Crushing (13 page)

Okay, it’s official. I will never understand men. I have grown up with a houseful, but they are still confusing.

The rest of the day was thankfully less eventful. Nathan won over all the moms. He was charming and gorgeous. He entertained them with stories about all the places he had traveled. I think they were surprised with how invested he was in Gage and all the places he had taken him. They were already deciding who they could set him up with even though he insisted he was a permanent bachelor.

Gage spent some time with the dads talking golf, and I could tell they had been impressed. If I could just get my friends to accept him, I would have some breathing room, but I didn’t see that happening anytime in the near future.

I kept a distance between Holden and myself. He was bordering on drunk all day. He was usually fine until he started drinking, and then he became someone none of us recognized. It seemed to be getting more and more often now. If there wasn’t alcohol, he would just bring his own. None of us really knew what to do about him, but I was worried that it was going to go bad soon.

Right before dinner I saw his dad talking to him over by the bar. Mr. Cosgrove seemed angry, and Holden just looked defeated. Holden had never had a happy home life that I knew of. His mom drank too much, and his dad was incredibly controlling. He was mean and expected perfection from Holden always. He was their only child, and I felt sorry for him. With parents like that, he needed siblings. Holden could be such an ass, but just when you wanted to kill him, he would do something nice or funny and you’d forgive him, then it would start all over. I had a feeling, though, he was starting to really spiral down now. I hadn’t seen much of “funny Holden” or “entertaining Holden” lately, and the alcohol was making him do stupid things he never would have before. It totally changed his personality.

I sat next to Dominic while we ate, and I could tell he was trying hard not to stress me out. He was never directly rude to Gage. He ignored him or was civil when necessary.

Gage and his uncle went home a little early—Gage to deal with Bailee and Nathan to get some work done. I think Gage had had all he could take of my friends.

I walked Dom out to his car when he left, and he gave me a big hug and held on tight.

“Can we go out? On a date. Like a real one?” he asked. “No pressure. I promise. I want to spend some time with you without all of them.” He nodded toward the house.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” This was nerve-wracking. Was this a road I was ready to go down with him? I wasn’t sure if there was any going back once we started.

“Come on. It’ll be fun. We always have fun.” His smile was infectious.

Fun sounded really good right now. “Okay, but no pressure? We are not boyfriend/girlfriend just because we go out, right?” Well, this was one way to figure out what I wanted, I guess.

He rolled his eyes at me. “Yes, Aurora, you will still be a free agent. No lifelong commitments because we go out one time.”

“All right then.” I hugged him, and he got in his truck and drove off. I stood on the sidewalk wondering if I had just made a big mistake.

#

The singsong voice. He uses my name. I try to sit up. There is a crack of light. My eyes burn and my body shakes. “Take the water.” I hold out my hands. “Here.” Some sort of basket. I feel around in it hesitantly. Food. “Eat. Your lessons will begin soon.” The crack of light is gone.

“Mom, have you seen my house key?” I asked the next morning. I was digging around in my purse as I came into the kitchen.

I wasn’t sure when it had happened, but my house key was missing off my key ring. My house key had been on this little key ring separate from the other keys. I knew there had been money missing from my wallet when the scary guy had stolen from everyone’s purses, but I hadn’t noticed my key missing then. If he had just been after cash, why would he have stolen my house key? It didn’t make sense. It probably fell out of my purse when he stole the money.

“No, Rory. I haven’t. You need to keep better track of your things.” She was bustling around the kitchen, and I could tell she was barely paying attention.

“So, can you give me your key so I can get in tonight?” I asked.

“Rory, there are other keys in the drawer. Just grab one. I’ll call and have the security code changed.” She took off down the hall to the laundry room. Ooookay. I guess if she wasn’t bothered by it, I wouldn’t be.

Dom roared up in his truck as I walked out the door. I loaded my clubs into the back of his truck. He was back to his happy self since I had agreed to the date.

“So what do you think about Friday night for our date?” Dom asked.

“Sure. Sounds good to me.” I was all for missing Friday night dinners right now, and I was sure once my parents heard I was going out on a date with Dominic they wouldn’t even blink.

“My mom is going to be impossible once she hears,” I told him.

“No worries, Rory. I’ll explain it to her. She thinks I’m adorable.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me. She absolutely did love him, and she would be over the moon thinking that her dream plan for me was coming true.

“Yes, she does, but one wonders why.” I scowled at him. “What with the ego and all.”

He ignored me and continued like I hadn’t spoken. “So I have a plan already, but it’s a surprise.”

I was still wondering if it wasn’t a mistake to encourage him. It felt like a big deal even though we had agreed it wouldn’t be. Was I doing something wrong? Why did it seem like I was cheating? But cheating on whom? Gage had never asked me out, and he had just gone to the dance with Sophie.

“I’m not going to do anything ridiculous or embarrassing. And there will be no posting on Facebook. I don’t want everyone all in my business.” I wasn’t hiding it, but it was not time to share it with the world either. It was just a date, for heaven’s sake.

Dominic was so kid-like sometimes. His dimples were showing the whole drive to school, and I was glad he was back to his normal happy self. He pulled into his parking spot in the student lot, and even the sight of Gage hanging out by his car didn’t dull the smile.

We got out of the car, and Holden started waving us over. Uh, that would be a big no. I looked around and found Laken getting out of her car. I decided that was a better choice.

“I’ll see you later, Dom.” I quickly moved off so he didn’t get overly enthusiastic about saying good-bye. As I got to her car, I noticed Laken looked upset.

“Hey, what’s up? Are you okay?” Was this a Walker thing? She looked like she had been crying.

“Hey. Umm, yeah, I think so. My grandma’s not doing so good.” Her grandmother had been suffering with Alzheimer’s for a while now, and it was especially difficult for Laken because they had been so close all her life.

“Is she sick, or is it the memory thing?” I felt awful for her family. It must be so hard to deal with.

“The memory thing. She didn’t recognize me yesterday. Most times she still does for at least part of the time. She kept thinking I was her sister who died years ago.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Gage walked up when we started walking toward school. “Hey.” He brushed his hand down my back, and I got goose bumps.

“So you ready for today?” I asked. Our match today was at a beautiful course on Kiawah Island. The course was amazing. Gorgeous rolling greens set next to the beach. You would think if you’d seen one golf course you’d seen them all, but it just wasn’t true. Each had its own beauty. I loved this particular course, but it was really difficult. I was going to have to work hard to do well.

“Yup. I wish I could have played this weekend though, but there was no time,” he said.

“I’m pretty sure you don’t have anything to worry about.”

He was probably better than anyone on the other teams too. He was seriously almost a scratch golfer.

“Me, however, I am probably going to tank it.” I sighed.

“You’ll be fine. It’s not a big deal.”

“Every match is a big deal. Ask Coach. He’ll tell you,” I protested.

“All coaches think that way. You can’t let it get in your head. It’s just like practice.”

“Easy for you to say. They’re going to be recruiting you to play on the PGA tour soon.”

“I don’t think so. Not with my record. They don’t need another bad boy of golf. They have plenty now.”

I laughed. “You aren’t a bad boy.”

“I think the dean at my old school would disagree, and if Holden ever touches you again like he did yesterday, it won’t be any different here.”

“What are you talking about?” Laken asked. All of a sudden she was on the alert.

“Holden was drinking at the BBQ yesterday,” I told her.

She winced. “Ahh. That can’t have gone well.”

“We had a little incident in the kitchen,” I explained.

Gage nodded. “Well, that little ‘incident’ almost caused me to get in trouble with your mom.” He was starting to look mad again.

“I was handling it when you came in.” I hated that he was making me sound helpless.

“Is that what you call what you were doing? Didn’t your brothers teach you how to defend yourself?”

“They taught me plenty, including how to stay calm and not overreact.” I glared at him. “I was trying not to cause a drama, considering there has been enough of that recently. I’ve told you before, he’s harmless.”

“Pushing yourself on a girl is not harmless, Rory. You need to get that into your head. You need to use your knee or just let me handle him, because it’s obvious Mr. Perfect refuses to do it,” he hissed.

“What do you mean?” Laken wanted to know.

“Rossi. He just lets him paw her. If he cared about you, Rory, he wouldn’t let him do that.”

“Dominic wasn’t even there. Holden doesn’t do it when Dom is around. I’m pretty sure it’s on purpose. I hate that you act like Dominic has done something wrong. If he had seen that, he wouldn’t have done nothing.” He was so ready to blame Dom for everything. “I was in my own house in my own kitchen. I would have handled it without you.” Where was all this coming from? He was so aggravating.

“Yeah, well next time I’m not going to be so nice. I gotta go to class. I’ll see you at the match.” He tugged on my hair and walked away.

How could I want to kiss him and kick him at the same time?

“What happened exactly?” Laken looked shocked.

“Holden cornered me by the fridge and was overly friendly. He wasn’t taking no for an answer. Then Jackson came in and diffused the situation, but it could have been bad,” I explained.

“We may have to have an intervention for Holden. He is getting out of hand.” Laken looked concerned.

We made our way to class. We had AP Lit with Veronica. I had told her last night about the thing with Holden and made her promise not to mention it to anyone. I did not want the whole world to know.

We got to class and found our seats next to Veronica. We were early, and Mr. McNamara was always late to first period. Especially on Mondays, when the line at the coffee place was really long. It would give me a few minutes to fill them in on what I had done.

“Soooo…,” I started. “Dom asked me out on a date.”

“What did you say? I can’t believe you waited this long to tell me.” Laken was obviously irritated.

“I was waiting until we were all together.”

“What did you say?” Veronica asked.

“I said yes?” I left it like a question. I wanted to know what they thought.

“Is that a good idea? What about Gage? Does he know? Are you going to tell him?” she asked.

We were whispering now.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea, but I have to figure out what to do about them, and I’m not sure how to do that. I figured if I go out with Dom, I’ll know.”

“How will that change things?” Laken looked confused.

“I think if I feel something for Dominic I’ll be able to tell on the date. You know—either I’ll feel like I want to be his girlfriend or I won’t.” I shrugged.

“What if you don’t?” Laken asked.

“He said no pressure. I told him I wanted to be sure he understood that one date did not mean we were a couple. He understood. What do you think? Did I make a mistake?” I was nervous. I hoped they could tell me I was doing the right thing.

“I thought you were going to sit with it awhile? We talked about this.” Veronica never liked it when I didn’t take her advice.

“I know, but when he asked me, I just caved. He was sweet, and I wanted to go, so that must mean something?”

“I guess. You know Gage is going to find out, right?” she asked.

“Uhh, no. I wasn’t going to tell him. At least not right away. Why?”

“I’m pretty sure Dom is going to make sure he knows. There’s no way he’s going to let that opportunity pass him by. You ready to deal with the fallout?”

Laken was wide-eyed and nodding.

I hadn’t even thought about that. It wasn’t that big of a deal, was it?

#

When I got to the match, I felt like the squirrels in my stomach were doing half gainers. No simple dances today. Diving off the high dive is what it felt like. Nonstop. I was worried Gage would be mad. Maybe I should have told him myself? When I checked out the list, I saw Coach Cliff had put me with Gage for the match. Of course he had. This was my ridiculous life.

I hadn’t even seen him, so maybe I was all worked up for nothing. He could either not know or not care. Right.

I met up with the team by the pro shop. The other teams were milling around too. I waved to a few people I knew. There were a few girls on the other teams, so I wasn’t going to be the only girl out there today.

“Ladies and gents, please find your groups and head off to your first tee,” Coach Cliff shouted, sounding like the ringmaster at a circus.

I still hadn’t seen Gage. When I turned around to look for him, he was under a tree a few feet away. He had those annoying sunglasses on, so I couldn’t read his expression. He wasn’t smiling, so I didn’t think that boded well for me. I walked up to him to get a feel for where he was at.

“Hey.”

He looked down at me over his sunglasses for a moment. Uh-oh. I had seen that look before. That particular look was usually reserved for Dom or Holden. Whoa.

He pushed off the tree he was leaning on and just walked away.

Well. Angry much?

My chest tightened into a ball. Tears pricked the back of my eyelids. I deserved this and much more. I was a jerk. How had my life gotten to be such a mess so fast?

I gave him some distance and then started walking toward the tee.

“Rory, I’m so glad you are playing this year.” Andrea, from one of the other teams, had come up next to me as I walked. Normally I liked her, but I wasn’t really up for company right now. I just wanted to smack the heck out of a golf ball. Manners won out, though, and I felt compelled to be polite and make conversation.

“Yeah. It’s not like my parents gave me a choice, but I love it, so it’s fine.” I shrugged. “How about you? How’ve you been? Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Good.” She leaned in to whisper. “Who’s the hottie you’re playing with?” She motioned to Gage walking ahead of us.

“Gage Maddox. He’s been living in Florida. His family’s from here, though.” Southerners always wanted to know where people hailed from and where their people hailed from.

“He’s so gorgeous. Taken yet?” she kind of whispered out of the side of her mouth.

“Nope. Not that I know I of.” I gave her a wan smile. Would I be okay if he started going out on dates with someone else too? Was that the test? I felt nauseated.

Andrea’s smile got big. “Well, time to work it then.” She flounced away to introduce herself to him. I just kept walking. Great. I was going to have to watch them flirting all day. It was what I deserved anyway.

I wasn’t too far off. Andrea did try to flirt with him as the match went on. Gage was polite but didn’t flirt back. He kept to himself, and he didn’t speak to me at all. It was painful, and I was playing horribly.

We were on the back nine, when I saw the thunderclouds rolling in. Crap. Junior players had to walk the course. We weren’t allowed to drive the carts. So if it started raining, we had to walk back in it. At this point it might improve my mood.

I shanked my next shot out of bounds, into the trees. I went stomping over there to try to find it. Grumbling the whole way.

I climbed underneath a willow tree looking for my ball. I loved willow trees normally. They were beautiful with their branches sweeping the ground. When you were under one, it felt like your own little world. I always thought if there were fairies, this is where they would live. Unfortunately, I was too mad to appreciate it this time.

“Stupid golf ball, stupid shot, stupid tree, stupid boys.” I was so busy tromping around looking for my ball, I didn’t even hear anyone near me.

“That’s a lot of stupid.”

I jumped and whipped my head around. Gage was pushing aside the branches to get underneath. His face was grim.

“What do you want? I know
you
didn’t hit your ball under here.” I narrowed my eyes at him. It seemed irrational, but suddenly I was livid with him. Things had gotten so upside down and jumbled up since he arrived. I just wanted some normalcy back in my life, but obviously that wasn’t going to happen.

“It’s starting to rain,” he said. I looked out toward the course. I couldn’t see it, but I could hear it. It was starting to pour. “They’re canceling the match.” Just as he said it, lightning struck and thunder clapped a split second after. Fabulous. Now what? My golf bag was still out on the course. Then I noticed he had two on his back. He was carrying my bag. Why did he do something nice when I was so mad at him? And when I didn’t deserve it? I wanted to stomp my feet.