morning and find both Spencer and Andi in the bathroom, asleep on the floor. “What the hell?” It smells like ass and I almost vomit. “Spencer!” I shout, scaring them both.

“What the fuck?” Spencer stumbles away from Andi. She looks guilty, and embarrassed. “Shit, I gotta go. My flight is today.”

“Come on, I’ll take you.” Andi tells him. She grabs the side of her head as if fighting a headache.

“Oh yeah, Andi’s taking me to the airport. I was going to tell you, but I got drunk and forgot.” It doesn’t surprise me, but I don’t argue either. I’ll miss him and though it was a short visit, it was fun.

“Okay, you might want to take something for your hangover.” I give him medicine and help him get his stuff together, before he leaves. We say our goodbyes and talk about making plans for another time. I’m ready for the Fall now.

Noah

I come home from my aunts’ house, grab my mailbox key and check the mail. Of course there’s plenty of junk that I really don’t care to open or look at. But then I stumble across an envelope addressed to me, from New York. My eyes scan the address a few times.  I decide to take it inside and figure it out in there.

A letter from my mother. It has to be important for her to actually take time to write her only son, whom she’s neglected for so long. I set the mail on the kitchen counter and grab a beer from the fridge. I’m in the mood for alcohol right now.

I pop the top and take a swig. The beer tastes like ass, but it’s been sitting in there for a weeks now, untouched. I take another and another as my eyes are trained on the envelope. Maybe she wrote that my father died and she just wanted to let me know. That would make my day, sad but true. Heartless, yes. True nonetheless. But if that were the case, wouldn’t she call? That is news people call to deliver, I would think. I take my beer and sit on the couch, staring at the unopened letter. I need to open it. It’s no use in prolonging the inevitable. It’s taunting me. I set my beer down on the coffee table and pick up the letter, running my fingers along the edge, careful not to get a paper cut. With a loud sigh, I tear it open and read the words my mother probably wrote while drinking.
Here goes nothing
, I say to myself.

Dear Noah,

You don’t know how many times I’ve looked for your car. You don’t know how many times I’ve wished your moving was just a dream, but I know it’s not. It’s real, you’re gone and it’s my fault. I’m so sorry I wasn’t the mother I should have been all these years. You have every reason to hate me and not want to believe anything I say. It’s taken you to move away for me to realize how much I’ve screwed up. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through so much without parents who took the time to care for you and show you the love you deserve. I know you think your father doesn’t love you and maybe he doesn’t but I do and always have. Our divorce was never your fault. Your birth was never your fault or not something to be resented for. I should have been there at least. I was so consumed with my own problems that I didn’t think about you and what you must have been feeling and going through. I just turned to alcohol, hoping to cope with everything. When that didn’t help, I turned to men, hoping that would just numb my pain. I should have realized that you needed me more and I wasn’t the only one affected by your father’s decision to leave. I’m sorry and I know that’s not enough Noah. I know it. I love you, which is why I thought it would be best if you got a fresh start somewhere else, away from all the bad memories and heartache…and me. I hope you’re happy, my little boy. I remember being so excited when I was told I was having a son. I wanted one in the world’s worst way. I only wished I could have shown you when you were younger. I wanted a mama’s boy who thought I was the only thing he needed in life. I failed.