Dear Playboy Advisor: Questions From Men and Women to the Advice Column of Playboy Magazine (61 page)

On my 40th birthday my wife strapped me to our bed and blindfolded me. The doorbell rang. When she returned, I felt two sets of hands caressing me. The women kissed and pinched and sucked everywhere except my cock. They shaved my chest and pubic hair, then rubbed oil over me. When they reached my thighs I started climaxing—they had made me come without touching my erection. They took turns fucking me until I had come three more times. My wife says my 50th will be even better. Time goes by so slowly.—M.T., Las Vegas, Nevada

At 5
AM
I went to shower for work and found my wife with her face in her best friend’s crotch. I asked if I should leave, and my wife said, “Only if you’re a fool.” We had a few threesomes, but it turned out that the friend wanted to steal me away. She did for a while. I’ve since remarried. My new wife brought up the idea of a threesome, but I took a pass.—C.H., Seattle, Washington

We spent the weekend with another couple and on the drive home, the two women sat in the backseat and read aloud from a dirty magazine. The other couple broke up soon after, but the woman came over to share photos from the trip. She and my wife talked about how aroused they had been during the drive. The drinks flowed and it got late. We invited our friend to stay in the guest room. My wife and I went to our room to fuck. We could hear our friend moaning. That was too much for my wife. She asked if I would mind if she went to our friend’s room and masturbated with her. I just about shot my load. I heard her knock on the door and say, “Can I come in?” A few minutes later they yelled through the wall that they needed a man.—B.S., New Orleans, Louisiana

I was hanging out with two girls during my junior year of high school. We climbed into the backseat of my Camaro but there wasn’t enough room to do anything but make out.—C.K., Chicago, Illinois

Two women I met while drinking asked me if I had money for a room. At the hotel one woman cuffed me to the bed. They both sucked my cock. When I told them I was close, they stood up, took my wallet and clothes and left. The maid who found me in the morning didn’t speak English, so soon the room was filled with the manager, two cops and two EMTs. At least I can say I’ve had a threesome.—R.K., Houston, Texas

TIPS AND TRICKS

You never stop learning.

The big tease

Quick, I need a new sex trick. Can you help?—J.N., Aspen, Colorado

At times like these, we’re glad to have friends like Laura Corn, author of
101 Nights of Great Sex
. She shared two tricks with us. The first she calls Popping Her Clutch. “You’ll need a vibrator with a cord and a separate on-off switch, such as a remote-control egg, positioned on her clitoris,” she says. “Your partner needs to tell you when she’s about to come. As she’s having her first contraction, turn it off. She’ll look at you funny, so turn it back on. Then turn it off for a second or two. Then turn it on. You get the idea. The anticipation will drive her wild. This was by far the most popular trick among the couples who tried it for my book. Back for More also got a great response. With the woman on all fours, her partner alternates licking her labia from behind, pressing a vibrator or tongue against them and inserting his erection for a few thrusts. Because it’s at the opposite end from the clitoris, the back of the labia usually doesn’t get much attention, so the sensations will surprise her.” We need to call Laura more often.

Pearls on penis

My husband loves it when I wrap a strand of costume pearls around his erection and slowly unravel it. The only thing we can think of for him to do with me is to slowly pull the strand out of my vagina. It feels good, but I prefer something more subtle. Any suggestions?—C.H., Elkhart, Indiana

More subtle than pearls in your pussy? That’s a tough one. Your husband could place a section of the strand over his tongue and go down on you; you may enjoy the pearls against your clit and vulva. (Gather and grip the other end of the strand and you have a nice bridle.) He could roll the pearls under his palms as he massages you, including running them over your nipples and across the soles of your feet or lightly spanking your vulva and bottom. He could lay the pearls across your clit and vulva, hold them firmly in place and touch a vibrator to them, experimenting with speed and pressure. When it’s your turn again, Laura Corn suggests this: “Grasp one end of the strand in each hand. Slide it left, then right, over his erection, spinning the pearls high and low and fast and slow, so it feels like a hundred fingers.” Add your warm lips to the head of his cock and he’ll be a puppet on a string.

Finger-point control

Many people who write to the Advisor about sex seem to expect their partners to know what they like in bed without being told. I’ve discovered an effective form of nonverbal communication that might be helpful. The other night, as my wife was giving me head, she reached up and put her fingers in my mouth. I asked her to mimic what I was doing to her index finger, and she agreed. When I licked the side of her finger, she licked the side of my erection. When I opened my mouth and blew gently on the tip of her finger, she opened her mouth and blew gently on the tip of my erection. You get the idea. It was absorbing because my wife had to focus on what she was doing to stay in sync with me, and I was in control of my pleasure. She says she has learned a lot about what makes me feel good, and we didn’t have to exchange a word. The next time we’ll change places and see how good I am at following directions.—J.S., Torrance, California

That’s a great technique. When it’s your turn to go down on her, extend your hand and make a victory sign.

Ideas for a hand job

My boyfriend loves hand jobs, but I’ve run out of ideas on how to make them more exciting. Do you have any suggestions?—W.J., Amarillo, Texas

Are you using both hands? You may be able to double his pleasure. Lou Paget of the Sexuality Seminars has written a sex manual for women,
How to Be a Great Lover
, that diagrams 21 techniques for giving good hand. To start things off, she suggests having your boyfriend pour lube into your cupped palms. “By rubbing your hands together seductively, you’ll not only warm the lube, you’ll also let him know how good it feels to you and how good you are soon going to make him feel.” A favorite technique is called the Ode to Bryan: (1) Hands out, thumbs down. Wrap one hand around his penis so that your wrist is flexed and your thumb rests against his pubic hair. (2) Stroke up the shaft. When you reach the head, twist your hand slightly as if you were opening a jar. (3) Rotate your entire palm over the head as if you were sculpting it. (4) Come over the top and down the shaft firmly until your pinkie touches his pubic hair. Immediately move your other hand into position on top of your “finishing” hand and begin the next cycle. You’ll quickly establish a rhythm—the goal is continuous motion and sensation. How well do this and other techniques described in Paget’s book work? Just reading the instructions turned us on, and one wife offered this testimonial: “The only audible words in my husband’s reaction were, ‘Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph.’ And he’s Jewish.”

Shooting great nudes

I finally got my wife to let me take nude photos of her with our digital camera. Can you offer any tips for lighting and poses?—N.P., Fort Smith, Arkansas

You’ve come to the right place. First, discuss with your wife the poses you would like to try. Scan
Playboy’s
pictorials with her for ideas, and ask her to choose the lingerie or bikini she would like to start with. Put on some of her favorite music and ask her to strip. This will help make the shoot more fun, get her involved and keep her from looking stiff. Be sure to move in close enough that your subject fills the frame. Arny Freytag, who has shot more than 150 Centerfolds, says to “find the nicest environment you can and hide it with the girl.” Don’t obscure her face with an elaborate hairstyle or exaggerated makeup. Try baby lotion to give her skin more sheen. The most challenging part of the exercise will be the lighting. Freytag prefers shooting outside in sunlight either early in the morning or during the last moments of a cloudless day when the setting sun throws an orange light. “Keep the sun over your shoulder, directly on her,” he says. If you’re shooting inside, use two lamps, one over the camera and one under, evenly balanced, to kill shadows. Or light her from the side by posing her next to a window. Even if you don’t produce
Playboy
-caliber images, there’s still a great chance you’ll get laid.

How to give a lap dance

My boyfriend wants me to give him a lap dance, but I’ve never done anything like that before. How can I make it good for him?—S.K., Atlanta, Georgia

Sometimes this job can be a real grind. To research your question, we were forced to spend several afternoons ordering lap dances and observing the dancers’ techniques at Crazy Horse Too in Chicago. Our favorite, Kennedy, provided this advice free of charge: “Dim the lights, put on some Sade or Enigma and make him sit on his hands. There will be no touching, except what you initiate. As you dance and tease him, imagine you’re a cat. Purr if it helps you get in the mood. Start on the opposite side of the room and walk slowly toward him, so he can take you in. You can dress in lingerie or as a librarian or businesswoman or maid and strip as you dance; whatever turns him on. Just don’t give it up during the first song. Take your time; the longer he has to wait, the crazier he’ll get. Blow in his ear and whisper to him. Taunt him a little. ‘You like what you see?’ Show him your ass. Rub your hands up and down your body. Cup your breasts. Wet your nipples. Place your breasts close to his face. Lick your lips. Look yourself over as if it were the first time you’d ever seen yourself nude. I call it the
Playboy
gaze, because the Centerfolds often have it. When you’ve teased him plenty, sit on his lap facing away from him and lean your head back. That gives him a nice view of your tits. We can’t touch the men who visit our club, but you have more freedom. If you feel generous, let him put his hands on your hips as you grind. If he tries to move them anywhere else, whisper in his ear, ‘No touching.’ One last thing: Always remember to get your money.” Kennedy accepts only cash, but how your boyfriend pays for his dance is negotiable.

The love glove

When my girlfriend and I are in the heavy, panting, slippery phase of lovemaking, I will frequently spread my fingers like a fan and place my little finger in her anus, two fingers in her vagina and my index finger on her clitoris. If she’s in the doggie position, it’s reversed, with my index finger in her ass. I then stroke in and out. I’m always struck by the classic beauty of this move, which I call “the peacock tail” because my fingers are spread out. I’m wondering if there is some other name in the sexual archives that better describes it.—J.W., Boise, Idaho

We’ve heard it called the love glove, the trident or the double trigger. Typically the thumb is placed on the clit and the fingers advance from there, but you can arrange your digits in whatever manner your partner prefers. Make sure she is well lubricated and that your fingernails are trimmed.

How to give a foot massage

I’ve heard that women go nuts over foot massages. Can something like that get me laid? Any secret techniques I should know?—T.H., Nashville, Tennessee

A foot massage is always a step in the right direction, in part because lovers typically overlook and underestimate its sensual power. Use lotion instead of oil (too slippery) and warm it first in your hands. Alternate a firm stroke on the soles with a light touch on the top of the feet. To begin, massage the edges of her foot, working from heel to toe. Next, make small, circular movements on her sole with your thumb. Place both thumbs at her heel, then stroke toward her toes, making a T. You also can use your knuckles on the ball of her foot. Squeeze and roll each toe between your thumb and index finger, then give each a gentle tug. Press the flesh between. A good massage should last at least 10 minutes on each foot. Move on to the ankles, legs, etc., until she demands sex.