Defiance Rising (29 page)

“Good.
 
Don’t forget it.”

“Are you insane?
 
How could I possibly forget that?”

Bastien places a single finger across my lips to silence me.
  
I nearly groan with desire.
 
“You may be too blind to see it, but I’m not the only one here that’s in love with you.”

His statement lingers in the air as he rises and strides out through the door.
 
I sit, staring blankly at the door.
 
Did he just say he loved me?

That single slip has changed everything.
 
I know that I can never just be friends with Bastien again.
 
He has pushed me across a line that I never dreamed could exist with him and now there is no going back.
 
I want more.
 
Much more.

I climb back into bed and snuggle under my covers, knowing that sleep won’t be coming any time soon.
 
I roll onto my side and pretend to be asleep when my friends return.
 
I listen to their banter, all the while waiting for Bastien to return.
 

Long after my friend’s settle in for the night, I hear the rope latch shift.
 
The door opens and closes, sealing out the frigid winds.
 
Eamon mutters in his sleep and turns over.
 
Zahra’s snoring falters for a moment and then picks up it’s annoying rhythm.

I listen as Bastien prepares for bed, waiting for the creak of his cot as he sinks under the covers.
 
Minutes pass into what feels like an hour before I let myself roll over to look at him across the room.
 
My stomach rises into my throat when I realize he is staring back at me in the fading glow of the fire embers.
 

A shot of cold races in to steal away the warmth from my cotton nest.
 
I groan and try to pull the covers back over my face without opening my eyes.
 

“Not gonna happen.”

I groan and open my eyes to see Eamon grinning down at me.
  
“Go away,” I grumble and roll back over.
 
“It can’t be morning yet.”

“Actually, it’s lunch time.”

I shoot upright in bed and blink against the blinding sunlight pouring through the window.
 
I ruffle my hair, wincing at the tangles.
 
“I can’t believe you let me over sleep.
 
What about weapons training?
 
Kyan said it was mandatory.”

“It was…for everyone who’s not already a weapon.”
 
He winks.

“Oh gee, thanks!”

“I tried to wake you three times.
 
You nearly gave me a black eye a few minutes ago.
 
What’s with you?
 
You went to bed hours before everyone else.
 
Think you’re coming down with something?”

I shrug indifferently as I sniff the air.
 
“Breakfast?”

“Well if you really want wolf stew for breakfast, then be my guest.”

I wrinkle my nose with disgust.
 
“I hate wolf.”

“And you are the biggest whiner I know.
 
Now get dressed and eat up.
 
Kyan is waiting.”

I frown as I untangle from my covers.
 
“Why do you think he wants to meet us out in the woods?
 
Why can’t he say whatever he needs to say here?”

“Who knows?
 
He obviously thinks it’s for the best,” he calls as I dip behind a small wooden screen to wriggle out of my clothes.
 
I pull on a black top and cammo pants.
 
A part of me still feels uncomfortable wearing Caldonian garb but, considering my clothes were left in tatters after the cave in, I don’t have much of a choice.

I twist my hair into a messy bun and try not to think about Bastien when I shove two sticks through it to hold it in place.
 
“So where is everyone?”

“They are in the woods waiting for us.
 
Hence why you need to get out here and scarf down this wolf.”

I hear the clatter of wood against metal and realize Eamon is stirring the wolf slop that I’m supposed to eat.
 

“He’s insane if he thinks I’m touching that crap.”
 
I pinch my cheeks for color, trying desperately to look more awake than I really am.
 

“I heard that!” he calls.

“You were supposed to,” I say as he taps his fingers against the table.
 
I suck in a shaky breath, willing myself to be silent as I slide down the wall. Tears slip past my closed eyes, streaming over the curve of my cheeks.
 
As soon as I swipe them away, more spill free.
    

This feels too weird.
 
Eamon is taking this whole “destined to be together” thing a bit too well.
  
Breakfast with Eamon used to be fun, but this…this feels weird, almost like he’s going out of his way to care for me now.
 
The possession in these actions makes me bury my hand in my hands.

I’m not sure I’m strong enough to walk away from Bastien, not without giving us a chance to see if we would be worth fighting for.
 
And what about Eamon?
 
I have no idea how to accept his advances without crushing Bastien, or myself, in the process.
  

I don’t even know how to go about wanting to kiss the guy whom I’ve only ever seen as my best friend.
 
It’s just…weird.

Silently, I allow myself to grieve the relationship that I know I’ll never be allowed to share with Bastien, if I choose Eamon.
 
It’s not fair that my life should collide with Bastien’s, just to be thrown back out of orbit so quickly.
 

I pull myself to my feet and splash frigid water on my face.
 
I hold onto the small wash table, willing my fingers to stop trembling.
 
I look up into small mirror that leans against the wooden screen and notice the purplish tint under my eyes.
 
My skin is paler than normal, making me look worn and exhausted.
 
I plaster on a smile and study my profile, realizing that even if Eamon buys it, I can’t do anything to hide the dullness in my eyes.
 

I guess it could be worse.
 
At least I care for Eamon.
 
My silent pep talk doesn’t make my smile look any less forced.
 
I give up and let my cheeks sag.
 
Whoever designed my life must really get a kick out of watching me suffer.

I take a deep breath and smooth out the wrinkles in my shirt before stepping out from behind the blind.

“Wow, you sure clean up nice,” Eamon whistles.
 
I eye the spread he’s created at the table and stuff down my sigh.
 
I lift the spoon and watch as the thick soup plops back into the bowl.
 

“This looks really disgusting.”
 
I push the bowl aside and return Eamon’s disapproving glare head on.
 
“It’s not going to happen, Eamon so don’t argue with me.
 
I’ll just wait for dinner.”

“Fine,” he snaps, losing his cool.
 

“What is with you?”

“I’m just…I’m trying to make you happy, ok?”

I blink, stunned by the pain behind his words.
 
“Eamon, I…”

He holds up his hands.
 
“No, please don’t.
 
I know this isn’t what you wanted. It never was, was it?”

I swallow, wracking my brain for an answer.
 
My lengthy delay draws a heavy sigh from Eamon.
 
“I see the way you look at him.
 
You think I don’t, but I see more than you know.”

I want to tell him that he’s wrong, but I can’t bring myself to deny it.
 
Not to him.
 
He deserves the truth.
 
I owe him that.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
 
My voice sounds strangled as I clear my throat.
 
“I never meant for it to happen.”

“I know.” Eamon blows out a breath as he runs his hands through his curls.
 
The gesture is so familiar it hurts.
 
“So where do we go from here?”

“I have no clue,” I laugh weakly.
 
“I kinda feel like we’re at that awkward courting phase that I love to hate.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles.
 
“I was never too good with those either.”

“I remember.”

He looks up at me and smiles, the first real hint of my best friend I’ve seen in over a week.
 
“Hey, this is us we’re talking about.
 
We’re best friends.
 
It’s not like you have hide your snoring or weird jokes from me.”

I punch him on the arm.
 
“I don’t snore.”

“Says you.”

I smile and scoot closer to him on the bench.
 
“I know this is really weird, but we can get through this, right?”

He twines his fingers with mine and tosses me a lopsided grin.
 
“Yeah, we can do this.
 
We’ve known each other since we were toddlers so this should come naturally.”

“I need time, Eamon.
 
This is all happening so fast for me.”

He leans in and bumps my shoulder, dipping his head to smile at me.
 
“I’ll do my best not to push you.”

“Thanks,” I smile and shove him back.
 
“Just because we’re destined and all doesn’t mean you’re allowed to start groping me though.”

“Noted.”
 
A hint of red touches Eamon’s ears.
 
“You know you have to talk to Bastien, right?
 
He has a right to know what’s going on.”

All hint of playfulness vanishes.
 
“He’s not going to take it well.”

Eamon pulls me close, resting his head atop mine.
 
“You brought a mountain down on top of you because you thought he was dead, Illyria.
 
I know you’re going to be hurting too.”

“I’ll deal.”
 
I shrug.
 

He shakes his head and rises, leaving the full bowl of wolf stew forgotten in the center of the table.
 
“Always the hero.”

“Someone has to be,” I mutter and follow his lead out the door.

Twenty-Five

Ten minutes later, Eamon and I emerge from the dense woods and step into a small clearing not much larger than our camp.
 
“What is this place?” I ask.

“One of our training grounds,” Kyan answers.
 
I look up to find everyone else assembled.
 

Bastien watches me, narrowing his eyes at Eamon’s hand pressed intimately against the small of my back.
 
I step to the side, just enough to break contact, but Eamon shifts to take my hand in his.
 

“Glad you could finally make it,” Toren calls, rubbing his reddened fingers together for warmth.
 
“We expected you nearly an hour ago.”

“Sorry.
 
Someone decided to sleep half the day away.”
 
Eamon looks fondly toward me and I glance away, only to find Bastien’s unreadable face.
 
A coldness in his eyes warns me of his mood.
 
He is obviously less than thrilled about Eamon joking about waking me up.
 

Kyan clears his throat and commands each of our attention.
 
“I called you all out here to discuss our plans.
 
Each of you are doing well with your training.
 
I’m very pleased with how well you have stretched your abilities.
 
They will serve you well in the war to come.”

I drop my head as guilt needles at me.
 
I’m the only one not improving.
 
Aminah’s ability to speak to minds has now expanded to sending mental images to anyone within a five-mile radius.
 
Eamon can grasp an image of the future and manipulate it to see all angles at will.
 
Toren’s speed has increased, Zahra can easily lead an animal rebellion and Bastien…he has been training outside of camp.
 
I’m not even sure what his ability has grown into.

“Why are we discussing this now?
 
Surely Drakon won’t attack in the dead of winter.”

“Perhaps not, Eamon, but we need to be planning.
 
Weapons need to be stockpiled and more recruits need to be found.
 
We can’t hope to win this war if we don’t have allies within the City boundaries.
 
I will be heading back for duty soon, as well as many of the others, and we will begin to feel out our comrades.”

“And Illyria?” Bastien asks, purposely avoiding my gaze.

“She is struggling, I’ll admit that.
 
I’m still trying to discover her trigger, but I’m positive we will sort it out.
 
Until then, I need to know where all of you stand.”

“You mean whether or not we will let Illyria follow through with this harebrained suicide mission,” Eamon growls.
 
“Well, I’m not going to let it happen.”

His winds his arm around my waist and pulls me close to his side.
 

Toren and Aminah’s voices rise to agree with Eamon.
 
Zahra remains indifferent, but it’s Bastien’s silence that worries me the most.
 

Is there another way?
I silently ask Kyan

Not if you want to save your friends.

I suck in a deep breath and exhale slowly, preparing myself.
 
Then I have no choice.

You always have a choice.
 
Kyan turns to watch the heated argument surrounding him.
 
Your friends love you.
 

They won’t understand.
 

Kyan turns to face me, listening to every tormented thought I am unable to express. He hears my fears, the pain choosing Eamon will cause and my concern about Aloysius seizing control of my powers.
 
You will be ready to face anything Commander Drakon throws at you.
 
I promise you that.

“This is my decision,” I say loudly.
 
My friends instantly fall into a stunned silence.
 
“I know the risks, but Kyan is right.
 
We need to start planning.”

“You can’t be serious,” Eamon exclaims.
 
“There’s no way I’m gonna let you near that man.”

“That’s not your decision.”
 
I can feel my anger rising as his possessive nature kicks in.
 
This is what I feared most about accepting him as something more than just a friend.
 
I will belong to him in a way that will be suffocating to me.

Eamon looks around the group.
 
“Isn’t anyone else with me?
 
Toren?
 
Aminah?
 
You two are on my side, right?”

“Of course we are, Eamon,” Aminah soothes, casting an apologetic glance my way.

“What about you?” He stares pointedly at Bastien.

“I will support her desire,” he replies stiffly, unwilling to meet anyone’s gaze.

“Coward!” Eamon shouts.
 
“You’re not even going to fight for her, are you?”

Bastien’s neck pops as his head jerks upright.
 
The raw ferocity of his gaze pins Eamon in place.
 
“This is Illyria’s decision to make.
 
Not yours.
 
Not mine.”

“She’ll make the wrong decision and you know it,” Eamon spits back.

Bastien snarls and leaps from his place to slam Eamon back into a tree trunk.
 
“Have you even stopped to think about what this will do to Illyria?
 
The fear and pain she will endure?”
 
He shoves Eamon as he steps back.
 
“All you think about is yourself.”

Eamon splutters, his face shifting through several shades of red.

“Do you even know what true love is?” Bastien says, breathing heavily as he fights to control his anger.
 
“It’s letting the one you love go, even when you know it will destroy you.
 
Are you man enough to do that?”

Eamon’s face drains of color, unable to break eye contact.
 
Bastien doesn’t back down. “I didn’t think so.”

He walks straight past me, without even the slightest hint that he knows I am there.
 
I clasp my arms around my waist, curling in on myself at his rejection.
 
Is this the pain I will endure when I tell him the truth?

“That means nothing,” Eamon stammers.
 
“I just think there’s another way.”

Bastien turns and looks upon him with pity.
 
“If you think there is, then you’re a fool.”

Eamon bristles.
 
“So you’re just going to let her waltz into that psycho’s palace and marry him?”

“No.”
 
Bastien’s eyes go dark as midnight.
 
“I’ll kill him before he ever has a chance to touch her.”

My focus blurs, darkening around the edges as images flood my mind.
 
My skin tingles and the hairs on my neck rise.
 
The images come so fast I can barely grasp what I’m seeing.
 
I see a palace, beautiful and gleaming with colors, so radiant I nearly have to squint.
 
An older man approaches me, his head adorned with a crown.
 
I catch a glimpse of myself in a floor length mirror, leaned against a wall.
 
I hardly recognize myself.
 

My hair is piled atop my head, coiling down my bare back.
 
A smaller but identical crown nestles on my own head.
 
A delicate slip of silk drapes my slender frame, hardly covering anything at all.
 

Just over the King’s shoulder, I spy Bastien slipping in through the window.
 
The image blurs as the King turns as tosses a knife.
 
I try to look away, try to wash the image of Bastien’s blood spilling onto the floor from my mind, but I can’t.

Kyan?
 
My mental voice sounds terribly shaken.
 
What was that?

The future.

Will it happen just the way I saw?
I hold my breath, praying that he will assuage my fears.
 

Yes.
 

My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach.
 
No.
 
I won’t let that happen.

Focus on today, Illyria.
 
That future is still far off.
 
We can deal with it later.

Kyan steps forward to silence everyone.
 
“I’m here to train Illyria so that when the time comes she’ll be able to protect herself. The war has already begun among our people.
 
We need to start the Rising, a rebellion of Caldonian and human brothers fighting side by side.”

He looks to me with undeserved pride.
 
“She alone can restore peace to our people.
 
That is worth fighting for, worth dying for.”

Toren rubs his chin, turning to scrutinize me.
 
“If Illyria were captured during this raid, before she is ready, what would happen?
 
How powerful is she really?”

Kyan appears reluctant to answer.
 
Please
, I call to him.
 
I need to know.

He sighs.
 
“I’m not sure there is any good way of explaining this.
 
Ok, imagine your powers are like a pie.
 
Each of you have been given a small sliver from that pie to use.
 
But Illyria…” he pauses to close his eyes.
 
“She is the pie.”

Eamon frowns.
 
“I’m not following you.”

“My apologies.
 
Perhaps I’m not explaining it right.”
 
Kyan clears his throat, scrunching up his forehead as he thinks.

“No,” Bastien says.
 
“It makes sense.
 
You’re saying that Illyria is the source…of all power?”

“Yes.”
 
My mouth goes parched as Kyan smiles.
 
“She is an anomaly that cannot be explained.”

“So that means” Eamon pauses to glance at me.
 
“We are all part of Illyria?”

“Oh great,” Zahra rolls her eyes.
 

“What does this mean exactly?” Toren asks, silencing Zahra.

“It means that she is capable of doing anything if she believes she can.
 
Unlike us, she can adapt to any ability that she is presented with.
 
You have already seen how she has mirrored Eamon’s gift of sight, Toren’s speed and she appears to have an usually strong connection with the weather.
 
She’s adapting, learning.”

“Like a chameleon,” Aminah says.
 
“She blends in with her surroundings, adapting to survive.”

“Exactly,” Kyan grins, looking relieved.
 
“With enough time, Illyria will be able to mirror each of your abilities, but there is no end to what she can adapt to.”

“And if I can’t control it?
 
What am I capable of?” I ask, drilling my gaze into Kyan.
 

He stiffens, working hard to avoid my direct eye contact.
 
“Everything in the universe is bound to good and evil.
 
Action and reaction.
 
God vs. Satan.
 
You get the picture.
 
With Illyria, her own good and evil are battling.”

“And if the evil wins?” Eamon asks.

His frown deepens as he stares at the snow-covered ground.
 
I wait, demanding an answer.
 
When he finally meets my gaze, I can see the depth of his fear.
 
“You could tear apart this entire planet if you lost control.”

My thoughts shatter in a million directions.
 
Judging by Kyan’s pallid complexion, he isn’t joking, and that scares the crap out of me.