Designer Genes - The Boyfriend Cut (26 page)

"Why Jordan? Don't you understand how scared I am? I need to protect myself from getting hurt. I'm afraid you'll break my heart, or…I'll break yours. That would kill me, either way. I can't lose you."

Clarity hit with the residual cold droplet from the showerhead. While it didn't change the fact I was mad as hell, I could no longer deny the truth. I'd fallen in love with Jordan Mason.

The shiny hospital floors mirrored the empty gurneys lining the hallway, waiting for their next passengers. Grandma's room was at the end of a long, dimly lit corridor. Dad and I halted in the doorway, afraid to enter.

Grandma's frail body lay propped on pillows, the pale blue white light above her bed illuminating her face, accentuated her sunken cheeks and the dark circles surrounding her eyes. Her gray hair, pulled taut off her face, matched the sallow hue of her skin and the expression on her face appeared more severe than I remembered.

The machine keeping her alive hissed and pumped. The monitor showed an erratic heart rate with sharp spikes and dips. A second line at the bottom stretched flat, no fluctuation in the neon green line measuring her brain activity. By all medical determinations, Grandma Davis was already dead. A part of me hoped we'd get here and she'd be awake and ready to go back to the care facility, or it would be over.

The doctor and two nurses arrived shortly after us, standing as sentries on each side of Grandma's deathbed. "Would either of you like to say anything before we start?"

The doctor's words shocked me and I became a stone statue next to my father.

Dad tugged my arm, "Marli? Do you want to say goodbye?"

Hell no! If I touch her, death cooties will attach to me forever. It will be her ultimate revenge on me.
I prayed the terror I felt inside didn't show on my face.

My father's eyes glistened. Before him lay his mother, frail and unmoving, and he would be the one to end her existence. My superstitious fears seemed childish compared to his daunting task. I had no choice.

I stroked the top of her silver haired head, tucking back a couple of loose strands. Cautiously, I leaned in, pressing a light kiss to her cheek. "Bye Grandma."

Stepping back a few paces, I watched Dad cradle her in his burley arms, clenching her fragile body to his chest. A heart wrenching sound poured from him and uncontrollable tears drenched both our faces.

One by one, the tubes were removed. Monitors beeped once, twice, before the jagged red line smoothed straight, parallel to the green line beneath. The nurse turned the machines off and a tangible silence enveloped the room. Then I heard it—the gasping shudder of death officially consuming my grandmother. A surreal horror swamped me with the realization I'd witnessed the end of a human life.

Recoiling from the gruesome scene, I bolted out the door, my legs racing to catch up with the rest of me. I crashed through double metal doors and raced past a nurse's station until my legs crumpled. My face slapped the cold tile floor and I curled into ball and wept.

Blindly, I reached for the handrail, slowly pulling myself upright. A nurse who chased me, stopped when I rested my hand against the glass window and the diamonds in my pink bracelet sparkled under the lights. She silently backed away.

My breathing slowed and I focused on the scene before me. Without realizing, I'd ran into the maternity ward. Standing in front of the nursery window, I gazed at the newest members of the human population lined up in clear plastic boxes, tagged and marked for shipment into the world. I noticed the common link between them. A patch pasted behind each bitty right ear, covering the implanted chip. I wondered how many of these tiny bundles would be chosen as candidates for The Program?

I swept my moist cheeks with the back of my hand and stepped away from the window, fighting for air. My life spun out of control and I feared gravity alone could no longer keep my feet firmly planted on earth.

The sun's rays stretched through the windows at the end of the empty hall I aimlessly wandered, and the silhouette of a man walked in front of the shaft of light. I knew immediately who it was, even if I thought it totally impossible.

"Jordan!"

Sprinting down the hall and jumping into his arms, I nearly knocked him to the ground. Clinging to him as if he was the very oxygen I needed to breathe, I fisted his shirt collar and pressed my face against his neck
.
The soft locks of hair I fingered smelled of coconut-scented shampoo and the warm skin held a hint of his signature cologne.

Jordan carried me to a bench along the wall, safeguarding me within his arms. I raised my head to compassionate eyes staring back.

"It's okay. I'm here." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a dry handkerchief.

I wiped my cheeks and runny nose, mortified when I saw the huge wet spot on his shirt from my tears. "Sorry, I'm such a mess."

"Yes, but you're
my
mess and beautiful, in a swollen-red-snotty-nose sort of way."

A feeble smile eased on my face. It was true. I was his
.
At least for ninety days.

"Why aren't you with your dad?"

"I freaked and ran when that eerie sound..." My voice disappeared when the nightmare rushed forward.

"The 'death rattle.' I should have warned you."

I tipped against Jordan's shoulder, clenching his handkerchief. "I can't believe it's over—that Grandma is really dead." I inhaled a deep breath, holding it for a moment and closing my eyes. A soft kiss christened each eyelid.

"She's in a better place now."

I lifted my eyes to his. "Do you believe Heaven exists, Jordan?"

"I hope there's something better after this life." His thumb swiped over my damp cheek. "Although now that you're part of mine, life's pretty terrific the way it is."

The stress of the day took its toll on Rick and he returned to the hotel. Tomorrow would prove to be another grueling day. Jordan and I headed for the beach to watch the sunset. I needed to rinse my mind with ocean breezes and desperately wanted some time alone with him.

The sun faded on the horizon, its rays fanning outward in bright golden fingers against an amber sky. We found a private stretch of beach below the canopy of a cliff, kicking off our shoes and digging our toes into the cool, damp sand.

"I miss the ocean," I mused aloud. "Something about sitting on warm sand and having the sea kiss your toes is so romantic."

Jordan tugged me down beside him. "Speaking of romantic…" His teeth lightly nipped my jaw and his lips wandered the side of my neck. "We have this beach all to ourselves. It would be shame to waste the moment." His eyes reflected the final rays of the day, turning a dark topaz color.

"I love your eyes. They change color with the world around you—hypnotic."

His fingers wrapped my neck, gently bringing my lips to his. "Do I have you under my spell?"

I ran my tongue along his bottom lip, his eyes turning the color of dark whiskey.

"Definitely."

He cradled my head, holding me against his lips in a kiss filled with an intimacy we'd never shared before. He pulled back, tenderly stroking my cheek with his knuckles, his eyes soaking me in.

"I love how you feel on my lips."

"I kind of like being there."

Threading my hands into his thick hair, I pulled him back to me. Our bodies entangled, rolling together in the sand. Jordan moved on top of me and settled between my legs, key body parts pressed together. All the blood in my body heated and pooled deep. Despite my inexperience, I could tell by his body's reaction the wild craving to touch, and be touched, coursed through him with the same impatient heat flooding my own body.

He buried his face in my hair, kissing down my neck, until his tongue tasted the skin under the lace edge rimming my neckline. My breath caught in my throat and goose bumps rushed beneath the fingertips feathering across the bare skin between my shirt and jeans. Jordan lifted slightly, gazing at me without moving his hand from where it pressed my stomach, the heat searing my bare skin and everything inside me.

"Look at me," he beckoned.

I struggled to find enough oxygen to fill my lungs when dark, wanton eyes held my mine captive as I pushed each button on his shirt through the tiny holes until the fabric lay loose. The sight of his smooth chest turned my mouth dry. I pushed his shirt off and tasted the salty dew on his naked skin, feeling his moan rumble against my mouth.

Jordan flattened me into the sand, the kiss in response reckless and demanding. His hand snaked under my shirt and settled over my satin bra. I remained locked in his gaze, gripping his upper arms, unable to fight the dizzying thrill surging through me. He eased my top higher and a sharp breath burned my throat when his head dipped and he lightly sucked the skin along the edge of my bra. I purred low in my throat and small puffs of air warmed the damp skin when I felt his lips pull into smile.

"Am I pushing my luck?"

"I'm not sure." My eyes glossed over when he purposely shifted his hips and his fingers stroked my skin causing sweet, seductive shivers to build. "Maybe" sputtered on a quickening breath. I no longer heard the surf pounding the rocks, only the rush of blood in my ears, my focus centered on Jordan's touch.

His lips curled over the shell of my ear. "Want me to stop?"

I bit my lip against the delightful agony blooming. "I…
no
," the latter sliding into a sensuous slur. My subconscious folded her arms in disapproval.

"Jordan?"

"Hmm?" he mumbled, concentrating on torturing me more than forming words.

"What would happen if...if we went all the way?"

Everything
came to a halt. I even wondered for a moment if Jordan actually stopped breathing, except I felt his heart hammer wildly against my palms.

He rolled to the side of me. "We'd be kicked out of The Program."

"Maybe it's worth it." I smoothed my shirt down and curled into the crook of his arm. "We could run away—"

"No!" He cut my sentence short, his tone sharp. "Damn! I shouldn't have let things go so far. I need to remain in control," he muttered with self-reproach. He sat up and leaned on his knees, his tone brittle. "Leaving The Program isn't an option, Marli."

I knelt beside him. "Jordan, there are always options."

He wouldn't look at me, eyes fixed forward watching the last remnants of the sunset kiss the horizon goodbye. "Not for me and definitely not for you." The stern declaration closed it to further discussion.

Anger flickered. "
You
don't choose my options, Jordan."

His fingers scraped the back of his neck and he granted me a fleeting look over his shoulder. Nothing more.

"You're right. Not
me
. But the answer is still 'no.'"

I should have left things alone, but I sensed something more. "Are you hiding something?"

He refused to look at me when he answered. "Nothing you need to worry about."

I scrambled to my feet and snatched my sandals. "I hate secrets."

Jordan grabbed his shirt, sending a cloud of sand into the air. "Dammit Marli, let this go, please." I brushed by him and he caught my arm. "Don't be like this." I jerked loose and marched toward the trail leading to the parking lot above. "Marli!" I didn't answer or slow my march. "Whatever. Run away!"

My teeth ground together. I whipped around, stopping him from coming closer. "I'm not the one running from something. Damn! You're so frustrating!"

Taking a shortcut straight up the hill, Jordan beat me to the car. When I reached for the handle, he pushed me up against the passenger side. "Stop this. You don't understand. There are forces at play here, Marli, and neither of us can afford to make mistakes right now."

I leveled an icy stare. "I'm not dumb. You're covering up something and lying about it.

"I've never thought of you as dumb and I'm sorry you don't trust me."

"Same here."

We drove back to the hotel in silence. It wasn't until we stood at the suite door that Jordan spoke, his voice distant as he announced he'd get another room. Exactly the opposite of what I wanted. I needed him here with me, but I could tell by his stiff posture that he still harbored some anger from the beach. Mine had waned in the forty-five minute drive.