Authors: Sara Schoen
Camden left a little while ago for his date with his mystery girl. I was thankful to have the loft to myself. Once he was gone, it felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I enjoyed a sweet moment of relief. For the next few hours I didn’t have to focus on constantly living behind a cover. I didn’t have to worry about getting caught in a lie, or what the Russian would have said instead of what I wanted to say. For a short time I wasn’t dancing on eggshells, waiting for this charade to get me killed. These were the moments I could be myself, even though I wasn’t sure who that was anymore. I had become a different person while undercover. I hoped I would get out before I completely lost myself.
A heavy sigh escaped my lips before I flipped open the laptop computer Camden had left with me. I needed to find something Camden could pass off to Danielle for information, and hopefully get her away from him before it was too late. However, I didn’t know how to track a person down. That was André’s expertise, and he was very good at it. He had spent time working for the first few people who had inquired about the cartel’s investigative services, and done remarkably well. He had his targets in a matter of hours, even some who had changed names, gone through reconstructive surgery, or had been in hiding for years. The Cardozas kept him around, and that could be why. But it was also why I couldn’t ask him for help. He’d find out who I was in a few days if he was given half a chance, and I’d wake up with the barrel of a gun in my face.
Unsure how to start, I tried to think like André, suddenly wishing I had paid attention more when André discussed his job with me. I didn’t know what would make Danielle stop searching for me. I didn’t want to give her a death certificate because it would crush us both. I couldn’t lie to her, even though I knew everyone else thought I was dead already. A chance remained that I could see her when this mission was over, so I didn’t want to crush her. But maybe I could convince her I wasn’t coming back. If I could convince her that I had gone missing overseas, she may give up and assume I was dead like CIRA wanted. Either way, I would have to do it on my own because if I started asking questions, André would try to take over.
Then I’ll be dead.
There had to be a way out of this mission without getting caught. There was always a way out of a sticky situation. It took some finesse, but there had to be a way. There had been so much I wanted to do, and it didn’t include getting recruited into this agency no one knew existed. I wanted her to know I was alive, but I also wanted to stay and work with CIRA so that men like the Cardozas couldn’t hurt anyone else. Demon had once said when I finished this mission I could request whatever I wanted. Maybe I could request that she know about the agency, and then I could stay and she’d know I was alive. I had to get through this first. The computer finally booted up.
“Where to start?” I asked myself. “You used to waste all your time on social media, Danielle. So let’s try that.” I knew she had connected all of her social media accounts to her Facebook in high school, even though Mom had told her it was a bad idea, so it didn’t take long to find out what she had been up to in the last four years.
I found photos of us, mostly old ones from when we were kids. She had a few status updates about her life, most of them including a plea to continue looking for me. I felt a pang of sorrow sweep over me as I realized I hadn’t seen any of these people in years. It had been so long, everyone must have moved on by now. To them, I had died, and they wouldn’t waste their time to look for a dead man. Danielle hadn’t believed that. I couldn’t blame her, because if she had gone missing, I never would have stopped looking. She had to let go. I had to find a way to help her do that.
There were a few recent photos of people I remembered, including Natalie and Jamie. They had been best friends with Danielle since they were in elementary school, maybe preschool, I couldn’t remember. I was glad to see they were still inseparable even though they went to different schools, and lived in different towns now according to their accounts. I discovered Danielle had chosen Albany College, and I hoped the money from our parents’ deaths and the accident helped her make payments. It had to be difficult for her, especially with no one there to show her the way or help her through the hard times. I had my parents for most of my life, and they had taught me a lot, but Danielle hadn’t enjoyed the same time with them. I should have been there for her, but instead I had left her alone to deal with it on her own.
I pushed past those thoughts as I followed the links to her other accounts, until finding one that showed nothing but status updates. She seemed to update them every hour or so. I guess she never got over having internet on her phone, and being able to do everything from her phone no matter where she was. I scrolled through the first ones as she talked about studying for a science test. She always hated science. I scrolled through a few more until the website updated to tell me that she had just posted a new one.
Scrolling to the top, the newest update informed me she had finished getting ready for a date. She hoped it would go well, instead of ending like the last one. A few people commented, most I didn’t know, saying they were happy to see her going on a date. I saw Jamie’s comment telling Danielle to keep in touch with her so she wouldn’t worry. I guess Jamie had stepped up into the sibling and mom position to take care of Danielle after everything happened. I’m glad someone did. She needed someone to help her get through it. I continued to read Jamie’s comments, and other people’s responses, until I came across a familiar name. Cardoza. I felt as if my heart had stopped as I read over the comment again.
She’s on a date with Camden Cardoza
.
I felt anger boiling up. Camden had said he was on a date with another girl. I shouldn’t be surprised that he had lied, because he did it all the time. Though he didn’t usually lie to me. There were a few comments asking where they had met, how they met, why there weren’t photos so they could see what he looked like, but I didn’t read them all, nor the responses Jamie sent. I erased the history of the laptop, and shut it down before stepping over to the window to get some fresh air.
The partially open window offered a view over the street. There were a few people out, and the cool breeze helped some of my anger evaporate, but not all of it. I couldn’t believe she was on a date with Camden. I slammed my fist onto the wall, causing the window to shake due to the vibration. No wonder Camden had been so cautious about mentioning the girl. He didn’t want anyone to know he was seeing a client. How could Danielle be so careless to get mixed up with the Cardozas? I don’t care how it looked, they were bad news, and now Danielle has dragged herself into the middle of a fight between CIRA and a cartel. I just prayed she didn’t get caught in the crosshairs when the bullets started flying.
***
I had stayed up to talk to Camden about his date. There were a few questions I needed answered before I could sleep, but if he was any later I would fall asleep on the couch. I also needed to find a way to warn Danielle without damaging my chances of successfully completing this mission. I was about to give up waiting for him when he came home with a big goofy grin on his face. If he’d been a normal guy, someone who wasn’t about to become the leader of a cartel, I would have been happy for him. Though, right now, the only emotion I could work up was anger. I bit my tongue to prevent anything harsh from slipping out. I couldn’t let him suspect me.
“You look happy,” I observed, causing Camden to stop in his tracks. He must not have noticed I was still awake, waiting for him to come home. There had been a guard with him, but I hoped my late night appearance would just make me seem like a worried friend and nothing more.
“You waited for me. That’s touching,” Camden joked before rolling his eyes and taking a seat on the chair closest to me. If Camden hadn’t been the heir to a cartel, I could see him being a good friend. His demeanor reminded me of someone I once knew before I went into the Army, but I tended to not make friends with people who would order me killed for talking out of turn. “Her name is Danielle Reeves,” Camden said after a long hesitation.
“Isn’t that the girl whose brother I’m looking into?” I asked. “I didn’t find much on him, by the way. I’ll have to try a few other things after asking André for advice, but anyway, I thought you were dating some other girl. Danielle interrupted that date, right?”
“I was seeing someone else, and then I got interrupted by her asking me for help to find her brother.” Camden rubbed the back of his neck, as if embarrassed to talk about it. “I met her a few years ago, and took a chance, but she didn’t show. When she called again, I dropped the other girl, and this time it just worked out.”
“If she turned you down before, how did you get her to go out with you again?”
“I told her I would help look for him, and I wouldn’t charge her anything.”
I raised my eyebrows in shock. The fee was a hefty one, and for him to take the blow, that meant something. I started to tell him how much it impressed me, but he interrupted.
“I offered on the premise that she go on at least one date with me, since she skipped out on the last one,” he explained. “I was hoping that by doing that I could show her a great time. I knew when I first saw her that she was the one, and now I just have to get her to see it.”
My jaw clenched tightly as he spoke. I tried not to show my anger, but my teeth felt as if they were starting to crack under the pressure. He was using me to get to Danielle, and I could see the plan forming in his head. He would just keep saying he was looking for me so he could keep going out with her. I saw through his charade, but Danielle would be too blinded by hope to even consider he might be lying to her.
“The guy has been missing for four years, so it should take a while to find any relevant information,” he went on. “That just means I can take longer to look for it, giving her a little bit at a time to keep her around. She’s spent a lot of time looking for him on her own since their parents died when she was in high school. I’ll just take a while finding things, and when she forgets she’s only seeing me so that I look for her brother, then I can make her mine and take over the cartel like I’m supposed to.”
“And if she doesn’t forget?” I asked through clenched teeth.
“I’ll make something up, or I’ll get you to find something on the guy. It can’t be that hard.” Camden didn’t say anything after that. I wanted to tell him he couldn’t do this to her, that it would only hurt her more in the long run, but he wouldn’t care. Camden was just looking for someone tolerable so he could take over. He didn’t care whether or not he hurt her, and if I did tell him, I would end up revealing my identity, and I couldn’t do that.
I had to find a way to get her out of this. I needed to see Demon. I would have to leave something for him, and hope that he got back to me before I blew my cover and ruined years of hard work. Otherwise, I would only put more people in danger.
Camden had given most of the cartel members the day off so he could work with his father at the new base. I was told to take some time off after I
handled
a few people for him. Some of the cartel members had family members or friends who had been working in the compound the night the raid occurred. Camden said he wanted to give them a few days off in case feelings were still riding high even a few months after the raid. In the long run, Camden was a nice guy, showing respect for those who’d lost someone close to them, but I still didn’t trust him. I knew he had another objective. I just wasn’t sure what.
Shortly after joining the cartel, I learned each person had their own motives that only benefited them. They wanted to make sure if something went south they were taken care of, but they didn’t realize it was impossible to stay safe in this business. When someone joined the cartel, it was either out of loyalty or they had no other options, but either way there wasn’t a way out. If they tried to run, go to the police, or find another way to escape, they were dealt with permanently and I was typically the one to do it.
I had to take care of a few of the survivors, as well as some of the ones who’d run away. The deserters were handled first, taken care of swiftly. Person after person entered the warehouse, but none of them ever left. I felt a shiver race up my spine at the thought. I had to follow all the orders given to me to keep my cover, but did I have to kill innocent people? Yes, unless I wanted to be killed instead.
Here, every day was a fight for survival. Sometimes I barely made it, and it grew increasingly harder. The last few days had been hell for me. Danielle was constantly calling Camden to plan more dates, which meant soon he would need information on my old life. He’d have Danielle wrapped around his finger in no time. I needed to look for things in the cartel, then maybe I could get her out of this before she became too involved.
At least, I hoped I could. I took a deep breath, letting it take the stress with it as I exhaled. I couldn’t think about that now. I already had too much on my plate. I needed to clear my mind, so I decided to go for a run. The only way I had alone time was by running. Even while alone in the loft, there were other guards around. We didn’t mingle, but knowing they were there didn’t allow me to feel completely alone and only pressured me to keep my cover in case they noticed something out of character.
I retreated to the room I had been sleeping in since I’d been put on around the clock protection for Camden. Miguel thought it necessary after Camden had almost been killed in a weapons trade, and after the other agent had gotten close enough to them to blow them up. Camden hadn’t gotten along with the second in command of the Son Reyes Cartel, and soon the trade erupted into gunshots. I’m not sure how it had been resolved, but I knew a few people died and there was an uneasy agreement between the two cartels now that Camden swore to never go on another trade. It seemed as if it had all worked out.
Too bad nothing was as it seemed in the cartel world.
The deception would crumble, and they would realize they had been taken advantage of. That was standard living and working for the Cardozas. You had to watch your step and your own back, because you never knew just when the scene would shatter around you.
That’s why I needed to find an escape, to forget the horrible truth, and my own actions within the cartel, even just for a little while. Running helped clear my mind so I could refocus on the mission. But as soon as I began my run, my thoughts immediately returned to Danielle. She had no idea what these people were like, and if she recognized me she could blow my cover. I couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t recognize me, no matter what I did to my appearance, and that was out of my control. My facial structure, a strong jaw and lean face, hadn’t changed. I could only change the color of my eyes and hair, fake an accent, and regurgitate information from Marco’s file. If she blurted out my true identity, we would both die, unless she’d managed to wrap Camden around her finger like she typically did with people. Then she’d just have to watch
me
die.
There was nothing I could do about it now. Camden had a habit of blindsiding some members when their time came, including the survivors from the raid. Most of them had done nothing wrong, but they were a liability if they stuck around. I sprinted through my typical route, trying not to think about it. The wind seemed to blow away all other thoughts except for when to change my route. I always waited to veer off until I got far enough that the person Miguel had following me would be easier to lose. Since my recruitment to the cartel, he’d had someone tailing me. While with Camden, I was in the clear, but any other time, I was watched closely. I had gotten fairly good at vanishing, though, especially while on a run.
Having been a spy, and having been in militarized zones, paranoia made me more cautious, but it also kept me alive longer. Life expectancy for either job wasn’t the greatest, so I might as well expand on it as much as I could. Even if it meant looking over my shoulder as I ran through the park. There were a few people out. I had failed to take notice of the time before leaving the loft, but I had a feeling it was just past one since there were normally more people in the park in the morning. It was hotter this time of day, but everyone was busy elsewhere, providing a little more privacy. It also made it easier to keep an eye out for anyone who could be following me.
However, because there were so few people, it meant I couldn’t get lost in a crowd. Instead, I veered off my running path earlier than usual after taking in just how far back I’d left Miguel’s man. He was about half a mile back, a safe following distance, and not close enough that he would see where I was going. Once out of his sight, thanks to the thick trees and blind corner, I took the fork in the road and sprinted down the path. It would take him a while to realize I hadn’t taken the same path. I guess Miguel would have to order them to follow closer next time.
As I followed the path, which circled around a lake, I noticed someone else watching me. I had seen the silhouette earlier when I first left the building and chose to ignore it. That mistake could cost me. The figure was hidden behind the trees, and as I got closer it vanished. I didn’t slow down as I passed, but I didn’t see anyone.
Where did you go?
I glanced behind me when I heard someone call for their dog. The dog pulled its ears back and slowly returned to its owner. I looked around to see if I was still being tailed. I didn’t see anyone, but I knew they were out there. I scanned the park, focusing on the wooded areas as I reentered the thick foliage. The trees that lined the area provided the perfect cover for anyone who might be hiding.
I saw a shadow dart between the trees, but it didn’t stick around long enough for me to get a good look. All I had noticed was a tall, slender person with their head down. I guessed it was a woman, but I couldn’t be sure without getting a closer look. I didn’t see much hair, though, so it was either cut short or in a ponytail. For all I knew, it could be a young guy Miguel had sent. Had he realized I could get away from his older men?
I caught up to the figure, but when I got close, they seemed to have vanished again. I stopped running, glancing around. Whoever this person was, they had led me to a distant part of the running path, far from prying eyes.
“Listen very carefully,” a female voice said from behind me. I felt something, a lot like the barrel of a gun, pressed against my side. “Don’t turn around. Don’t try to look at me. Just walk straight, and don’t stop until you see me again. Demon wants to pass some information to you.” At the mention of Demon, I relaxed slightly. I nodded to tell her I had heard her before I started walking into the trees. The pressure on my side disappeared, and she crept off into the woods out of my line of sight. At least she was a friend. If Demon had sent her, she must be a part of CIRA. I was curious why she wouldn’t let me see her face, but I knew I’d learn eventually.
I made my way through the leaf clutter until I saw the figure leaning on a tree for support. She seemed to be waiting impatiently with her arms crossed, but it was hard to tell with the distance between us and the dark shadows covering her face. I could feel her eyes burning into me as I continued at my pace, and occasionally she glanced around to make sure no one else was there. When I had nearly reached her, she pushed off the tree and took a few steps back, staying hidden in the shadows and keeping her face shielded. I noticed the dark tint of her skin tone as she beckoned me closer. I glanced over my shoulder again. I didn’t see anyone else following me, and I hoped it stayed like that.
I had seen this move before. Demon always sent someone to make contact with me before a meeting and they followed a similar pattern. This was the first time one of them had held me at gunpoint, though. Usually they just waited for me to notice them and then found a way to call me over. I took one final look over my shoulder as I approached her, but when I turned back I didn’t see her anymore. Like usual, Demon had told her to find and stop me, then disappear with enough time to figure out what they had dropped off for me. It was usually a note with instructions, or sometimes a box of supplies, with black hair dye and color contacts, to keep up my appearance. I guess she didn’t want to talk. I would love to talk to someone I didn’t have to lie to all the time.
“It’s behind you,” the voice said from above me.
I looked up, but all I could see were leaves and thick branches. “You’re pretty good at hiding,” I said as I turned around to see a folded note under the tree she’d been standing next to. I picked up the scrap of paper and glanced up into the trees to try to catch a glimpse of her, but she was expertly camouflaged. If she didn’t want me to see her, then I wouldn’t.
I sighed before I quickly read the note. It didn’t bring good news like I’d hoped. All it said was that Demon wanted to meet tomorrow morning as soon as possible, in the wooded area around the lake. I was instructed to locate a natural dip in the landscape that would keep us concealed from anyone passing by. I was to ensure I wasn’t followed, and if I was, that I lost them before arriving. I didn’t like that a new person was coming into this.
Meet tomorrow, deep woods, new agent coming in, come alon
e
.
Demon was never one for conversation. He liked to get to the point, and then move on to the next matter at hand. Notes were never in full sentences, and never addressed to anyone in case someone else found it. It was the safest way at this point, and the only way we could be sure to keep my cover.
I dropped the note before continuing on my run. I changed my path slightly, hoping to lead whoever was following me away from the note, if they ever caught up to me. I didn’t need to worry about it, though. She would have retrieved the note. I just didn’t want to make her job harder on her by having a cartel member stumbling onto her. Although I couldn’t help but think that CIRA had made my job harder by bringing in another agent. My teeth clenched together in annoyance, and my hands balled into tight fists. I didn’t need another person. I could do this on my own, and they knew that. Something must have happened, they must have found something out that I wasn’t aware of. They needed another person to make their plan work, and that meant I would be done soon. Maybe it wasn’t all bad, but then again, I knew it wouldn’t be easy.