Authors: Teodora Kostova
Jared
tried calling but Fenix didn't pick up. A cold chill ran down his spine at the
very thought of hurting Fenix, even unintentionally. He called again and again,
until he heard Fenix’s voice on the other end of the line.
“Jared,
stop calling.”
“Please,
love, don't hang up. I’m sorry, OK? I didn't think of it like that. I really
thought you’d be glad to have the place to yourself again. As for not waiting
for you to get back – I wanted to take advantage of my day off and move all my
stuff back here. I knew I was
gonna
call you later
and see you tomorrow anyway so I didn't think it was such a big deal,” Jared
rattled off without even pausing for breath.
Fenix
sighed loudly.
“It’s
OK. I overreacted, I’m sorry. I just... when I got back and every trace of you
was gone...” he paused as his voice wavered. “I panicked. I knew you’d move
back to your place eventually, I was just shocked when it happened so fast and
so abruptly.”
“I
miss you, too, Fen,” Jared said quietly. He’d had such a busy day that he
hadn’t had time to
be
in his
apartment, all alone. It suddenly felt very lonely and cold.
“Maybe
it’ll be good for us to spend some nights apart?” Fenix said doubtfully.
“Maybe...”
Jared
felt like there was an invisible string connecting him to Fenix and right now
it was so taut that it might snap any minute.
“OK...
Well, goodnight then. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Fenix said.
“Goodnight,
Fenix.”
Jared
disconnected the call and felt empty. Fenix’s quiet ‘goodnight’ had sent a
sharp pang of pain straight to his heart. Jared wanted to say ‘I love you’ but
he hadn’t. What was wrong with him? He also didn't want to say goodnight over
the phone. He wanted to whisper it to Fenix as he lay curled in his arms every
single night for the rest of his life.
The
thought hit him like a slap with a wet rag.
That
was it. He didn't want to be here in this big, empty space. He didn't want to
sleep alone. He didn't think it would be good for them to spend some nights
apart. All he wanted right now was Fenix, right here with him, and he’d sell
his soul to the devil to get that if he had to.
Jared
grabbed his wallet and his keys and ran down the stairs. He thought about
getting a cab but didn't see any around, so he jogged to the tube station,
jumping on the first train and hoping like hell Fenix would agree to what Jared
was about to ask.
Jared knocked
on Fenix’s door loudly. It was past 10:00 pm, but Jared knew Fenix never went
to bed early. He was sure Fenix was still up. Why wasn't he opening the door?
Maybe he should have called. Knocking on the door again, Jared took out his
phone and dialled Fenix’s number. He heard the phone ringing inside and hurried
steps coming closer to the door.
“Jesus!
What’s going on?” Fenix swung the door open, holding his ringing phone in one
hand. He had his bathrobe on and his hair was still dripping from the shower.
Jared drank him in, flushed and wet, and could not for the life of him resist
kissing him. Without saying a word, Jared grabbed the front of the robe and
pulled Fenix close. He took his mouth in a possessive, nearly violent kiss,
pushing them both inside the apartment and kicking the door closed.
“Jared?”
he said questioningly between kisses. Jared slowed the kiss down and wrapped
his arms around Fenix affectionately.
“‘
How can I call the lone night good, though
thy sweet wishes wing its flight? Be it not said, thought, understood – then it
will be – good night
,’ Jared quoted Shelley quietly, still clutching to
Fenix. He felt Fenix nod, but he was silent. Jared was afraid to pull back and
look into his eyes. “I never want to say goodnight to you over the phone ever
again, Fen. I don't think spending some nights apart is good. I want you in my
bed every night,” he said, finally leaning back to meet Fenix’s eyes. They were
shiny with unshed tears, making the pale blue appear almost translucent. “I
love you so much, baby. I want you to move in with me.”
“Are
you sure?” Fenix asked, smiling hopefully.
“I’ve
never been more sure of anything,” Jared said and caressed Fenix’s cheek. He
leaned into the touch and closed his eyes for a moment.
“OK.”
Jared
laughed with relief. He hadn’t realised how tense he’d been until now. His
shoulders sagged and he felt twenty pounds lighter.
He picked Fenix up who yelped in surprise that
immediately turned into laughter, carrying him to the bedroom to get that damn
robe off him and celebrate.
Chapter fifteen
Jared
Jared took his
place next to Adam in Queen Victoria’s Dress Circle. It was
Poison
’s opening night and Fenix had
insisted they watch it from the seats instead of backstage. He wanted Jared to
experience the show as it was meant to be, and not to be distracted by the
madness behind the scenes. Jared had agreed – he’d have plenty of opportunities
to watch it from backstage later.
Fenix
had been a nervous wreck all day. Jared could sympathise – he knew how it felt
to open the show you’ve worked so hard on in front of a huge audience.
“You
OK?” Adam asked him, noticing that Jared wouldn't stop bouncing his knee and
looking around anxiously.
“Yeah.
I’m just nervous for
him. I can practically feel him standing behind the curtain over there.”
Adam
patted Jared’s knee and gave him an encouraging smile.
Soon,
the lights dimmed, and the music signalling the show was about to begin started
playing. The audience quieted down, an air of excitement and
expectation
falling like
an invisible cloak over the hall.
That’s it. That’s
Fenix’s big night. Nothing is going to be the same after tonight
,
Jared thought, mentally crossing his fingers, wishing with his whole being that
everything would be fine. He knew how many things could go wrong in a live show,
and he prayed that nothing would spoil Fenix’s big night.
Abruptly,
the hall went absolutely dark. The audience stilled to a point where they were
barely breathing. A moment later, a bass line sounded, loud and clear in the
darkness. People gasped in surprise. A drum beat joined the bass line, followed
by an electric guitar.
I knew what I was
getting into was reckless.
I knew I might end up
dead in a ditch instead of at the top of the charts
I knew I should have
known better
And yet I jumped head
on
And God knows I
enjoyed the free fall
Fenix’s
voice sounded over the music. It was smooth and seductive, with a hint of
danger. Jared had never heard him talk like that before.
Hit it,
Fenix
shouted, and in the next moment the curtain fell down and the music really
started. The song was fast and pure, old school rock and roll. Jared’s cheeks
hurt, but he couldn't stop smiling.
Fenix
appeared on stage through a gust of fog, the lights playing tricks on the eyes
and making him seem sinister.
Dangerous.
His blond
hair was styled messily with his bangs hanging over his face. He wore heavy
black eye make-up around his icy blue eyes that made them seem almost menacing.
The tight leather pants, cut off black vest with a phoenix rising from the
ashes at the front, solid biker boots and various leather cuffs on his wrists, completed
the rock star look.
He
was striking.
Jared
could not look away. His voice, his movements, his whole attitude on stage was
mesmerising. It was a far cry from the happy, easy-going Fenix Jared knew and
loved, and yet he pulled it off effortlessly.
Fenix
danced, sang, and acted his heart out on the stage tonight. The musical was
nothing like Jared had ever seen – it was edgy, loud,
controversial
.
There were sex scenes and drug use, and at one point, just like Fenix had said
on the radio, there were
pyro
-effects that made the
people in the first few rows yelp in surprise, cringing away. Joy played
Fenix’s love interest and the woman that led him to his eventual doom. She
drove him crazy with lust and jealousy until he overdosed and almost died. That
seemed to shake Fenix’s character – Ben Amery – out of his obsession and he
cleaned up his act, leading his band to the top of the charts once again.
It
was breathtaking to watch. The script, the dance routines, the songs, the
special effects, the performance – Jared could not find a single fault in
anything. He loved every second of it, and he was so proud of his boyfriend
that he felt ten feet tall. He was glad that he’d listened to Fenix and hadn’t
tried to sneak in on one of the rehearsals.
Poison
was something that needed to be experienced in its full glory.
When
it was over, the cast were treated to a standing ovation. They came out three
times to bow and thank the audience. Fenix’s eyes found Jared’s in the crowd
and he grinned so widely that Jared almost ran on stage and kissed the hell out
of him. Ever since he’d first seen him Jared had known Fenix was a natural born
star. Now the whole world knew it too.
Jared waited
for Fenix in their dressing room. He’d snuck out as the curtain fell and knew
Fenix wouldn't be long. God, he couldn't wait to see him! Jared was so turned
on that even thinking of Fenix on that stage sent painful waves of arousal
through his body and straight to his cock. It took all the willpower he
possessed not to go into the bathroom and relief the pressure.
He
sprawled on the sofa and ran his hand along the length of his erection through
his jeans. Just then, the dressing room door opened and Fenix walked in,
talking to someone and stopping mid stride as he saw Jared. His eyes flashed
with something dark and primal, and he spun around, hastily getting rid of
whoever was with him. Jared was too far gone in the haze of his desire to care.
Fenix
slammed the door closed, turned the lock, and took the distance between them in
three long strides. He was still wearing his stage clothes and make-up, and
Jared whimpered at the sight of him. Fenix climbed on the sofa between Jared’s
legs, pushing his thighs apart with his knees. He fell ungracefully on top of
Jared, crashing their lips together in an open mouthed, urgent kiss. Fenix
caught Jared’s lower lip between his teeth and pulled, soothing the pain with a
couple of licks,
then
nipping all along his jaw and
neck. He panted, moaned, and growled all at the same time, dry humping Jared
until he thought he was going to explode.
Jared
had never been so aroused, ever. All he could hear, all he could feel and think
about was Fenix on top of him, kissing him, touching him, biting him...
“Jesus,
Fen!” Jared managed to grind out. “Please, please, baby. I want you to fuck me.
I need you. I can’t...” his voice completely cut off when Fenix nipped below
his ear, hard. Jared yelled his name again and started begging, writhing
underneath Fenix, making desperate sounds and way past caring. His whole body
was trembling, alive under Fenix’s touch.
Fenix
leaned back long enough to discard his t-shirt and unzip his pants, pawing at
Jared’s clothes at the same time. Jared sat up and made a quick job of
undressing. He
lay
back on the sofa, naked, his cock
swollen, pulsing and erect on top of his belly. Fenix stood up, took his pants
and underwear off, and leaned down to kiss Jared messily.
“Stay,”
he commanded and headed to the wardrobe. He came back a moment later, holding a
condom and already opening the bottle of lube, slicking his fingers.
Laying
back on top of Jared, Fenix pushed his tongue inside
his mouth, licking and probing and conquering. Jared felt a cool lubricated
finger slide inside him and made a sound of protest.
“No,
don’t. I don't want that.”
Fenix
pulled back and looked at him questioningly. They always prepared each other
before they fucked, just in case. Pain wasn’t in their list of kinks. But Jared
was too aroused, and if Fenix started stretching him with his fingers, he’d
come on the spot. “Please, no prep.
And
...” Jared bit
his lip, not sure if that was the right moment to discuss this, but he
desperately wanted Fenix’s bare cock inside him. “Skip the condom, too.”
Fenix’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Are
you sure?” he asked.
“Yes.
I’m clean, and I trust you.”
Jared
was sure Fenix wasn't fucking around. He trusted him completely when he said he
loved him. They were living together, were committed to each other, and Jared
saw no reason to keep using condoms.
Fenix
nodded, his fingers trembling as he palmed the bottle of lube again. He slicked
his bare cock liberally and positioned himself on top of Jared, their chests so
close that their hearts beat together. Fenix pushed the head of his cock inside
Jared. He tensed, breathing heavily through the initial sting. Jared wanted
this, so fucking much, it hurt more not to have Fenix inside him. Running his
hand along Fenix’s ribs, Jared grabbed his ass and pushed it down while
thrusting his hips up at the same time. Fenix groaned when his cock was balls
deep inside Jared and his body stilled.