The Listmaker

Also by Robin Klein

People Might Hear You

Hating Alison Ashley

Halfway Across the Galaxy and Turn Left

Games
…

Laurie Loved Me Best

Against the Odds

Came Back to Show You I Could Fly

Tearaways

All in the Blue Unclouded Weather

Dresses of Red and Gold

Turn Right for Zyrgon

Seeing Things

The Sky in Silver Lace

Barney's Blues

At old address

1. Don't let Aunt Dorothy sit on any of the packed boxes in case of breakages.
   
2. Ring vet to make sure Horace isn't too upset about being left there. Remind him Horace won't eat any dried cat-food except kitten formula.
   
3. Pack separate box of afternoon-tea things for removalist people: instant coffee, teabags, biscuits, electric kettle, milk, sugar, teaspoons, cups, tea-towel – put in car boot. Also pack personal items needed while waiting at the new address for the van: something to read, fruit to eat (plus toothbrush and toothpaste for cleaning teeth afterwards), sweater in case of weather change, cleaning stuff (soap, sponge, broom, detergent, plastic gloves), tissues, memo pad and pen.
   
4. Drive to new address with aunts. Don't let Aunty Nat get out of the car even for
   one minute
   ! She'll just skip around planning where to arrange the furniture. Send her right back
   immediately
   to previous address to finish off all the odd jobs there.
   

At new address

1. Sit Aunt Dorothy down somewhere out of the way. (NB Make sure she hasn't sneaked cigarettes in.)
   
2. Unpack box of afternoon-tea things. (NB Scrub down kitchen bench first.)
   
3. Check that water, gas, phone and electricity have been connected.
   
4. Ring vet to make sure Horace's condition hasn't changed since last call. (Remind him Horace might like a whisked egg for breakfast tomorrow morning as a change from kitten formula.)
   

∙ ∙ ∙ ∙

There was no sign of Aunty Nat, even though it was an hour after the fixed time. She'd dropped us off at Avian Cottage so someone would be on hand for the furniture van when it arrived. ‘Us' was me and her sister Dorothy. Aunt Dorothy was about as much use as a ladder without rungs, but I thought uneasily that it might have been better if they'd
both
gone back to the old address to make sure nothing was left behind. Then Aunty Nat wouldn't be on her own to deal with any emergency. Vacuuming, checking cupboards and saying goodbye to old neighbours shouldn't be taking her so long …

‘I expect it's just some kind of trouble about fitting everything in the van,' Aunt Dosh said. ‘No need for jitters yet, Sarah.'

‘Who's jittery?' I demanded crossly. ‘And there's no point unpacking the afternoon-tea things yet, not until that bench dries. I've just given it a good scrub with pine detergent. You can't be too careful about germs in a house that's been empty for months.'

I liked things to be tidy and hygienic. The most absolutely disgusting sight I ever saw was enlarged dust mites on a TV documentary. It upset me so much I bought a plastic mattress barrier, because Aunty Nat refused to give me one as a birthday present. She said that unless you were asthmatic, dust mites weren't anything to worry about. But then,
she'd
actually thought they looked kind of cute in that TV documentary – like herds of little grazing buffalo! Probably every surface in this old house was swarming with little grazing buffalo. I'd have to put up with them, too, for the whole of the summer holidays, because of staying with the aunts while Dad was overseas. He was often away on long business trips. Most term holidays and weekends I spent with the aunts, and the rest of the time I boarded at school, which I'd been doing ever since I was eight years old. For a couple of years before that, Aunty Nat had looked after me. There wasn't anyone else; my mother had died when I was five years old.

‘Those biscuits are supposed to be for the removalists – if they ever get here,' I scolded Aunt Dorothy. ‘If you're going to nick any, don't leave a trail of crumbs.'

You had to tidy up after her all the time.
Both
the aunts were exasperating in their own separate ways. Soon, though, things would be different. When Dad came back from this particular business trip he was getting married to Piriel Starr, and we'd all be moving to a city apartment. (Just us three, I mean. Not the ancient relatives –
they'd
be pottering around in this rackety old house Aunty Nat had bought.) Things would be different, and
wonderful
. I wouldn't have to board at school any more because it was fairly close to our apartment. I'd just be an ordinary student there from now on, coming home every afternoon. And I'd have the most glamorous new stepmother in the world, too. Piriel Starr – even her name was more distinctive than other people's! It was hard to believe that such exciting changes were about to happen in my life, and although I could hardly wait, I was also feeling a little bit nervous about the whole thing. It wasn't surprising, really. A set routine that had been going on for years was difficult to break, and deep down, I was secretly relieved to have a few more weeks with the aunts before my lifestyle changed.

‘Eating sugar out of the jar!' I nagged. ‘
And
you've gone and spilled some on the floor, Aunt Dosh.'

‘I've got to do
something
if I'm not allowed to have a cigarette. Or even one lousy biscuit. They'll be tramping in with the furniture soon, so I don't know why you're fussing about a few little grains of sugar, Sarah. When I had my caravan, I only used to sweep it out once a week.'

Years ago, before moving in with Aunty Nat to keep her company, Aunt Dosh had been living in a tacky caravan park. At least Dad had said it was tacky. I didn't see it personally, because he'd never let me visit her there. (Come to think of it, neither had Dad.) He thought Avian Cottage wasn't much better than a caravan, either, and couldn't understand why they both wanted to move from Aunty Nat's comfortable brick unit. They'd been out on a drive, seen this old house for sale, and just decided on the spot that it was their dream home. Or at least Aunty Nat's ideal home – Aunt Dorothy floated around in a permanent dream of her own and didn't seem to mind where she lived.

I went out on the front porch to see if the furniture van was in sight yet. That porch looked like a battered old mantel clock. It had curly posts on each side with all the paint flaking off, and a name plate spelling out Avian Cottage in gold squiggles. (And in case you didn't know that ‘avian' means birds, the metal doorknocker was shaped like a budgerigar to get the message across.) There was still no sign of the van, though having Aunty Nat underfoot when you were trying to load up a pile of furniture might account for it being so late. Neither of the aunts were what you could call efficient.

Three examples (out of hundreds!):

1. Aunt Dorothy went into shops and couldn't remember what she'd wanted to buy in the first place.
   
2. Aunty Nat sometimes took her apron off and found another one underneath.
   
3. Once they'd gone to New Zealand for a holiday and it took them a couple of days to realise they had to adjust their watches.
   

But even for the most disorganised person, it was still only a half-hour drive at the most from the old address … I began to bite my nails.

Strangers were coming up the footpath. There was a man and a woman carrying an old swing-couch between them, and a kid about my age following behind with a stack of plastic cushions. They were talking to each other in that kind of shorthand people who belong together use, where you feel an outsider just by listening.

‘Should have come back for the trailer.'

‘Someone else might have got there first. Bit of a find, right on the holidays.'

‘Can't it go in
my
room?'

‘You've got enough junk in there already. The veranda, or maybe down under the ash tree. Get
off,
Corrie, you dag!'

‘Carry me home the last bit. Go on, Dad, be a sport.'

‘Let's park
her
out the front with a freebie sign.'

‘No takers.'

‘
Plenty
of takers. They'd think she was a garden gnome.'

Their hands touched as they put the load down and hoisted it up again. Their voices overlapped, blending into each other. You could tell they were a family, even without eavesdropping. The girl had one of those cheerful faces, all beams, big front teeth, and cheeks pushed up into shiny apples. I'd always found kids my age who looked like that a bit depressing. It was as though they were shining a torch right in my eyes. They hadn't noticed me on the front steps, and I was glad about it. If they were neighbours, I might have had to say hello, and I wasn't very good at stuff like that.

There was no sign of the van or Aunty Nat, so I occupied my mind by making a list. Lists were excellent therapy for any stressful situation. Like a visit to the dentist, for instance; an alphabetical list of clothing, multiplied by five, seemed to be just the right length for a dental check-up. By the time you'd got to windcheater, waistcoat, waterproof coat, Wellington boots and wristband, the dentist had usually reached the stage of telling you to have a final rinse and spit. X, Y and Z were a bit of a challenge as far as clothing went; so were K, I and Q. But even after I'd managed to think up some new articles to meet that challenge, like X-ray gown, yashmak and zircon ring, Aunty Nat still hadn't come. I switched to an alphabetical careers list, sitting on the porch steps, where I could watch the road.

Admiral, baker, carpenter, dancer, engineer, factory worker …

Aunt Dorothy worked on a factory assembly line, putting electrical goods together. She'd been doing that same job for years, and never complained that it was boring. (Probably she liked it because microwave ovens and blenders didn't expect you to make conversation with them.)

Gardener, hairdresser, inventor, jackaroo, kindergarten teacher, laboratory technician, manager …

Dad was a section manager at the firm where he worked. I wasn't sure what he did exactly; it was something called marketing analysis. But I
did
know that to get promoted to section manager, you'd have to be highly organised and also punctual – not like Aunty Nat, who was an hour and a half overdue by now!

Naturopath, optometrist, police officer, real estate agent…

Piriel Starr was a real estate agent – and I bet she would have made it all the way to being an admiral, too, if she'd ever thought about joining the navy instead. Perhaps I'd be a real estate agent/business executive like her when I left school, then I could have smart little cards with my name printed on them. When I'd mentioned that to Aunty Nat, though, she said twelve was far too young to be worrying about a profession, and that I should just ‘light up' and enjoy myself more. (I think she really meant ‘lighten up', but she often got trendy phrases wrong. I was pretty sure she wasn't referring to cigarettes, as she spent a lot of time trying to persuade Aunt Dorothy to give up smoking.)

‘You've found a nice little possy, Sarah,' Aunt Dorothy said, clattering outside and sitting down beside me. ‘You know, I think I'll go nuts if I don't have a cigarette!'

‘You can't while you're wearing those nicotine patches. It said so on the packet.'

‘The rotten things don't work like they claim they do.'

‘Don't you
dare
peel it off! You've lasted since breakfast, so you can hang on a bit longer.'

‘Maybe the chemist gave me a faulty batch …'

‘They wouldn't sell people faulty ones, so don't make excuses. All you've got to do is think about something else. For instance, do you think twelve's too young to plan a career?'

‘Can't say I ever thought about careers much when I was your age. Homework was enough of a hassle to get through.'

‘Piriel knew she wanted to be a businesswoman when she was still in primary school,' I said. ‘She told me how it started. She auctioned off her Barbie doll collection and made over a hundred dollars. Charging extra for the ones with special features like Hawaiian suntan or crimped hair, of course. Then she put the hundred dollars in a high-return investment account. Don't you think that was smart for someone still in primary school?'

‘She's a very smart cookie. I guess she's just one of those people who know how to get it all together,' Aunt Dorothy said, not sounding as impressed as she should have been.

Piriel was now one of the top sales people at an inner-suburban real estate firm which handled expensive townhouses, renovated warehouses and beautiful Edwardian mini-mansions. She knew just about everything there was to be known in the real estate business, just as she knew a lot about everything else, too. She could manage any situation with fingertip control.

The aunts didn't ever seem to be in control of situations – they just muddled through whatever was happening. Aunty Nat had even mucked up a simple little job like getting herself out of one house and into another! Maybe, though, something had gone seriously wrong and it wasn't her fault … Perhaps the removalists hadn't been sure of the way, so she'd volunteered to drive in front and show them. (Those removalists weren't even a proper professional firm out of the telephone directory, either. They were just a couple of unemployed nephews belonging to someone in Aunty Nat's card-playing group. She was doing them a good turn, so they'd have extra money for Christmas. The van was just a hired one, too.) There were a lot of steep roads in Parchment Hills, where Avian Cottage was. Maybe … maybe the van's brakes had failed coming down one of those hills and pancaked the little car the aunts shared between them to save on running costs. I suddenly saw objects littering a roadside, all in sharp detail, as though someone had just handed me a high-quality photograph. An embroidered spectacles case, a floral chiffon scarf, one shoe lying all by itself in the gravel, a handbag patterned with a big tyre mark …

‘Stonemason, travel consultant, university professor, vet, weather forecaster, X-ray technician, yachtsman, zoologist,' I gabbled feverishly under my breath.

‘If I'd had the choice of a career, I would have picked gardening,' Aunt Dorothy said. ‘Oh look, there's a nice little clump of blue irises down there in all the weeds.'