Whatever we would need to survive for the time being, I could easily stash inside that bag. I quickly went about filling it with her items, running around her room in the half dark working from memory where everything was.
More gun fire erupted and I could hear faint sirens cutting through the night. I thought about calling for help, how I hadn’t thought of it till then was anyone’s guess. Back to the night stand, I grabbed my phone and dialed 911. Immediately the phone was busy, so I dropped it onto the bed and continued grabbing items for Kember. It probably wouldn’t make a difference anyway, I thought. With all of the gun fire that was going off, the police were more than busy at the moment and the likelihood of them showing up in a timely manner was slim to none… and slim left town hours ago.
“Stay calm… just stay calm and get the things you will need. You can’t change what is happening, whatever that is, but you can dictate how things will go for at least a small amount of time. Think of your daughter.” My words came without thought and were the only reassurance to the fear that sliced me to the bone. I couldn’t shake it, couldn’t get clear of it and every time I tried it slammed me back to the ground. It was vicious and brutal, showing absolutely no mercy whatsoever.
I grabbed the last of the diapers, a single pack of wet wipes and just threw some random clothes into the black and pink bag. Kember was twenty months old and had been without her binky for the last two months, yet I pondered for a moment if I should try and locate it or just leave it hidden amongst the toys that littered her floor. My mind kicked two moves ahead and I wondered how I’d get out the front door with the diaper bag over one shoulder, my Daughter in the other arm and a .9mm pistol in my right hand without dropping anything, being spotted and or attacked before I could make it across the porch and out to my vehicle?
In that event, how would I deal with the threat without endangering my Daughter’s life? Too many questions began to form and if they didn’t stop altogether, any shred of courage would most certainly kill any need to try. I considered the idea of just barricading the front door and waiting things out. There was enough food to last for some time, heat against the cold night air and more ammunition in the closet, as well as a shotgun. However, as good as that sounded, the ever approaching fear told me that I would be trapped beyond all doubt and if one of those things got in here and I wasn’t close enough to react or was caught off guard, we’d both be dead. And that was not a risk I was willing to take, let alone think any more about. Leaving was the only choice she and I had left.
“Staying here is a death sentence.”
I opened the closet door and saw the four boxes of .9mm shells on the top shelf, grabbed and stuffed them into the bag, making sure to keep the extra magazine where I could get to them quickly. The Beretta had a 15 round mag, but I had no idea what waited on the other side of the front door. If my step daughter could become violent and attack without a reason, it would be safe to say that anyone else was a possible threat as well. Whatever was going on out there, it was probably not going to go away anytime soon, nor would it be confined to only my Step Daughter, but many others as well.
Three gunshots erupted and seemed to be just outside of the bedroom window. I worried about the front door being wide open, as anyone or anything could wonder in and create an even larger obstacle for me to overcome when we were ready to leave.
“I have to get us out of here right now, while I still can.”
I returned to my Daughter’s crib and saw her still peacefully asleep and I shook my head with a fragmented smile. How could she sleep through everything that had happened so far?
Lightning flashed through the bedroom windows and was followed swiftly by powerful thunder that sounded as though it was trying to rip the earth wide open. The windows rattled under the immense force and I swear I could feel the ground tremble under foot. The sound of falling rain was still not present, which meant I still had the time to escape and be able to see instead of blindly bumping into someone or something just outside the house. With that said I pushed forward and made up my mind to move.
I moved the diaper bag to the bedroom door and set it there, glanced around one last time to ensure I wasn’t forgetting anything in my haste to leave, saw nothing and moved back to the crib.
Someone entered the house. I could hear their footsteps on the hardwood floor as there were a few places near the door and couch that would creak as you walked upon them. I spun with the Beretta and waited for the assault to take place on the door. The .9mm was leveled at the door, where I thought the chest of the unseen person would be and forced my mind to give me control in the event that whoever it was tried to get in, I’d be in full control and could shoot.
Come on… try to get through that door at me!
My mind raced as my finger slid from the narrow trigger guard onto the cold, grooved trigger. I waited silently.
“There’s no one here,” a voice said.
“But there has to be,” another argued.
“There’s not, we need to go and we have to do it now!”
The sound of the two Strangers nearing the front door filled my ears and it felt good to have one less thing to deal with. I didn’t want to shoot anyone, although putting my Daughter in danger was the quickest way to get me to pull the trigger without hesitation or remorse. I’d kill for my kids… there was no thought about that.
“But I don’t want to go back out there,” The female voice stated.
“We have no choice, there’s no one here to help us.”
“Go away… just go away and leave us alone,” I whispered under my breath. I had no way of knowing if they really needed help or were simply making it sound that way so I would come out and they could rob me… or worse. Kill me. I might not be the smartest person alive, but I sure as hell hadn’t fallen off the stupid wagon yesterday.
“Why will no one help us?” The female asked. The sorrow in her voice was evident.
“I don’t know, Sherry. Maybe they’re all scared like we are… maybe they don’t care about anyone but themselves… I just don’t know.” He stated. “But we have to go either way.”
“I don’t want to die,” She said and began to cry.
I felt for them, I really did. However, I have a daughter of my own to protect and I couldn’t see risking her life to save complete strangers. I knew it was wrong – felt it down deep in my soul, yet I had to think of her and no one else. I remained quiet with the pistol pointed at the door. If they came into the bedroom, I’d be forced to get nasty with them.
“Come on, let’s go.”
I listened intently until I was sure they had left, pulled the diaper bag onto my right shoulder, leaned and picked up my Daughter who barely woke before placing her head into my shoulder and falling back to sleep. She wrapped her little arms around my neck and my heart told me that nothing would happen to her. I would kill the entire population if I had too, but no harm would befall her as long as air filled my lungs.
I closed the gap to the bedroom door, unlocked it and slowly pulled it open, fully expecting there to be several obstacles I’d have to overcome before reaching my vehicle untouched. That’s when it blindsided me like a freight train. I had no idea and could not remember what I had done with my car keys earlier that night as I got ready for bed.
And roaming around the living room and kitchen were not the best of ideas with the front door still wide open. Even closing it could catch the eye of someone just out of sight and the fight would be on. I wanted to do things my way and on my terms. If I was going to venture out into the night with my Daughter, then it would be when I was ready… not a second before that.
“Dammit!” The whole process of escape hinged on me grabbing my keys as we passed the small table just inside the front door. Now that plan was dead in the water, as the keys could be anywhere. If Kember had gotten a hold of them, as she had several times I the past, it would take a shit load of luck to find them this time, and luck was not something I had on my side. The world outside appeared to be falling apart and the longer it took to find them, the worse the conditions could be when I had to venture out in them.
I knew where my wife put her keys every night and remembered seeing them as I came in from smoking and shut the front door before going to bed. Her vehicle was much larger than mine, which meant it would drink a lot of gas, not to mention the… my words died away as I realized what I hadn’t up until that second.
It was a full sized SUV with three rows of seating, large amounts of trunk space, more horsepower and far superior to my little car. It was perfect. A slight smile cascaded across my face.
Crossing the living room, I held the Beretta in front of me, pointing at the open front door and still hoping that I wouldn’t have to use it. Only dim light from the kitchen cast into the living room and it was not bright enough to give my position away as I moved. So therefore, if anyone were to pass by they would certainly not see me by accident. No, they would have to be actively seeking me. That thought gave me a morsel of courage in which to move by.
The gun was still in front of me like a shield and given the facts and things that had already taken place, I was now positive that at one point or another in the near future, I’d have to use it in self-defense, which was not a comforting thought by any means.
On the front porch the bite of the cold night caused me to shiver as if something was running up my spine, trying to assault me from the limited shadows. I shook it off, ensured the darkened porch was vacant of anyone hiding and waiting for me to pass by before jumping out. Scanned the darkness beyond and locked my eyes on the two vehicles in the covered garage. The wail of the sirens was much louder now, as were the distant sound of gun fire and screams. What the hell was going on? Was the world crumbling in around all of us?
I took a few steps backwards and looked into the dimly lit kitchen, watching my flanks and not making myself an easy target for anyone. I could see my wife still motionless on the floor. There was a need to go to her, aid her in some way, although deep down I knew she was already gone and I couldn’t get side tracked or it could cost me. She was dead and I felt the sorrow blossom up around me as tears formed in my eyes. There was nothing I could do to save her. Nothing I could have done. The moment she entered the kitchen, her life was measured in mere minutes. I was broken and hollow, a former image of myself. An image that had been shattered and would never again be. The only thing that kept me going was Kember. We were all each other had anymore.
Stay strong… I know it hurts, but you have to stay strong and focus on getting the hell out of this place for your daughter. She’s all that matters now!
With no further thought I made a mad dash for the Pathfinder, reached it, unlocked the door and crawled in with Kember in my arms. I pulled the door shut and put her in her car seat, did my best to buckle her in as quickly as I could and turned to start the vehicle.
“Shit. Where are the keys?” I looked in the floorboard, thinking I might have dropped them as I got in. Looked in the seat next to me, under both legs with no such luck and pounded my fist into the roof. It made a weird hollow sound. I looked toward the porch and thought about the second set of keys that where in the bedroom on the wife’s dresser. At that point there was no other alternative if we wanted to escape. But losing the keys really pissed me off. I knew I had had them in my hand when we left the house, so what the hell happened to them from the door to here?
“Dammit!” I shouted and looked back to see if my hostile words had woken her. They hadn’t she was still fast asleep. I chewed over the idea of going back inside and retrieving the second set of keys, hopefully I wouldn’t lose those this time. Yet that meant chancing it once more and tempting fate. If there was anything I have learned in my short life-time, is that you don’t tempt fate… EVER!
“You either go and get them or sit here all damn night long.”
I prepared myself for the stupid choice I had somehow already made, even before I noticed the keys were missing. I lept out of the SUV and dashed back up onto the porch, into the house and was almost to the bedroom when I realized that I’d left Kember all alone. I felt stupid. I felt like a failed parent, yet I had already made it that far, which meant I had to finish or we would go nowhere. Back in the bedroom I dared to turn the bedroom light on, thinking maybe I could locate them by touch in the dark. That idea lasted a whole three seconds. I knocked something over and lots of little unseen objects hit the carpeted floor. “Dammit!” I shook my head and flipped the switch. Bright light flooded the room and I shielded my eyes from the glare, unable to see for a few seconds. It was then that I wished I had just stayed in the SUV. The keys had to be out on the ground somewhere and I could find them when the sun came up. That way I’d be able to see any threats coming at me in advance. The way I was doing it now left no room for error and that was my specialty. Master screw up!
I grabbed the keys from the dresser, exactly where they weren’t supposed to be and headed back to the Pathfinder, the .9mm eager to defend me if something were to pop up and try and stop my advance. But nothing did, and I made it out onto the porch, and then five feet from the SUV.
In my haste, once again, I hadn’t scanned the darkness before rushing to the SUV or I would have seen the figure just up the road see me come out, change direction and run toward me at full speed. The rumbling thunder masked its pounding footsteps that surged toward me driven by rage and something else I wouldn’t lean about until later.