Dancing Hours (11 page)

Once a week or so I would make it out to the mall and take David to lunch at the food court. 
It confused me to be making new friends at home when I was planning to leave soon. 

One time I asked him where Jessica’s mother was.  He said he didn’t know and didn’t care.  I got the idea that it wasn’t really my business, so I stopped asking questions about her after that. 
Some
times I resented
David’s
constant presen
ce. If I wasn’t already at his house for cooking lessons, I was working or teaching dance lessons.  In the in between time, if he wasn’t working, he hung out with me and Kate.  When the together time got to be too much, h
e usually fig
ured it out and went on his way.

I spent a lot of time going through my things since childhood to take only the things I would need for a year at school and weed out stuff that would be
uncool
.  Stuffed animals?  Out. 
L.A. Guidebook?
  Probably not cool, but definitely in.

Kate
picked a fight with me when August melted into view, but we made up and I knew she was just sad to see me go. 
Before I left town, I made sure to give little Jessica an early birthday present – a dress that she said she’s “
gotta
have” and a box of all my ch
ildhood bows,
barrettes
and head
bands.  They were mostly gifts from Nan
still
in perfect condition because I was not a
barrettes
and headbands kind of girl.

She squealed with delight and went to try them all on.  She didn’t pay much attention as I called out “goodbye” after her and promised to see her soon.

After weeks of wearing me down, Kate got me to agree to a going away party. It was a huge
bash the night before my flight.  It was epic. 
My entire
class seemed to be there
along with a fair amount of people I didn’t
even
recognize
. 
During the day it was a barbecue.  P
arents and
young
kids
milled around chatting and
play
ing.  As the day wore on,
they all disappeared with warm goodbyes. 
As night came, i
t was friends my age that stuck around to
make an
evening of it. 
My parents vowed to stay in their room and watch TV and not come out unless it was an emergency. 
When
a DJ showed up
I looked sternly at
Kate
.
  She shrugged.

“I already warned the neighbors and gave them earplugs.
” She said
“
Besides, what do you care, you’re blowing this town tomorrow so let’s blow it up tonight!”
she reasoned.

Her enthusiasm and my general good mood sealed the deal.  We danced the night away. 
In the dark with strobe lights erected in my backyard, it felt wonderful and anonymous.  I wasn’t the only one feeling my daytime persona melt away.  I saw a lot of friends
being uncharacteristically carefree
– especially Kate who was
chatting up
the DJ which I wouldn’t have minded at all if it weren’t for the fact that he sometimes missed the cue to put up a new song.  It turns out they had met a
t a regional
summer band camp a few years back.  Kate was the only girl on the trumpet line and the DJ remembered her instantly.

She came back to dance with me every once in a while and I danced with everyone else there.  She thought the party needed a little more romance suddenly and departed to request a slow song from the DJ.  Thing 2 tried to come dance with me.  He was sloppy drunk even though we didn’t have any alcohol at the party so I guessed he’d been drinking before he came.  I laughed hard and turned him around, pushing him in the general direction of anybody else without too much trouble.

There was an abrupt interruption with no music and I looked to see Kate
talking to
the DJ again.
  The crowd groaned at the interruption and the DJ took his attention away from Kate to get it moving again.
That’s when David first showed up. 

“Pretty smooth move with the guy over there.” He mused.

“Thank you.  I have been known to handle myself well.”

“I can see that.  Are you dancing?”

“I was, but Kate keeps distracting the DJ.”

David looked over and smiled.  “Sounds like Kate.” He said and I realized that we’d spent a good amount of time hanging out with her this summer.  David was new, but he’d really become a part of this place.  The music started to a sweet, slow melody.  Without a word, David extended a hand to me and I took it.  He pulled me close wrapping
one arm
around my waist and pulling my hand
to his chest
.  I had seen couples dancing like this before, but I’d never done it myself.  David and I had never been that close to each other.

I don’t know if I tensed up or how he knew, but David looked me sincerely in the eye and said “Relax a little.  It’s just a dance.” 

I sm
iled.  It was just a dance. 
I
moved in closer and
rested my head against his chest
.  He smelled sweet,
spicy and warm at the same time.  And he felt comfortable, like we’d been that way before and fit together perfectly.  The music was too loud, but I wondered what it would sound like if I could hear his heart beating.
  For those few minutes we swayed together and I tried to think of nothing, to just relax.  But even though I was trying very hard to think of nothing, I felt something.  It was
warmth and happiness
.  There was also
a little nervousness
… that this dance might
mean
something; might create a seismic shift that wouldn’t allow me to look at him the same way again.

When the song ended we stopped.  I stayed that way for a moment, listening to see if I could hear his heart, but the ambient noise was still too loud.  I was interrupted from my reverie by David asking if I had fallen asleep.  I heard it from his mouth and felt it vibrate in his chest at the same time.  I stepped back, acutely aware that we’d been standing there cuddling in a yard full of my friends.  I smiled awkwardly, said I hadn’t been sleeping and that I needed to go check on the snacks.  I turned quickly and walked away leaving him standing there looking confused.  It felt like there was an extra spring in my step. 

He’s got a kid.  You don’t want to be stuck here. 
You’re about to leave and go travel and this isn’t right.  You shouldn’t be even entertaining the notion.  He’s probably not even thinking that and even if he is you could ruin a perfectly good friendship.
The thoughts were swirling through my head without resting
.

I practically hid in my house for the next hour. 
When
my school friends
started leaving
with
hugs and tears and well wishes,
I found myself wondering, would I ever see
them
again? 

“You doing okay?”
came
a deep voice as I watched Shannon Myer leave with her boyfriend.

I painted on a smile
and turned
.  “Yeah, David, I’m doing okay.”

“Really?
  Cause you’re doing that thing with your mouth that you do when you’re sad.”
He said.

“What thing?”
I asked.

Kate
approached with
a bowl of chips from outside
.  “Oh, she’s been totally doing that thing all night.  Admit it.  You don’t want to leave.”
She said.

“What thing?!”
I demanded.

“
Nevermind
.
  Hey
look, the DJ needs a ride home. 
He’s so cute. 
Am I going to be a bad friend if I take him?”
She asked.

Totally.

“No way, go ahead.”
I said.

We hugged hard and I started to cry.  We said
our I
love
you’s
and
Kate
bounced away. 
I wasn’t offended by her sudden departure.  Kate was never good with goodbyes and making it quick, like ripping off a bandage, seemed less painful. 
I looked around to see David cleaning up. 

“You don’t have to
clean up
.” I
insisted
.  He laughed.

“It’s not going to clean itself and I believe you have the guest of honor title.”
He said.

“Very true.”
I conceded and began to help.  “So what’s the thing with my mouth?”
I asked.

I could see him smile, but he didn’t look at me. 
“When you are sad, you kind of pull in one corner of your mouth.”

“I do not!” I threw a
n empty
plastic cup at him.  I knew that I pulled in the corner of my mouth when I was sad, but I didn’t think it was obvious to other people, so I was a little embarrassed.

“Hey!”  David returned fire with two bags of chips.  One of them was open and I got
Cheetos
in my hair.  I walked over with a bowl of pretzels and a devilish look in my eye, but as I got close, he grabbed my wrist.  I went for it anyway – after all, he’d gotten
Cheetos
in my hair.  He ducked and pulled at the same time and we fell over the couch and onto the floor.  Laughing like lunatics we each grabbed a handful of pretzels and squished them in our hands onto each other’s hair.  I squealed and pulled back to reload, but he held me tight so I couldn’t reach any more.  One arm wrapped around me and the
other held my wrist and I squirmed to reach the pretzels until I finally had to concede the match.

“Okay, you win.” I smiled at him.  He stared at me intently and I became very aware of how our bodies were entwined and touching.  The quick beat of my heart from physical exertion made way to skipped beats of nervous anticipation.  Gently he released my wrist.  He smiled warmly at me and reach
ed
up to put a hand behind my head
,
pulling
a couple of
Cheetos
out
.  Softly, he said “You are a beautiful woman and I am going to miss you very much.”  He pulled me in for a hug, the kind of hug that fills your senses – his warmth, his smell, the beat of his heart, the feel of his stubble on my
face
, the strength of his arms.  I disappeared into that hug.