Authors: Eliza Lentzski
"There kind of was a demon massacre going on at the Mall in case you missed that," Buffy quipped.
Faith snorted. "You know what I mean," she protested. "You could have just postponed it. Why did you
cancel
the wedding?"
Buffy leaned back onto her hospital pillows and sighed. She continued to hold onto Faith's hand, however. "This is what I get for gaining consciousness so quickly," she complained. "All the tough questions."
"I'm serious, B."
"So am I!" Buffy responded with a violent jerk.
The blonde started to cough and Faith's body went rigid. She was going to kill her if she kept provoking her like this. Buffy was too fragile in her current state for all the tough conversations she wanted to have.
The Boston girl jumped up and headed for the door when the coughing continued to spasm through Buffy's vulnerable figure. "I'll get a doctor," she said hurriedly.
Buffy held up a hand and paused the Boston woman's retreat.
"I-I'm okay," Buffy gasped, catching her breath. "Just...had a tickle in my throat."
"Do you want me to go?" the raven-haired slayer asked, still hovering near the door.
"No. Don't leave just yet," the Californian implored. "Will you...will you lay with me?"
The dark-haired girl wordlessly nodded and walked away from the door. Faith climbed back onto the bed, careful not to pinch or squish any of the various wires and tubes that connected to the smaller woman. She settled down next to Buffy, the two women sharing the overstuffed pillows at the head of the bed. They continued to lay next to each other in silence, hands enjoyed, staring at the ceiling, their minds filling with multiple unspoken conversations.
"I gave up on being Normal," Buffy said suddenly. "You were right, Faith. I'm a Slayer, and I can never have a normal life. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
Faith sat up in bed and looked at the girl. "Not really."
"Well I'm sorry to burst your bubble." Buffy scowled.
"Let's not do this anymore, okay?"
"What?" Buffy asked, afraid of the other girl's answer. Was Faith running away, again?
"Fight."
Buffy breathed out deeply. "Oh. Okay."
"I'm sorry," Faith apologized.
The blonde raised an eyebrow. "For what?"
"For getting you hurt."
Buffy shook her head. "Faith, it's not your fault I got stabbed. It's not like you were the one who shoved a knife into my gut."
Faith winced at the words. It was undeniable to what earlier event Buffy was referring.
"But it is partly my fault," the brunette insisted. "If I had handled your baby news better, we wouldn't be here. I shouldn't have run out like that. I mean, I think it's cool that you're, uh, gonna have a baby," she said lamely.
Faith frowned. The words had sounded far more convincing and intelligent when she'd rehearsed them in her head.
"I appreciate that," the blonde said. "But I shouldn't have surprised you like that. I can't be mad at you for the way you reacted. And I don't want you to be mad at Preston, either. He's really a decent guy," she countered. "When he proposed...he was just trying to do the ‘right' thing."
"I still can't believe you were going to marry him just for the chance to feel normal though, B," Faith sighed, shaking her head in disbelief.
Buffy frowned. "I know you can't understand; you love being a Slayer. For me though...trying to feel normal...it's important to me."
"Listen, B," Faith started. "You and I might not be Normal, but at least we can be happy together. Well, at least on my part I know I'm happier with you than when I'm not," the brunette clarified, "even if I do wanna strangle you half the time. That's gotta be worth something, right?"
Buffy gave the other girl a lopsided smile. "I suppose so."
"So what are you gonna do now?"
"God. I don't know." The blonde tugged at her hair in frustration. "Everything is just happening so fast," she complained. "I need some time."
Buffy sucked in a sharp breath and looked warily at the woman lying beside her. "Don't take this the wrong way, but maybe I just need to be on my own for a little bit. Figure out this baby business. Get my head on right. I need to do what's best now for both me and my baby." She laid her free hand on the hospital sheet where it blanketed her abdomen.
Faith looked away from the telling swell of Buffy's stomach and stared straight ahead. She nodded gravely. "I understand," she choked out.
Buffy worried her bottom lip and squeezed the dark-haired woman's hand in her own. "I-I do love you, Faith," she said quietly.
The Boston girl closed her eyes. "But you're not sure if it's enough."
It wasn't a question or an accusation. Just a fact.
After Buffy had asked for some time to get her life in order before she made any more decisions about her future, Faith went back to Boston. Buffy's recovery had been slow, and the doctors had insisted she stay in the hospital. If it weren't for the baby growing inside her stomach, the blonde would have ignored their urging and left as soon as she regained consciousness. But with the responsibility of another person's life hanging in the balance, she heeded her physicians' warnings.
Faith had visited Buffy a few times in the hospital, but the blonde pointed out that she literally needed space from the Boston girl to make up her mind. With Faith constantly around, it was hard for the Chosen One to see if she truly was better off on her own. So Faith left. She didn't want to, but she did because it was the right thing to do.
The Boston woman opened the lid to her laptop, and with a small whirling noise, the machine turned on. Her instant message program immediately signed on, and she waited as her online friends list loaded. Her heart dropped in her stomach, however, when she didn't see Buffy's screen name online.
Ever since she'd left Cleveland a few days ago, she and the California slayer had religiously chatted online. Nothing serious - just some innocent flirting - but it was reassuring to the brunette woman nonetheless that Buffy would spend her evenings with her. Faith had pointed out that perhaps they should include an Internet blackout if Buffy really wanted some time to herself, but the blonde slayer had dismissed the idea.
Faith logged onto her email, but frowned when she found no message from the elder woman explaining her absence. A hundred scenarios flashed through the brunette slayer's mind: Buffy had dropped her laptop and it was broken. There was a complication with the baby, and she was in too much pain to come online. Preston had shown up and the two were reconciling over hospital Jello and mashed potatoes.
Just as she was about to go offline, resigned that Buffy had found something better to do that Friday night, her laptop speakers announced that someone had just come online - it was Buffy.
Faith's fingers flew across the laptop keyboard.
GoSox03:
You're late.
Buf_E_99:
Hello to you, too.
GoSox03:
Sorry, was just worried you'd bailed.
Buf_E_99:
And miss our date night? Never.
GoSox03:
What kept you?
Faith knew she sounded like a suspicious spouse, but she knew Buffy wouldn't mind. On the contrary, the Boston girl knew for a fact that the elder slayer found her sometimes-jealousy endearing.
Buf_E_99:
The doctor check-up took longer than usual. Couldn't come online until he'd left.
GoSox03:
How's the little gremlin doing? Everything still okay?
Buffy wanted to be surprised about the baby's sex, so they'd gotten used to referring to the unborn fetus in gender-neutral terms. Faith, however, was a fan of using monster terminology to refer to Buffy's baby.
Buf_E_99:
It's like the size of a mango now - it's amazing how fast it's growing. I hope there wasn't like demon fertilizer on that knife or something.
GoSox03:
Too bad you don't have your webcam set up. I'd love to see you.
Buf_E_99
:
I'm not feeling too sexy right now.
GoSox03:
You'd look good in a snowsuit, B.
Buf_E_99:
Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'm feeling more like Santa Claus with this belly though.
Faith couldn't help but laugh. She had wondered how Buffy would respond to her growing abdomen. Forget that there was another being maturing inside of her, the blonde had always been self-conscious about her figure.
GoSox03:
Whatever, B. You're barely showing. In a couple of months you'll probably be like one of those pregnant ladies who just look like they have a basketball hiding under their t-shirt.
Buf_E_99:
God, thanks for the visual. Now I have something to look forward to.
Faith typed a few words, then erased her message, and then typed it again.
GoSox03:
I know it's just been a couple of days since I left...but...I miss you.
The brunette held her breath, waiting for Buffy's response. She didn't want to come across too strongly, knowing that she was putting herself out there to potentially get hurt again, but in conversations over the past few days, the two had promised to be honest with each other. And the Boston slayer honestly missed her sister-Slayer.
But before she could get a reaction from Buffy, there was a sharp knock at her apartment door.
GoSox03:
Hold up, B. Someone's at the front door.
Buf_E_99:
Pizza tonight again, Faith? You should really eat healthier. Pretty soon people won't be able to tell which one of us is the pregnant slayer.
GoSox03:
Very funny. No, I didn't order anything.
Buf_E_99:
Then who is it?
The knocking continued, and Faith hazarded a glance at the front door. Whoever it was, it had better be important to be interrupting her Buffy-time.
GoSox03:
I don't know, woman. Don't nag. brb
Faith chuckled as she pushed herself away from the kitchen table and walked to the front door of her apartment. Falling into an easy banter online with the elder slayer had been effortless since she'd returned to Boston. The brunette girl had originally worried that with Buffy's recent quest to sort out her life, she might emotionally distance herself. Instead, Faith felt a seedling of hope that once Buffy got over herself, the two might eventually get together.
Not bothering to look through the peephole, Faith unlocked the deadbolt and swung the door wide open. The dark-haired girl nearly gasped when she saw who was waiting just outside of her apartment door.
Buffy.
Faith stood dumbstruck. "You're here," she said in amazement.
The blonde smiled sheepishly and waved a black, glossy phone in front of her. "Dawn thought I should get acquainted with the 21st century, so she got this Smart phone for me. I can check my email, and do IM chat, and download things. Well, the phone can do it," she babbled nervously in the hallway, "but I'm still not sure how to do any of that. I just had Dawn show me enough so I could get here without you knowing."
Faith shook her head as if clearing cobwebs from her mind. "You're here," she repeated. "In Boston."
"Yes, I'm here." Buffy stuck out her bottom lip. "Shouldn't someone be kissing someone right now?"
"Shouldn't you be back in Cleveland healing up?" the Boston girl countered, blinking a few times.
Faith couldn't believe her eyes. They'd just been talking online a few seconds ago; she had mentally pictured the other woman reclining in her hospital bed with a laptop in front of her. Never had she pictured Buffy chatting on her cell phone and making her way to her front door.
"Willow's been helping me get stronger," Buffy explained, still hovering in the hallway. "A few years ago a demon nearly skinned her alive; I gave her some of my energy to help her regain her strength. So now she returned the favor and helped me get back on my feet."
Buffy anxiously played with her phone. She didn't know what to think of Faith's non-reaction and it made her nervous - and when she was nervous, she started to babble. "I think she sucked some energy out of Kennedy to give to me," she continued, "but I wasn't gonna say no. I just wanted to get out of that hospital."
"I'm sure there's a perverted three-sum joke in there somewhere," Faith noted, licking her dry lips, "but I'm still too rattled by you being here to figure it out."
"Can you at least pull it together long enough to invite me in?" Buffy asked, twisting her lips into a lop-sided smile.
The brunette girl nodded dumbly and took a few steps backwards, allowing the elder slayer to walk in. Faith closed the door as Buffy strode into the small entranceway.
The California-native made small-talk about the size and décor of Faith's apartment as she shrugged out of her jean jacket. She hadn't been able to button the fastens due to her growing abdomen. Under her coat, the blonde wore yoga pants and a fitted t-shirt.
Faith instinctively took Buffy's coat and hung it up in the small closet in the foyer. Only when she finished hanging up the jacket did she get a good look at the golden-haired girl.
"Damn, girl!" the Boston girl exclaimed, getting an eyeful of Buffy's swollen stomach. "Were you always that big?"
Buffy looked confused for a moment, but then dropped her eyes to look down at her abdomen. She placed her hands on the small swell as if cradling a bowling ball. "I don't know what happened," she admitted. "It just kinda...blew up." The blonde looked up again, her hazel-green eyes full of worry. "Do I look horrible?"