He snorted. “Yeah, and the way you look has nothing to do with it."
"Well, it doesn't hurt,” she admitted on an exhale. “But you don't have to be particularly good-looking to do this job. Larissa, one of the other girls, isn't what you'd call beautiful, but she's very good at it."
"I'm still a bit pissed that you didn't tell me about it."
"I'm sorry. I just ... didn't know how you'd react. Lot's of people get the wrong idea, so I don't tell everyone what I do."
She heard his sigh. “I guess I'm reacting like every other guy, huh? It's not that I don't trust you, Ashlyn. It's the guys you're with that I have a problem with."
"Why would you trust me? You hardly even know me."
There was silence. “Of course I trust you,” he said slowly. “Why wouldn't I?"
"I guess I just have a hard time trusting people,” she said. “Guys, I mean."
"You mean me?"
"Well, any guy. I see guys cheating all the time. I'm seeing it up close and personal, believe me."
"Yeah, I guess you are."
"And I told you about my parents. It's hard to believe any guy would ever be completely faithful to a woman.” She shrugged. “That's life."
Silence. “Hard not to take that personally, Ashlyn."
Oh. Shit. “No, no,” she protested. “I didn't mean you specifically."
More silence. “Man, you are cynical for someone so young,” he said. “I realize you haven't been meeting the most sterling characters, but you shouldn't judge all men because of that."
"You could be right,” she said, not wanting to argue with him.
"Ashlyn, if you don't trust me, what are you doing with me?” he asked. “After what we did last night ... and everything else."
She paused. “We're having fun,” she said finally. “Right?"
"Right.” Another long pause. Then he said, “Just because you haven't seen a lot of evidence that some men can be faithful to a woman, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Aren't there things you believe in that you've never seen evidence of?"
"No. I need to see proof of something."
"Don't you ever trust your instincts? Your gut?"
"Well ... No."
"Oh, come on. What about female intuition?"
"That is a totally sexist remark. Intuition is not limited to females."
"Uh ... that's not what I ... I mean, everyone has instincts."
"I suppose. I just prefer to rely on facts."
"So you really don't trust me? You think I would screw around on you?"
She forced a laugh. “Oh come on. We've gone out a few times; it's not like we're married. You could easily be dating other girls."
The silence was ear-popping.
"I can't believe you said that,” he said slowly. “You know, if that's what you think of me, I don't know—"
"Don't know what?” The words almost choked her.
"Maybe we're not so good together.” She waited. “I'll see you at the meeting tomorrow.” And he hung up.
Well. Had they just had a fight? Did he just break up with her? Her lips quivered as she looked at the phone in her hand.
Oh, what was she so upset about? This was crazy! They had no future together, so if he'd just dumped her, it was probably just as well.
So why did she feel like someone had shoved a pool cue into her heart?
"Just wanted to meet with you quickly to review progress,” Dave Farrell said the next afternoon, pulling up a chair to the table.
Ash smiled tentatively at Zach as he took a seat across from her. He met her eyes and then looked away.
She quickly looked down at her notes. When she picked up a sheet of paper, it trembled and blurred in front of her. She blinked rapidly.
Dave was telling Zach and Connor how he'd driven down to San Diego to talk to their yeast guy.
"I think you're right about him,” he said. “He's clean. He was pretty up front about what he heard and who he heard it from. So we're working on that, seeing if we can get anywhere. Meanwhile, John's been viewing the video from the cameras at the brewery."
"Nothing,” John said. “Nobody but Zach and Connor has gone into that lab in the last week. We'll keep going. Our phone taps have given us nothing so far either."
"Ashlyn?"
"Well...” She hoped her voice wasn't quivering like her insides were. “I can confirm that someone tried to get into that computer in the lab."
Zach scowled at that, and she smiled sympathetically.
"So something has happened,” she continued. “But whoever it was couldn't get in through your passwords. Which was pretty easy for me to do, so clearly this isn't someone with a lot of computer knowledge."
Zach frowned. “You busted my passwords?"
"Easy peasy. I'll help you set up a more secure system for the future. If they try again, they'll never get in.” Although she'd probably never see him again. She continued. “Your office manager likely has enough computer skills to get into your files, so I'm now thinking it wasn't her. I didn't have any luck with the hard drives I copied, so I guess I'd like to look at a few more, if we could agree on two or three more to prioritize. Although I did want to ask something. Your salesperson, Melissa Jackson—is she a very religious person?"
Connor and Zach glanced at each other and then back at Ashlyn. “Not that I know of,” Zach answered slowly. “Why?"
"Just something I kept seeing in her e-mails.” She shook her head. “It was weird because it came up so often, but I'm sure it doesn't mean anything."
They discussed it and decided on three more computers, which Ashlyn would copy on Sunday again.
"Are you sure there was nothing on Ava Cooper's computer?” Bob asked with a frown. “The asset tracking we did showed some really big credit-card purchases that got paid off with cash about three months ago. It seemed suspicious."
She shook her head. “I can look again. I'll try some different keyword searches."
"Okay, thanks."
She closed her folder and watched Zach and Connor get up and leave. Zach never even looked at her.
"Ashlyn."
She turned to look at her father in a haze of hurt. “What?"
"Can I buy you dinner?"
"Oh.” She shook her head. “I'm having dinner with Mom."
"Ah.” He shuffled some papers. “How is your mother?"
"Fine, I guess.” She tipped her head. “Why?"
He shrugged. “Just asking."
"You seem awfully distracted, Ashy."
Ashlyn shook her head at the name her mother had called her as a child. They sat in her mom's kitchen, the same kitchen where she'd sat doing homework, where she'd whined to her mother about stupid ballet classes, and where her mother had bravely pretended all was well in her marriage when her husband phoned yet again to say he'd be home late.
"I'm ... yeah. Busy.” Ashlyn played with the pink-and-yellow flowered serviette. So feminine. Her mother was a girl right to the core and had despaired of Ashlyn's tomboy tendencies.
"School's going okay?"
"Yeah. Almost done. And I had a really good job interview the other day.” She told her mom about the company she hoped to work for.
"Don't take the first job you get offered,” her mother advised. “Make sure it's what you really want."
"It is what I want."
"Are you sure you don't want to work for your dad?"
Ashlyn glanced at her mom and then back down at the napkin. They'd finished eating and were just sitting at the table talking. “I'm sure."
Linda Farrell sighed. “You're working for him now."
"Yeah.” Ashlyn grinned. “It really pisses him off."
"Ashlyn! Language!"
"What? When Liam and Brett and Tanner swear, you don't say a word."
"Ladies don't use language like that."
Ashlyn didn't know whether to remind her mother she wasn't a lady, or try to convince her that yes, ladies did use words like that. She sighed.
"How is your father?"
Ashlyn's head lifted. “He's ... fine."
"That's good."
"He asked about you. When I told him I was coming here."
"Oh.” Her mother touched a hand to her short, blonde hair. “Really. What did he say?"
Was she in high school again? “He just asked how you were."
Her mother smoothed the tablecloth. “I see. Is he seeing anyone?"
Definitely high school all over again. “I don't think so. You know him ... all work."
"Yes.” She gave Ashlyn a bright smile. “So what else is distracting you?"
A corner of Ashlyn's mouth pulled down. “I can't tell you."
Her mom blinked at her. “Oh.” She frowned. “Are you pregnant?"
Ashlyn choked. “God, no.” Well, she hoped not. They'd been careful, but...
Her mom's eyebrows flew up into her blonde hairline. “You're seeing someone, aren't you?"
Ashlyn hesitated. “Yes.” Her heart ached. “Sort of."
"That's wonderful!” Her mom put her hands together in front of her chest as if in prayer. “Who is he? When can I meet him?"
"Oh, Mom. I don't know.” She tossed the napkin down onto the table and leaned back in her chair. “I think he might have dumped me last night."
"Oh dear."
Ashlyn hitched a shoulder. “No big deal."
"You look upset."
Her throat ached. “Nah."
"Oh, heavens, Ashy. You're in love, aren't you?"
"No! God, no. I've only known him a few weeks. It wasn't anything serious. He's nice, but...” She stopped. She was protesting too much. “I can't fall in love, Mom. Men are scum."
"Ashlyn!"
"Well, it's true. You know that as well as anyone. Look what happened with you and Dad."
Her mom said nothing, her gaze sliding away from Ashlyn's. Ashlyn forced a laugh. “Don't worry, Mom. I'm okay."
"What does he do for a living?"
"He makes beer."
Linda frowned. “Beer? That doesn't sound very ... um..."
"He owns a very successful microbrewery,” Ashlyn told her, amused. “He's so smart and creative. It's amazing, you should see the brewery."
Her mom's skepticism softened into tenderness. She smiled. “I see."
Now Ashlyn frowned. “What? What do you see?"
Linda shook her head. “Nothing. Tell me more about this fellow."
The words spilled out of her. She wanted to talk about Zach. Even if she couldn't tell her mom everything, like how badly she'd screwed up and how Zach was bound to hate her eventually but she'd already made him hate her anyway, it felt good to tell someone how wonderful Zach was. And her mom listened to every word, smiling and nodding.
It was too much to hope that Ashlyn's roommates would be out Friday night. It was almost ten-thirty when Zach got to Ashlyn's place, tired from all the work he'd just done getting ready for the Pooch Picnic, but wired about seeing Ashlyn.
Ashlyn opened the door, and when she saw Zach, her eyes went huge and guarded.
"Hi."
"Hi.” She just stood there. “I didn't think you'd be coming."
He nodded, pursing his lips. “Yeah. I wasn't sure myself."
They looked at each other.
"Like I could stay away,” he finally admitted, running his fingers through his hair. “But you pissed me off, Ash."
"I know. I'm sorry."
With one step she was in his arms, her face pressed to his chest.
"You'll learn to trust me,” he muttered against her silky hair. He felt her nod.
Zach smelled the popcorn as they walked into the living room. Ben and another guy sat there in the dark, watching a movie. A huge bowl of popcorn and a half-empty jug of cola sat on the coffee table. Ashlyn introduced Zach to Doug, and he immediately felt the chill from Ben. Doug seemed okay.
Ben and Doug occupied the couch, and Ashlyn must have been sitting in the only chair. She gestured to it. “Sit,” she invited. He hesitated, so she grinned, pushed him down, and proceeded to sit on his lap, her legs dangling over the arm of the chair, her arm around his neck.
He had no idea what was going on in the movie but didn't care. He was just happy and relieved to have Ash in his arms, and he tried to discreetly nuzzle her hair and neck, smelling her fresh fruity scent that was becoming so familiar to him.
"We don't have any beer,” Ash murmured to him, moving her head languorously against his nuzzling mouth. “Do you want a Coke or anything?"
"Nah. That's okay."
After the movie, Ben and Doug apparently had no clue he and Ashlyn might want to be alone. They stayed glued to the couch, analyzing and dissecting the movie.
"He only did that because of his inferiority complex,” Doug said, reaching for a handful of popcorn.
They started arguing, and Zach listened with amusement, stroking Ashlyn's hip. After he'd yawned a couple of times, Ash said, “You're tired, Zach. You should go."
Reluctantly he agreed. Maybe it was just as well they couldn't do anything more than snuggle. He didn't want her to think the only reason he'd showed up tonight was to get in her pants. Although he did want to get in her pants. Really bad.
"I'll pick you up at noon tomorrow,” he said.
She smiled at him, and her pretty face took his breath away. Then he forced himself to leave before he gave into impulse and dragged her down the hall to her bedroom.
"Am I dressed okay?” Ashlyn asked Zach, looking down at her flowered cotton skirt and tank top. God. She might as well have asked him if her ass looked fat. What was happening to her?
"You look great,” he assured her and kissed her.
"What about later, though?” she fretted. “That place is pretty posh."
"If you want to change, bring some clothes. We have to go back to my place later to take Rocky home anyway."
He followed her back into her bedroom, where she stared into her closet. With a sigh, she pulled out her black dress, the one she'd been wearing the second time she'd met Zach. What a girl she was turning into, she thought ruefully. Remembering every outfit she'd worn each time she saw him. Wishing she had something new and pretty to wear for him.
She pulled her strappy black sandals out and tossed some makeup into her backpack for a touch-up later.
Ben sat in the kitchen reading the newspaper as they went by. He looked up and scowled. “Should I expect you home tonight?"