Crazy Little Thing (14 page)

The hardest things to tolerate at Dody’s place (besides the awful decor, lousy mattresses, and obnoxious dogs) were the complete lack of privacy and the constant noise. Either Dody and her friends were practicing tai chi on the deck or Fontaine was in my face pestering me about something. Or Jasper was clanging pots around in the kitchen. It was always something.

The times I’d taken the kids to visit Richard in Glenville, I stayed at my own house and reveled in the silence. I didn’t even mind that none of my neighbors were ever available to get together during those weekends because I craved the solitude. So tonight, I wanted to relax in lovely aloneness.

“Mommy, can we go downstairs and say good night to Aunt Dody?” Paige asked.

I hesitated. The bedtime process with my kids was often long and arduous, with lots of good-night kisses and books to read and pleasant dreams to be wished upon. But Paige turned her big, sweet eyes on me, and I gave in.

“Sure, but let’s make it quick.”

She and Jordan scampered down the stairs and I followed.

“Hi, Des!” I heard Paige exclaim. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to say thanks to your mum. Did you get the yogurt out of your hair?”

Had I been a half step farther behind I could’ve turned around and snuck back to my room to change clothes, or at least brush my hair. But destiny, as usual, had other plans. When I heard Des’s voice, my wet foot slipped on the step and I tumbled ass over teacup and landed with a thud at the bottom of the staircase.

Birds chirped in little circles around my head, and strong arms helped me upright. I must have been hallucinating.

The fog cleared, and everyone’s face came into focus, with Des’s the closest to mine.

“Are you OK?” he asked.

“I’m OK. I just slipped.”

“I hope you won the contest,” said Fontaine.

“What contest?” I was still a bit off balance.

“The wet T-shirt contest.”

I looked down. My white tank top, completely soaked with bath water, was virtually transparent. Adding insult to my injury, I was wearing the bra Penny bought me as a joke. The one decorated with little red ladybugs in an attempt to help me overcome my irrational fear of little red ladybugs.

Chuckles rippled around the room.

I plucked the fabric away from my skin, triggering a questionable suction sound.

It’s not as if it was the first time I’d made a fool of myself. Not likely the last, either.

“Are you sure you’re OK? Can you stand up?” Des’s hands were still on my arm, and I let him help me to my feet.

Mustering as much dignity as the occasion allowed, I said, “I just need to change my shirt.”

I came back downstairs in the most opaque T-shirt I could find. Everyone had moved outside to have drinks on the deck. Des was leaning against the rail, a beer in his hand. Fontaine and Kyle were next to him. The gorgeous blonde next to Jasper must be Beth. And the stout, flush-faced man next to Dody must be her date.

“I’m back,” I announced, mostly to warn them to stop talking about me.

“Here she is,” Dody said, clapping her hands. “Bud, this is my niece, Sadie. Sadie, this is my friend, Bud Light.”

He flicked a toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other. “Bud Wright,” he corrected.

I shook Mr. Wright’s meaty hand. “Nice to meet you, Bud.”

He looked me over. “You the divorcée?”

I had little choice but to say, “Yes.”

He nodded. “Sounds like you did the right thing.” Discussing the failure of my marriage with this complete stranger fell low on my list of desires. I certainly wasn’t going to pursue the topic in front of Kyle or Beth. And certainly not in front of Des! I tossed a pleading glance in Fontaine’s direction.
Help me, please!

He picked up on my SOS. “Um, hey, Sade,” he said, turning his back, “do these jeans give me a Ken-doll butt?”

Not quite the rescue I was looking for, but good enough.

Jasper stepped in front of him, tugging his girlfriend by the wrist. “Sadie, this is Beth.”

Thank goodness! A useful distraction. “Beth! It’s great to finally meet you. Jasper has told me so many wonderful things.” I hugged her with too much enthusiasm, my voice going dolphin squeaky. Guilt over my less-than-thrilled response to Jasper’s talk of marriage was foremost in my mind, with my tumble down the steps pushing hard from second place.

“It’s great to meet you too. Your children are adorable.”

“Thank you. That’s sweet of you to say. And that reminds me, kids, time for bed!” I looked around and saw them scurry from the living room into the kitchen and try to hide behind Dody’s row of aprons hanging from the wall.

“Sadie, dear, I’ll tuck them in for you. You don’t mind waiting a few more minutes, do you, Bud?” Dody asked.

He held up his nearly empty glass. “Not if somebody will freshen this drink. But don’t take too long, Do. I’m so hungry I could eat the ass end of a baby.”

Dody’s Mr. Wright had a colorful way about him.

“Come along, kids,” Dody said, herding them from the kitchen to the stairs. She caught my eye and tipped her head in Des’s direction. Subtle as a brick to the skull, that old lady was.

“I’ll freshen that,” Fontaine said to Bud, taking the glass from his hand. “How about you, Des? Need another beer?”

“Sure.”

Paige darted away from Dody and ran to Des, flinging her arms around his waist, coming perilously close to boy parts I didn’t want her near until she was at least thirty-five.

“Good night, Des.”

He ruffled her hair. “Night, Paige. See you soon.”

Jordan approached as well, handing Des two action figures. “Here. You can play with these if you want to.”

Des looked them over and offered my son a solemn fist bump. “Thanks, man. I’ll be careful with them.”

Jordan nodded.

My heart went ping. And then pong. Jordan did not trust easily. And he never shared his action figures, not even with me. As glad as I was to see it, I wasn’t completely comfortable with it either. What if Des started to mean something to Jordan? I could protect myself from getting hurt, but my son’s feelings were another thing entirely.

I needed to be clear to everyone present I was not interested in this man. I must show them all how impervious I was to Des’s charm. Because I was, you know, impervious. In fact, I hardly noticed how the blue of his shirt made his eyes turn a mystical shade of grayish green or that his nose was a little sunburned. I hadn’t noticed his haircut either. But if I had, I might have thought that shorter hair made his ears seem a bit too big. Yes, it’s true. He wasn’t so perfect. Those were some damn big ears. But then he caught me staring and smiled, from ear to damn big ear, making me feel as vulnerable and exposed as I had been wearing the wet tank top.

Why was he even here, really? Just to say thank you because I signed for some silly little package? He could have called on the phone for that. If I didn’t know better, I would think he was flirting. And I didn’t want him to.

So what if Dody, Fontaine, and Penny all thought I should dive into his bed. It didn’t cost them anything, tossing me into the treacherous sea of love with the albatross of loneliness strung around my neck. It wouldn’t be their heart getting broken when he turned out to be just another jerky guy. Or secretly engaged to some nuclear-physicist brainiac who put herself through brainiac-physicist university by modeling lingerie in Paris.

Fontaine came back to the deck, passing out drinks. He handed me something pink that looked harmless enough, but I knew better. He wanted me tipsy, just to see what might happen next. I was a notorious lightweight when it came to liquor. I could handle gallons of wine, but two shots of vodka and I was down for the count.

Everyone took seats around the deck. Kyle and Fontaine sat with Bud on one side, Jasper and Beth sat on the other. Des settled on the wicker couch and smiled at me. He patted the spot next to him. Like Fontaine’s drink, sitting next to Des was sure to be intoxicating.

I was powerless to resist. He was obviously using Jedi mind control.
Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi!
I took a gulp of Fontaine’s love potion and sat down.

“Thanks for handling my package this morning,” Des said without guile.

“What!” Fontaine burst out. “Sadie handled your package? Why the hell am I just hearing about this now?”

“Shut up, Fontaine,” I mumbled under the laughter.

Des blushed, realizing what he’d said. “Sorry. That’s not what I meant.”

We both took a drink.

“Hey, just out of curiosity,” Des asked a second later, “why did you move that table in the entryway?”

“You noticed that, huh?”

“Did you think I wouldn’t?”

Richard wouldn’t have noticed if I moved a couch. “It was in the wrong place. The entryway is much more welcoming with the table where I put it. But you can put it back if you want to.”

“I don’t really care,” he shrugged. “I just wondered why you moved it.”

The sun sank lower, casting a magical gold coating over everything. A fresh breeze over the water cooled the hot deck, and the sound of waves was hypnotic. Fontaine’s cocktails were taking effect, and a lovely, jovial mood enveloped us. Dody came back from putting the kids to bed, and she and Bud went on their way, leaving me with Des, Fontaine, Kyle, Jasper, and Beth.

“We could just get pizza and chill out here,” Jasper said to Beth. “Unless you want to go to that movie.”

She shook her head. “It’s too nice a night to be inside. Let’s stay here.”

There went my evening of peace and solitude. Des’s arm brushed against me, and suddenly a night alone didn’t sound that fun anymore anyway.

“What do you think, Kyle? You want to stick around here too?” Fontaine asked.

Kyle looked at his drink. “Will you make some more of these little devils?”

“Sure.”

“Then I’m staying.”

And so it was. We ordered pizza and kept the drinks flowing. Beth turned out to be warm and funny and a perfect complement to Jasper’s snappy commentary. I also began to suspect that Kyle had a crush on Fontaine. But then again, I’d once thought Kyle was hitting on me, so maybe I just couldn’t read him very well. Nonetheless, Kyle’s sense of humor made me laugh until I snorted, a sound which I had never planned to share with Des.

Someone decided we should take turns telling the worst jokes we knew, and whoever laughed had to take a drink. Trying
not
to laugh can make even the most moronic joke funny, so when Des asked, “What did the Englishman say to the Scotsman?” and then answered, “Would it have kilt you to put on some pants?” every one of us had to drink.

“We should play I Never,” Jasper suggested once the joke game got old.

“What’s that?” Des asked.

“You’ve never heard of I Never? Where did you go to college?” Jasper demanded, amazed at this failure of our educational system.

Des shrugged. “Just...Massachusetts.”

“Massachusetts? As in Harvard?” Fontaine asked.

Des scratched the back of his head, “Yeah.”

Of course he went to Harvard. Where else would a sexy, shmexy, accent-talking doctor go? I heard the question in my head and wondered if it was Fontaine’s drink talking. Anyway, what difference did it make if Des went to Harvard? It didn’t matter if he went to college on the frickin’ moon. I wasn’t interested.

“Where’d you go to medical school?” Fontaine prodded. He just couldn’t let it go.

“Still Harvard. I managed to not get kicked out. So how do you play this game?” Des rubbed his hands together.

I found myself smiling at him. He looked like a kid, all giddy about some silly game. This was a Harvard man, huh? Des was ever a surprise to me. I mean, in spite of the Ivy League college and his heartthrob good looks and the cool job, he seemed like one of us. He didn’t constantly brag as Richard always had. In fact, Des never bragged at all. And he could have if he’d wanted to. He had the goods. He had it all going on.

An idea began to take hold in the base of my slightly tipsy mind. Maybe Des was one of the good ones Penny had told me about?

“It’s pretty simple,” Jasper explained, interrupting my thoughts. “You say ‘I never’...and then you add something. Whoever has done whatever you said has to take a drink.”

“It’s a drinking game?” Des asked. He sounded optimistic.

“Didn’t you have drinking games at Harvard?”

“Oh, we had lots of drinking games.”

“Yes,” said Fontaine, “but they drank from snifters while wearing their ascots.”

Des shook his head. “Hardly. Let’s play.”

“Let me check on my kids first. I can’t have them overhearing this!”

Paige and Jordan were snug in their beds and loudly snoring, although I did have to remove a tiara from Paige’s head and turn Jordan around 180 degrees. He liked to sleep with his feet on the pillow.

I arrived back at the deck just as I heard the end of Jasper’s joke. “Rectum? Damn near killed him!”

I can only imagine how that one started.