Authors: Carol Rivers
‘
Ark Royal
sunk! Read all about it. Torpedoed by Italian U-boat.’
Pearl bought a paper. ‘Is this true?’ she asked the old man as he cuffed the drip from his nose.
‘It ain’t no false alarm,’ he nodded. ‘They got her this time. Eighteen of our lads are missing. S’pose we got to be thankful it ain’t as bad as the
Hood.
Nearly fifteen ’undred went down on her.’
Pearl remembered only too well the heart-dropping morning in May when news came through that the German battleship
Bismarck
had sunk the prestigious
Hood.
So many lives had been lost. Jim had come round to Roper’s Way with the news and they’d all sat in silence as he’d read out the gruesome details of the battle cruiser’s demise.
Pearl could hardly bring herself to read on. But there it was in black and white. The
Ark Royal
had been torpedoed and sunk just off Gibraltar. So many claims had been made by the Axis forces before, but now she had finally gone.
‘Our navy ain’t gonna find that sub,’ pointed out the vendor angrily. ‘Not like they cornered the
Bismarck
after chasing her for two days. Crippled by a torpedo bomber attack, she was. Didn’t have nowhere to run with our navy and airforce at her heels. But a sub! Who’s gonna know what one it was? Long gorn by now, anyway.’
Pearl walked away with a heavy heart. Not only for the loss of the great aircraft carrier and crew but for all their families. It was a terrible tragedy, and just before Christmas too. Then she remembered Ricky, on a ship in the Arctic. Was it bad of her to wish that he too would go down on his ship? Ruby hadn’t said she’d heard from him lately. The U-boats were picking off the convoys’ escorts and then the merchant ships. The papers said that the German submarines had our navy at their mercy. Any survivors from the sunken ships were often left in the ocean to die. She thought of Ricky slipping below the freezing waves, but then felt ashamed. How could she wish someone dead? It was a dreadful thing to think.
When Gwen and Fitz beckoned her into the shop, Pearl knew that it would be to discuss the tragic happening at sea. Fitz was very upset and put up the closed sign. They stood listening to the Home Service news on the wireless. Pearl and Gwen had tears in their eyes. Half an hour later, as she climbed the stairs and stood on the landing outside her door, the mist was thickening around the yard. There were fog horns sounding on the river. Slowly the roof tops disappeared under a yellow fog. The strong smell of smoking chimneys was mixed with an undercurrent of disinfectant. That meant the bugs were rampant. The use of naphtha was an attempt to kill them as they hugged the wet patches on walls. Pearl shivered.
Quietly she said a prayer for all the souls who had died at sea, then let herself in. The kitchen smelled of mould. Despite all Jim had done to improve it, the walls were spawning a fungus. The yellow gingham curtains were stained at their hems and she looked cautiously round for scuttling black bodies.
Suddenly the door opened and Jim stood there, his broad shoulders buried under his donkey jacket. He rammed the door shut, giving a sigh of relief to be inside.
‘Christ, love, you gave me a shock, sitting there in the gloom. Why don’t you put the light on?’
‘Have you heard the news?’ she replied half-heartedly.
‘The
Ark Royal
?’ He nodded and flicked down the light switch.
Pearl felt an uncontrollable sob in her chest. She put her hands up to her face.
In a moment Jim was beside her. He took her in his arms and pushed back the lock of hair on her face. ‘What’s up, Pearly-girl?’ He held her so tightly she could hardly breathe.
‘War does such terrible things,’ she mumbled, leaning in to him. ‘All those poor sailors and their families . . .’ She still felt guilty about secretly wishing Ricky was dead.
‘It’s something we have to live with, love.’
‘But how long will it all go on?’
‘Come on, now,’ he said, holding her away from him and wiping a tear from her cheek with his thumb. ‘This ain’t like you.’
She nodded. ‘Daft, ain’t I?’
‘Now, there’s nothing that can be done, and I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t mind a little light relief from the day?’
‘There’s no dinner ready yet,’ she said, feeling even more guilty.
He laughed. ‘That’s not the kind of relief I meant.’
‘Oh, Jim, I love you so much.’ She threw her arms round his neck. ‘You always say the right thing.’
‘Dunno about that, but I’m bloody freezing. Let’s go where it’s warm.’ He lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed.
‘What about me clothes?’ she laughed.
‘Leave them to me. Get under.’
In no time at all they were making love and he was kissing every inch of her body. Pearl forgot her misery and guilt as Jim made her forget the world and Ricky too.
Later they sat together beside the fire and Jim spoiled her with slices of bread and dripping, and, thanks to Gwen, an extra helping of sugar in their tea.
She had no regrets about buying a new dress now. What did it matter? You had to live every minute as though it was your last. She might even go to market, where coupons weren’t necessary, and look for a coat. Ruby was right: there were bargains to be had if you searched hard enough.
Before long they had run out of coal. Rather than go down in the foggy dark to get some, they climbed back in bed. Feeling happier, Pearl linked her arms around her husband’s waist and smiled. They had the whole night to lie in each other’s arms.
By the time the dance came round, Pearl had bought a new wardrobe, including a grey second-hand astrakhan coat with a velvet collar, which looked out of this world. Parading around the living room with only her bra and French knickers on underneath, she’d had a very positive response from Jim. He hadn’t cared a fig that she’d broken into the housekeeping. Instead he’d assured her that he was a lucky man to have such an adventurous wife.
On the afternoon of the dance, Pearl prepared well in advance. Jim had said he would be home by four o’clock and she managed to leave work before twelve thirty. The bus brought her home in ten minutes and she hurried to drag in the tin bath. But in her haste she forgot the fire. She was freezing by the time Jim came home.
‘Blimey, did I take the wrong turning? Is this the North Pole?’ He rubbed his gloved hands together.
‘I had a bath and forgot the fire,’ Pearl admitted as she shivered in her towel.
Jim threw down his things and laughed. ‘I’ll soon warm you up.’
Pearl giggled through chattering teeth. ‘Trust you, Jim Nesbitt.’
‘Don’t say I ain’t obliging.’
‘I’ve got me hair to dry yet.’
Jim kissed her. ‘I like you just the way you are.’
‘I’m a dope, that’s what. Fancy forgetting the fire.’
He lifted the strands of her wet hair. ‘You know what, you’re just like a playful puppy. And that’s what makes me love you. I wanna look after you and see those sweet lips turn up in a smile.’
Pearl giggled even though she was freezing. And it wasn’t long before they were kissing and cuddling. By the time they thought about going out, they were starving. Jim’s tummy was rumbling as he tried to loop his tie in the mirror. Pearl felt excited despite her hunger as she smoothed down the skirt of her black dress.
When Jim turned round she took a breath at the sight of her handsome husband. He’d definitely lost weight since they’d married. But it suited him better than when he stuffed himself full of his mother’s cooking. Not that Jim had lived at home much before they’d married, as he’d travelled round a lot and lived in digs. She straightened his tie. ‘That’s better. It’s the woman’s touch that counts.’
‘I’ll have your touch any day.’
‘You’re a lemon, you are.’
‘Gonna squeeze me, then?’
‘Don’t start that again,’ she giggled. ‘We’re late already. We’ll have to have something to eat at the dance as I ain’t got time to cook.’
‘I can live on love,’ Jim teased her. ‘Can I kiss you?’
‘No, I’ve just put me lipstick on.’
Laughing, he caught her wrist and, running his gaze over her, he said huskily, ‘My God, Pearl, you’re an eyeful. I still don’t know how I managed to make you me missus, but somehow I did. Are you happy, Pearly-girl?’
‘Course I am.’
‘Tell me you love me.’
‘I’m always telling you that.’
He smirked. ‘And if you dance with anyone else tonight, tell them to behave themselves or they’ll have Jim Nesbitt to deal with.’
Pearl was still smiling as she put the finishing touches to her hair. She couldn’t wait to dance and enjoy herself at a real do. At least Ruby had agreed to join them, even though she said she didn’t feel like dancing as she hadn’t heard from Ricky. Once again, Pearl’s guilty thoughts came back. Would Ruby really be broken-hearted if he didn’t survive? Or would she get over him quicker than she thought?
Pearl sighed, shaking her head as if to dispel all the irrational thoughts. The dance hadn’t come a moment too soon; after last year’s bombing, everyone needed a good Christmas.
Pearl hadn’t ever been inside the hall of the Friends’ Meeting Place where the dance was held. But she knew the Victorian building had served many purposes in wartime. During the Blitz it had been bombed several times. After being hastily repaired, the large wooden floor and wide stage, with its heavy curtains, were often in use. Tonight there were Christmas decorations pinned from wall to wall and a large Christmas tree stood just inside. There were chairs and tables set out along the perimeter for refreshments, and a small anteroom next to the kitchen had become a bar.
‘There’s a wonderful turn-out,’ Pearl said excitedly, breathless from their brisk walk. She clutched both Ruby and Jim’s arms and they joined the long queue. ‘I’m gonna dance you off your feet tonight, Jim.’
‘Now then, gel,’ chuckled Jim, ‘don’t forget you’re a married lady.’
Pearl laughed. ‘That don’t make any difference. Not when you haven’t been out for months.’
The only reminder of war seemed to be the row of gas masks hanging on the wall in the lavatories. No one ever bothered about masks after the first weeks of war. The cumbersome apparatus was more of a hindrance than a help. Ruby and Pearl giggled as an elderly lady, reluctant to leave hers unattended, asked the cloakroom girl if it would be safe.
When they’d handed over their coats, Ruby and Pearl squeezed in front of the mirror. Ruby looked lovely, Pearl thought, as they attended to their make-up. She wore a lime-green, slim-fitting evening gown. It was more thirties than forties, but the green matched Ruby’s colouring perfectly. Her cheeks were flushed and her blonde hair, unlike Pearl’s shoulder-length style, was clipped up into a glossy roll. Pearl wondered if she’d heard from Ricky yet, although nothing had been said. At least she had agreed to come to the dance. So was there hope she was forgetting him?
Before long they were hustled out of the way by other girls eager to look in the mirror.
‘Is that another new dress?’ Ruby asked Pearl as they walked out.
‘What do you mean, another one?’
‘Well, you’re always buying something.’
Pearl grinned. ‘I like to keep me husband’s interest.’
Ruby grinned too. ‘You manage that all right. He only has eyes for you.’
Pearl felt proud. She was so lucky to have an attentive man at her side.
‘What about Jim? Don’t he ever want a new suit?’ asked Ruby as they made their way through the big doors.
‘He’s got a new shirt,’ Pearl teased. ‘I had to hide his overalls tonight so he couldn’t find them.’
They were still giggling as they found themselves inside the hall, with the tables and chairs arranged down either side. The band was warming up at the far end and Ruby clutched Pearl’s arm. ‘Look, there’s Em and Moira.’
They waved and went to join them. As Pearl looked round she could see a few familiar faces. Amongst them were one or two young men. There would be no excuse for Ruby not to dance. Perhaps tonight she would meet someone who would make her forget all about Ricky.
The four girls were talking when Jim arrived with the drinks. ‘I got in a round early,’ he told them as he lowered the tray. ‘Shandy it is, girls – not much in the way of choice, I’m afraid, but I count meself a lucky man tonight, having four lovely ladies to entertain.’ His eyes twinkled and a big smile stretched across his face. Pearl liked to hear him flirt because she was proud of him and knew she could trust him. Sometimes she couldn’t believe this handsome man was her husband!
The band had been belting out music all evening – Glenn Miller, Joe Loss, Ted Heath, Jack Hylton and even George Formby. The jitterbug, from America, had been the most popular dance. All the young couples had swung themselves up and down the floor, including Pearl and Jim. And though Jim hadn’t quite thrown Pearl over his head, as some of the male dancers did their partners, they had joined in as energetically as the others. Pearl thought that even Ruby looked as though she was enjoying herself. It hadn’t taken long for a young man to ask her to dance and she hadn’t refused.
The good-looking singer of the band had attracted some admirers. He was dressed in a white jacket, black trousers and black bow tie. The small group of young women from the typing pool stood watching him. He crooned out the old favourites as he stood in the spotlight; ‘I’ll Be Seeing You’, ‘We’ll Meet Again’ and ‘Run Rabbit Run’, followed by the sentimental tunes like ‘Dinah’, ‘Say It (Over and Over Again)’ and ‘Whispering Grass’. Ray James, the leader of the band, a small man with a moustache, kept the three saxophone players, two trombonists, one drummer and pianist playing without a pause. But when the food was served at nine o’clock the band took a break.