Diva Rules (16 page)

A
week later, I'm sitting across from Cease at Applebee's on 440, sharing an appetizer sampler 'n' sipping on a pomegranate lemonade. He's drinking a Sprite.

Oooh, you better not even try'n do me. But, um, well... Wait! Before you start getting messy 'n' getting all cuckoo-crazy, rolling ya eyes 'n' saying
I knew it
, I'ma just say it for you. Ever since that night at Luke's house party, Cease 'n' me been kinda, um, well . . . we been chillin' after school on the low-low 'cause Fiona ain't tryna have everyone all up in her business like that. Trust. 'Cause messy-azz tricks live to be messy 'n' I ain't tryna take a fist to nobody's head over no dumbness. No ma'am, no sir.

Um, hold up. It's not that serious. Trust. But over the last week, I don't know what's happening between us. Or what's happening to
me
! I mean. Fiona ain't ever been interested in knowing anything about a boy except for what kinda pet rock he's holding in his hand at night. But Cease . . . um, well... I don't know. I've learned so much about him. Things I never imagined. Like how he's scared to death of spiders 'n' lightning 'n' going through tunnels. That even though he plays basketball 'n' has acceptance letters to eleven different colleges 'n' universities, going to the NBA isn't one of his dreams. It's his parents', so if it happens he'll do it for them. But he'd rather join the Peace Corps after he graduates from college 'n' teach history in an underprivileged country. When I asked him why, he told me 'cause it's a way to give back 'n' help others less fortunate 'n' that it helped build character.

All I could do was blink.

Who woulda thunk it?

Anywho. Every time he tries to ask about me, about my life, about my dreams, I shut down. I find a way to flip it back on him. Shoot. It ain't none'a his business what I'm thinking, or what I'm feeling, or what I wanna do with my life. So why is he tryna be all up in my world? Please. Fiona ain't giving out interviews. The less he knows, the better.

But that doesn't stop him from asking. And it doesn't stop me from fighting myself every time to keep from opening up to him. Oooh, I shouldn't even be telling you this 'cause I know some'a you real messy, but the truth is, I don't know how to open up. I've never had to talk to a boy about me, or wanted to. Well, not about anything real, like my feelings, or my wants, or my dreams.

But, whatever. Yeah, okay... I'm kinda
liking
him. A little. Or maybe I'm just curious to see him without his clothes on. Not that I'm planning on giving him any of this cookie. Still... it never hurts to look 'n' touch, a lil. But I ain't even tryna get all goo-ga-ga over him like that. Oh no, hun, trust! No ma'am, no sir.

Anywhoo. All I know is, Fiona ain't tryna get all wrapped up in no boy.

“So why don't you believe in love?” he wants to know, bringing up a conversation we had the first night we spoke on the phone. I eye him as he bites into a boneless wing, wondering why he is even asking me this. I'm kinda surprised he even remembers me telling him that. It's not like boys remember most of what you tell 'em anyway, right? So why in the heck did he choose to remember that, of all things? I mean really? Why is he tryna be all up in my head about my lack of belief in that dirty four-letter
L
-word?

Love. Mmph. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Umm, I guess if I spit the truth, I'd have to confess that I've
never
loved a boy before. Never even think a boy's ever loved me. Yeah, they've loved this goody-goody. They always love that. Please. Fiona knows how to make it do what it do, boo. Trust. But I ain't messy 'n' I don't kiss 'n' tell, so moving along.

Um, can I say I've ever looked in a boy's eyes 'n' felt, or seen,
love
staring back at me? Nope. Well, shoot. I don't know if I'd even know what that
look
looked like if it were staring back at me, ready to bite me in my face. Ooh, no, no . . . not the face. But you know what I mean.

All I know is lust. Lots of it. That's all I ever see, all I've ever seen, anytime a boy looks at me. They love how I make them feel. Not who I am. And I don't—well, I've never wanted to—expect any more than that. Trust. I'm not like most chickie-boos. I ain't looking for love, boo. Just a nice, slow bump 'n' grind 'n' a hot, sweaty time. Fiona ain't ever been no fool to fall for the okey-doke, like some hoes do. No, boo. Mind tricks don't work on me. You ain't ever gotta lie to me. I already know what it is. Trust.

“Why you care?” I ask, eyeing him. I reach for my drink 'n' take a slow sip. I lick my lips.

He grins. “Maybe
I'm
tryna
care
about you.”

“Uh-huh. And why you wanna do all that?”

“ 'Cause I think you're worth it,” he says softly, burning his stare into mine.

I blink. See. This is why I don't let myself get caught up in this boy-girl ish. Boys like him too busy saying mushy stuff they know they usually don't mean. But the way he's looking at me—all serious 'n' intense—is kinda making me think he's serious. Sorta. Almost.

I shift my eyes. But he keeps looking at me, his eyes searching for mine. I fidget with the straw in my drink, refusing to meet his gaze. Refusing to get sucked into this boy's little fairy tale of sweet nothings. Oh no, boo. Fiona ain't tryna buy nothing he's pushing. Not today. No ma'am, no sir.

“I'd rather you not,” I say, finally meeting his eyes. The warmth of his gaze makes my skin heat. I swallow, shifting in my seat again.

He frowns. “You can't tell me who not to care about.”

I shrug. “You're right. I wasn't telling you. It was a warning.”

He laughs. “Thanks. But I'm a big boy, bae. I think I got this.”

“Suit ya'self. Now gentle reminder: I'm
not
ya
bae, baby, boo,
or
other
.”

He smirks. “Maybe not today.”

“Not tomorrow either,” I shoot back. “Or the day after that.”

“Yeah, a'ight. There's always next week 'n' the week after that. Fight it if you want. But I'ma still bag you.”

“Ooh, you think?”

“Nah, I
know
.”

I give him an incredulous look. “And what makes you so sure?”

He spreads his arms open. “ 'Cause I'm
me
, baby. Look at all'a this. Who could resist all'a this greatness?”

I roll my eyes 'n' suck my teeth. “Boy, bye. With ya conceited butt.”

He laughs. “Nah. Never that. All confidence, boo.”

“Mmph.” I twist my lips. “Sounds more like confusion to me.”

Cease stays silent for a moment. Across the room at another table I see these two brown-skin chicks arguing with some tall, lanky boy with dreads. They both have a hand up on their hips 'n' the other jabbing the air, neck-rolling it. Mmph. They probably caught him cheating on them with another chick. Oooh, I don't want that to ever be me.

“Listen. No lie,” Cease finally says, leaning forward in his seat, resting his forearms on the table. “I'm tryna settle down, a'ight. I want a wifey. Somebody I can chill with on some exclusive type ish, feel me? I'm tired of the BS a lotta these silly chicks be into. I'm tired of trickin' wit' a buncha hoes. I want one shorty, feel me?”

I blink. Try to focus my sweeping gaze on anything other than him. But it's a struggle to not stare at his lips as he licks them. Ooh, this boy is really tryna do me 'n' I'm so not liking it.

“Well, good luck with that, boo. Let me know how you make out.” I glance at my watch. I'm so ready to blow this joint 'n' get away from him before I snatch off my panties 'n' stuff 'em in his mouth.

He laughs.

“Why you laughing?”

He shakes his head. “You make me laugh.”

I frown. “So what you sayin' is, I'm some kinda clown. Oooh, you tryna be messy.” He keeps laughing. “Boy, bye. Laugh all you want. But trust. I'm not even tryna entertain you.”

He stops laughing 'n' smiles, reaching over 'n' placing his big, warm hand over mine. “Yeah, I'm laughin'. You make me laugh, Fee. You make me smile, yo. That's a good thing, for real for real. I've never met a girl like you, yo. You different, Fiona. Special.”

I swallow, pulling my hand from beneath his.
Deargawd, if this boy keeps talking like this I might wanna give him a lil taste of heaven. Or throw up in the back of my mouth!
No boy has ever told me I was special. And the way he says it sounds . . . I don't know, strange. In a good way, if that makes sense. But still, I ain't even about to fall for the trap. No, ma'am. Fiona ain't the one to get mind fu . . .

“Damn, I wanna taste ya lips,” Cease says, slicing into my thoughts.

I blink, not sure of what he's just said. “Excuse me?”

“I wanna lean over 'n' kiss you right here,” he says, staring at me. He grins. “But I'ma be a gentleman.”

“Ummm.” I snap my fingers, waving the waitress over. “Check, please.”

“I
went out with Cease,” I say all nonchalant, looking over at Miesha as she drives down the Ave. I leave out the part about how we've been either talking on the phone or Skyping practically every night until almost one, two in the morning.

“What?!
Lies
, boo!
Lies!
” She gets all hyped, bouncing up 'n' down in her seat 'n' banging on the steering wheel. “When, boo? When?”

I laugh. “Last Saturday.”

“Ooh, you sneaky tramp!” She shakes her head, putting a hand up. “
Wait!
Wait. One. Minute!
Last
Saturday?”

“Yeah,” I say, shrugging, like it's no biggie.

“Uh-uh, hooker; no, ma'am! And you just
now
telling me this? Ooh, so we keeping secrets now, huh? Is that how we doin' it?”

I wave her on. “It's not a secret. I just didn't wanna pump it up to be more than what it was.”

She smirks. “Yeah, okay. You better give me details! And don't you dare leave a
gaaaawt
damn thang out! Nothing!”

I laugh, shaking my head. “Girl, there ain't much to tell. We went to Applebee's, then went to the movies afterward.”

She eyes me all suspicious like. “
And?
What else y'all do?”

I laugh. “Nothing.”

“Uh-huh,” she says skeptically. “I know you, tramp. Ya middle name ain't Hot Box for nothin'. Don't do me. I know you did the nasty with him.”

“Hahahaha.” I shake my head. “Ooh, you tryna be messy, boo.”

“Uh-huh. Whatever, hooker. I know you.”

I keep laughing. “No, for real. Trust. I didn't give up none'a this honeypot. After the movie, he dropped me off home. I gave him a kiss on the cheek, then climbed outta his truck 'n' went inside.” And, uh, um, well... then I raced my fast tail upstairs 'n' texted King to come over. I let him slobber on my cookie, getting it all wet 'n' soggy. Mmph. But she don't need to know all'a that. No ma'am, no sir.

Oooh, but I can't even lie. Cease's face kept popping up in my head, killing my dang vibe. I couldn't even enjoy myself. It got so bad I had to finally pry King's sticky mouth away from my treats 'n' show him to the door. Oh, it was so horrible.

I press my thighs together.

“So, are y'all talking now?”

I shrug. “Who? Me 'n' Cease? Ooh no, boo. We're just having fun, I guess.” Umm,
hellooo
?
Helloooo?
Is anybody home? I know I said me 'n' Cease been kinda talking, but I'm not gonna tell her
that
. Oh no, hun. You can't tell everything, all at once. Some things you just gotta let marinate a bit, then pour it slowly. Like this. “You know me,” I say, tossing my hair. “No strings attached, boo. I'm not even tryna get all caught up. Trust.”

She eyes me, twisting her lips up. “Well, you need to stop the lies 'n' snatch that boy up before one of them lil birds swoops down on him. The thirst is real, trust.”

I roll my eyes. “Who, you mean that big-titty
bish
, LuAnna?” Oops. The minute it slips outta my mouth, I cringe at how messy 'n' jealous it sounds. And trust, Fiona ain't messy or jealous of no chick. No ma'am, no sir. Never that. Still, every time I turn around LuAnna got her face all up in Cease's. A few times I had to fight myself to keep from running up on her 'n' snatching her edges out. Ooh, she's lucky I got saved 'n' changed my ways. Well, and the fact that I ain't tryna go back to jail again.

“Wellllll, since you mentioned it,” Miesha says. “
Yessss
. She's one of 'em.”

“Girl, boom. That chicken hawk can cluck around him all she wants. If he wants to pluck feathers, let 'im. We ain't in no kinda competition, trust.”

“Oh, I heard that.” She pulls into the school parking lot. And of course Miss Thing parks
way
too far from the dang school. I mean. All those empty spaces up front 'n' she parks
waaaay
back here, like she's tryna go hiking in heels. Mmph. Where they do that at? But since I'm the happy passenger I keep my happy mouth shut. But don't think I ain't rolling my eyes up in my head.

I flip down the mirror 'n' recheck my lip gloss before sliding outta the car 'n' shutting the door. I pull my shades down over my eyes, launching myself into the warm morning air.

“Ooh, I hope I don't wilt before I make it inside the building,” I say sarcastically. “Fiona's too sweet to be out in the heat.”

She gives me a dismissive wave, walking alongside me. “Girl, bye. Fiona better be lucky she ain't getting here on foot, okay?”

“Ooh, don't do me. You know I don't do messy. I can't wait to get my L's. Trust.”

She laughs. “Um, sweetie. In case you didn't know it, you need to take the test first, then pass it.”

“Ooh, you still tryna be messy.” I pat her butt. “With ya ole big-juicy-booty-havin' self.”

She snaps her neck in my direction. “Girl, I keep telling you I ain't into those kinda freak games. Don't get ya jaw cracked.”

I giggle. “Ooh yes, crack it, boo. Crack it real good. Yes, gawd,
hunni
! You know I like it rough.”

“Omigod! You so nasty!”

“Oooh, keep talkin' dirty, boo.” I crack up laughing.

“
Bish
, bye,” she says, stomping off, her heels clicking against the gravel.

 

When the fourth-period bell finally rings, I am the first one to snatch up my things 'n' hit the door, darting out into the hallway. And just as I get down the hall 'n' I'm about to turn the corner, I run smack into Brent.

“Oops.”

“Oh, hey,” he says, hoisting his book bag over his shoulder.

“Hey,” I say back, letting my eyes roam up 'n' down his body.

He looks over my shoulder, then brings his gaze on me. “Listen. I was wondering, if you're not doing anything later, if you wanted to chill after school today.”

“You tryna feed me?”

He grins. “True.”

“Oh, okay.” I look down the hall 'n' see LuAnna walking up on Cease. I will myself to keep from rolling my eyes at the sight of that bird. I bring my attention back to Brent. “Call me when we get outta school 'n' I'll let you know if I'm free.”

“A'ight, cool. I'll talk to you later.”

“See ya.” We go in opposite directions. Yeah, I might grace him with my presence. But I hope he doesn't think I'ma give him another round of goodness, 'cause he's gonna get his feelings hurt. You only get one shot at doin' this body right. If you flop, you get dropped. Sorry, boo-boo. The stairway to heaven is sealed shut from him. Trust.

“Yo, Fiona, wait up.” I look over my shoulder, eyeing Cease as he run-walks his way up to me. I slow my stroll a taste until he reaches me. “Wassup, baby?” he says, grinning.

“Boy, boom. Come again. I'm not ya
baby
.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah . . . that's what ya mouth says.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever.”

“Yeah, a'ight.” He follows me down the stairs to the first floor. “Listen. I wanna see you tonight.”

I blink. “Oh.”

“Can you make time for me?”

I smirk. “Maybe.”

“Yeah, a'ight. Whatchu mean,
maybe
?”

“It means what it means. Maybe.”

“Maybe what?”

“
Maybe
I might have other plans.”

“Cancel them.”

“Mayyyybeee, I don't wanna cancel 'em.”

“I'm worth it.”

“Mayyyybeee, you're not.”

He laughs. “Cancel ya plans 'n' come find out.”

“Umm, no. Why should I?”

“ 'Cause I told you, I'm worth it.”

“Not good enough.”

“A'ight. How 'bout this.” He stops at the bottom of the stairwell. “I'm tryna be ya man. Is that good enough for you?”

I blink, rapidly shaking my head. “Oh no, oh no. I already told you I'm not signing up for that. Fiona ain't looking for no man, trust. A boo-daddy with no strings attached, maybe. But you can cancel all that
I'm tryna be ya man
talk. It ain't happening.”

He laughs. “Yo, here you go with the BS. I ain't tryna hear all that.”

I smirk. “Well, you better hear it 'n' hear it good. Fiona Madison ain't the one. I already told you that.” I swing open the door, then shake my hips on down the hall.

He laughs, following behind me. “Yeah, I know all about them lil diva rules of yours. But I ain't tryna hear all that. We 'bout to make some new rules that include me, starting tonight.”

“Boy, boom! Come again. Not gonna happen.”

We go back 'n' forth with this foolery 'n' him still tryna press me to chill with him tonight, all the way to the lunchroom. But I still ain't saying yes. And I ain't saying no, either. So he drops it,
finally
.

“Yo, you sitting with Miesha today?” I tell him no. She's spending her lunch with her boo in his car or hers doing whatever they do.

“Oh, a'ight.” He holds open the cafeteria door for me. “I'ma go hit the weights real quick. But I'ma get at you later, a'ight?”

I look at him. “Okay, bye.”

He blows me a kiss. “Tonight. Me 'n' you, a'ight? Don't play me, yo.”

“Meathead, boom! Ain't nobody tryna play you. Trust. You couldn't handle me
playing
with you, anyway. With ya ole ugly self.”

He laughs. “Yeah, a'ight. I got ya meathead all right. And lots of it.”

“Middle finger up,” I say, walking off, popping my hips. I feel his eyes on my phatty as it bounces 'n' shakes.
Yeah, watch it pop, boo-daddy!
I glance over my shoulder. And, boom! Just like I knew. He's still standing there at the door, grinning.