Embrace Me At Dawn (4 page)

The smile that had crept over her face faded. Now she was going to join the fight, expend the energy to train—and she would need to replenish her energy as frequently as Lucan once had. Did he still require that much energy? She winced at the pain of that thought.

“
I’ll find a surrogate.” Though she found that thought distasteful, too. Letting some strange wizard paw her… Unlike most of her kind, she’d only ever taken two lovers. Shock had been her first, had seen her though the transition into magic, and cared for her until she’d mated with Lucan. After Mathias’s brutal, repeated assault and a hundred years of mating, she didn’t know how she’d accept another wizard’s touch.

Bram shook his head. “Whatever Shock’s issues, he’ll keep you safe when you’re not here. I don’t have the resources or energy to expend worrying about you alone at night or with some strange wizard who might deliver you up to Mathias. I might hate Shock, but he’d never want to see you hurt. Besides, I know Shock is capable of giving you what you need.”

Anka swallowed. If Bram only knew the half of it… Shock not only gave her what she needed—and now craved in order to cleanse her soul—but he wielded it like a weapon, doling it out sparingly, withholding it until she caved into whatever his demands of the moment were and she begged sweetly. No surrogate could give her what Shock could. They’d probably be horrified if she asked.

If she wanted to fight Mathias and get her revenge, she would have to swallow her pride.

“
All right, then. I’ll return to Shock.”

“
I’ll allow you to train with us. As to whether you fight…that will be up to me, Marrok, and whoever teaches you. If we think you’re not ready, you’ll stay behind. This isn’t a democracy.”

Nothing with Bram ever was. She’d have to earn the right to fight. “No coddling me because I’m female or because I’m your best friend’s former mate.”

He smiled. “No mercy asked, no mercy given.”

Anka sent him a sharp nod, and Bram looked her over. She was aware of her demure beige skirt, delicate heels, silk blouse, riot of curls. Without a word, he cataloged everything wrong with her wardrobe and general appearance.

“
I’ll be dressed in something appropriate.”

He nodded as if that was a given. “And come with energy. If you’re not ready, you’re out.”

Energy. From Shock. Tonight. Right, then.

Bram stared with a raised brow, and it took Anka a moment to realize that she’d been dismissed. She turned and made her way off of Bram’s estate, then teleported back to the one place—to the one man—she dreaded having to beg again. But she had no doubt Shock would make her plead for everything he gave her. And he’d enjoy the hell out of it. Tears fell as she opened his door.

~ ~ ~ ~

The summons to join Bram in his office had come not a moment too soon. Lucan had been ready to lose his mind. What the hell had Bram said to Anka?

Before he could confront his friend, the rest of the Doomsday Brethren filed in, many joined by their mates. Olivia curled up on Marrok’s lap on a sofa in the corner, the human warrior no doubt enjoying a rare opportunity to touch her in the middle of the day. Ice filed in, holding Sabelle’s hand. She looked pink and flushed and deliriously happy. Envy pierced Lucan—and a strange relief. He wanted what they had, but was glad that Sabelle had refused to mate with him after Anka had been lost. The move would have been politically expedient, yes. It would have helped magickind. But they would have made one another miserable.

Raiden and Ronan both filed in with a fist bump for him.

“
Where are Kari and Tabitha?” he asked.

“
Kari is at The Witch’s Brew, preparing for the Friday night crowd,” said Ronan, the woman’s mate, of the bar she owned and ran in London.

“
And Tabby isn’t feeling well. I think the youngling growing inside my she-cat is already giving her hell.”

“
It will serve you right if it’s a girl,” Ronan snickered to his twin.

Raiden punched his brother’s shoulder a bit harder than playfully. Bram broke it up by clearing his throat and sending them a pointed look.

Duke led Felicia in. He propped his length against the wall, drew his lovely wife’s back to his chest, and whispered something in her ear that made her blush. Finally, his own brother strolled in with his mate, fiery-haired Sydney. The couple’s eyes met and held, and Lucan could actually feel the love flowing between them. It was tender and passionate and so thick it damn near choked him.

He’d had that once. But he hadn’t protected Anka. Now she was lost to him forever, warming that motherfucker Shock’s bed. He had no one to blame but himself. Of course she’d be terrified to come home to the man who had failed her. In her shoes, he’d avoid himself, too.

That fact hurt like hell.

Caden and Sydney stood beside him, a silent show of support. She cupped his shoulder. “You know I love you, but you look ghastly.”

No doubt. Anka’s visit here had truly riled his temper. How could he want someone so badly who had chosen to give herself and her love to one of the worst wankers ever to disgrace magickind? Who had chosen his rival, his enemy?

“
Thanks, Syd. I can always trust you to sugarcoat things.” He smiled wryly.

“
That’s my mate.” Caden slipped an arm around her waist.

“
Thank you for coming so quickly,” Bram said to everyone. “And thanks to you lovely ladies for being here on short notice. We have several situations you should know about. I’ll need to ask you for help.”

“
You don’t have to ask,” Olivia assured, still perched on Marrok’s lap.

“
Of course not, brother.” Sabelle smiled from Ice’s embrace. “We’ll help however we can.”

“
I’ll hold you to that. It may be dull work, indeed. But I need you to pour through every one of Merlin’s tomes and any Morganna folklore you can. It may not only mean the difference between life and death, but between our civilization and extinction.”

Beside him, Sydney sucked in a breath. “Of course we’re going to help.”

Lucan only wished that Anka wanted to assist their cause in that capacity. But no. She wanted to fight. He could only hope that Bram had refused her.

“
I daresay, with stakes that high, even these big wizards wouldn’t object to cracking a book,” Sabelle murmured.

“
Normally, yes. But we’ll have other pressing matters,” Bram corrected. “According to Shock, Mathias regrets Morganna’s resurrection and can’t put the bitch down by himself. We’ve been asked to help.”

“
Is he fucking serious?” Ice growled, his nearly-shaved head giving his hollow cheeks an even starker, angrier appearance.

Bram sighed. “Yes. I didn’t give him an answer yet. I want to see what we can do without his ‘help’ first. So if you ladies will search, we’ll keep training and start scouting for Morganna’s location. If we can get to her when she’s resting, powering up, somehow vulnerable…”

Bram didn’t finish the sentence, but Lucan could finish it for him. Even if they managed to find Morganna, she wasn’t going to be put down easily. Finding her might just be their death sentence.

“
You’re seriously going to trust information coming from the bastard who recently killed one of our own?” Caden challenged him, then looked at Lucan. “Who took my brother’s mate and—”

“
I know. But it’s not as if we can’t read about Morganna’s exploits ourselves.” Bram reached behind him and picked up the latest copies of
The Sun
and
Out of This Realm
. “Her antics are front-page news. She is dangerous and doesn’t seem to care if she exposes us all to humankind. That cannot happen, no matter what the cost.”

No one argued with that. No one could.

“
And we’re still one less warrior since Mathias killed Tynan,” Bram pointed out.

“
He’s ready for burial,” Sabelle said sadly. “I’ve contacted his younger brother, Asher. He should be here soon. He’s asking questions about the Council and the Doomsday Brethren.”

“
I’ll deal with him,” Bram promised. “But as I’ve said, we’re still a fighter short and—”

“
Anka is
not
replacing him.” Lucan had only meant to think the words, but they came out in a roar. Suddenly, he was inches from Bram’s face, and Caden was holding him back with a tight grip.

“
Down, brother.” Caden jerked on his arm.

Inside, he was seething, ready to beat Bram to a bloody pulp. Instead, he stood and dragged in huge breaths, trying to get his temper under control.

“
And you wonder why I think you’re not quite ready to fight?” Bram raised a brow.

Lucan bristled. Damn it, he hated feeling this on edge, off balance. Ever since Anka...
No
. He shoved the thought away. She was gone. Blaming her for his lack of self-control was foolish.

Finally, he rocked back on his heels and unclenched his fists. Slowly, Caden let go.

Bram’s expression softened. “I appreciate that this is hard for you. I love Anka like a sister, but I’ve spoken to her. She knows the risks. She’s agreed to the conditions I’ve attached. If Marrok, her trainer, and I think she can’t function as a fighter, she never makes it into battle.”

Relief poured through Lucan, and he smiled wide. Leave it to Bram to find the loophole. Then his eyes narrowed. “Her trainer?”

Now it was Bram’s turn to smile. “You.”

At that, Lucan laughed. She’d never see a moment of combat. Even if Bram and Marrok didn’t back him on this, he’d simply say Anka wasn’t ready to fight, and she’d stay behind, tucked away safely from Mathias. Because he’d do anything to keep her from harm’s way again.

“
Perfect.”

Bram shook his head. “You actually have to train her—hand to hand, martial arts, weaponry and the like—and you must do it thoroughly. Anka has fight in her. I think she’s smart enough. She’s agile. You could help her to be strong and prepared.”

“
Fuck no! I’ll do it in name only. I’ll put her through her paces, teach her to defend herself. All the women should know that, but there’s no damn way—”

“
This isn’t your choice, Lucan. As I told Anka earlier when she protested my conditions, this isn’t a democracy. You must prepare her for battle. We might genuinely need her.”

In combat? He wanted to swear again. No, he wanted to throw something at Bram and hit him in his perfectly implacable face.

“
Don’t look at me like that. I’m giving you a choice: I can find another to work with her closely every…single…day. Or you can take advantage of this opportunity to spend time with her again and see what comes of it. Your choice. But frankly, I think you need it. You need her. I’m giving you what might be your last chance. I suggest you take it.”

Chapter
Two

Anka was shaking by the time she reached Shock’s house. Not at the idea of training or fighting or sweaty, hard work. She relished those opportunities. But being so close to Lucan every day. She sighed. She’d have to tamp down her yearning, try to steer clear of him. With a magical war to fight and not one, but two, rapaciously evil villains trying to tear down humankind and enslave everyone magical, her personal desires simply weren’t important. If she angered or distracted Lucan, he wouldn’t be as focused on fighting—or protecting himself—as he must be. She had to keep everything inside. At least for now. Shock would drag it out of her eventually. Of that, she had no doubt.

As she wiped her tears away, Anka glanced through the little house she shared with Shock. It was empty. Not that she actually needed to look. The dead silence hanging over the place told her that instantly. When Shock was here, he filled the space with his big presence. The still air around her told her that, after leaving Bram’s, Shock hadn’t returned here.