Crushing (14 page)

Instead I held out my hand. “I’ll take it. You don’t have to do that.”

“It’s fine. I’ve got it.” He wasn’t even looking at me.

“We should go,” I said.

“No. It’s not safe to walk back on the course while there’s lightning. You know better than that.” He rolled his eyes. At least he had taken off those sunglasses so I could see his expression.

“But under a tree isn’t good either.” I really didn’t want to fry under here no matter how pretty it was.

“Well, since this tree is lower than some of the other trees nearby, we’re fine. Being under a low-standing tree is safer than out in the open. We’ll just have to wait it out.” He set down the golf bags.

“Whatever.” I looked away. I didn’t want to wait under here with him being so mad at me. I didn’t know if I could stand that much tension close up. It had been horrible during the match, and I had been trying to focus on something else. Not that I did such a good job.

We stood there in silence not looking at each other for what seemed like forever.

I finally couldn’t stand it another second. “You’re mad.”

“You think so? I would have gone with furious.” He was finally looking at me.

“Why?”

He snorted. “Aurora, if you don’t know the answer to that, I can’t help you.”

“Because I’m going on a date with Dom.” There—it was out in the open.

“There you go.”

“Let me get this straight. You move here, and we’re friends. You flirt with me, but don’t ask me out. You don’t like other guys touching me or being around me, but still don’t ask me out.” I marched over to him. “And you go to the dance with another girl. So a guy asks me out, I say yes, and you’re mad? Explain to me, in this scenario, what I have to feel bad about?” I huffed.

He took a few steps forward, and now we were almost toe to toe. Which left me the disadvantage of having to crane my neck to look at him.

“Well, let’s see. You flirt with me, walk on the beach with me late at night, text me, dance with your body pressed up against me, and then agree to go out with someone else. There’s a word for that kind of behavior, Rory.” He was fuming.

I felt like he had slapped me. Is that what he really thought of me?

“For all I know, all your flirting and joking around could be to get at Dominic. You’ve never once said or done anything to make me think you were serious. How was I supposed to know what you were thinking?” I knew I had been inconsistent, but I was confused. And they were so pushy, I never even got to catch my breath.

“Well then, let me make it totally clear for you.” He reached behind my head, pulled the hair tie out, and ran both hands through my hair. He tilted my head back and looked me in the eyes for a moment as if waiting to see my reaction.

Next thing I knew his lips were on mine. My heart was trying to beat out of my chest. The kiss was soft and sweet. I could hear the rain pouring down like we were in our own little bubble. He tilted his head sideways and moved his lips on mine. I kissed him back and felt a rush of emotion I couldn’t really identify. Goose bumps popped up all over my skin.

He pulled one of his hands out of my hair and brushed it down my back. He then pulled me up against him. My whole body melted against his. His mouth moved along my jaw to my ear.

“Have you got it now, Rory?” He brushed his lips along my throat.

Thunder rumbled and lightning lit up the sky.

Suddenly, he stepped back like something had bit him.

I was shivery and dazed. What was that? I couldn’t get a coherent thought in my head. When I opened my eyes, he still looked furious. What now?

“I knew it. How can you even think about going on a date with him when you just kissed me like that?”

“So that’s why you kissed me? As a test? To see if you were right?”

“Let’s just say I was trying to prove a theory.”

“Well, I hope you got what you wanted.” Who did he think he was? The most amazing kiss ever, and he was pissed at me? What a jerk! I stomped over to my bag and grabbed it. He reached out and grabbed my arm.

I spun and glared. “Get your hand off me. Now.”

He dropped his hand like he’d been burned.

I put my bag on my shoulder and shoved my way out from under the tree.

He followed. “Rory, stop. It’s not safe.”

I kept walking, headed for the clubhouse. “Stay away from me, Gage. I mean it.” At this point I was willing to risk the lightning.

I walked back to the clubhouse still in a daze. What the heck just happened? I was as mad at myself as I was at him. On some level he was right. How can I think about going out with Dom when I can kiss him like that? I was angry about the way he had gone about it and even more mad that he basically ruined our first kiss with his little stunt.

It was still pouring, but I kept to the tree line for shelter. I was still completely soaked by the time I got back. I spent part of the walk back crying, so I guess the rain was a blessing. Hopefully no one would be able to tell, and I wouldn’t have to answer any questions.

Dom jogged up to me when I got inside the clubhouse, and grabbed my bag.

“Rory, are you all right? I was worried when you didn’t get back when the lightning started. You shouldn’t have been out in it.” He was frowning.

“I’m good. Can we go?”

He stared at me. I could swear he knew what happened in that split second. This was one of those times when I wished he didn’t know me quite so well. I saw his eyes move to the doors behind me. I knew who was there. He must have followed me back.

“Let’s go.” Dom put his hand on my shoulder and led me out to the parking lot.

Could my life get any more complicated?

#

I crawl around the room, and the dirt and rocks dig into my hands and knees as I try to find a way out. Again. I know there isn’t one. I freeze when I hear the door open and that hated voice. He comes down the stairs calling my name. My whole body gets the shakes. I don’t answer. Praying he’ll go away. I want to go home.

I didn’t speak to Gage the rest of the week. Not at practice, not by text, and not at school. I was angry still. At myself and him. He gave me a wide berth, so I assumed he was still mad too. I could tell Dom was thrilled that we weren’t speaking but was smart enough to keep it to himself. My mood had been crummy all week. He had an older sister, so he had an inbred knowledge of what not to say to a girl. It was a gift. Something Gage quite obviously did not possess.

During the week we put up posters and talked to people about Lindsay. The kids in Student Leadership all went out and posted stuff all over town and some of the surrounding areas. It made me feel better to be doing something to help find her.

On Friday after school I came home and started getting ready. I took a hot shower. I tried to hold it together while I was getting dressed. What was I doing? I wasn’t this person. I was hurting people I cared about. I had hurt Gage and Dominic numerous times already by not knowing my own mind. I shouldn’t even be going out with him tonight, but I knew how much he was looking forward to it. I may have already ruined things with Gage, but I was going to do my best not to hurt Dom again. I would be my most fun self tonight on our date. Even if it killed me.

When I came downstairs, he was already in my kitchen filching the cookies my mom had left on the counter. Did he ever actually get full? I was pretty sure not.

“Seriously? I think you just come here for the food.”

“That’s the second best thing about coming here,” he said as he wiped his hands on a paper towel. There was also a picnic basket sitting on the counter with his name taped to it. Interesting.

He came over to me and pulled me into one of his bear hugs. “You are the best thing about coming here.”

He was so sweet. I put my face in his chest. I couldn’t get a deep breath. I had been on the edge of tears all week. I needed to pull it together.

I stepped back out of the hug and smiled up at him. “Okay, I’m ready whenever you are.”

He grabbed the basket, and we headed out to his truck and took off.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going now?” We’d been driving for a bit, and I still had no clue what we were doing.

“The beach.”

“Which beach?” I was starting to get excited. I hoped we were doing what I thought we were.

“Folly.” He grinned.

“
Yessss
! Night surfing? I forgot it’s a full moon!” I was bouncing up and down in my seat.

“I know we usually go with the Js, but I thought it would be fun just the two of us.”

I loved night surfing. We had started going when my brothers started driving. We hadn’t been since they went away to college. If my parents knew we did it, they would freak. It wasn’t exactly the safest thing to do, but it was an incredible rush. I felt lighter of spirit just thinking about it.

Twenty minutes later we pulled into the parking lot. Dom pulled a bag out of the back. It had my bathing suit and wet suit in it.

“How did you get these?” Someone had been poking through my stuff.

He looked a little sheepish. “Veronica and Jackson helped. I didn’t want to ruin the surprise, but it’s not like I could ask your mom. Although, she did make us an awesome picnic for after. I told her we were going to the beach, but not everything we would be doing.”

That explained the basket. “You are incredibly sneaky, Rossi. I’ll be changed in a sec.” He got out and went to get our surfboards out of the back. I climbed into the backseat of the truck. Thankfully the windows were tinted. I changed as fast as I could.

We headed out into the waves, and it was glorious. The water was still a bit cold even with the wet suit, but I didn’t care. The moon lit up the water almost like daytime. After some great rides, we just floated for a while on our boards. It was peaceful, quiet, and immense. My problems seemed small out here on the wide expanse of ocean.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

“Much.” I turned my head to look at him. “Thank you. This was just what I needed. How did you know?”

“Well, I planned it before you were having a bad week, so I don’t think I can take credit for that. I’ve had some of the best times with you doing this. I missed it.” He looked away.

“What is it? Tell me.” I wanted to know what he was thinking. He looked upset.

“I want to, but I promised not to pressure you, and I’m trying so . . . no. I can’t.” He blew out hard.

“I’m really sorry for everything, Dom. I know I’ve hurt you. I wish I could go back and fix it, but I can’t.” I felt the edge of tears creeping in again. I knew I had to tell him. So much for being my most fun self.

He grabbed my hand. We were just sitting there floating in the water facing each other, with our boards bumping together. I wanted to get away from the pain I could see in his face. I hated being the cause.

“Rory, it’s okay. You know that I will always be here, right? I’m not going to give up and walk away because you do something I don’t like. I know you, and I know you wouldn’t hurt me on purpose.”

I had to do it now. I couldn’t look him in the face and not tell him. I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. “I kissed him, Dom.”

His head pulled back like I’d slapped him.

Tears were filling my eyes, and I tried to blink them back. “Well, technically he kissed me, but I was a willing participant. I shouldn’t even have come out with you tonight. I should have told you before, but I didn’t know how. I’m so sorry. If you never want to speak to me again, I understand.”

He rubbed his chest like it hurt. Dammit. I was a horrible person.

He was quiet for a minute. He took a shaky breath.

“I had a feeling something happened. It was when the match got canceled, right?”

I nodded. The tears were starting to pour down my face. I tried to wipe them away, but the wet suit wasn’t doing a very good job as a tissue.

“I knew something had changed. So is that it? You decided to pick him?”

“No. Absolutely not. I’m furious with him. He kissed me just to prove I shouldn’t go out with you. It was to prove a point. Not because he cares about me. I know I don’t deserve you now. You need to find a girl who knows her own mind. Who can be with you without getting sidetracked by someone else.” I started to sob.

He picked me up off my board like I weighed nothing and sat me on his. He turned me around until my back was to his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me.

“Rory, I don’t think you get to decide what’s best for me. I can decide for myself.” He set his chin on top of my head.

“I suck.” I was trying to stop crying, but it wasn’t really working.

“Princess Aurora, calm down.” He was rubbing my arms. “Are you my girlfriend?” he asked.

I pulled my head to the side to look at him. “We established that already, Dom. No.” I frowned.

“So exactly why do you feel like you just committed adultery and need to be stoned in the street?” He raised his eyebrows at me. “I don’t believe I’ve asked you to be my girlfriend. Therefore, you are still free. I told you this the night before the match.”

I still couldn’t stop crying.

“Breathe, Ror. You’re okay.”

“You don’t care that I kissed him?” I was floored.

“Well, let’s not go that far. I would have preferred you didn’t, but it’s done now, so there’s nothing I can do. Like I said, you aren’t my girlfriend . . . yet.”

I took some deep breaths and got the tears under control.

“Better?” he asked.

“Uh-huh.” I did feel better. Like a hundred-pound weight had been lifted off.

“I get what this is about. It’s that time of the month, isn’t it?” he asked with a knowing look.

Oh no. He did not just say that.

“Dominic!” I turned my body and shoved him hard in the stomach. The board turned over, and we ended up in the water. We came up laughing.

“You’re a jerk! It is not that time. Ugh. Just because I was upset, it doesn’t always mean that.” I was shaking my head at him, and he just grinned. Good thing he was cute or I would’ve clobbered him.

“Let’s go in. I’m hungry,” he said.

Of course he was.

We had a picnic on the beach. I couldn’t believe how hungry I was. My mom’s fried chicken was amazing as usual. Why was I not shocked that he had coerced her into making food for him? That sweet face hid a manipulator of the first order.

After we ate, we spent a while just lying on the blanket, looking up at the stars and not really talking. I did love spending time with him and being myself. I wasn’t nervous or worried when I was with him. It was easy.

No squirrels were dancing. They were curled up taking a nap. Didn’t that mean something? I was going to have to think about it.

We headed back just in time for curfew. My parents were out of town for the next week at a medical conference, but I still had to call them to tell them I was in. On the house phone, so they knew I was really home. My brothers would be staying home with me for the week and making the commute to school.

Dom parked in my driveway and shut off the engine.

“I had fun, Ror. Thanks for going.”

“Even with my meltdown?”

“Oh, I’m used to those.” The grin was back. I smacked him in the arm.

“What a charmer you are.” I rolled my eyes.

He reached over and pulled me next to him on the bench seat.

“What are you doing?”

“You are too far away over there.” He put his arm around my shoulders.

“Dom.”

“I think you should give me a shot. Fair is fair.”

“What are you talking about?” I was afraid to know.

He ran his hand over my hair and down my back. He looked down into my eyes.

“Well, if you’re going to make a fair and unbiased choice, you need all the facts. You kissed him and you haven’t kissed me, so fair is fair, right?”

“I don’t know if that is a good idea.” I had spent some time this week thinking about that kiss and how it had made me feel. Gage was an amazing kisser, but his reaction after made me feel like I was playing games. I didn’t want to do that, and I didn’t want to give either of them the wrong idea about me. “I think it would make me feel a bit slutty to do that. I care a lot about you, Dom, but the next time I kiss someone, I want to be sure. I don’t want to just do it, okay?”

“Okay, princess. Can I have a hug then?”

“Of course. You give amazing hugs.” I smiled at him. He pulled me to him and squeezed. I felt comfortable and peaceful. He held on for a long time. As he let go, he rubbed my back and arms. Then he leaned down and kissed my cheek.

“I can wait for my kiss, but not forever.” He looked into my eyes, and I saw something I didn’t totally understand there. I decided it was time to go in.

I hopped out, and he walked me to my door. He waited until I opened it and gave me another big hug.

“Lock up and set the alarm,” he reminded me, although I wasn’t likely to forget with everything going on.

I shut the door, locked it, and turned the alarm off and back on. I had the house to myself until my brothers came home.