East End Angel (3 page)

Pearl watched as Jim tried to jolly along the conversation. The going was tough. Mrs Nesbitt’s face was easy to read. How could her son have been so unwise as to marry beneath him, marry a person whose family lived in Roper’s Way, a three-up, two-down terrace blackened by the chimneys of the Millwall factories and within spitting distance of the nearest public house? Her son was destined for far greater things in life. Jim’s dad had been an engineer also. His job had brought ownership of their detached house in Villa Road. Their neighbours hadn’t been costermongers or dockers, but piano-playing spinsters and retired businessmen.

A smile touched Pearl’s lips as more guests filled the room and Jim and his mother were lost to sight. Marrying into the Jenkins family was one fight that Jim had won, but it was clear there would be many more ahead. Pearl was still smiling at the thought when there was a light touch on her arm.

Her heart jumped as she turned and gazed into the dark eyes of Ricky Winters.

Ricky smiled and time stood still. Pearl thought how the naval uniform gave him an authority he hadn’t possessed before, a dangerous attribute for someone already as self-possessed and arrogant as he.

‘Could we talk?’ he asked.

‘There’s nothing to say,’ Pearl shrugged, glancing quickly round to see if she was being observed.

‘I’d like to explain why I’m here.’

‘I don’t want to know,’ Pearl answered, shifting her position so that she was well hidden.

‘Pearl, I completely understand, I really do. But I’d like to put the past behind us. I know it’s a lot to ask. But for Ruby’s sake I think we should.’

She could hardly believe he’d said that. ‘You’ve got a damn cheek, Ricky!’

‘Please – give me another chance.’

‘What for? A chance to do to Ruby what you did to me?’

‘I know how bitter you must feel—’

‘You don’t know anything,’ Pearl retorted, her mouth dry and cheeks hot. ‘You’ve got a nerve to say that on me wedding day!’

‘Please don’t get upset. I only want to see you happy.’

‘Then leave. Tell Ruby you have to go somewhere. Tell her a lie, if you have to. You’re good at those.’

He looked at her with dark intensity. ‘I admit I deserved that – once – and I’ve lived to regret every moment of deceiving you. But time’s gone by and I’ve changed. I’m not the man you once knew.’

Pearl shook her head slowly. ‘You expect me to believe that?’

His black eyelashes fluttered on his handsome cheeks. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you.’

Pearl swallowed tightly. ‘I don’t even know why I’m standing here listening to you. You lied to me and it wasn’t just once, it was time and again. Until you got found out.’

‘They weren’t lies. Not real lies meant to hurt,’ he protested. ‘I didn’t mean to let you down. It was that stupid girl Stella Burns – she was the cause of the trouble, and I couldn’t make you see, you were so young.’

‘Yes, I was,’ Pearl nodded, her green eyes filled with regret. ‘And I trusted you, believed you. Now, please, Ricky, go away and stay out of my sister’s life too.’

‘But, Pearl, I think too much of Ruby to make the same mistake again.’

‘Get out, Ricky.’

‘Not before I tell you my side of things.’

She pushed past him, but he caught her arm. ‘Please, I’m begging you, Pearl. Could we go somewhere quieter? For Ruby’s sake, if not for your own. And if you don’t like what you hear, then I promise, you won’t ever see me again.’

His grip was firm and Pearl glanced around anxiously, knowing that she would have to do as he asked or they would draw attention. Reluctantly she nodded and, making her way through the crowd, she slipped quietly out into the hall.

‘What did you mean, for Ruby’s sake?’ she demanded as she spun round and found him behind her, his dark eyes full of urgency.

‘I’m falling in love, Pearl.’

‘What?’

‘I mean it. Ruby’s good for me – uncomplicated . . . a breath of fresh air in my life, and I know I can make her happy.’

‘But you’ve only just started taking her out.’

‘I know what I want now and if I’d not been such a fool, I would have known when you and I were together that I should have settled down and married you. I regret losing you, but I can’t turn back the clock.’

Pearl shook her head in disbelief. ‘And you’re saying you’re in love with Ruby?’

‘Yes, I believe I am.’ He paused. ‘Pearl, does Jim know about us?’

Pearl felt her legs go weak. ‘That’s none of your business.’

He smiled. ‘Neither does Ruby. So isn’t it in our mutual interest to be friends? I mean, we love two people very dearly – we wouldn’t want them hurt just as we no longer want to be hurt. Doesn’t that make sense?’

When she didn’t reply he continued, ‘And you won’t be seeing much of me anyway.’ He looked down at his hands, twisting them together and flexing his fingers. ‘You see, I’m expecting a posting. We’ve already been kitted out with cold weather gear.’ His eyes met hers. ‘No doubt we’ll be part of the Atlantic runs to Archangel and Murmansk. The chances are . . . well, need I say more?’ His smile was suddenly forced. ‘Ruby may never see me again if my luck doesn’t hold out.’

Pearl knew all too well of the many British lives that had been lost at sea during the war so far. The newspapers and wireless broadcasts told frequently of the tragic losses in the icy, U-boat-filled North Atlantic, and she could see the fear in his eyes, despite his smile. For one brief moment she felt hope that he too might suffer such a fate and then in the next, a deep guilt that she could ever think such a thing.

He nodded slowly as if reading her thoughts. ‘If I don’t get through, then for you, nothing is lost. This conversation, my reappearance in your life, will be just a memory . . . but let me assure you of this: my feelings for Ruby are sincere and if I should return, I would consider myself the luckiest man on earth if she will have me.’ He held out his arm and the wavy gold band glittered. Without warning, he took her hand. ‘Pearl, let’s agree that this is for the good of the people we—’

‘What the blazes?’ Jim’s voice cracked in the air. He leaped towards them and crashed with Ricky into the banister. He had Ricky by the shoulders and pushed him into the kitchen. Ricky’s oath was audible as he broke his fall on the table. Syd and Ruby rushed out from the front room.

‘What’s going on?’ Syd demanded.

‘Nothing, Dad, nothing!’ Pearl protested as she pulled Jim back.

‘It was just horseplay,’ muttered Ricky, putting distance between himself and Jim as he straightened his tie.

Pearl held on to Jim’s arm and felt him shaking. The anger in his eyes and his clenched fists made her very frightened.

Ricky put his arm around Ruby. ‘Perhaps we should step out for a breath of fresh air,’ he said and, with a wary glance at Jim, took Ruby through the front door.

Syd frowned at his son-in-law as they stood in the kitchen. ‘You all right, Jim?’

Jim nodded. ‘Yes,’ he muttered, shrugging his jacket back into position across his shoulders. ‘Sorry about that, Mr Jenkins.’

Syd’s smile returned as he slapped Jim on the back. ‘It’s a wedding, ain’t it? And a wedding ain’t complete without a bit of a dust-up.’ He turned to his daughter. ‘You’ve got a honeymoon waiting for you, gel; your mother’s just gone out to tie me old boots on the bumper. So hurry on upstairs and get on your glad rags.’

Pearl did as her father said, but she felt sick inside. Her dad had managed to restore calm but she knew Jim’s temper was simmering very close to the surface.

Pearl sat in the passenger seat of their borrowed car as Jim drove them to Margate. She had dressed hurriedly in her new green suit and had abandoned her plan of a Veronica Lake hairstyle before rushing back downstairs.

Why had Jim attacked Ricky? He hadn’t spoken since they’d left the island. His jaw was set and his gaze fixed on the road.

Instead of her enjoying the scenery, the ugly scene replayed itself in her mind. What had her dad really thought? If only Jim hadn’t lost his temper.

Pearl gazed out of the window. She wanted to enjoy her honeymoon. It was a once-in-a-lifetime occasion and she and Jim should be laughing, enjoying themselves and excited at the prospect of their wedding night.

‘Let’s stop,’ Pearl said after a while, ‘and have a cup of tea in one of them little shops.’

‘Time’s getting on,’ Jim replied, not even looking at her.

Pearl felt desperate. A honeymoon in Margate and a whole week to be with each other. Jim had spared no expense to make her happy. And now he wasn’t even speaking to her.

‘Jim, I’m sorry about what happened.’

‘What were you doing alone with him?’

‘He was just saying he wished us the best.’

‘It looked more than that to me.’

‘Well, it wasn’t. Jim, what’s got into you?’

He looked at her and the anger still oozed from his face. ‘I don’t trust that bastard.’

She put her hand on his arm. ‘I know. But don’t let it spoil our honeymoon. Let’s forget about everything except us.’

‘The man’s a philanderer,’ Jim continued heatedly. ‘A rogue. Just because he’s got himself a uniform he thinks he’s bloody Clark Gable. He’s not changed from what he was, full of codswallop and the women daft enough to fall for it.’

‘Is that reason enough to hit him?’

‘In my book, a man looks after his own right from day one. And that’s just what I was doing. I’m sorry I caused a rumpus, but he deserved all he got and more.’

‘Can we forget it now?’ Pearl had never seen this side of Jim. He was like a dog with a bone; he wouldn’t let go of his dislike of Ricky. He was such an easy-going man usually, and this seemed very out of character. She pouted miserably. ‘You haven’t even said how I look.’

He gave her a brief smile. ‘You look lovely. You always do.’

Pearl was deep in thought as they continued their journey; she didn’t want to think of Ricky, or Jim’s reaction to him, but she couldn’t help but wonder if Ricky had really been telling her the truth. Could he be falling in love with Ruby? But all she wanted to do now was to enjoy the wonderful things that were happening to her and Jim.

She thought of the clothes she had brought with her. Even though there was a war on, she had managed to buy underwear that was soft and feminine. Her shoes had taken for ever to find. They were a soft green and very expensive, from the Co-op. She would never have had enough coupons if her mum and Ruby hadn’t saved up theirs too. With a wonderful week ahead of her, there was so much to look forward to. Slowly a curl of excitement began in her stomach.

Half an hour later they reached Bay View, the hotel that Jim had chosen. It had a pretty pink door and brown tiled roof, and looked so romantic that Pearl wanted to cry. Taking a deep breath, she waited for Jim to open the door of the car, her heart beating fast with excitement.

Pearl lay in bed beside Jim, staring at the shadows reflected through the lace. The blackout curtains were still parted; she hadn’t the heart to pull them together. The sky was studded with stars and the smell of salt and seaweed blew in through the open window. Pearl thought how wonderful tonight was. She had felt a thrill as Jim signed the register for them as a married couple. He had even arranged flowers to be in the room with a message on them: ‘To My Darling Wife. These flowers aren’t as beautiful as you. Love forever, Jim.’ After a delicious fish-and-chip supper they had come up to their room. But now her nerves were getting the better of her, for she knew the time had come when they would make love and she wanted it to be perfect. Ever since Jim had asked her to marry him, the niggling thoughts of her past with Ricky had preyed on her mind. She wasn’t a virgin, as Jim expected her to be. Would he know or was it possible for her to pretend during their lovemaking? What if he suspected that it wasn’t her first time?

In the moonlight she saw his face. It was filled with tenderness. ‘I love you, Pearl. I’m sorry about nearly spoiling our day.’ He brought her into his arms and kissed her passionately. ‘Don’t be nervous, sweetheart. I won’t hurt you.’

He began to slide down her nightdress straps. Oh God, please don’t let him guess, she prayed. She loved him so much that, to her, he was the only man she had ever been with. And the only man she would ever want. His lovemaking was wonderful, slow and tender, and then as he entered her, she gave a gasp. Her mind seemed to fly away, her body shuddered and together they lost themselves, uniting in a shared joy.

When it was over, Pearl held his strong body tightly. Had he guessed anything? But he took her in his arms and kissed her, telling her how beautiful she was and making her thrill all over again.

When he had fallen asleep and Pearl lay contentedly beside him, she understood for the first time what it was like to feel truly satisfied. When Ricky had first taken her, she had been too young to know that he was an inconsiderate lover, and the feelings of emptiness afterwards were down to Ricky’s selfish and uncaring actions. Jim’s gentle coaxing and tender passion were all that any woman could want. She felt fulfilled and wanted, unlike before, when Ricky had taken what he wanted, leaving her feeling ashamed and guilty.

As Jim stirred, she nestled closely against his warm skin and tried not to let the thoughts taunt her. Why was Ricky still on her mind? The thought of him with Ruby made her feel sick. Had Ruby given herself to him already? Pearl shuddered yet again. Ruby hadn’t even mentioned they’d been going out together. Was it because the wedding had come between them? Perhaps it was her fault, she should have taken more interest in Ruby lately. Pearl closed her eyes as if to try to squeeze out the vision of her sister in his arms. Ricky had insisted he’d changed, that he was a different man. Had meeting Ruby changed him? Could that be true?