Demonosity (20 page)

“No, I was actually just checking how you’re doing.”

“I’m fine,” she assured him before catching sight of her pale face in the hallway mirror. “Okay, so not fine, but I’ll get there,” she promised. She just needed to focus on something else. Like breathing. Or not screaming and ripping her hair out. Simple tasks.

“Just try not to keep thinking about it. It’s only going to freak you out more.”

Too late for that
, she thought with a sigh.

Thankfully, the rest of the night was surprisingly calm. Her dad was in a good mood, and when he wasn’t declaring that he was going to order compression stockings in all different colors and patterns, he was talking about how tomorrow he had an extra physical therapy session at the outpatient center.

After dinner they’d all gone into the living room to watch an old James Dean movie, and even her mom, who normally had a stack of reports next to her, had sat through all of it without doing any work. In fact, Cassidy couldn’t remember when they’d spent a more regular night together.

It was almost eleven when she walked into her bedroom. The light rapping on the window started almost immediately, and for a few moments Cassidy ignored it. She didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. Especially not Thomas. He rapped again, and she reluctantly crossed the floor and pushed back the drapes. But instead of seeing an owl hovering outside her window, it was Travis who stood in the shadows, his beautiful face looking sunken and gray.

“Hey, Cass,” he said, his voice still hauntingly the same. “So I was wondering if you were ready to talk?”

For a moment she just stared at him, speechless, before finally nodding her head. “Okay, but not here. There’s a park two blocks away. Meet me there in ten minutes. Oh, and Travis, I’ll be bringing my sword.”

T
wenty minutes later, Travis looked over at the child’s swing that Cassidy was sitting in, the sword resting across her lap. It was dark now, and the moonlight glinted off the blade; from the distance came the thumping bass of a car stereo pounding its way down the road. “You know,” Travis said, “I get why you’re holding Thomas’s sword in case I attack you, but this whole talking-to-each-other thing works a lot better if you actually say something. Do you hate me?”

“Do you care?” She finally lifted her head and dared to look at him, but it was no good. Every time she saw him, her eyes said Travis but her mind said demon.

“How can you ask that?” He joined her on the swings, his long muscular legs looking ridiculous as he tried to make himself fit.

“Well, you’re a demon, so how am I to know what you think or how you feel? Or why you even bothered to spend time with me?” She resumed her study of the gravel below her feet. Next to her, Travis leaned back on the swing so that his torso was parallel to the ground. He looked so normal that suddenly the words choked from her throat: “How could you even become one? Nash said that it’s a choice.
Why would you choose to be like those things I fought?
”

Travis’s normally brown eyes suddenly swirled with amber, so intense and angry that if she’d been in any doubt he truly was a demon, the question was now put to rest. She tightened her grip on the sword in her lap and tried not to flinch.

“You don’t need the weapon,” he said, but instead of looking at her, he stared up at the night sky, perhaps aware that his eyes had changed. “And for once your clever friend is wrong. Most demons are made. But not all. I was born like this. You talk about choice, but I had none, Cass.
This is my life.
Whether I want it or not.”

“You were born like this? I-I didn’t realize.” Confusion once again descended on her. How was she meant to make sense of anything when the rules kept changing? However, Travis seemed unaware of her turmoil.

“Why would you?” he asked, and when he turned back, his eyes were once again the warm brown that she was used to.

“So is that why you don’t look like those other ones?”

He shrugged. “I guess. I never really stopped to ask my true father. He wasn’t a hang-around-and-chat kind of guy. I just look the way I look.
I feel the way I feel.
”

“I don’t follow what you’re saying.” Cassidy felt like the confusion was going to choke her.

“That’s because you don’t understand what it’s like to be a demon.” He clenched his jaw. “It hurts. All the time. Intense physical pain as the demon inside tries to push out through my flesh like a monster. S-sometimes it’s too much. It gets hard to fight it.”

“But you
do
fight it. Is that why you told me that not all demons are bad?” Cassidy asked, longing for him to give her a reason to believe in him. Instead, he gave a little bark of laughter.

“I think Nash would remind you that good and bad are variable, depending on where you’re standing. I mean, I’m not all good. I did cheat on that book report the other day.”

“Travis, can you be serious? I’m trying to understand this,” she protested, while forcing herself to ignore just what effect his smile was having on her.

“Okay. Sorry, too soon for humor. In answer to your questions, I’m not always good, but I’m not always bad. And I’ve done many things that I regret.”

“Like what?” Her voice was a little above a croak as she steeled herself for whatever things he had done.

“Like kissing you.” He studied his shoe.

“You regret kissing me?” Cassidy’s hand flew to her mouth. She was the one who had kissed a demon. Shouldn’t she be the one doing the regretting?

“Sorry, that was badly phrased. I don’t regret kissing you. Definitely not. What I meant was that it was selfish of me to kiss you before you knew who I was. You deserve honesty.”

“Oh.” She flushed, but before she could say anything else he took a deep breath.

“Also, I shouldn’t have kissed you because I know that Thomas has feelings for you.”

For a moment it seemed like the whole world had gone silent as Travis’s words hung between them like physical things that Cassidy could reach out and touch. But as with Thomas, when she stretched out her hand, nothing was there but air.

“I’ve got no idea what’s happened between you and Thomas in the past, but you are wrong about this,” she said, but Travis merely laughed. It was rich with just a hint of bitterness in it.

“No I’m not. Thomas and I might be very different, but I know him.
I really know him.
And despite all of that there-is-only-duty claptrap he likes to spout, he has feelings for you.”

Cassidy felt her cheeks flame as she jumped up from the swing. This was too much. All of it. Travis. Beautiful Travis, who she now knew was a demon living in constant pain, was telling her that the infinitely less beautiful and much more bad-tempered Thomas, a medieval freaking knight from the fourteenth century, was crushing on her. Then she realized that Travis was curiously studying her reaction, and she walked back to him, still holding on to the sword.

“So you and Thomas have fought, and it was you who gave him the scar on his cheek,” she said. When Travis nodded his head, she continued. “Is that why you kissed me? To piss him off?”

“Nope. That was just an added bonus,” Travis confessed before he stood up so that he was just inches from her, his muscular chest so close that it was all she could do not to reach out and touch him. Then he looked down, his dark eyes locking on hers. “And I would kiss you again right now if you’d let me.”

“Do I have a choice?” Cassidy was filled with both longing and horror as she realized that if he wanted to kiss her, then she would be unable to resist. But instead of pressing his mouth against hers, Travis stepped back from her and shook his head in annoyance.

“Cass, how many times do I have to tell you? You
always
have a choice.” He began to stalk around the playground in powerful strides, looking like an avenging ghost in the darkness. As his stride increased, his fists clenched, and suddenly she wondered if his dark eyes had once again turned to swirling pits of amber. Finally, he turned back to her, his lips twisted in disappointment. “Don’t you get it yet? I would never hurt you. It’s just not possible.”

Cassidy’s whole body shook as she longed to cover the distance between them. But she forced herself to stay where she was. “And what about my family? My friends? Celeste?
What about Celeste?
I’m sure you saw her glowing before we put the amulet on her.”

“Ah, Celeste. The vessel. Even through her flesh the Black Rose radiated out with a bright but terrible beauty. So golden. So lovely. You have no idea how hard it was to not touch her.”

“But you didn’t.” Hope flooded through her. “Thomas said that all demons desired the Black Rose, but you didn’t touch Celeste. So you
are
good.”

Travis began to stalk about again, this time kicking the ground as he went. “Thomas is right.” His voice echoed around the empty playground. “But then again, he’s not often wrong. All demons desire the Black Rose. It’s as natural as breathing. We don’t think we want it, but rather our broken bodies demand it. It’s not goodness that has stopped me from taking the Black Rose. It’s a cursed ward that prevents me from getting it. Only a guardian can break it. A guardian like yourself.”

“Me?” Horror filled her voice. “Is that why you kissed me? So that I would hand the Black Rose over to you?”

“No. That’s why I wanted to meet you, certainly. But Cass, your aura is almost as irresistible as Celeste’s. How many times do I have to tell you? I kissed you only because I wanted to.”

“I still don’t understand this. Travis, I know you’re good, so how can you even think of wanting the Black Rose when it’s so evil?”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Travis gave a sharp shake of his head. “Thomas has been filling your head with his lies. The Black Rose isn’t designed to be good
or
evil; it just depends on who uses it. There is so much good that can be done with it. It offers immortality and power. Power to heal. Power to fix. Look around you at the world. The wars, natural disasters, disease. The Black Rose can fix them all. Thomas knows this, but he chooses to ignore it and thinks only of what can go wrong.”

“No, I’ve seen what happened in Paris. When I first touched Thomas’s sword, I saw the same vision he had. The burning. People dying.
I could hear their cries. I could feel their pain.
Travis, you can’t want that?”

“That was a mistake made by a human. A stupid Crusader. His body wasn’t strong enough to contain the power of the Black Rose. But demons are different. We’re designed for the Black Rose.
The Black Rose is designed for us.
” His dark eyes glittered with passion, his whole face so animated that it was like the sun shining down over her through the darkness. Travis saw her reaction and winced. “I’m sorry, but you need to know me for who I am. A demon. And it’s my destiny to have the Black Rose.”

“Then we have a problem.” Cassidy tightened her grip on the sword as the words caught in her throat. “I promised that I’d guard Celeste. If you try to hurt her, then that will make us enemies.”

“No.” He shook his head, his wild dark curls scattering across his forehead and his brown eyes sad. “Never enemies, Cass. Like I said, there is a ward on the Black Rose, so the only way I can get it is if a guardian gives it to me. Therefore, you have my word that Celeste won’t be harmed at my hands.”

“How do I know you’re not lying?” Her heart pounded in her chest.

“Ask your mighty Thomas. I have many faults, but I do not lie. Not ever.”

H
oney, if you don’t mind my saying, you look as if you haven’t slept in days,” her dad said the following Saturday as he wiped the sweat from his brow

More like a week.
Cassidy put down the resistance band she had been using to help him do his exercises and tried not to think about how horrible things had been lately. She was still training every morning with Thomas, who refused to tell her anything else about Travis than what she already knew, and the rest of the time she was following Celeste and trying to avoid Travis and his puppy-dog eyes. Not to mention doing schoolwork and spending time at home. Then she realized that her dad was still expecting an answer.

“I’ve just been busy with the play.” She gave a vague wave of her hand.

“Sure it’s nothing to do with the fight you had with Travis?” He studied her face, searching for answers.

“Travis who?” she asked in a light voice. “I’m just happy I found out about him before he came here,” she said truthfully, since the idea of a demon near her family made her throat tighten with anxiety. “And can we please change the subject?”

“Okay, fine. I know what we can discuss. Since I’ve graduated from crutches to a cane, I was thinking that we could do some grocery shopping. It’s Thanksgiving next week, and there is no way I’m letting your mother handle it. She’s so sensible that she would rather get a chicken than the largest turkey in the store.”

“Dad, I know you’re walking again, but facing the pre-Thanksgiving crowd is madness. Write me a list, and I’ll do the shopping with Nash tomorrow after school. And don’t even think of trying to sneak off to any Black Friday sales, either.”

“Okay, but only because I know Nash has exceptional taste and won’t let you get the bad cranberries. And speaking of Nash, I think I can hear his car. Where are you two going today?”

“Oh, we’re just going to hang out.” Cassidy smoothed her blue vintage dress and tied the laces of her Dr. Martens. She wasn’t trying to lie to her dad, but as usual, she and Nash had no idea where Celeste would be heading. She grabbed her denim jacket, which she had tossed on the couch, and gave him a kiss before heading out the door. As usual, she had put her sports bag out the window so that her parents wouldn’t question her about it.

They made the by-now-familiar drive to Celeste’s house in record time and sat there for about fifteen minutes before the garage door opened up and her SUV backed out onto the street. As Nash followed her, Cassidy checked Celeste’s Twitter and Facebook for an update, but there was nothing but a link to her favorite cosmetic company.

“We’re just going to have to follow her old-school style,” Cassidy said as Nash swung right at the lights. “Do you even know where this street goes?”

“Actually, I do,” Nash said in surprise. “It heads toward the public library.”

“Yes, but—” Cassidy began, assuming that Celeste’s SUV would go whizzing past the imposing Georgian building, but instead, she pulled around the back into the parking lot and got out. “Well, I did not see that one coming.”

“That makes two of us.” Nash parked his car and looked confused. “First we find out Celeste’s a virgin and now she’s going to the library on a Saturday? In the fourteenth century those would’ve been considered signs of an impending apocalypse.”

“And don’t forget the nursing-home thing,” Cassidy reminded him as they hurried in—Nash with his trusty leather satchel and Cassidy with her sports bag filled to the brim with weapons. There was no sign of Celeste, but since there were only two floors for studying, Cassidy knew she wouldn’t be hard to find. However, before they reached the stairs, Nash came to a halt.

“Actually, while we’re here, it would be wrong of me not to go into the William Manning Reading Room. I’ll be only a few minutes. I might be able to find something out about . . . well, stuff,” he finished off lamely, though Cassidy knew what he was really trying to find out was why Travis didn’t look like the other demons. Why he didn’t act like the other demons.
Why he’d kissed her.

“Of course. And thank you.” She watched him leave, knowing that he would probably lose all track of time once he got there. Still, at least he would be doing something useful. She climbed the stairs and scanned the first floor until she caught sight of the luminous tendrils of the Black Rose.

Cassidy took a seat three rows over so that she could still have a clear view, then randomly pulled out of her bag some books and her MP3 player, along with the grimoire and a small knife, which she put in her lap.

However, after two hours there was no sign of any demons, and the music that she’d been listening to hadn’t managed to take her mind off anything at all. Celeste was still sitting at a desk working, and Cassidy idly picked up her cell phone to make sure her dad hadn’t done anything stupid like go to the supermarket. But before she could scroll through her Twitter feed, Celeste stood up and headed over. Crap. Cassidy quickly leaned forward to look like she was studying, but it didn’t work. A moment later, Celeste was leaning over the top of the cubicle, her long dark hair cascading down her shoulders in a shiny tumble in a way that Cassidy’s never achieved.

“What a surprise to see you here. You really have turned into my shadow, haven’t you?”

“Um, no.” Cassidy shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m just studying.”
While I have a knife in my lap and a mystical book by my side
. She groaned as she realized that this could all end very badly, but Celeste hardly seemed to notice as she held up a copy of
Romeo and Juliet
.

“Well, since you’re here, you might as well make yourself useful. Do you want to read some lines with me?”

For a moment Cassidy just stared at her. “Are you joking?”

“Why would I joke? You are my understudy,” Celeste reminded her before she narrowed her eyes. “Unless of course you’re too busy with your new
boyfriend
. You know, that guy who screwed up the play.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Cassidy flinched at the mention of Travis, causing Celeste to raise a curious eyebrow. She quickly added, “And I don’t want to talk about it . . . but I would like to learn lines with you.”

“Thank you.” Celeste nodded. “There are some discussion rooms upstairs. We can go there. And by the way, thanks for distracting Rachel the other day. I’ve got a lot of stuff going on right now, and the last thing I needed was her trying to dig for dirt.”

Cassidy wasn’t really sure why it was so terrible that Celeste could fold a hospital corner, but then again she didn’t understand anything about Celeste and her Queen Bee world, so she just shrugged.

“It was no big deal. I’ve kind of spent my life avoiding people like her, so I guess it’s just second nature to throw her off track.”

“And you’re not even going to ask me why?” Celeste asked, but Cassidy shook her head.

“Not unless you want me to. I know all about having things you don’t want to talk about. Anyway, I’ll just pack up my stuff and meet you upstairs,” she said, and then waited until Celeste was gone before she put the knife and grimoire into her sports bag and sent Nash a quick text about what was happening.
And she’d thought that last week was weird.

By the time they left the library, Cassidy’s lack of sleep was catching up with her, and she waited in the front seat of Nash’s car while he walked with Celeste to her SUV, pointing out a particular section in the Renaissance art book she’d checked out. Nash had joined them in the discussion room after lunch to help them learn their lines, and because he was Nash, he’d been unable to stop himself from filling in the historical details of the play.

Personally, Cassidy didn’t really care, but Celeste seemed genuinely interested, which was what had prompted him to go find the book for her. Cassidy yawned and was just deciding what she should eat when she got home when the foul smell of tainted blood caught in her nose. Her pulse thumped through her veins and rang in her ears. A demon.

With a start she pushed open the car door and raced across to where Nash and Celeste were standing.

“Is everything okay?” Nash demanded, his sharp eyes immediately taking in her white knuckles, which were gripping the sports bag.

“Not so much,” Cassidy said as she widened her eyes and nodded to Celeste, who was once again looking at Cassidy like she was crazy. Cassidy ignored it, her nerves jangling with anticipation as she continued to scan the parking lot.

Then she saw it.

It was over at the far end of the library building, its amber eyes flashing in anger and confusion. It could obviously tell the Black Rose was somewhere nearby, but thanks to Nash’s amulet, it couldn’t find exactly where.

“Hey.” Celeste suddenly caught sight of it and moved closer to Nash. “That looks like the weirdo from Cade Taylor’s party. Rachel keeps seeing him everywhere, too.”

“What do you mean, Rachel keeps seeing him everywhere?” Nash demanded, obviously too curious even to notice that Celeste had grabbed his arm. But Cassidy ignored it as she turned to Nash and shot him a telling look.

“Okay, I’m going over,” she said, fear and nerves raging through her body.

“What?” Celeste squealed. “Why would you go over there? That guy is crazy. He totally pushed me over at the party.”

“Cass, no.” Nash shook his head, his blue eyes filled with worry. “You can’t.”

“I have to.” She tightened her grip on the sports bag. “You just make sure that nothing happens here.”

“Only if you promise me that you won’t do anything stupid. And that you’ll call Thomas.” Nash’s voice was hoarse as he squeezed her hand, and Cassidy reluctantly nodded. Behind her she could hear Celeste demanding, “Who the hell is Thomas, and why is Cassidy Carter-Lewis so freaking weird?” At this point in time, Cassidy didn’t feel equipped to answer that question. Instead, she hurried across the parking lot toward the demon.

“Thomas,” she hissed as the gravel crunched under her shoes. The creature had noticed her now, and its swirling amber eyes ignited with fury as it charged toward her.
“Thomas, hello, come in. I need your help.”

But there was no sign of the owl, and so instead of racing directly toward the demon, Cassidy darted down an alley behind a deserted building. Her plan was to lure it away from the public, and from Celeste, but as the demon increased its pace, Cassidy began to regret her decision. She didn’t want to fight it in a corner. Then she noticed that one of the doors to the deserted warehouse was kicked in. Without pausing she raced into the building, the demon just behind her.

The stench of blood and darkness clogged her nose while fear swirled in her belly as she pulled her sword and shield out of her sports bag.

“Thomas,” she cried out again, as she realized just how much harder it was when she was on her own. But before she could even think, the demon lunged at her, and she only just avoided having her neck hacked open by dropping to her knees. Her body instinctively remembered the drill Thomas had taught her, and she held up her shield just in time to block the next attack. But the force of it sent her falling back, and again she had to roll away before the demon knight could lunge at her.

She scrambled to her feet and cleared her mind.

Stance.
Thomas’s training came back to her. She braced her knees and held the sword high in the air, her other arm putting the shield up. The demon lunged at her again.
Block
. She lifted her shield up with more speed than she would’ve thought possible and felt the might of the creature’s sword vibrate through her entire body as she stopped it from slashing through her like an onion.
Attack
. She stepped forward and lunged. Her first parry was blocked by the demon, but it lifted its shield too high and Cassidy, spotting an opening, didn’t waste a second.

She thrust forward, sending the sword plunging into the creature’s chest. The runes along the blade of the sword blazed with power as they sliced through flesh and bone until the demon’s amber eyes widened and its sword clattered to the ground. She pulled her own sword out just before the creature fell forward.

Her heart was pounding so loudly now that she was surprised it was still in her body. She paused only long enough to pull her leather gauntlet off and fumbled for the lighter in her pocket and set fire to the hideous creature. It didn’t take long for the flame to catch, and Cassidy then used the fire to cleanse her own sword.

Every part of her ached, and she had been just about to collect the sports bag and make her way out to see if Celeste and Nash were okay when she heard a rustling noise from over in the corner. She slowly turned around to see a group of demons standing there. It looked as if they’d been asleep, but as their swirling amber eyes settled on the spot where their fallen comrade had just been burned, it was obvious that they were now very much awake.

For a moment Cassidy just stood there, frozen.

Were they living here? But how? It didn’t make any sense. Why were there demon knights in an old warehouse on the corner of Madison and Exeter—

Her conversation with Reuben came crashing back into her mind. He’d told her he’d seen a demon knight on Exeter Street near the deserted warehouses, but at the time she hadn’t thought any more about it. And of course Thomas had instructed her not to worry about them unless they attacked Celeste.