Designer Genes - The Boyfriend Cut (22 page)

Tears mixed with fruity snot dribble. I missed Jordan's call because I was in Alaska with some guy I didn't want to meet, standing naked in his bathroom. Wanting to kill Alex no longer remained a passing thought.

Black jeans, white button-up shirt, and burgundy faux leather jacket were as "casual" as I could get without wearing pajamas. After pulling on my boots, I walked out on the balcony, still bummed about missing Jordan's call.

Maybe he wanted to apologize—beg me to take him back.
Right
. He wasn't the one sucking the face off someone else. He probably called to permanently end things. Why deal with the drama? It was obvious I lacked self-control. I stood on a balcony in Alaska, for heaven's sake. Regret filled me. I'd accept my consequence with dignity and move on. Maybe the Fates had a hand in landing me in Alaska.

An odd buzzing vibration in my pocket startled me. My cell receptor came back to life, and a handsome face covered with a frantic expression stared back. Frightened to know the reason for Jordan's call, not to mention forced to divulge my latest impulsive decision, I purposely waited until the last ring to answer.

"Hello?"

"Marli! Where are you? Why haven't you answered my calls?" His sharp tone matched the expression on the screen.

I acted coy. "Jordan?"

His lips disappeared, but his voice softened. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. You're the one upset."

"I-I'm worried. Why won't anyone tell me where you are?"

The Program tracked me by my pink wrist shackle, but I deliberately set the GPS on my receptor to "private" so only Rick knew my whereabouts.

"Why do you care? You said you needed space. Besides, the last time I told you the truth about something, you ran away."

"Okay, I admit I handled things badly and wish I could take it all back, even though I had good reason. Please tell me where you are."

"You walked out on me, Jordan."

"And what you did with Jesse hurt. I thought we meant more to each other, but right now, I only care about where you are."

"I'm not ready to tell you, and my understanding is we're dating
.
To me, dating means I can see other people."

"I meant date each other
.
If you want to see other guys I guess I can't stop you. But not Jesse. I don't trust him. He's not even in The Program—a fact he seems to forget. Where are you?"

"Who said anything about trusting Jesse? I'm asking you to trust me. I trust you. You can't tell me you sit around alone all the time. So? Who else is in your life?"

Nail prints appeared in my palms from my clenched fists. I couldn't stand the thought of Jordan's mouth kissing another girl's, or his arms holding someone else. I wanted to take back my question, especially since Jordan took his sweet time answering.

"Will you tell me where you are if I answer your question?"

"Depends."

"Her name is Heather Sandberg."

Is
as in
current
girlfriend.

"Oh." I should have stopped right there, but my seventeen-year-old brain groveled for more. "How long have you been with Heather?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't do this."

"How long?"

"On and off for about two years. She studies abroad and the long distance relationship hasn't worked."

"I'm long distance
,
" I pointed out.

"Yes, but the difference is I want you in my life. I'll make it work.

"Are you sure it's not just because we're 'matched?'"

Jordan sighed hard. "The Program doesn't control my feelings. The day I met you, I called Heather and broke things off. Please, tell me where you're at?"

"Is it really over?"

"Dammit Marli! Where the hell are you?"

He didn't answer my question, so I wouldn't answer his. "Not yet."

"Fine! Heather and I dated my senior year of high school. I think I held onto her because I liked having a girlfriend, not so much because I liked Heather. She isn't someone I could spend my life with—she's nothing like you. Yes, as far as I'm concerned, it's over.
Now
?"

My gnawed bottom lip felt raw. "Is she a candidate?"

The vein at his temple pulsed. I'd pushed too far. "Yes…and five diamonds, to answer your next question, but not compatible—and I'm not talking genetically
.
" He exhaled an exasperated breath. "Please?"

I bit my lip harder, processing this new revelation. Jordan was involved in a relationship with a girl worthy of five diamonds, and possibly not "past tense."

Bitch
.

"Not so easy, is it? Jealousy tastes nasty when it's served back to you," he said.

"I'm not jealous of your ex- girlfriend, if indeed she is out of your life," I lied, seething with envy. "It's a surprise, that's all. You've never mentioned any other girls. Are there more?"

"Is there anyone besides Sam? And no, nobody serious. Like I said, Heather never mattered that much, and
yes,
she's out of my life. Maybe that's why I've never said anything. She became ancient history the instant you became my present. Now can we be through with this conversation?"

"For now. And there wasn't anyone before Sam…unless you count Tommy Green. He was my second grade crush and the first boy who kissed me. I punched him and got sent home from school."

Jordan laughed. "That must have been some kiss. Next time I'll stand back and watch for your wicked right hook."

"Next time? Are you sure there'll be one?

Jordan's cheeks puffed full, all humor gone. "I'd like one. Marli, I'm sorry I get jealous, but I can't help it. You're too important to me and it's hard to trust anyone around you."

The tiny flare of anger fizzled with his declaration. However, he had to understand where it came from. "I need your trust, Jordan, without exception."

"I get that, but I can't make promises where Jesse's concerned."

"You think I'm with him now, don't you?" At least with Jesse Jordan knew his competition.

He hesitated. "Sorry, yes. He's not answering his receptor either. I'm going crazy."

"Mine got wet and powered out." I paused, letting him squirm. "Breathe. I'm not with Jesse. He's at your family's beach house."

"How do you know that?"

"I called him the other night to thank him for the concert tickets. By the way, I
am
going."

"We'll talk about it later."

"No
.
I'm going."

"Maybe." The next sigh sounded rough. "This is hard for me, Marli. So, if you're not with Jesse, where are you? I'm a nervous wreck."

I pulled as much oxygen into my lungs as possible, bracing for the aftermath. "I'm…in Alaska."

"
Alaska?
What are you doing there?" Jordan grew quiet, his tone apprehensive. "You opened the red envelope, didn't you? You're in Alaska to interview."

"Yes—"

"Don't! Don't interview. Come home."

His voice held an edge of fear and suddenly, I wished things could be so easy…that I could simply call and say "I've changed my mind." The Program, however, never made anything easy.

"Jordan, you know the drill. I can't."

His expression showed the disquiet consuming him. "Why did you open it?"

I rolled my eyes. "
Someone
suggested I should."

"I didn't think you really would. I thought—"

"What? That I'd just patiently wait around until you decided to come back?" Which I'd have done if Alex hadn't opened the envelope.

"Something like that, I'm ashamed to admit."

We were headed into the same argument, both wanting control—both needing trust. He called me stubborn, but he didn't know about the betrayal I'd suffered, nor could I tell him. Because of what happened, I worried I'd never be able to totally trust in one person. The harder Jordan tried to keep me close, the more pieces of my guard fell away. The fear I'd lose myself entirely pushed me the opposite direction.

"Damn Program!"

"Jordan, stop. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter. I can't lose you. I love you!"

My voice cracked with the skipped heartbeat. "What?"

"Nothing."

I struggled to catch my breath. "Didn't sound like 'nothing.'" I waited, but no response. My heart pounded so hard, it hurt. "Jordan?"

"I think I'm falling in love with you."

"You
think
?"

"No. I'm positive. I can't quit thinking about you. I don't eat or sleep, and when I'm away from you and you don't answer my calls, my imagination goes wild."

"Oh my." The words tumbled from my mouth shaky and uncertain.

"Damn. This isn't how I intended to tell you and it's the last thing you need to hear right now. I apologize. I know you hate pressure and I keep doing it. Forget I said anything."

Seconds passed like hours before I could answer. I fingered the silky fabric of the drapes edging the balcony door.

"I can't forget something so huge and you're wrong, Jordan. I do want to hear it. I like the way I feel when you say it, but that's all I can give you right now.

"I didn't expect you to say it back." His video feed went dark and I chose to believe it happened because of water damage and not because he deliberately shut it off.

"Don't lie. Yes you did and I wish I could, but it's too soon. Everything's happened so fast and I'm confused. The only thing I'm sure about is that I don't want you to go away."

Jordan's handsome face filled the screen once more, his signature twisted smile crumbling another chunk of my guard away—the chink in my armor.

"Babe, I'm not going anywhere."

The clock in the living room chimed the magic hour. "I have to go."

"Tell me he's ugly, old and wrinkled."

A giggle burst forth. "You know three years age difference is the max, so unless you consider yourself 'old and wrinkly,' he's also nineteen."

"You didn't say he's ugly."

"Enough Jordan. I really need to go."

"What's his name?"

"Can't say. You know the rules."

"Damn! I hate this."

I leaned over the balcony. Doug waved from the parking lot below.

"I'm hanging up now. Good night."

The screen turned black without a reply and the awkward goodbye pinched. I remained glued to the terrace. Jordan loved me. I possibly loved him. The problem?

Door Number 3.

14

MY ALASKA

"F
ate" walked in donning blue jeans and a beige sweater. His tousled hair glistened with shine enhancer and his deep blue eyes sparkled. First date jitters hit and I wicked my sweaty palms along the sides of my jeans.

Doug's eyes skimmed the length of my body. "Wow. You look terrific."

"You don't look half bad yourself." I took the hand offered and walked beside him to the entrance. "Can't wait to see what you've got planned on your dazzle-meter."

The hotel doors opened to a glossy black jeep with enough gleaming chrome that sunglasses were required. Doug grinned when my tongue slammed the pavement.

"Is this more 'Alaska worthy' for you?"

"It's something all right." He opened the door and steps automatically extended below the shiny bumpers. "Hmm, for a minute I thought I'd need to be airlifted into the seat."

"Great, 'height' jokes. I can't win." He jumped into his seat, giving me a wink. "How's my dazzle so far?"

I gave him a playful once over with my eyes. "Are we talking about you or the jeep?"