Crazy Little Thing (32 page)

Fontaine came tap, tap, tapping on my door. “How are you doing? I’ve been downstairs plotting. I have some money saved up. It’s all yours if you want to hire a hit man.”

His words snapped at me like a rubber band on the wrist.

“I’m pissed, Fontaine. I’m so pissed I can’t even think straight! How dare he?”

“I know! The custody thing seems nonnegotiable,” he said. “I mean, between his work schedule and womanizing, he hardly has time to see them now.” Fontaine stepped over to my closet and started sorting through the clothes out of pure habit.

I punched at a pillow on my bed. I knew it was childish, but I didn’t care. “Not once! Not once during the entire year of divorce proceedings did he mention joint custody. It doesn’t make sense why he wants that now.”

“Do you suppose he misses them?” Fontaine leaned against the closet doorframe.

I huffed in disgust. “I don’t care if he misses them! He never spent any time with them when we were married, but he wants them now? What the fuck?”

Fontaine looked down at his well-trimmed nails. “I’m sorry I’m a part of this. You’ve never admitted it, but I know he doesn’t like me being here. I’m really sorry.”

I hopped off the bed and hugged my cousin tightly. “That’s stupid. You don’t have to be sorry for anything. You have been fantastic with the kids and they adore you. Not to mention that you’re more discreet than Dody. She’s the one who wanders around in her underwear. She’s probably what he’s referring to.”

Fontaine’s smile was wan. “Maybe. But I can move back to my house, if you think it’ll help.”

“Don’t you dare. I need you more now than ever. Besides, I’ll be moving back to Glenville soon. Maybe this is a sign I should go now.”

“I think it’s a sign you should move here.”

I looked the other way. “You sound like Dody and her psychic.” And Penny. And my heart.

“Can’t help it. I want to pimp your organizational skills to all my clients and make a ton of money off you. Have you talked to Des?”

“No. He’s at work.”

“I mean about moving here.”

Oh. That. I shook my head. “I’m not sure what I’d say. We haven’t made any future plans together, you know?”

“But there’s a chance he could stay here, right? Isn’t that what the recruiter woman was all about?”

I nodded. “I’ve wondered about that, honestly. But Des hasn’t brought it up and I didn’t want to be presumptuous. Besides, there’s no sense in scaring him out of town before I’ve decided what I’m going to do.”

Fontaine rolled his eyes. “He’s a smitten kitten, you big dope. Tell him how you feel before he signs up for some job in Nova Scotia.”

“Let me deal with this Richard thing first, OK? Then I’ll figure out what to tell Des.”

Des texted me later, saying he could come over for dinner but had work stuff to deal with after that and had an early shift in the morning.

When he arrived, Beth was already there, helping Jasper in the kitchen. The kids were playing Monopoly with Fontaine and me, and Dody was gambling online. Des looked scruffy and exhausted. I knew the minute I saw him that tonight was not the time to dump my Richard woes on his shoulders. We could talk tomorrow. After Des rested, he’d be sympathetic and loving and give me all the support I needed.

Paige ran to him as usual. “Hi, Des. Hey, you’ve got style, just like Fontaine.”

“What?”

She reached up toward his chin. “Whiskers.”

“Oh, yeah,” he said absently.

Jordan brought him a freshly colored picture.

“Thanks. Is that a...cow?” Des asked.

Jordan shook his head. “It’s a rocket.”

Des turned the picture, looking at it from another angle.

“It’s very modern.” I tried to lean in for a kiss, but he held up his hand.

“You don’t want to get too close to these clothes. I didn’t dare go home to change or I’d fall asleep.”

A twinge of tension radiated between us. Something was off balance, and it wasn’t just my anxiety over Richard’s letter. I wondered if Des had gotten more news of his ex-wife. Maybe her baby had been born? I couldn’t read him and didn’t dare make any guesses. I’d been so off-kilter all afternoon I couldn’t be sure of anything, except I was glad he was there.

“Come and eat!” Jasper called from the dining room.

Like a herd of noisy buffalo, we gathered around the table. Dody sat at one end, sassy in a red leather vest that Uncle Walter had bought at a Liza Minnelli charity auction. Paige and Jordan flanked Des, leaving me to sit across from him. Fontaine and Beth sat on either side of Jasper at the other end.

“I want to move up my birthday party,” Dody announced once everyone had loaded their plates and started eating.

“Why? These carrots have ginger butter, by the way,” Jasper said, passing the bowl to his left.

“I’d like Harry to be there, and he’ll be out of town for my actual birthday.”

“I thought you weren’t that interested in Harry since you found out he’s afraid of heights,” Fontaine said, popping a piece of broccoli in his mouth.

Dody shook her head, her jewel-encrusted headband catching the light. “I can’t hold that against him. I was surprised is all. I’d made arrangements for us to go sky diving and then he wouldn’t do it.”

“Remind me to thank him for that! Honestly, Mom. Can’t you slow down?” Jasper said.

“Why should I? I don’t have much time left.”

Des dropped his fork with a loud clatter.

All eyes went to him, and his cheeks flushed. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

Jordan picked it up and handed it back.

“I mean, who knows how much time any of us have left, right?” Dody said. “In fact, just the other day Anita Parker spilled hot coffee in her car and nearly drove to her death right off the parkway bridge.”

“That’s morbid, Mom.”

“It’s just practical. People die every day, so none of us should waste one little minute. I, for one, am going to kick up my heels while I’ve got some kick left.” She stuffed a forkful of noodles into her mouth. “I was thinking the second weekend of August for the party.”

“Mom, that’s in ten days,” Fontaine sputtered. “I can’t pull everything together in ten days, even if we could get the invitations out tomorrow. That doesn’t give people enough time.”

“If they can’t come, then they can’t come. But everyone loves my birthday parties, so I’m sure they’ll try. We don’t have to do anything too fancy. You and Sadie buy a few supplies and Jasper can make a cake. What else is there to do?”

“We need a theme! There’s decorations, music, seating. We can’t do something ordinary. People have expectations when they come to one of my parties.” Fontaine was not going for it, but Dody was insistent.

“It’s my party and if you don’t have the time, then I can plan it myself.” She took a bite of salad.

“Nobody wants you to plan your own party, Dody,” I said. “It’s short notice is all.”

“Well, I should get to have it when I want it. Shouldn’t I, Des?”

Des was bringing his fork to his mouth in rapid bites. Now he glared up at Dody as if her question insulted him.

“It doesn’t matter what I think, Dody. This is your decision.” He went back to shoveling in the food. He was acting so odd. He must be really exhausted.

Dody gazed at him for a second, an odd expression passing over her face but disappearing as soon as it came, making me wonder if I’d seen it at all. She turned to Jasper. “You can take care of the food, can’t you?”

“Um, I guess. I’ll have to take the night off work.”

“I’ll help too with whatever anybody needs,” Beth said.

Dody smiled and patted Beth’s hand. “Thank you, dear. Now, see? It’s all settled.”

“Nothing is settled!” Fontaine barked, pushing his plate away.

Jasper chuckled. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Tim.”

Fontaine huffed and crossed his arms. “Puh-leeze don’t call me that. You know I hate that name.”

“Why is that, Fontaine?” Beth asked innocently. “Tim is such a nice name.”

Jasper chuckled again.

“It’s not funny!” Fontaine scowled like an angry kitten.

“It’s a little funny,” Jasper contradicted, nodding.

It was a little funny. We all agreed.

Fontaine puffed out his bottom lip in a pout, and Jasper kept talking, explaining to Beth. “You see, when Fontaine was little, he was, like, freaky petite little. So when he was about ten...”

Fontaine jabbed him with an elbow. “I was eight!”

Jasper laughed. “OK, when he was eight, he sprained his ankle, and he had to go to school using this old crutch Mom had saved, right? This tiny little wooden crutch.” Jasper gestured with his hands, demonstrating the tininess and doubling over with laughter.

I bit back my own smile.

“So the kids at school started calling him Tiny Tim. Everywhere he went, they were all, like, ‘God bless us, every one. It’s Tiny Tim. Bah, humbug.’ And it stuck. For years they called him that. Tiny Tim!”

Murmurs of laughter circled the table. Even Fontaine’s lips twitched, and he took over the story from there. “But when I switched to a new school in seventh grade, I told everybody my name was Fontaine.”

“Thinking they would tease you less for that?” Des’s doubt was genuine.

Fontaine had the audacity to look smug at his own cleverness. “I told my classmates I was working undercover with the FBI, trying to bust up gangs and organized cheating and stuff. Remember, those were the
21 Jump Street
days.” Fontaine finally smiled.

“That’s not the best part, though,” Jasper interrupted, thumping his hand down on the table. “Tell them how you sprained your ankle in the first place. Really, this is the best part.” He could barely contain his amusement.

Fontaine’s smile broadened. “I fell down the stairs trying to walk in Mom’s stilettos.”

Dody smiled at him lovingly as we erupted with laughter. “I should have known right then.”

As Beth and I cleared the dinner dishes, Dody and Des went out on the deck. Watching them through the window, I could see they were having more than a frivolous exchange. Des’s hands were clenched as he leaned toward Dody. She looked all feisty too, with her hands on her hips and her jaw firm. Uncle Walter would say she had her Irish up. Whatever Des was selling, she wasn’t buying.

“What are they talking about?” Beth asked, coming up behind me.

“I don’t know. He’s been strange all night. I think I’ll find out what’s going on.” I went on the deck to find Des rubbing his temples with both hands.

“You can’t put me in the middle of this, Dody. It’s not fair to anybody.”

Their conversation stopped abruptly when I appeared. They looked guilty, like my kids when I find them hiding in the closet with a bag of cookies.

“Put you in the middle of what?” I asked.

Des’s face went blank. “I didn’t like how she put me on the spot about her birthday party.”

“Seriously?” That bothered him more than when she asked if he was circumcised? Or how old he was when he lost his virginity? This birthday party thing seemed pretty minor compared to that.

“Yeah, well, it’s not my call to make. Listen, I’ve got an early shift in the morning and I’m beat. I’m going to head on home, OK?”

“I’ll let you two say good night.” Dody put her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry we disagree on this, Des.”

“Yeah. Good night, Dody.”

She went inside. The uneasiness stewing in me all evening began to bubble faster. This was not about her birthday party. And it wasn’t about being tired. After last week, I thought we were past keeping secrets. Plus I was desperate to talk to him about Richard, but that would definitely have to wait.

“I’m sorry if she’s bugging you.”

“Look, I’m just...tired, OK? I’ve got lots of work stuff going on and I can’t make decisions for her.”

“Decisions for her?”

He hugged me fast and stepped away. “Never mind. I’ll try to call you tomorrow, OK?” He practically sprinted through the house and out the front door, waving silently to everyone in the family room.

I went inside feeling queasy and needing answers. I found Dody standing near the dining-room table, staring at nothing.

“Dody, what the hell was that about? And don’t try to pretend it’s about your birthday. Something else is going on.”