Darkness Seduced (Primal Heat Trilogy #2) (Order of the Blade) (21 page)

He managed a small smile and brushed her hair out of her face, his fingers snagging in the tangles. “I worked hard for that reputation. You helped me spread the word. Don’t be sorry.”

Lily leaned against him, reveling in the hardness of his body. He was her enemy in so many ways, but he was also her only ally. Now that she was his
sheva
, she knew his commitment to her safety would never fade, never die…until he went rogue, of course. But right now, she was in the arms of a man who would destroy the world to protect her, and that was a pretty incredible feeling for a woman who’d been hiding from shadows for too long. “I spent my life trying to learn as much about the Calydons as I could, so when Trig had his dream, I could save him.”

Gideon kept playing with her hair. “He was lucky to have you care about him so much.”

“Yes, well, it didn’t seem to make a difference.” She tangled her fingers through Gideon’s, watching his hand dwarf hers. “I thought I could save him. I thought I knew how. I danced for him when he was dreaming, trying to feed him my power. I stayed in his bedroom all night, dancing and singing until my feet bled, watching his body convulse on the mattress as he fought for his life. And he died.” Lily lifted her chin, refusing to revisit that horrible moment, the aching loss of realizing she’d lost her brother. “Until I figure out how to ensure a Calydon survives his dream, I can’t have a son.”

Gideon’s hand paused in the slow caress he was doing on her back. “If you mated with a human, you wouldn’t have a Calydon for a son.”

“I’ve done my research, Gideon. Being a
sheva
runs in the family, and I’ve known since I was little that the odds I’d be one were high. So, that was part of the other reason for doing my research. To figure out how to control the situation. To prepare myself if it ever happened. To stop it from happening. I’ve been careful not to get too serious with a human male, because I didn’t want to abandon my family if I got sucked in by a Calydon.” She groaned. “The best laid plans—”

He stiffened. “You have a man?” His voice came out a low growl that vibrated in his chest.

Lily lifted her head to look at him. His eyes had gone to a blue the shade of midnight, and his face was heavily lined with anger. She laid her hand on his face. “It’s difficult to believe I ever thought you were ice.”

His scowl didn’t lessen. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“No, I don’t have a man. And if I did, I’m sure he’d be long gone. I’ve been missing for two years, remember?”

His arms tightened around her and the scowl slowly faded, replaced by regret. “Shit, Lily, I don’t know why I just reacted that way.”

“I do. It’s the bond. We’re not even close to being fully bonded, and you’re already turning into the man Cade became. A man who was ready to murder his own son in a jealous rage.”

His face darkened. “I would never murder my child.”

His voice was so resolute with conviction, she knew he believed his words, and she did too...for now. “Did you know Cade?”

“Of course, I did. He was younger than I was, but I’d known him for three hundred years.”

“Would you ever have believed he’d try to murder his own son? A thirteen month old toddler?”

Gideon’s jaw worked hard and finally he shook his head. “No.”

“And my grandmother tried to kill her own daughter.” Lily needed to get off his lap. Retreat from their intimacy. Start to build the walls, like she’d been planning since she’d first realized she could be someone’s
sheva.

But Lily couldn’t bring herself to pull away from Gideon. His body was warm, his muscles hard, and his hand was reassuring as he caressed the small of her back. They weren’t doing anything that could increase the bond, but being this close to him was giving her strength. Grounding her. He was giving her security, and she needed that right now.

She gave up resisting her need for him and snuggled up under his jaw, as if he could keep all the monsters at bay. All but the monster he himself brought to the table.

“So, you believe this bond will turn us into people who kill the ones we love?” Gideon asked as he rested his chin against her head. “You buy into the legend?”

Lily nodded. “I haven’t found anything that will stop it, and I’ve been trying for a long time.” She nuzzled against his neck, inhaling the warm scent that was him. He still smelled like freedom and heat and man, but there was something else there now...vanilla. He smelled like vanilla. The faintest hint of chocolate chip cookies. “God, I haven’t thought of cookies in two years.”

“Cookies?”

“You smell like contentment and security.” She closed her eyes and concentrated on the vanilla, letting it curl through her body and drift into her cells, relaxing her body and giving it a sense of completeness and safety. Happiness. “How can you make me feel better, when you should be terrifying me?”

“The bond.” He pressed his lips to her hair. “You don’t think Cade knew the danger the minute he met your grandma? He knew, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to stop it. It just feels too damn good. You and I both know, yet all I want to do is slide my hand under this sweatshirt—” He slipped his hand beneath the waistband and flattened it over her belly, his light touch sending sparks of heat through her body. “And seduce you until you can’t think of anything but my body between your legs, my mouth on your breast and my scent all over you.” His hand moved upward until it brushed against the underside of her breast.

She sucked in her breath as desire rushed through her.

His teeth grazed over her ear. “You make me feel again, Lily, and I hate that. I can’t deal with it. I don’t know how to deal with it and it pisses me off. Emotions make me weak. But at the same time...” He paused to nibble on her earlobe. “God, it feels brilliant to feel alive again.”

Lily moaned softly and lifted her head so his lips could find her throat. She began to hear music dancing in her head, and she felt him tense, and knew he’d heard it too. “Be very careful,” she whispered. “I don’t think I can bring the full magic without earth, but you call it in a way it’s never been called before. I don’t know how it will work with you.”

His mouth stopped moving along her neck, but he didn’t pull away. He simply hovered there, as if he were fighting an internal battle. “So, the attraction between us...Satinka or
sheva
?” His voice had dropped a couple octaves, and was smoldering with a fire that licked at her insides

“Both.” Lily swallowed hard, suddenly aware that she was curled up between his thighs. She could feel his manhood hardening beneath her left hip, and her body quivered in response.

Gideon ran his thumb over her lip. “So, if we succumb to the Satinka attraction, I drain you dry and kill you. If we succumb to the
sheva
bullshit, all hell breaks loose. Double the risk.”

“And yet we’ve got twice the forces trying to pull us together.”

He nodded once and let his head fall back against the pale blue wall, his hand still buried in her hair, as if he couldn’t quite let go. His face was strained, and there was a single bead of sweat on his temple. He closed his eyes. “The simplest thing would be to pack you off to your parents and call it a day.”

She stiffened. “Frank—”

“I know, babe, I know.” His hand caressed the back of her neck. “He’ll come after you, and I couldn’t live with that.” His jaw tightened, and she saw the warrior come out. “Plus, we still need your expertise to find out what the hell’s going on.” He opened his eyes to look at her. “I owe it to my
sheva
...my first
sheva
...to see this thing through. Ezekiel can’t be allowed to get out.”

Lily nodded. “Frank has to be stopped. I’m not free until he is, so I guess that means we have the same goal, then.” She bit her lower lip and started to think, falling back into her old patterns of trying to strategize when the situation became too unbearable to handle. She’d done a lot of thinking during the last two years. “Okay, so I can look at the stone and see what the writing says and then—” She stopped at the expression on his face. “What?”

A faint smile toyed at the corners of his mouth. “You. Knowledge is power with you, isn’t it?” He slid his hand over her arm and lightly squeezed her biceps. “You might not have the muscles of a warrior, but you have strength. So much strength.”

Her belly tightened at the respect in his eyes. “Most people consider me a geek.”

He shrugged. “Who gives a shit what most people think?” He cocked his head. “How’d you survive for two years under Nate? I saw what he did to Ana, physically and emotionally. She’s a mess, and Grace is worried she’ll never recover. But you—” He laid his hand over her heart, his palm infusing heat into her chest “You survived intact, didn’t you?”

Something in her chest began to ache at the expression in his eyes. They weren’t cold anymore. Not at all. They were hot with hooded desire and something else. Respect? Affection? “Intact might be a bit optimistic, but yes, I survived.”

He tapped her heart. “With this. You willed yourself to win, didn’t you? Argued yourself into not giving up, or giving in?”

Lily thought of the nights she’d paced her cell, spending hours talking to herself, rationalizing her fears, focusing on her plans, buoying herself up, trying to learn from everything Nate said and did, so that someday she’d be able to take advantage of some slip up and escape. “I guess.”

Gideon cupped her chin and raised her face to his. “Kane asked me why it was different with you. Why I could let my other
sheva
die, but not you.”

“Because you’re not the arrogant idiot you were back then?”

He smiled. “Yeah, that too, but also because—”

There was a knock on the bedroom door. “Gideon?” It was a male voice. “Let me in.”

Gideon cursed, shoved Lily off his lap and leapt for the door. He slammed it shut just as the doorknob was turning. “She’s not decent,” he growled.

There was silence. “Hell, Gideon. What have you done?”

Gideon dropped his head against the white paneled door, his blue gaze not leaving Lily’s. “Leave the stone, Quinn. I’ll have her look at it.”

“I can smell her from out here,” Quinn said impatiently. “Anyone who walks down this hall is going to know you’ve bonded with her. You have two seconds to make sure she has clothes on, and then I’m coming in.”

Lily scrambled to her feet, her breathing tight in her chest. “He’s going to kill me.”

Gideon grabbed the stack of clothes and toiletries Grace had left on the bed and shoved them at Lily. “Take a long shower, and don’t come out until I get you. I’ll deal with this.” He grabbed the bathroom door, paused to give her a hard look, then yanked it shut.

The Order’s interim leader wasted no time answering Gideon’s question. “It smells like you’ve bonded with Lily.” His dark brown gaze settled heavily on Gideon’s. “Tell me she’s not your
sheva.
”

“She is.” There was no point in denial.

Quinn swore, and ran his hand through his hair, the action of a man who was agitated, not ready to strike. “You already had a
sheva
. You dodged the bullet already.
You paid your price.
”

“I did,” Gideon agreed. “You were there. You know. She was buried with my mark on her arms because she gave her life for me. The death stage.”

“Then Lily can’t be your
sheva.
” Quinn swore, his fists bunching when Gideon said nothing to support Quinn’s statement. His dark eyes were seething with tension. “You’re absolutely positive? There’s no chance you’re wrong?”

“She carries my mark.” Gideon shifted restlessly, adrenaline racing through him in response to Quinn’s agitation. “You will let her live,” he said quietly. “The same way I allowed Grace to live.”

“Fuck!” Quinn stalked over to the window, making no move toward the bathroom. He yanked it open and leaned on the sill, scowling out into the woods that stretched behind Dante’s mansion. He closed his eyes to the damp air, fighting for control. Only the tautness of his shoulders and the white of his knuckles indicated his true mood. “Does Grace know?”

“That Lily’s marked?” Gideon didn’t move from his position blocking the bathroom door, not yet certain whether he could trust the man that he’d trusted with his life for half a millennium. Shit. Had he really just thought that? Was he really questioning loyalty bonds that had supported him for centuries?

He thought of Lily, and the courage in those sensuous green eyes, and knew the answer was yes.

Quinn jerked his head once in acknowledgment. “Yes. Does Grace know you have another
sheva?”

“I have no idea. She’s the one who told me Lily was up.” Gideon’s brands were on fire now, burning with the need to come to life and protect his
sheva.
“What’s your problem? Talk to me before I attack first to defend her.” Since he had his own
sheva,
Quinn would understand that comment. He’d grasp the protective instincts surging through Gideon, the raging aggression threatening to shred all his self-control and launch an assault at Quinn before he could turn on Lily.

Quinn turned to face him, his gaze hollow and...worried. Shit. Gideon had never seen his blood brother look worried before. Order members assessed facts and analyzed weakness and strengths. Then they made a plan and took action, sometimes doing all of the above in a fraction of a second. Worry was weak, inefficient, and debilitating. They had no time for that.