"That's even worse than lying to me.” The harsh tone of his voice and the anger in his eyes made her afraid, and she slowly got out of bed, intensely aware of her nakedness. Humiliated, she had to go out to the living room to find all her clothes. She dragged them on as quickly as she could, given that her brain and body functioned at less-than-optimal levels in the morning. What a rude awakening this had been. Literally.
When dressed, she turned around and found he'd followed her. Was this it, then? She'd always known this was going to happen. She was the one who'd been an idiot, to have let things go on and develop between them to the extent they had.
"What ... what did Connor say about Melissa?” she asked, not sure why she cared at this moment, but curious.
Zach rubbed his face again. “Shit. Melissa apparently had a crush on Connor a few months back. She started phoning him at home. That's what started this whole mess. He swears nothing happened, but Jessica got paranoid. I can't believe it."
There was silence, and then she finally said, “I'm so sorry, Zach. I should never have gotten involved with you.” She tried to keep her voice steady. “I knew it was a bad idea right from the start. But I couldn't stop thinking about you—even when I thought you were married and willing to cheat on your wife! How sad is that! I'm the idiot, Zach, not you."
His face was hard, impassive.
"And the more I saw you and got to know you, the harder I knew it would be when this happened. Because I knew it
would
happen. But I had no idea it would hurt this much.” Her voice broke, and she blinked tears away, her vision blurred. “So I'm sorry,” she choked out. “It is all my fault. You're not an idiot, you're a wonderful, open man who sees the best in people and believes in them, and I love that about you. Please don't beat yourself up. And please don't change.” She met his eyes through a blur of tears. “I'm sorry."
She turned and left, finding her purse on the floor near the front door where she'd dropped it last night. She had to get out of there before she lost it completely.
Of course, she'd forgotten she had no car there. She sank down onto the front steps and buried her face in her arms on her knees. A sob escaped her. “Shit,” she moaned. After a couple of gasping sobs, she fumbled for her cell phone and called home.
Ben answered. “Can you come get me?” she asked with a pathetic sniff. “I'm at Zach's.” She gave him directions, hung up, and started walking to the end of his street. She glanced back at Zach's house. She couldn't believe he'd let her leave with no way to get home. Jerk. She sniffled, waiting for Ben in the cool morning, in her fluttery dress and heels.
Ashlyn woke up around five o'clock, her head fuzzy and her heart hurting. She dragged herself out of bed and poked around in some papers and stuff on her desk. She should be relieved it had finally happened, but she ached too much.
She picked up her notes from Applied Crypto and spotted a hard drive she'd copied from Zach's brewery. She thought she'd turned them all over to her dad, but this one had been buried. She pulled it out and looked at it. It was the copy of Melissa's hard drive.
Melissa had a crush on Connor. Ashlyn had sensed something between them that day at the picnic. Connor had been uncomfortable around her. Had he actually cheated on his wife with Melissa? No. Not the Connor she'd gotten to know. What if he'd rejected Melissa? Maybe she was trying to get revenge on Connor by sabotaging his business. Maybe it was worth one more try investigating her hard drive.
She decided she owed it to Zach and Connor to figure out who was giving away their trade secrets, so she booted up her computer and sat down to try some different keyword searches.
It grew dark. She vaguely heard Ben and Doug go out and come home, and then go to bed. The house was quiet. Her eyes burned, and her brain was mush. Those e-mails about God kept popping up and she ignored them, searching for something...
Suddenly a memory flashed into her mind. Zach standing in the lab talking about yeast. “When European monks started brewing beer in the eighth century, they had no idea how yeast worked,” he'd said. “All they knew was that when they exposed their liquid of malted barley and hops to the heavens, a miracle happened. ‘God is good,’ they said.” He'd grinned. “And that's what they called yeast in the early days."
Quickly Ashlyn started a new keyword search using “God” and “good.” All kinds of things started coming up, and soon she'd put together a sequence of e-mails that were extremely damning, now that she knew “God is good” referred to yeast. Yes! It was Melissa. All they had to do was trace the Hotmail account the e-mails were going to and from, and if it was anybody connected with Steinbrau, they'd done it.
She couldn't help but feel a thrill of excitement and satisfaction, although tears trickled down her cheeks.
Zach sat in Connor and Jessica's stylishly-decorated home, guzzling his third beer. He felt like crap. Ashlyn's words when she'd left yesterday had made him feel like the biggest piece of shit imaginable, even though he was in the right and she was so in the wrong. He kept telling himself over and over again how pissed he was at her and what a cold bitch she must be to have let Jessica and Connor suffer.
"Another beer?” he asked Connor, who frowned.
"Easy, dude,” Connor said. “Think maybe you've had enough for now?"
Zach shook his head and hauled himself out of the uncomfortable but über-stylish leather chair in which he sat. “I'll get it myself,” he muttered.
Jessica walked into the room. “So, I talked to my lawyer last week,” she said. “About suing Farrell Investigations."
Both men gaped at her. “You're going to sue them?” Connor asked slowly. “You never mentioned that."
"Yes,” she said, looking from one to the other. “They screwed up—or rather, Ashlyn Farrell screwed up. He thinks we could get big bucks for pain and suffering—mental anguish or whatever."
Zach and Connor looked at each other, and then back at Jessica in silence.
"What?” she asked.
"Uh, honey...” Connor said. “They're working on a job for us right now."
"I know. Maybe you should find someone else. Someone more competent."
"I think they're pretty competent,” Zach said slowly, having been distracted from his quest for more beer. He dropped back into the chair. “They want us to meet with them tomorrow about what they've discovered. It sounds positive."
"Yeah,” Connor said. “I'd kind of like to keep the relationship there for now."
"Oh.” Jessica sat down on the couch beside Connor. “Well, maybe we could just sue Ashlyn."
Zach found himself unaccountably angered by that idea.
"She made a mistake,” he growled. “As did the other decoy you hired. Obviously it's not that unlikely."
She nodded, her lovely face troubled. “What about the fact that she didn't tell me about it when she discovered the mistake?"
"What about the fact that you didn't look at the video?” Connor asked mildly. “If you'd looked at it right away, this whole mess would never have happened."
Jessica firmed her lips and blinked. “I told you why,” she began, and he covered her hand with one of his.
"I know, hon. I'm just saying, that part isn't totally her fault."
"When did you go to Cabo?” Zach asked abruptly.
She blinked. “Um ... April 1. Friday. I came back the next Sunday."
"So you'd already left town the day Ashlyn found out,” he said slowly. “She tried to call you Monday, but no one would tell her how to reach you."
"I wanted to be left alone,” she said in a small voice.
"I know,” Connor said soothingly. He glanced curiously at Zach.
Zach's mouth twisted as his mind worked over things.
"You guys are defending her,” Jessica accused.
"I like her,” Connor said with a shrug. “Sorry. I got to know her a bit over the last few weeks. I think she's a sweetheart."
Jessica shot him a glare, and he smiled reassuringly. “Hey. I'm not interested in her, okay? I love you. You know that.” She relaxed and gave him an apologetic smile. “It's Zach who's crazy about her."
"I still can't believe that,” Jessica said, shaking her head. “That you could get involved with her after what she did."
"I didn't know,” Zach growled. “Now I do, and we're finished. Okay?"
Jessica and Connor shared a look. She bit her lip.
Zach sat back down and glowered at the empty beer bottle in his hands.
Yeah, maybe she was a sweetheart, but she was also a deceitful witch. A gorgeous, smart, funny, caring witch.
"You're really serious about her, aren't you?” Connor shook his head.
"Nah. She's just a chick."
Connor snorted. “You were going to ask her to marry you the first night you met her."
"Good thing I didn't."
"Why didn't you? You've done it before. When you talk about marrying a girl after your first date, I just blow it off as your usual reckless self. It never lasts—next thing I know, you're with someone else. But this is different."
Zach wanted to tell Connor he'd been practicing that restraint he was always urging him to use, but the truth was ... He swallowed. “Because this time if I asked her to marry me ... I would've meant it."
He couldn't look at Connor and see the pity that was no doubt on his face. Zach scowled. The tables had turned, and now he was the one brooding while Connor worried about him.
"I know you're pissed at her,” Connor said. “But maybe you two should talk about it."
"You're the one who should be mad at her,” Zach pointed out.
"Believe me, I was,” Connor agreed wholeheartedly. “But now it kind of doesn't seem so bad. It really wasn't totally her fault."
"What would be the point in talking to her?” Zach ran a hand over his face. “I trusted her—she deceived me."
"So you think all that time you were together she was putting on an act?"
Zach's scowl deepened. No. Even he knew Ashlyn wouldn't have continued her act that long. Hell. Deep down inside he realized what Connor said made logical sense, but there was still no point in trying to fix things. “It doesn't matter,” he said heavily. “It would never have worked anyway. She doesn't trust me."
Jessica nibbled on her bottom lip, her eyes narrowed. “Why doesn't she trust you?"
"She doesn't trust any men,” he said. “Can you blame her, doing that job? All she sees are assholes who cheat on their wives."
"But ... did you do anything to make her not trust you?"
"Fuck no!” He glared at her.
Jessica held up a hand. “I believe you. But I think Connor's right—you should talk to her."
"The question is: would you rather live with her—even with her trust issues—or without her?” Connor tossed Zach's own words back at him. And while he'd known Connor's answer, Zach wasn't so sure about his own.
Ashlyn went to see her dad with the information she'd recovered from Melissa's hard drive.
"I thought you brought all that stuff in last week,” he said, frowning.
"I thought I did too. Sorry. I found this on my desk, and I spent some more time on it. So here's your answer to whodunit."
Still frowning, he reviewed the information she'd printed out.
"That's good work, Ashlyn.” He looked up at her. “Really good. Thank you."
"You're welcome.” She turned to leave.
"Wait, Ash,” Dave said. “I want to talk to you."
She turned and looked at him.
"I want to apologize for losing my temper last week. I shouldn't have fired you over something like that."
"I screwed up."
He nodded. “Hell, everyone makes mistakes. I was angry, and it seemed like a good way to get you to stop doing that damn sex decoy work."
She couldn't help but smile sadly. “I knew it."
"So anyway, you can have your job back. And submit your time and expenses to Brenda for all the time you spent working on the Surf Coast case, and you'll get paid."
Wow. She could have her job back. No longer did she have to be broke and desperate.
"I don't want my job back.” Suddenly she knew that.
He raised his brows. “You don't?"
She shook her head. “You know, I never realized what a negative impact that work was having on me until I stopped doing it. It's made me kind of cynical about men."
"I guess I could see that,” he answered, the corners of his mouth turned down. “I should never have let you do it."
"I wanted to do it,” she said. “And I enjoyed it. And I liked the money. But recently, I've kind of ... not really liked some things about myself."
"Oh, Ash. Does this have something to do with Zach Montgomery?"
She looked down at her fingers twisted together.
"I know you told me it was none of my business last time I asked, but this time I'm not asking as your boss. I'm asking as your father."
She felt her throat tighten up. “I don't know what to say. He's the nicest man I've ever met, and I screwed things up with him."
"Maybe you can fix it."
"I don't think so,” she choked out. “He was pretty angry about the fact that when I met him, I was actually on a job. Of course, he figures everything I said and did that night was just an act. It started out like that, but I really did like him. And when I found out what a mess I'd made of things, I was afraid to tell Jessica Montgomery, because I knew when Zach found out he'd hate me. And he does. Only, he hates me even more because I didn't tell Connor what I'd done and put him out of his misery. He doesn't get it that I couldn't do that."
He nodded. “He'll get over that."
"Maybe.” She lifted a shoulder. “But the worst thing is, I told him I don't trust him and can't trust any guy."
Her father frowned. “Why is that? What do you mean?"
She sighed. “It's partly because of the decoy work. Seeing all those guys willing to cheat on their wives doesn't inspire a lot of faith in men."
"Partly,” he said slowly. “But what else?"
She looked away, her throat tight. She blinked a few times. “Well, also because of you."
His mouth dropped open in astonishment. “Me?"