Dralin (21 page)

Pelya nodded.

The look in her father’s violet eyes became
even more intense. “What you don’t know is what it
feels
like when your knife slides into a person’s skin and wedges into a
bone. You don’t know what it feels like when hot blood that tastes
like salty iron hits you in the face and leaks through your lips to
your tongue. You don’t know what it feels like when the person
looks at you in confusion as they gasp for breath that isn’t there
anymore and blood gurgles out the side of their mouth. You don’t
know what it’s like when they fall to the ground and the life
visibly fades from their eyes, which become dull and empty. You
don’t know what it feels like to stand over them and
know
that they died because you just killed them.”

Tears streamed down Pelya’s eyes as he spoke
and her face was twisted in fear and confusion. In her lap, her
hands clenched each other tightly, becoming white with the
pressure. Pelya didn’t know why everyone suddenly wanted her to be
miserable, but she felt worse than she had in her entire life.

Frath took her hands in his. “I’m saying
this to you because the reality is much worse. It looks like you’re
going to be a member of the Guard when you grow up, even though you
don’t have to be. In the Guard, there comes a time for most where
they end up in a situation where it’s kill or be killed. It feels
bad to kill someone. Probably not as bad as being the one who gets
killed, but bad nonetheless,” he told her with a half-hearted
chuckle.

Pelya wasn’t remotely amused. She didn’t
want to kill anyone or use a weapon anymore. Undoing the silver
buckle on her belt, she slid off the knife with its sheath and
threw it on the ground.

“Here now. That’s not what I’m trying to
accomplish,” Frath told her, picking it up.

“I don’t want to kill anyone or use a sword
anymore!” she yelled in confusion. “I’ll be a child and do whatever
you want. Please stop being mad at me. I’m sorry! Please stop being
mad” she pleaded desperately.

“Oh no! I’m not mad at you at all,” Frath
responded earnestly. He pulled her from her chair into his lap with
one big sweeping movement. Even though she was eleven, her father
could easily pick her up at any time. She liked that he was so
strong. It made her feel safe most of the time. “No. I’m not mad at
you. No one’s mad at you. Shh,” he said, rocking her back and forth
in the chair.

Pelya held on as tight as possible and
cried. The day had started out so nice, but turned into a nightmare
and she didn’t know what else to do.

She clung to him until he finally stopped
rocking a little while later. He offered her back the knife, but
she shook her head vigorously and pulled away, not wanting anything
to do with it anymore. She just wanted to hide away somewhere in a
corner where no one would yell at her anymore.

Frath set the knife down on the table and
stood up. Instead of standing on her own two feet, she remained
clinging around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist.
Even though he was mad at her, her father was the safest place in
the world. He shifted her into a comfortable position on his hip
and carried her out of the room.

Everyone was sitting or standing around the
bunks while they waited. Pelya hid her face in her father’s chest
so they wouldn’t see that she had been crying and that she was in
trouble. As Frath passed through, he ordered, “My unit with me.”
After leaving the squad quarters, he tapped her leg. “You’re
getting a little big to carry all the way. Chin up and walk with
me.”

She got down and began walking, but still
held onto his left hand. His right hand remained free so he could
access his sword if need be. She didn’t keep her chin up though.
Pelya wasn’t going to look at anything but the ground.

Frath didn’t say anything else as they
walked, letting her mope in silence. It seemed like an eternity
before they reached the estate of Lady Pallon. Pelya didn’t really
enjoy going there. Lady Pallon didn’t like kids and Ebudae almost
never spoke. Usually, Pelya would practice her footwork and other
moves while Ebudae sat quietly at a table, engaging in staring
contests with her dolls. Pelya was pretty sure the girl actually
won a few of those contests too.

The unit stayed at the gate while Frath
walked her up to the door. Mary answered it and had them sit on a
bench to the side of the entry. Pelya stared at the floor. A minute
later, Lady Pallon approached. “My dearest Frath, I wasn’t
expecting you. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I was hoping that Pelya could play with
Ebudae until my shift is done tonight.”

She studied the two of them for a moment.
“What happened? Something is definitely wrong.”

“Commander Coodmur, the weaponmaster,
decided that Pelya needs to spend time away from the Guard in order
to experience other aspects of life,” Frath explained. “Different
members of the Guard will take her out to do things each day, but I
was hoping she could stay here just for today.”

“Hmm . . . Interesting.” Lady Pallon rubbed
her chin. “Leave her here for a week,” she said abruptly.

Pelya looked up in horror while Frath said,
“Huh?” The statement shocked both.

“Ebudae has been especially weird lately and
it seems your daughter is being that way too. It’s not surprising,
considering little girls are always odd,” she declared with an
exasperated wave of an arm. “I think a week away from the barracks
would be wonderful for her. Perhaps the girls will keep each other
busy and they can deal with each other’s weirdness, which would
give us adults a break.”

Frath turned to Pelya with a thoughtful
expression. She shook her head desperately, praying he wouldn’t
agree. He did. “I think it might be good for both of them although
I disagree with your reasoning,” he told Lady Pallon as he
stood.

Pelya jumped to her feet and gripped his
hand with all her might. “Daddy, no! I’m sorry! Please don’t leave
me here! I’m sorry for everything!”

He got to one knee and hugged her. She threw
her arms around his neck and locked them tightly so he couldn’t get
away. “I love you more than life itself,” he whispered in her ear.
“There are secret places below the buildings in the gardens. Go
exploring, but not too deep. There are deadly things you must stay
away from. Use good sense.”

Frath pried Pelya’s arms from his neck and
stood. She pleaded with her eyes, which were streaming with tears
again, but he stayed resolute in his decision. He kissed the top of
her head. “I love you and I’ll be back next week.” Then he tried to
pry her hands from his arm, which she had latched onto. It wasn’t
until he had closed the door behind him after dragging her the
entire way that she finally let go.

She stared at the door, lost in despair and
hoping desperately that her father would come back and tell her it
was all a cruel prank. Lady Pallon’s voice came from directly
behind her, causing her to jump and turn, pushing back against the
door. “Ebudae is in her room. Go get into trouble or something,
child,” she insisted, shooing her off. “Go on. Run off.”

Pelya disliked Lady Pallon with all her
heart. She treated Ebudae terribly and Pelya not much better. It
wasn’t that she beat them or anything, it was that she looked down
on them as inconveniences to be hidden away and not seen. Pelya
dashed toward the stairs, up them and away from the noblewoman as
quickly as possible. It was by far the worst day in the history of
all days.

Chapter
13

Ebudae’s grand suite was on the third level
of the west wing. It consisted of three bedrooms, a bathroom, an
office, a library and two other rooms Ebudae kept locked and
wouldn’t show Pelya. Lady Pallon didn’t know what the rooms were
for and honestly didn’t care what the girl did. Frath had mentioned
once that the lady was angry at her daughter for dumping the child
off. He told Pelya that Lady Pallon wanted Ebudae to grow wild as
revenge.

Pelya didn’t even bother knocking. She went
inside, slammed the door and ran over to the window seat where she
could see the backyard with her mother’s fountain and rosebushes in
the distance. She could see that the roses were blooming and
considered going down to sit at the fountain, but didn’t want to
risk running into Lady Pallon or anyone else. There was no way she
was going to let anyone ruin her day further.

Tears started to flow again. She looked
around in panic for Ebudae in fear that the girl might observe her
weakness, but didn’t see her in the room. There was a good chance
she would be in her secret rooms, which was fine with Pelya.
Looking back through the windows at the top of the fountain, she
wished her mother hadn’t died and could come hold her. The tears
turned into heaving sobs that racked her body as she curled up into
a ball.

When the anguish had finally lessened to the
point where she was staring out the window miserably, Ebudae came
in. Pelya didn’t hear her or notice the look of shock in the girl’s
pearly pink eyes at seeing her there. For a minute, Ebudae studied
the warrior girl. Realizing she had something in her hands that she
didn’t want anyone to see, Ebudae snuck back to her room. A minute
later, she came back out and approached the window seat.

Pelya was startled when Ebudae sat down in
front of her. The girl was wearing a fancy black and white dress
decorated with lace. When Ebudae had learned to sew, she started
making dresses out of anything but pink. In addition to that, she
had a black hat with purple roses in it. The use of the roses out
of the garden was a habit that bothered Pelya deeply, but she
didn’t say anything out of sympathy for the girl having to live
with Lady Pallon. The lack of color in her dress made the pink eyes
stick out all that much more.

Tears began to well in Pelya’s eyes again
and she looked helplessly at the girl who didn’t really like her.
Ebudae’s eyes widened at the sight and then became sympathetic.
Pelya felt her bottom lip quivering and just didn’t know how to
stop it. Everything seemed so hopeless and terrible.

Ebudae held out a hand and wiggled her
fingers for Pelya to take it. She did so, and the girl led her into
the bedroom where she normally slept. Pelya usually had a different
room in the suite for the rare occasion when she spent the night.
Ebudae climbed onto the bed, dragging Pelya along. She sat up
against some pillows at the headboard and then patted her lap.

Pelya stared at her for a moment. Ebudae
patted her lap again, so Pelya put her head down in it and curled
up. When Ebudae pulled the ponytail out of Pelya’s hair and began
running fingers through it, Pelya burst into tears again and lay
there shaking.

She finally fell asleep in exhaustion. The
day had been emotionally draining and there was no need to stay
awake for any more abuse.

***

Pelya didn’t open her eyes right away after
waking up. Fingers were slowly running through her hair still,
although it felt like she was lying on a pillow instead of a lap.
Someone had covered her and it was nice and warm.

“You don’t have your longknife,” Ebudae
said. Her voice was tranquil and low. On the rare occasion she did
speak, it reminded Pelya of a silk blanket.

She finally opened her eyes slowly and
discovered that her head was on a pillow next to Ebudae who was
wearing a purple nightgown and reading a book. “How did you know I
was awake?”

“I know when people are awake or asleep.
It’s a special ability I have,” she answered mysteriously. Ebudae
put the book down on her lap then rested both hands on it.

Pelya sat up next to her. She was still in
her regular clothes on top of the bed covers. A soft black blanket
kept her warm. Looking around, she saw it was night outside and the
room was lit with a couple of candles and a magical lantern that
glowed greenish-yellow. Siahray was full that night and cast its
greenish-blue glow in through the open window, which also let in a
fresh breeze. “What time is it?”

“It’s midnight, my favorite time. Night is
when the energy of the moons flows the strongest. The most
mysterious things happen and dangerous creatures roam the streets.”
Ebudae grinned excitedly, something Pelya had never seen before.
When Pelya didn’t respond, the grin went away. “There’s bread,
cheese and cold cuts of meat on the platter and fruit juice next to
it.” She went back to reading her book. Pelya watched her read for
a moment until Ebudae looked back. “What?”

“Thank you.”

Ebudae stared at her, flicked her eyes each
way and then turned her hand aside, perplexed. “For what?”

Pelya looked around for the answer and
didn’t find it. “Umm . . . I don’t know.”

“Alright . . . You’re welcome?” she replied
in confusion.

“I had a bad day. You were the only person
who was nice to me . . . and it felt good when you ran your fingers
through my hair. I bet my mother would have done that.” She felt
melancholy, an emotion she wasn’t used to.

“My mother wouldn’t have. She abandoned me
to live with my old bat of a grandmother,” Ebudae responded, just
as melancholy.

“I’m sorry. Your mother and grandmother
nibble rotten plum tarts and you deserve better,” Pelya said.

Ebudae smiled just a little before it
disappeared. “I don’t think I like you . . .”

Pelya looked down. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“I might like you. I don’t know anymore,”
Ebudae said with a twist of her lips. “I’m thinking about it.”

“I don’t have any friends, you know,” Pelya
said suddenly. “Everyone in the guard is an adult and I call them
aunts and uncles, but they’re not really friends. I don’t have any
friends.”

“I don’t have any friends either.” Ebudae
set her book aside and faced Pelya with her legs crossed. “Nobody
likes grandmother and all the other kids think I’m weird.”