Cowboy Gangster 02 - Gunnin' for Love (CMS) (MM) (2 page)

♦

The pup was wriggling around on the bed when Clint and Axel returned to the bedroom, each wearing just a towel. Axel smiled and picked him up, being careful with his ribs, then laughed when the pup lathered his face with ‘kisses’.

“He’s probably hungry, don’t you think?” Axel grinned and twisted his face away from the eager tongue. “And thirsty.”

Clint walked to his side of the bed and stared down at the mattress, a scowl pinching his face as he huffed. His hands clamped his hips where the towel hung low, sexily exposing his strong lower ab muscles and his glorious
happy trail
.

“What?” Axel stared at him. His pulse remained quickened from their activity in the shower.

Clearing his throat, Clint shook his head. “The little shit pissed on the bed.” He shot a glare at the pup. “In my spot, of course.”

Axel buried his face in the pup’s fur and chuckled quietly. “Probably because you wouldn’t let him cuddle with you.”

“Vindictive little cuss,” Clint muttered. He looked at Axel and the corner of his mouth twitched. “You are two of a kind.”

“What do you mean?” Axel tightened his lips against a smile as Clint approached.

“You’re both…” he leaned close and kissed Axel on the neck. “Brats.” The pup chuffed and playfully nipped Clint’s chin, instigating another scowl. “See what I mean?”

Axel laughed. “Ahh that means he likes you.”

“Mm-hm,” Clint looked doubtful. He smiled darkly. “So when
you
bite me…that means you like me?”

“It does,” Axel laughed softly. Clint stepped closer but he halted him with a palm to his chest. His fingers sizzled against Clint’s damp, heated skin. “Go get him some more lunch meat. And a small bowl of water.”

“I’m not sure I like the pecking order here,” Clint grumbled.

“Stop moaning.” Axel smirked and nudged him toward the door. “Now be a good boy and do as you’re told.”

“But I’m not a good boy.” Clint cocked one eyebrow. “I thought we established that.”

“Practice makes perfect.”

Clint leaned against his palm, his eyes heavy with want. “There’s other things I’d rather be perfecting.”

“No need.” Axel smiled and glanced away in a bashful manner. “You already do that perfectly.”

Chuckling softly, Clint stepped back. “For that, I will do as I’m told.”

Clint left the bedroom and Axel walked around to the other side of the bed. He smiled at the wet spot and clucked his tongue. “That wasn’t very nice of you,” he gently chided the pup, cooing softly. “Wetting daddy’s side of the bed.” A tickling sensation spiraled through his stomach and up into his chest, causing his pulse to quicken.
His side of the bed
. If filled him with warmth and happiness to imagine sleeping next to Clint every night, waking up to him each morning. He didn’t want to consider how this situation could coincide with who Clint was. Spending a weekend with someone was one thing…but rearranging their entire life?

He said he wanted to stay. That that was the one thing he wasn’t confused about. Take comfort in that.

“I will,” he whispered into the pup’s fur. He glanced at the window, the shades drawn, and thought about the man he’d seen down on the street last night. Surely it was as he’d told Clint –just a neighbor stepping out for a smoke. In the light of day, his fear and panic now seemed extremely irrational.

Clint returned a few minutes later with the bowl of water and a few more slices of ham. Axel waited for the pup to drink its fill then began feeding it bits of the meat. He looked up at Clint from where he knelt on the floor. “Do you think he’s well enough to go outside and go to the bathroom?”

Sighing, Clint smiled. “That depends. Do I have to take him?”

Axel rolled his eyes and laughed. “No. I’ll take him.”

“Then he should be fine.”

Axel grinned and shook his head.

Sinking to his heels beside Axel, Clint scratched the pup’s head. “So what are you going to name him?”

Axel had known what he wanted to call the pup the instant Clint had given him the dog. “Jonah,” he murmured.

“Jonah,” Clint nodded slowly. “Why Jonah?”

Leaving the pup to finish his breakfast, Axel stood up and Clint followed. “That was what Maddy named the other pup we had, that we didn’t get to keep.” He retrieved a clean pair of jeans and briefs from the bureau and began to dress.

Clint sat on the end of the bed and watched him with interest, making no move to get dressed himself. “Why did Maddy name him Jonah?”

His face warming a little, Axel fastened his pants and looked at Clint. For some reason, he felt embarrassed to tell him about his fascination with the Jonah Hex comics. But Clint was gazing at him expectantly. Axel shrugged and smiled sheepishly. “It was from a comic book. Jonah Hex.”

“Jonah Hex?” Clint shook his head. “Never heard of him.”

Axel frowned. “You never read comics when you were a kid?”

“No.”

“Ever?”

Clint stared at him. “No.” He cleared his throat. “So…was he a super hero or something?”

“Well,” Axel shrugged and grabbed a clean shirt from the dresser as well. “Not really. But…” he pulled the shirt over his head. “He was kind of my hero.”

Clint gazed at him. “So who was he? Why was he your hero?”

“I don’t know,” Axel mumbled and shrugged again, averting his eyes. “He was like…the vengeful spirit of a cowboy come back from the dead.”

Exhaling low, Clint murmured. “Interesting.” He looked at Axel inquisitively. “So why was he your hero? Seems like an unusual hero for a kid to have.”

Axel pursed his lips and gazed blankly at the floor. “I guess…I wished he would come and take vengeance on Wade and my dad,” he whispered. “I didn’t want one of the nice superheroes like Superman or Batman, because they just bring people to justice. And I didn’t want my dad and brother brought to justice. I just wanted them…” he raised his eyes slowly and met Clint’s stare. “Gone.” His throat tightened. “And I didn’t think the good ones would help me anyway, even if they did really exist. I liked Jonah Hex because he wasn’t all good, and he wouldn’t hesitate to do bad things to those who deserved it.” He looked down. “I used to pray that he was real and he would get rid of Wade and my dad, and…take me with him. Even if I had to go back to hell with him, I didn’t care.” He swallowed thickly and lifted his eyes again. “I was already in hell.”

Clint’s eyes flickered with emotion and he stood up. He went to Axel and gripped his waist, kissing him on the mouth. “A badass cowboy spirit with a vengeful chip on his shoulder,” he murmured against Axel’s lips. “I can appreciate that.” He smiled and kissed him again, then released him and began to dress.

His heartbeat rapid, Axel stared at him in mild shock as reality hit him hard and sudden while he watched his cowboy gangster pull on his jeans.

Sometimes prayers are answered.

♦

The jeans from last night had been laid aside, the belt still threaded through the loops. Clint watched discreetly to determine if Axel would remember to wear the belt –as Clint had instructed –before he took the pup outside. There was no hesitation, though, nor apparent lapse of memory on Axel’s part as he picked up the jeans and tugged the belt free. He rubbed his thumbs over the skull buckle, just staring at it for a moment, then looked at Clint. A shadow of uncertainty darkened his eyes.

“Are you sure you want to part with this?”

Clint cleared his throat. “Number one,” he said and approached Axel. “If I hadn’t been sure, I wouldn’t have given it to you.” He took the belt, as he’d done last night, and slowly worked it through the loops of Axel’s jeans. “And number two…” He fastened the buckle then cupped Axel’s face and kissed him lightly. “I’m not
really
parting with it. You –and hence, the belt –are right here with me.” He claimed a deeper kiss surging with warmth and passion. “And right here with me is where you’re going to stay.” He smiled and tugged at Axel’s lips with his own. “Am I right?”

Axel shivered pleasantly and leaned against him. “Yes.” He hugged Clint’s body and laid his head on his shoulder. Clint held him tight and kissed his hair, nuzzling his damp strands. The strong scent of shampoo filled his nostrils and he smiled as he recalled washing Axel’s hair. Strange how something so small and insignificant could fill him with such contentment and joy.

None of this made sense to him, and he didn’t have a fucking clue what was happening to him. But he had no will –nor desire –to resist it. He considered his life, before Axel. He didn’t remember feeling unsatisfied or unfulfilled…but maybe that was because he hadn’t allowed his heart to “feel” –period. And why he was doing so now –that was part of his confusion. He was sure Axel would forever remain a mystery to him. If he were given multiple lifetimes to figure the kid out, he didn’t think he could, even then. Axel consumed him, enraptured him…and that was just something he couldn’t explain.

“I love the belt,” Axel whispered and twisted his head, laying a kiss on Clint’s neck. He smiled and burrowed his face deeper into his throat as if he were embarrassed by what he was about to say. “It makes me feel like you’re holding me…even when you’re not.”

Clint liked that and hugged him tighter. “Good,” he murmured. “I want it to feel like that.”

“I wish I had something to give you,” Axel said quietly and rubbed his palm over Clint’s chest. “Something that makes you feel like I’m with you when we’re apart.”

Clint again nuzzled his hair and caressed his hands up Axel’s back, burying his fingers in his curled strands. “You do,” he breathed softly, inhaling the sweet scent of his hair. He kissed his head then released him and walked over to the nightstand where his handgun and knife lay in plain sight. He picked up the knife and removed it from its leather sheath and returned to Axel.

Casting him an uncertain, skeptical look, Axel informed Clint, “Some things aren’t meant to detach.”

A soft chuckle sifted up Clint’s throat. “Don’t worry, baby. I wouldn’t dream of debilitating you that way. Not a chance.”

Axel stared at the knife questioningly but, thankfully, without fear.

Moving closer, Clint slid his fingers through Axel’s hair and lifted a dark blond curl, slightly damp from their recent shower, and cut it loose with the knife. Tossing the knife on the bed, he slowly wrapped the strand of hair around his index finger then cupped Axel’s face and kissed him. “Now I have something.”

“My hair?”

Clint smiled and rubbed his lips across Axel’s mouth. “I love your hair.”

“But it’s so…wild and unruly,” Axel murmured.

Clint grinned against his lips. “Like you.”

Shaking his head, Axel smiled. “I’m hardly wild and unruly.”

“Oh really?” Clint whispered and kissed him firmly. “Shall I recap our shower activities?”

Axel groaned and pushed against him. “Not unless you want a full on play-by-play.”

“See what I mean?” Clint chuckled.

♦

“Grab your jacket.” Clint stuffed his feet into his boots and stood up from the edge of the bed. He picked up his handgun and retrieved the knife from where he’d tossed it onto the mattress, and sheathed it.

Axel cradled the pup in his arms and looked at Clint. “I’m just taking him outside for a minute.”

Clint held his gaze as he tucked the gun into the rear band of his jeans. “I would feel better if you came with me.”

“Where are you going?” Axel frowned. He had hoped Clint would just stay here at the apartment with him, at least for the weekend. The thought of spending all day in bed with the cowboy left him warm inside, his skin tingling with excitement.

“The club,” Clint said.

An instant knot formed in Axel’s gut. “The…Phoenix club?”

Clint nodded. “Sure as fuck don’t mean the Blue Grotto,” he grimaced.

“The what?” Axel frowned again. The Blue Grotto?

“Never mind,” Clint smiled. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

Not really interested in
that
club, Axel didn’t press for details. He adjusted the pup in his arms. “Why are you going to the Phoenix?” He tried to sound casual but failed miserably as his voice shook.

“I need to talk to Gabriel,” he said. “And pick up my jacket.”

“Your jacket is at the club?”

Clint nodded and Axel listened as Clint explained about the boy –Gavin –and his involvement with trying to save the pup. When Axel remained quiet, Clint looked at him, whether with amusement or uncertainty, Axel couldn’t quite tell. “You’re not jealous of the kid, are you?”

Jealous? Axel rubbed his lips together and shook his head. “I admire him for trying to protect the pup,” he said quietly. His gaze softened with affection. “And you…for saving them both.” He smiled. “You
are
a hero.”

Clint mumbled incoherently and shook his head, though a small smile tweaked the corner of his mouth. “Come on, let’s go.” He took out his cell. “I don’t have my car with me. We’ll have to take a cab.”

Axel waited for him to make his call and hang up. “Why do you drive a cab sometimes? It doesn’t really seem…you.”

Chuckling, Clint put his phone away. “As glamorous as the gangster life might seem, it can grow stagnate, even boring.” He looked at Axel and chuckled again. “The New York cabby gig is for my own amusement. New Yorkers are an interesting species.”

“I bet,” Axel murmured.

Clint’s mood shifted without much, if any, warning and he came closer, his fingertips brushing Axel’s face. A shadow of anguish darkened his eyes. “I was driving that night,” he whispered. “The night everything went down at your apartment.”

“What?” Axel’s stomach pinched at the memory.

“I picked up Maddy,” Clint spoke low. He trailed his fingertips down Axel’s neck. “I took him to the club. Maddy told them how to get to the apartment. I was…” he swallowed hard and his brow furrowed, pain churning in his stare. “I was right outside…waiting to see if Gabriel and the others needed my help.”

Clint didn’t have to say it directly for Axel to understand that he suffered a measure of guilt at the fact that he was right there the night Axel was raped –and did nothing. Clint wasn’t taking into consideration that he’d had no cause to come inside –the guys from the club were more than a match for Wade and Byrd and the others. But in hindsight –considering his and Axel’s current relationship –Clint was nevertheless feeling the guilt of standing idly by.

“You want to know something…kind of strange?” Axel moved closer and wrapped one arm around Clint’s waist. He kissed the base of his throat and said quietly, “Just knowing now, that you were there, so close…” he touched his brow to Clint’s chest. “…It takes away some of the horror of the memory.” He sniffed and hugged the pup gently between his and Clint’s bodies. “Is that crazy?”

Clint’s throat worked and he kissed Axel on the head as his arm went around Axel’s shoulders. “No,” he rasped. “Not crazy at all.”

Lifting his head, Axel gazed up at him. “See?” he breathed softly and smiled. “You were my hero even before I knew you.”

Clint dragged his fingers through Axel’s wavy strands and gripped his head, kissing his hair firmly. “The fuckers are gonna pay for what they did to you,” he whispered tightly, a rough edge to his voice. “If they think they’re safe behind bars…” he pressed his lips against Axel’s head. “They had better fucking think again.”

A shiver rushed through Axel at the thought of what Clint would do to Wade and the others when he got his hands on them. Not an unpleasant shiver. Not unpleasant at all.

♦

“Uncle Kane?” Zoe’s soft voice and light touch brought Kane out of his heavy, sludge-like slumber and to full consciousness. A consciousness that awaited him with a splitting headache. He rolled over and his face raked a thick cushion. His eyes opened with effort and he found himself staring at the back of the sofa. He hadn’t even made it to bed last night? Kane had no clear recollection of leaving the kitchen. The last thing he remembered was forcing down Jack Daniels and contemplating…

The memory somehow enhanced his headache and he groaned, covering his head with his arms. “Please tranquilize me,” he whimpered. “I think I have some shots in my carrying case.”

“I’m not going to tranquilize you, Uncle Kane.” He could “hear” the roll of her eyes. Her hand rested on his shoulder and concern thickened her voice. “Why do you do this to yourself? You hate drinking. What made you start drinking last night?”

Though he hated talking about “why” he occasionally tortured himself this way, he was glad that his and Zoe’s relationship was such that they could address anything and everything openly with one another. She understood his deep rooted guilt, though she consistently told him it was misplaced and that her father’s actions and choices were not his fault. He wondered if he could have even faced life if she had blamed him as much as he blamed himself.

“It was just…one of those nights,” he groaned and swore he felt his skull literally crack.
God, please kill me now.

“You’ve slacked off taking your B vitamins, haven’t you?” Zoe sighed. “You know it helps prevent this, when you have ‘one of those’ nights.”

Kane groaned louder. “Can you yell at me later, when my head isn’t crushing in on itself?”

“I’m not yelling, Uncle Kane,” Zoe pointed out. “I’m barely talking above a whisper.”

His jaw clenching and eyes squeezing tight, Kane twisted onto his back and he clutched his head. “I need drugs. Now.”

Zoe stood up from where she was crouched beside the sofa. “I’ll get you some aspirin.”

“Oxycodone. Demerol. Vicodin.” He clutched his head harder. “Crack cocaine –I don’t care.”

“
Aspirin
,” Zoe insisted and walked into the kitchen. She returned minutes later with a bottle of Bayer and a glass of water. She sat on the edge of the coffee table and popped off the lid of the aspirin bottle. “Seriously, Uncle Kane,” she said. “What made you drink last night?”

Kane propped up slowly, painfully and took the water then two pills. “You better leave the whole bottle,” he winced as another stab of pain ripped through his skull. He took the aspirin and chewed them before taking a drink of water.
Nasty shit
. He grimaced and downed more water. It seemed to have a speedier effect though when he chewed the tablets.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled, keeping his eyes closed. It intensified the pain to open them.
Normally
he could talk openly with Zoe about anything. But for once, the drinking wasn’t instigated by the past. Rather incidents much closer to the here and now.

Call me when you change your mind.
Why the hell was he letting that fucking Egyptian get under his skin?
Because he’s already been in your ass.
Kane winced again, this time from the unsettling –and slightly disturbing –thought. He’d been certain it was all over after their little rendezvous in the backseat of the SUV. Kane hadn’t expected to ever see the man again –except maybe a quick stop off to grab his wallet. Yet there he had been, waiting outside the vet office, and sure as shit not shy or hesitant about making his wants and desires known.

Zoe knew he’d been with someone, there was no way to tell her otherwise –she’d seen the evidence. And since he wasn’t dating anyone, she also had to know it was a spontaneous decision to fuck the guy –the very kind of decisions he tried desperately to steer her clear of. Even with her knowing all this –how could he discuss it with her? What was he supposed to say? That it was okay for him but not for her? That’s what you tell a
kid
–there are things adults can do that kids can’t. Maybe it isn’t always the best defense, but it remained true on many counts. But Zoe wasn’t a child. So the rules –however poor they were –didn’t apply to her.

Maybe if he admitted to it being a mistake, that he knew it was a mistake, and a mistake he didn’t plan to repeat –would that repair the damage he’d done to his own teachings? He didn’t know, but it was all he had to work with.

“Does it have anything to do with the hot mobster you, uh…had relations with?”

His eyes remained closed but he could hear the smirk in her voice. She was enjoying his infidelities way too much for comfort. “It was a mistake,” he whispered –to speak any louder made it feel like tiny grenades were being set off in his brain. “I shouldn’t have done it, and…” he swallowed thickly as his entire skull throbbed. “…I don’t intend to make the same mistake again.”

“Why was it a mistake?” Zoe asked. Before he could answer –it was taking him a moment between the pulsating agony in his head and trying to think of an infallible reason –Zoe went on to add, “And if you don’t intend to see him again…then why were you playing with his phone number on the kitchen table last night?”

There was no name written down with the number. How could she know it was “his” number? Perhaps he could fake ignorance and get away with it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he murmured. “I wasn’t playing with a phone number.”

“It looked pretty worn out to me,” she said. “Like maybe…you’d been running it back and forth between your fingers, perhaps…contemplating making a call?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He managed to open his eyes to bare slits.

“So you said.” She sighed and leaned forward, her elbows on her knees and chin propped in her palms. “Do you think
he
will buy that, though?”

“What?” Kane frowned.

Zoe smiled her little self-satisfied smile that always seemed to indicate she had won whatever discussion they were having. “Out of, uh…curiosity,” she smirked. “I checked your phone and…umm…”

“What?” Kane looked at her, eyes opening wider despite the pain it caused. His heart was suddenly pumping forcefully in his chest and intensifying the throbbing in his head.

A smug smile curved her lips. “Apparently, in your
inebriated
state…” she cocked an eyebrow. “…You sent a certain text to a certain number. And…” she stood up, moving out of his reach, her smug smile stretching into a grin. “…Well, considering what you said in that text…don’t be surprised if you get a surprise visit from a very horny mobster.”

“Zoe!” Kane growled and started to come up off the sofa then dropped back down, holding his head.

Zoe laughed and scooted off toward the kitchen. “A word to the wise, Uncle Kane –don’t drink and text!”

Kane whimpered in pain –mental as well as physical.
God, please just let her be fucking with me.