Authors: Terry Ravenscroft
My apologies for thinking that you make Walnut Whips. They are certainly good enough to be made by Cadbury's. Who makes them?
Yours faithfully
T Ravenscroft (Mr)
****
Cadbury
Our Ref:- O33623lB JAP
29th April
Mr T Ravenscroft
17 Lingland Road
New Mills
Cheshire
Dear Mr Ravenscroft
Thank you for your letter dated 24th April concerning Cadbury products on Coronation Street.
I was sorry to learn that you feel we have now blotted our copybook because Emily looked longingly at a Mars Bar in one episode last week. Cadbury do not produce Mars Bars these are made by Mars. But now that a Mars Bar has been featured, I do hope you will feel it is only fair if one of our products does appear in the future!
In answer to your question concerning Walnut Whips these are made by Nestle. I note you think they are good enough to be made by Cadbury's, but I don't think their chocolate is as nice as ours - but I would say that wouldn't I!
Thank you for writing to us.
Yours Sincerely
Carol Dunseith
Consumer Services Manager
****
17 Lingland Road
New Mills
CHESHIRE
2nd May
Your ref 0336231B JAP
Carol Dunseith
Cadbury Ltd
PO Box 12
Bournville
Thank you for your letter of 29th April.
You are right, it would only be fair if one of your products were to appear in a future episode of Coronation Street. I don't know whether or not you have any influence with the scriptwriters, but a scene with Norris balancing Smarties on Rita’s nipples then flicking them off into a Cadburys Chocolate Easter Egg held by Tyrone Dobbs might go down well. What do you
think?
Yours faithfully
T Ravenscroft (Mr)
NO REPLY!
****
17 Lingland Road
New Mills
CHESHIRE
6
th
March
Nestle
Customer Services
PO Box 207
York
Dear Nescafe
Whilst I was on holiday in America just recently I came across Power Coffee, a beverage which contains fifty per cent extra caffeine. Naturally I tried it as I’m a man who can’t get enough caffeine and I regularly drinking ten or more cups of coffee a day. I’ve heard it claimed by do-gooders that consuming a lot of caffeine isn’t good for you but it’s never done me any harm. I can report that Power Coffee was quite wonderful; a cup of it not so much lifted me as picked me up, gave me a good shaking and inspired me to get out there and kick ass, as the Americans say.
Unfortunately I have a weak bladder and need the toilet a lot, which isn’t always convenient as I am long distance lorry driver - or perhaps I should say I am a short distance lorry driver who eventually drives a long distance seeing as I have to keep stopping to go to the toilet, ha ha - but drinking Power Coffee when I was in America meant that I could drink only half as many cups of coffee for just as much caffeine, and consequently I didn’t have to go to the toilet as much. In fact I only had to go once the whole five hours we spent in Disney World whereas the previous time I went there I had to go four times, and one of those times was behind the Enchanted Castle as I couldn’t find a toilet, which greatly embarrassed me.
Is it possible that you at Nescafe sell a version of Power Coffee? I am not hopeful as I’ve never seen it on the shelves at Tescos and they sell just about everything, but there’s no harm in asking, is there?
Yours sincerely
T Ravenscroft (Mr)
****
Nestle
Mr T Ravenscroft
17 Lingland Road
New Mills
CHESHIRE
001874979 A4 March
Dear Mr Ravenscroft
Thank you for your recent letter.
Unfortunately Power Coffee is not available for sale in the United Kingdom. Whilst sales do well in America, consumer research suggests that demand in the UK would not be sufficient to justify the long production runs necessary to ensure the good value customers require.
Our experience with this and other brands leads us to conclude that consumer tastes can vary considerably between different countries. Nescafe Fine Blend contains 4.6g of caffeine. Per 100g jar, 1 teaspoon is roughly 3g.
We hope this reply is not too disappointing. However, our marketing policy is constantly under review and your comments have been noted.
As I am sure you will appreciate, we receive many requests for information and we are not always able to go into great detail on the specific points raised. However, we enclose a booklet all about coffee which we hope you will find helpful.
Thank you once again for taking the trouble to contact us and for the interest you have shown in our Company.
Yours sincerely
Sue Tomlinson
Customer Service Executive
Consumer Services
****
17 Lingland Road
New Mills
CHESHIRE
17
th
March
Sue Tomlinson
Customer Service Executive
Nestle
PO Box 207
York
Dear Sue Tomlinson
Thank you for your letter. Shame that you don’t do Power Coffee over here but I’ll survive I suppose, it was just that the less I have to go to the toilet for a pee the better I like it, as sometimes toilets aren’t readily available.
However I’ve had an idea. Do you think if I were to make a batch of your coffee, say a gallon, and boil it down to half a gallon that it would double the caffeine content? Have a word with your boffins and let me know, would you?
Thank you also for the four wonderful booklets all about coffee that you sent, especially the one entitled The Power of Love, all about the Gold Blend couple Sharon and Tony. What a love story! I was an avid follower at the time, although I must say that my wife thought it was a bit soppy, but then that’s about all you can expect from an ex-lady wrestler.
I think you were wise not to mention that since drinking all that coffee Sharon died rather prematurely in Holby City. If you had done some people might have thought it had something to do with your coffee, which I’m sure it wasn’t, but you can’t stop people from talking, can you.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
T Ravenscroft (Mr)
****
Nestle
Mr T Ravenscroft
17 Lingland Road
New Mills
CHESHIRE
001874978 21March
Dear Mr Ravenscroft
Thank you for your recent letter concerning coffee.
With reference to your question, caffeine melts at 238 degrees centigrade. It doesn’t boil, but sublimes at 178 degs. So if you wanted to concentrate some solubilised coffee to half its volume, the caffeine concentration would approximately double as the temperature required to boil coffee mixture is only just over 100 degs.
Thank you once again for taking the trouble to contact us and for the interest you have shown in our Company.
Yours sincerely
Melanie Durkin
Customer Relations Officer
Consumer Services
****
17 Lingland Road
New Mills
CHESHIRE
29
th
March
Melanie Durkin
Customer Relations Officer
Nestle
PO Box 207
York
Dear Mel
Thanks for the very useful information. I wasted no time in making a batch of Power Coffee. At first I was going to boil two gallons of coffee down to one gallon to give me a beverage with 100% added caffeine, but, never a man to go about things half-heartedly, I decided to distil the two gallons down to a bit under two pints, giving me a concoction which had a caffeine content of an extra 1000%.
What a brew! To try it out I mixed a generous helping into our dog Rantzen’s Pedigree Chum – I have nothing against experimenting on animals - and it didn’t stop barking for two days. Then I tried it myself and realised what all the fuss was about.
I realise of course that caffeine stimulates the central nervous system, which is why I can’t get enough of it, as I like to be stimulated, but I can honestly say that my central nervous system was stimulated beyond my wildest dreams. I drank just one mug full of it on Monday morning and I haven’t been to bed since and today is Thursday. During that time I have worked three shifts, driving over eight hundred miles (with no pit stops to go to the toilet, thanks to you), decorated our living room, dug the foundations for an extension, tarred the garage roof, twice run ten miles in training for the next London Marathon, made love four times and dug a dog’s grave.
This stuff should be on prescription and I urge you to consider adding it to your range. It would be criminal not to.
Finally, I am looking for sponsors for when I take part in the London Marathon. All monies donated will go to good causes. Possibly towards a stone for Sharon of the Gold Blend ads if she hasn’t already got one. Can I put you down for say, a hundred pounds?
Yours sincerely
T Ravenscroft (Mr)
****
Nestle
Mr T Ravenscroft
17 Lingland Road
New Mills
CHESHIRE
001874797C 12 April
Dear Mr Ravenscroft
Thank you for your recent enquiry.
As I am sure you will appreciate, we receive many requests every year for financial or product donations. We were able to support over 20% of the fifteen thousand requests last year and the total donated was £1,000,000. Although we would like to help everyone it is obviously not possible to do so.
We have considered your request for sponsorship very carefully but we are advised by our colleagues in Marketing that we are currently not able to support this idea.
The aim of the Nestle Trust is to invest in partnerships and programmes which support the Nutrition, Health and Wellness of young people and which really make a positive difference to their lives. We tend to focus on local good causes which are well managed and relevant to the company and where support will create goodwill with the community generally.
The key area for support is young people (specifically teenagers 11-18 year olds) in the following areas: Out of school childcare generally and specifically 4Children and Make Space, Nutrition, Health and Wellness, Sport, Education (but not areas which are Local Education Authority responsibility), Community Development.
Because of the number of requests we receive, we focus our support on charities or good causes which are local to our factories and depots, and, where appropriate, make a donation direct.
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to contact us and for giving us the opportunity to explain our position. I wish you every success in your fund-raising efforts.
Yours sincerely
Melanie Durkin
Consumer Relations Officer
Consumer Services.
****
17 Lingland Road
New Mills
CHESHIRE
24
th
April
Melanie Durkin
Customer Relations Officer
Nestle
York
Dear Mel
Last Sunday, fuelled by Nescafe 1000% extra caffeine as recommended by your good self, I ran in the London Marathon. Sadly you didn’t feel able to sponsor me for this event, but I don’t hold this against you, in fact quite the opposite, otherwise I wouldn’t have had the words ‘Nescafe Made This Possible’ emblazoned on my running singlet. Did you perhaps get a glimpse of me? I was running just behind Rod Hull and Emu for a couple of miles (I wasn’t chancing running in front of him after what he did to Michael Parkinson!). I am told by friends that I was briefly on television three times, which is excellent publicity for Nescafe I am sure.