Authors: Skyy
Crossroads (31 page)
“See that right there. That is why I don't tell you anything anymore.” Lena paced the floor. “I don't want to hear how I'm disappointing you and Daddy. I don't want you trying to control my every decision.”
“Well, if you would make good decisions, I wouldn't have to.”
“They aren't your decisions to make!” Lena yelled. She turned back to her mother. “What would you have said if I would have told you that I like women? Really, Mother, what would your reaction have been?”
“I don't know, Lena. You never gave me the option to find out!”
They stood in silence, each staring at the other.
Karen sighed. She picked her purse and keys back up.
“Lena, you think you know know everything, but you don't. I am only trying to protect you like I am supposed to. I am your Mother!”
“Mother, I don't want to hurt you or Daddy. I just needed to figure out what I wanted before I came to you two with anything.”
“So have you figured it out? What are you doing with yourself, Lena?”
The question echoed in Lena's mind. “I don't know.”
“Well.” Karen placed her shades on her face. “Call me when you do.” Karen pulled the door open and walked out without closing it.
Lena wanted to close the door, but she couldn't move her feet.
Terrin walked from the back fully dressed. She walked past Lena and closed the door. She turned around. Lena's whole body was shaking. Terrin walked over to Lena and put her arms around the sobbing woman. She silently offered her support.
42
“A'ight, bruh, you there?” Cooley said after pressing flash on her iPhone.
“Yeah.” Denise sat on the couch, drinking a bottle of water. Another line began to ring on their conversation.
“Hello?” A high-pitched, happy voice answered.
“Hey, C. Denise is on the phone too,” Cooley replied.
“Hey, Dee. What's going on?” Carmen sat down on her couch next to Nic. She put the phone on speaker, so Nic could listen.
“Look, we have something to tell you, but you gotta promise not to get mad at us,” Cooley replied, while rocking back and forth in her chair.
“Oh my God, what?” Carmen's face dropped. “You better not be calling to tell me you bitches are missing my birthday.”
“C, we're sorry, but we have to work,” Cooley tried to sound upset.
“We're really sorry, C. We were going to try to come, but Farih and I both have to be in ATL for Fashion Frenzy. We both have gigs all week, and that weekend is when we are really busy.”
“Are you trying to make me shoot myself!” Carmen's happy voice was gone. “Damn, I don't ask for much. All I asked was that my best fucking friends take one weekend out of hanging out with supermodels and rock stars and come see me.”
“Carmen.”
“This is really fucked up. I had things planned, you know. Ugh. I can't believe y'all are doing this to me.”
“Nic, are you there?” Denise's voice echoed through the speaker phone.
Carmen tossed the phone to Nic.
“Yeah, I'm here,” Nic said, holding the phone up.
“When Carmen calms down, can you tell her that since we can't be there with her, we thought it would be a great idea if you two came here with us,” Cooley smiled.
“Yeah, all expenses paid by us.”
Denise and Farih both grinned.
Carmen looked at Nic. Her frown turned into a smile. Nic handed her the phone.
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.” Denise said. “Hold on. Farih wants to say something.”
Farih leaned toward the phone. “Hi, Carmen.”
“Hey, girl!” Carmen squealed, trying to hold back her excitement.
“I'm sorry that we can't make it to Memphis, but I also wanted to throw in All-Access passes to Fashion Frenzy for you two as well.”
“Oh my God! Are you serious?” Carmen started bouncing up and down.
Nic just smiled.
“Yes, I've heard so much about you. I can't wait to meet the infamous Carmen.” Farih looked at Denise and smiled.
“I can't wait to meet you either. I'm so excited. Thank you, guys. But you are soooo wrong for doing that to me.”
Denise and Cooley laughed.
“You didn't really think we would do that to you on your birthday,” Denise added.
“Well, I don't know. Y'all all superstars now. You may have forgotten all about little ole Carmen.”
“Girl, if you don't shut that shit up,” Cooley interjected.
Carmen blew a kiss into the phone.
“Thanks, guys. I can't wait to see you both.”
“All right, well, we have to go, but see you next weekend,” Denise said.
“OK.”
When they hung up, Carmen looked at Nic and squealed. “I have to get my hair and nails done, you do know that, don't you?” She jumped up. “And, baby. What am I gonna wear?”
“Try not to spend all of our money, honey.” Nic flashed a smile at Carmen.
“I won't. Oh, baby.” Carmen sat back down and snuggled into Nic's arms. She was overjoyed. “We're going to Fashion Frenzy in Atlanta. With our friends. All-Access! Do you know what that means? I wonder who we will see. Oh, man!”
Nic started laughing. “Girl, you're gonna bust!”
“I know, right.” Carmen had to laugh at herself. “Know what, Nic?”
Nic looked lovingly at Carmen's beaming face. “What is it ,sweetie?”
“We really have some terrific friends, and I am really proud of them. And of us.” She snuggled in a little closer to Nic, who took her cue and wrapped her arms around Carmen. “We have all come through some adversity, but look how far we have come.”
“I know. You are right. And we always have to remember just how lucky we are.”
“And how blessed.”
“That's one of the things I love about you.” Nic leaned in and passionately kissed Carmen's full, expectant mouth. She reached down and pulled one of Carmen's thick thighs over her leg and pulled her closer.
Carmen responded and lifted herself up to straddle Nic. She pressed her body close as Nic lowered her face into Carmen's breasts.
“You know you're gonna miss the stores if you stay here, right?”
“They'll be there tomorrow.” Carmen lifted Nic's hands to massage her breasts.
Nic gladly obliged and moved her face in to take a nipple through the thin fabric of her silk shirt.
“Right now, I have some celebrating to do with you. And I am pretty sure it's going to take all night.”
“I kind of hoped you would say that.” Nic lifted the hem of Carmen's shirt and buried her face between the two large melons, taking first one nipple then the other into her mouth.
“Mmmmmm. Start the celebration, 'cause Lord, there sure is gonna be fireworks up in here.” Carmen laughed.
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The wall was Lena's new favorite thing. She lay on her back on her couch staring at her wall. John Mayer's “Dreaming of a Broken Heart” blared through her sound system.
Lena knew she was a wreck. Terrin had missed three days of work watching over her. She finally convinced Terrin that she would be all right so she wouldn't miss any more work. She was starting to regret that decision.
Lena called her mother over and over, but never got an answer. She left countless messages until the message box was full. She had broken her mother's heart, which hurt more than anything.
Lena stared at the ceiling, thinking. She tried to pinpoint where things went wrong. Denise, Brandon, and now her own mother, she couldn't seem to stop hurting the people she loved.
Lena turned over on her side.
Good Times
was playing on mute on her plasma. She picked the remote up and flipped the channels. Carrie Underwood's “Look at Me” began to play. Denise entered her mind. The lyrics brought tears to her eyes. She thought Denise was the one for her, but Denise had moved on and was happy.
Good Times
was playing on mute on her plasma. She picked the remote up and flipped the channels. Carrie Underwood's “Look at Me” began to play. Denise entered her mind. The lyrics brought tears to her eyes. She thought Denise was the one for her, but Denise had moved on and was happy.
Terrin appeared in her mind. She cared about Terrin more than she realized, but she couldn't shake the feelings she had for Denise.
A loud knock at her door caused her to jump. Lena sighed. She slowly got off the couch and walked to the door. Her strength was gone. She struggled to pull the big door open. She finally mustered up enough strength to open it. Nic's long ponytail hung down her back. She turned around and smiled.
“Hey, Lena, is this a bad time?” Nic looked down the hall.
“Oh no, come on in.” Lena stepped to the side, allowing Nic to walk in. She noticed the giddy appearance. Nic was fidgety, anxious about something.
Lena sat in a dining room chair. “So what's up?”
“Well, you know that Carmen was really bummed that Denise and Cooley couldn't make it for her birthday. Well, to make up for it, they are flying us in for that big fashion week in Atlanta.
“Fashion Frenzy, that's awesome. I hope you two have fun.” Lena put her arm on the table.
“Well, see, that's the thing. I really was hoping that you and Terrin would make the trip too. I really wanted everyone to be there, becauseâ”
Nic put her hands in her pockets, pulled out a little black box, and sat it on the table. “I'm going to ask Carmen to marry me.”
Lena's eyes bulged, she shook her head. “Oh my God. Nic, that's great!” Lena squealed as she hugged Nic's slender frame. “But I don't think that's such a good idea that I come.”
More depressing music played from her speakers. Nic looked around the room. She looked at Lena's sullen demeanor. Nic's smile faded slowly. She sat down in the chair next to Lena.
“Lena, what's going on here? Are you all right?”
Tears began to form in Lena's eyes. “Not really.”
Nic held Lena's hand. “What's going on? Talk to me.”
Lena raised her head. “My mom caught me with Terrin, and she's not talking to me.” Lena cried. Nic rubbed her hand. “And as much as I like Terrin, I can't get over my feelings for Denise.”
“Oh, come here.” Nic extended her arms. Lena embraced Nic. “Lena, it's going to be OK. Your mom will talk to you. Just give her a little time to get over the initial shock of things.”
“Everything in my life is so fucked up. As much as I would want to be there for you and Carmen, I don't know if I could face Denise and her girlfriend.” Lena sat up. She wiped the tears from her eyes.
“Lena, I know everything seems to be messed up, but trust me, everything happens for a reason. Think about Carmen and me. She left me for Tameka, remember?” Nic rolled her eyes, thinking about Carmen's ex, who she broke up with Nic for their junior year. “But like the saying goes, if something is meant to be, it will be.”
“I feel so bad. I have Terrin here, and I can't give her my all because of Denise. It's like I continue to wonder what if? What if I would have just done right by Denise to begin with? Then the way we ended. I have so many thoughts, so many questions.”
Nic looked Lena in her eyes. “Well, there is the problem. You have unfinished business with Denise. It's not that you don't want Terrin, and you might not really want Denise. But until you get closure, you won't be able to truly give yourself to anyone else.”
“You really think so?”
Nic nodded her head. “I think about Carmen and Tameka. When Carmen finally got the closure that she needed she was a completely different woman.”
Lena looked at Nic's sincere face. She thought about the way things ended with Denise. Denise wasn't in her normal state of mind.
“But what if I go and I don't get the answers that I want?”
“It's not about getting the answers that you want. It's about getting the answers that you need. They might not be what you want to hear, but once you know the truth, you will have to take the next steps from there.”
Nic stood up. She placed the little black box back in her pocket. Lena stood up as well.
“I really want you to be there, it wouldn't be the same if you didn't come. You are Carmen's best girlfriend, and we owe a lot to you. Bring Terrin if it will make it better.”
“It would be nice to try to go see my parents, talk things out with them.”
Nic smiled. “See, it seems to me there are a lot of things calling you to Atlanta.” Nic winked.
Lena smiled for the first time in a week.
“Nic, I'm really happy that you didn't give up on Carmen. You are really great together. I wouldn't miss it for the world.” Lena hugged Nic.
“Thanks, Lena. And, remember, things will work out in the end. I'm sure of it.”
Lena closed the door with ease when Nic left. She could feel her depression lifting. She had more important things to do besides moping around. Lena stopped at the mirror on the wall. She looked at her face.
“OK, Lena, this is it.” Lena pulled her hair out of the frazzled ponytail. “Lena, you have let yourself go.” She checked the split ends on her hair. “You look like crap.” She turned to the side. She felt on her stomach. “And you're looking bloated. Well, it is time for”âLena's eyes widened. She jerked her neck around so fast, she could have gotten whiplash. Lena ran to her purse. She pulled her calendar out and gasped.
“Shit. I'm late.”
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