“It's really good,” I say.
The musician on stage begins to play and I refocus my attention.
My gaze locks onto him and my heart skips a beat.
Keegan sits on stage. He doesn't see meâhe watches his guitar as he playsâbut once he begins to sing, he looks out at the crowd.
My chest feels like it might explode as my heart thunders in tune with the song. He's gotten much better during his year of training. Of course, it might just be that I haven't heard him play in ages. His sweet voice washes over me, filling me with longing. I remember his hand holding mine, his eyes boring into me, telling me I was beautiful.
I just want to go home. I want to be a Middle again, with Keegan.
The song ends and the crowd claps. This time I clap, too.
If Sindy is aware of Keegan's identity, she hides it well. She continues watching the concert, but my eyes watch Keegan alone. He leaves the stage and another musician comes out.
My heart screams. Keegan is leaving! He's leaving me and I may never see him again. I have to get to him, but my mind works so fast that coming up with an excuse is impossible.
“Can we meet the musicians?” I blurt out.
Sindy glances away from the stage long enough to frown. “Why would you want to do that? They're all Middles.”
I laugh humorlessly. “So was I, just last week. Can I meet them or not?”
She shrugs and turns back to the stage. “I don't see why not.”
I bolt from my seat before she can change her mind.
“Hana!”
I ignore her and hurry toward an arched doorway to the left of the stage. No one stops me as I dash through it, but the hallway of doors confuses me and I stop. Keegan couldn't have made it out here and into one of these doors so fast, not when he was carrying all of his equipment. I move quickly through the hall, glancing inside open doorways.
Please let me see him
, I pray. Peace fills me, and a moment later Keegan walks from behind a curtain.
“Keegan!”
He stops, his back toward me, and turns slowly. A grin spreads across his face and I run toward him. Tossing all thoughts of obeying the rules aside, I throw myself at him. He laughs and doesn't attempt to catch me, since his arms are full of equipment. A speaker jabs my ribs so hard I'm sure I'll have a bruise tomorrow, but I don't care. Tears burn my eyes and I laugh and swipe them away.
“I can't believe it's you,” I say, pulling away. My whole body feels emptier when I'm not next to him.
He grins wider and shrugs. “I actually hoped to see you. I've come on this show every night for a week, just hoping you'd show up.”
“What?” Gratitude bursts through me.
“Everyone in Greater City loves music. I knew you would come eventually. When did you get here?”
“Three days ago. It's been really terrible, but I get all the hot water I want.”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “You shouldn't be telling a Middle that.”
He's right. They haven't schooled me on all the right and wrong things to say, but I'm pretty sure one of the things I shouldn't do is tell Middles or Lessers all the allowances the Greaters getâthat being unlimited ones.
“You're not a Middle to me. You're Keegan, and I'm so happy to see you.”
Another musician comes from one of the doors. She glances at us curiously.
“I should put this stuff up,” Keegan says, watching the girl. “I don't want to get you in trouble.”
“Oh. Right. Will I see you again?”
“Can you come tomorrow?”
I smile, relief pouring through me like the warm water of a hot bath. “Yes. I'll be here.”
He pauses but then rushes forward and kisses my cheek. His hot lips press into my skin and stay there for long, glorious seconds.
Keegan is kissing me.
It's my first kiss, and even though it's only on my cheek, it is more wonderful than I could ever dream. The last two months fade away and it's only Keegan and me, just like it's always been.
When he pulls away, he looks into my eyes.
Reading my reaction?
I'm too shocked to speak and all I can do is stare back.
He must like what he sees because after a second he smiles. “See you tomorrow.”
“Right. See you tomorrow.” But by the time I've said it, he's already gone.
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Sitting with Professor Higgins the next morning is torture. I try to concentrate on the things he's telling me, but it's hard when all I can think about is getting to see Keegan again tonight. He's my only link to home. He is my childhood friend and the boy I was supposed to marry.
He is the boy who kissed me.
My fingers rise to the spot his lips touched, and I smile.
Professor Higgins drones on, and I force myself to put last night out of my mind.
Besides, tiny specks of guilt float in my brain. What about Fischer?
“The files for the Lesser citizens are so poorly kept that it's hard to make much sense of them. They're practically useless.” Professor Higgins' words pull me from my daydreams.
“They keep a file on each Lesser?”
He looks surprised. “Absolutely. They keep a file on every citizen. It's the only way they know if one has escaped.”
Escaped? Where would an escapee go? Again I consider what else is “out there.”
He pats a stack of files he has pulled from his desk drawer. “I've gotten permission to show you the files so you can better determine what changes you think would benefit these people. These files are for a dozen or so Lessers who have been flagged in the system for one thing or another recently.”
I drink his words in like an animal dying of thirst. These files represent Lessers who have been dealt with recently. Mom might be in one of them.
A knock comes from the door frame, and Guard Nev pops his head inside. I haven't seen him since a few days ago at the capitol building, and he doesn't even look at me today. “Excuse me, Professor Higgins. May I have a word?”
“Absolutely, Guard.” Professor Higgins hurries into the hall, and my gaze flies to the stack of folders.
Mom's information might be in one of those files. My hands shoot toward the first one and I flip it open.
Derk Beetle
. I grab the next one.
Jazelle Mirror.
The third folder.
Britta Phelps.
I sigh and am reaching for the fourth when Professor Higgins returns.
“Guard Nev will be staying with us from now on,” he says. “I hope that's not a problem.”
I glance at the guard, frowning slightly. “Sure,” I say, but really I'm considering why Supreme Moon has sent someone to babysit me. Do other Greaters garner so much attention?
Most likely the other Greaters don't run away from their own personal tour guides to meet old friends.
“I see you've already started,” Professor Higgins says, nodding to the folder in my hand.
“Just browsing.” Should I let him know how interested I am in these files? How much I want to go to the Lesser cities? I have to find Mom. I need to know what happened to her, that she's OK.
A glance at Guard Nev reminds me that now is not the time.
Professor Higgins pulls a folder toward him and begins flipping through it. He talks and I try to listen, but I want to dig through the other files first. I glance at Guard Nev and he's watching me.
I frown and he looks away. Clawing my way through the files isn't going to happen, at least not today. I sit back and take my time, trying to listen to everything Professor Higgins has to teach me.
At the end of the day, two things are apparentâthe Lessers aren't given ample self-preservation skills, and their medical care is almost nonexistent. I try to ignore what that means for Mom.
“Can I take the other files home to look over them?” We didn't get past the first eight.
Professor Higgins shakes his head. “I'm afraid not. We have to return them to Records before we leave this evening. Individual files are high security.”
“Oh, absolutely,” I say quickly, turning around. He doesn't need to see my disappointment or the determination in my eyes that I will get my hands on those files.
We finish up for the day, and I tail Professor Higgins to the vac chamber. We take the short ride to the second floor, and he steps off and turns right.
That's all I need to rememberâwhich way to go when I return.
Guard Nev follows me outside and then off campus. When he continues to follow me down the sidewalk, I stop. “Are you supposed to stay with me all the time?” I don't demand it. It's an honest question.
He pauses, almost like he regrets his answer. “I have to monitor your coming and going.”
“Why?”
“Apparently your behavior at the music concert last night warranted investigation. Supreme Moon wasn't pleased with whatever he found.”
Keegan. They don't want me seeing Keegan?
Disappointment pulses through me, and I turn on my heels before he can see the tears filling my eyes. Will they keep Keegan from playing in Greater City? If so, I won't get to see him tonight. I won't get to see him again, ever.
If they were keeping Keegan away, though, would they make Guard Nev watch me?
I cling to the hope Guard Nev's presence brings. I can see Keegan as long as I'm monitored. That's all.
“I won't intrude,” he promises. His voice is sincere and kind. I believe him.
“Thank you.”
We reach my building and he stays in the lobby while I jog up the stairs, but my eyes scan the bottom for a back door. Guard Nev seems sincere, but I can't have him following me when I pay a visit to the Training Dome later tonight.
In my room, I take my bag into the bathroom and close the door. It is here I can be alone to think, and right now I definitely need to think in peace. Not only do the Greaters need to watch me with machines. Now they need someone to watch me in person, too.
Dear Lord, please help me.
I pull the Bible from the hidden zipper in my bag and sit on the edge of the tub. Rubbing my hand over the still-smooth leather, I read the words
Holy Bible
inscribed on the front.
So much dissention over one book. It doesn't seem possible, and yet here I am, hiding the book in the bottom of my bag. I've been thinking hard about it, and carrying a bag in and out of the bathroom every day might be too noticeable. I need a place to store it inside the bathroom. I glance around and my eyes immediately find the hair dryer mounted to the wall. It's such a strange device that I can't imagine using it.
I peek inside and find a small ledge at the top. My Bible fits perfectly.
I toss the bag in the corner of the bathroom before getting ready for supper.
The food service brought my food right on time, and I scarf down a bowl of potato soup with bread. The soup isn't nearly as good as Mom's. I miss Dad's potatoes, too. I miss all of his fresh vegetables. I even miss watering them on days he was too busy to go out.
The windows in my apartment look out over most of Greater City. Building after building rises toward the sky. There isn't a single green patch in sight.
Is there even a place in Greater City to grow a garden?
The clock reads seven-thirty. I hurry out of my apartment and to the stairs, and I nudge the potted tree away. My feet barely make a sound as I tiptoe down the stairs. There's no reason for Guard Nev to know I ever left. I can see Keegan and then hurry to the training dome, and I'll be back before he knows I was missing.
When I reach the bottom of the stairs, I look around for a door leading anywhere other than the lobby.
The small area is dim, but I spot a door frame behind the stairs. Perfect.
The knob is rusty, so I grab hold and give it a good shove. My feet slip as the door swings open, and I tumble outside and onto the concrete.
My hands burn and I'm sure I've drawn blood.
Someone reaches down to help me up. “Thank you,” I say, pulling into a standing position.
“No problem.”
The voice makes me freeze and I glance up into Guard Nev's frowning face.
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He watches me, waiting for me to speak.
Nothing comes out of my mouth as I gauge his reaction. Finally, “How did you know?”
His frown seems permanently glued in place. “I watched you take the stairs on my HELP comp.” He holds up his wrist, and in place of a watch he wears a comp on a wrist band. Then he points to a small, black disk mounted on the corner of the building. “See that? It's a cam disk. Cam disks are mounted all over the city, including this building. You wouldn't have gotten more than a few steps, regardless.”
“What are you going to do to me?” That is the only thing I care about right now.
His jaw moves as he grinds his teeth, and he huffs. “You have to trust me. I'm not here to get you into trouble. I'm here to keep you out of it. All you have to do is go about your business. You won't hear from me unless you have to.”
So I'm stuck with him. “I'm going to another concert.”
He nods and makes a sweeping motion with his hand. “After you.”
I roll my eyes and hurry around him. At this rate, I'm going to miss Keegan all together.
True to his word, Guard Nev doesn't offer a word of complaint or guidance, even when I get lost walking across the city. He doesn't sit with me at the concert, either, but stands casually with a few other loiterers at the end of my row.
Three musicians play in a group first, and then a girl my own age steps up to sing. After the third act, I begin to worry that Keegan isn't coming, but then he steps onto the stage. My heart picks up speed and I can't stop my grin.
Someone follows him out and I do a double take. It can't be.
It's definitely Lilith Winters on the stage, though, and I'm shocked into silence. She got exactly what she always wanted.