Country Love (A Billionaire BWWM Romance) (14 page)

Chapter
Twenty-Eight

Monique

I can't do this to myself anymore.

Every kiss, every
joke, every caress of my body was a reminder that I was losing him soon. Every
morning that we woke up together was one more morning I lost forever.

Every moment I
spent with him only prolonged the heartbreak that was to come.

I needed to end
it. Now. I needed to summon the strength and the words to say I was
leaving.
 
But they wouldn't come in
time before we needed to leave.

I took my
familiar post during soundcheck. Everything was a well-oiled machine by now and
the guys breezed through with no issues. I smiled and laughed and joked,
ducking away from Jimmy's flailing arms when needed. Once or twice, Tanner shot
a penetrating look in my direction, but I was saved from having to explain by
the crowds of people who always surrounded him.

That night as I
sat in the wings, I turned away from the band for the first time and looked
outward at the sea of ecstatic faces. The crowd was an instrument and Tanner played
them just as skillfully as he played his guitar. Once more I was taken over
with awe for the star he was.

Little by little,
the awe turned into anger. Anger at him for pretending he was something else
than a full-blown celebrity. The aw-shucks good old boy routine he pulled to
charm his way into my pants.

And anger at
myself for believing it.

By the end of the
second encore I had had enough. The last chords were still ringing out in the stadium,
but I couldn't stand to see him that way for one minute longer. There was no
place I could go besides the bus. So the bus was where I headed.

But it was locked
up tight with no sign of Gus or Leo anywhere.

I flattened my
hands against the metal sides and took a deep breath. This was craziness, being
at his mercy this way. This wasn't my style.

"Call Clara
first thing in the morning," I told myself. "Get a plane ticket back,
then go grovel at Gil's feet. You'll probably get fired over this, but you can
find a new job. Fuck, you can move again. Start over again...."

"Who are you
talking to, babe?"

I whirled on
Tanner in fright and he caught my wrist just before I clocked him in the jaw.
"Hey, steady now," he said in that tone he might have used for a
frightened horse. "I'm gettin' real sick of being your punching bag."

"Why are you
following me?" I lashed out.

His eyes blazed
in the dark. "Oh I'm followin' you, am I? Just because I was looking for
the girl I'm into at the end of my set? Only to find out she ran off before it
even ended?"

"I didn't
run off," I shouted. "You're really fucking arrogant if you expect me
to just sit there all impressed with your little rock show...."

My back slammed
into the bus. Before I could cry out, Tanner's big hands were on my shoulders,
pinning me between the bus and his chest. I wasn't sure which was harder.

"Monique,"
he growled, his tone dark and dangerous. "You have been pissed at me all
day. Care to stop slingin' these accusations and actually tell me what the fuck
I did wrong?"

"Tanner this
is ridiculous!" I shouted.

His face was crashing
down in disappointment and I hated myself as I spewed the angry, hurtful words,
but I couldn't stop. "You and me, this whole "thing" we've got
going on. It won't work!"

Chapter
Twenty-Nine

Tanner

She scrambled
away from me, that familiar fire in her eyes, like she was trying to smite me
dead with her eyeballs. "You're deluded if you think this can work!"
she shrieked, stomping her foot like an angry child.

"Tell me
something right now," I demanded, shutting the bus door behind me. It was
close and quiet in here and I tried like hell to lower my voice, stop
antagonizing her. I was being rough, angry, holding her too tight. Her dark
eyes blazed at me, but I was too far gone. "You tell me after all of this
that you still want to go and I will get you on a plane right now and you never
have to see me again. But you have to tell me, right now. No more kissing me
and then ripping my heart out, over and over again."

"Ripping
your heart out?"

"What do you
think of me, Monique Williams? Have you really convinced yourself so completely
that this means nothing to you? To
me
?
Fuck that, I'm not the delusional one," I ran my thumb over her lips.
 
"You are."

Her eyes blazed
at me, her shoulders huffing up and down. She was hot to the touch, scalding
really. I held my thumb right there on her mouth, waiting. "Are you going
to bite me again?"

She didn't
answer. Stretching her lips forward, she drew my thumb into her mouth. I sucked
in my teeth to feel her lips wrapped around something of mine and she smiled an
evil smile and closed her teeth against my skin,

I had her by the
neck, but she had me in her teeth. A dangerous dance of trust. I could choke
her. She could bite down at any second. It all depended on which one of us
yielded first.

"Fuck this
standoff shit," I growled. "Bite me and be done with it."

Her eyes flashed
in triumph and she pulled back her lips, baring her pearly teeth. I sucked in
my breath and waited for her to hurt me physically. Make me feel the pain that
my confused heart was already hurting.

She bit down
slowly, inexorably, leaving her mark on me. I grimaced.

And then the
strangest thing happened. All the wind went out of her sails and she collapsed
in a dejected heap on the bus floor. "Tanner..." she moaned, burying
her head in her hands.

I immediately
sank to her side and cradled her head. Her shoulders hitched a little as she
quieted herself in my neck.

I was prepared to
stay like this as long as she needed. My thigh was cramping and my thumb was
throbbing, but I didn't give a damn about either one of them. I wanted to know
why the hell Monique was crying. She seemed finally ready to tell me.

"Mmmhmmpfh,"
she mumbled into my neck.

"Didn't
quite catch that, darlin'" I muttered into her hair.

She pulled back
and wiped her eyes. "You must think I'm crazy," she said, more
clearly now.

I cocked my head.
"Yeah, but that's what I like about you," I grinned.

She half-laughed,
half grimaced, then clasped her hands tightly in her lap. Her fingers twisted
over and over again and I held my tongue, waiting for her to have her say.

"Tanner,
what are we doing here?" she finally sighed.

 
There was a little-girl-pleading quality
to her voice that I had never heard before. It made me sit right up at
attention. "Well, honey, right now, we're sitting on the dirty ass floor
of my tour bus. You're crying and I'm trying to figure out what I did to make
you cry."

 
She looked stricken. "You didn't do
anything. You're wonderful. Incredible. And that's the whole fucking
problem."

"Oh? Gotta
say darlin', I've never heard that particular complaint."

"Be serious
a sec."

"I am deadly
serious." I cupped her chin in my hand, forcing her to stop looking at the
ground and look at me. "What is the problem?"

She looked
around, wildly, like a trapped animal. "The problem is that it can't
happen. You and me. You're leaving for Europe. I'm going home. It's ending in a
week. You're talking like this is something that's going to last but
Tanner...." Her breath caught in her throat and the rest of her words were
forced out around the sound of her sobs. "
Nothing ever lasts!"

She collapsed
into my chest and I caught her up in my arms, kissing and murmuring sweet words
that made no sense except they felt right to say, but all the while I tried to
piece together her fears. The afternoon in the graveyard, the sun filtering
through the trees as she settled her fingers on my granddad's tombstone and
told me about how she had never had a place to call her own. How her family had
to keep moving, and even when they thought they had a place to settle down,
they ended up moving on from there too.

There was pain
there, deep hurt she didn't want to relive. But everything about me seemed to
set off that pain reflex again, no matter how hard both of us tried to get away
from it.

"Darlin',"
I ventured, quietly. Her sobs had settled and she had my shirt bunched up in
her fist still, but her knuckles were no longer white. The glorious color was
returning and I knew she had calmed enough to hear me when I said. "I
gotta ask you a question and I need you to know it's not meant to hurt
you." I chuckled a little as my thumb throbbed. "And I need to know
that you're not gonna hurt me for asking it."

"Gee, that
inspires a hell of a lot of confidence," she snarked into my chest.

I laughed a
little, glad to have her fire back. It warmed me. "Maybe I'm gonna want
your teeth a bit away from my flesh, here," I said lightly.

She sniffled and
pulled back fixing me with her laser eyes. "Okay, cowboy. Ask away."

I placed my hand
lightly on her leg. "You were a kid. You had no choice in your daddy
moving you all the time. Nothing lasted then, but it wasn't your fault. But I
gotta wonder why you still believe it now that you're grown."

She made an angry
sound, but I pressed my finger on her lips to quiet her. Centimeters from her
teeth. What can I say? I like living dangerously. "You say nothing lasts,
but have you ever actually worked to
make
it last?"

Her eyes widened
and she parted her lips. I snatched my finger away and replaced it with my
lips, pressing in a deep, long kiss that said most of what I was trying to say.
When I finally pulled back, her eyes were glittering again, but I'll be damned
if those didn't look like happy tears.

"Because I'm
a real hard worker, Monique. I've never been one to shy away from something
just 'cos it's hard. I'm going to Europe, you're going home, but that's only
for a little while. I'm willing to make the effort to make
this..."
I touched her lips again and this time she kissed my
finger fervently..."something that lasts."

Chapter Thirty

Monique

I would have
never believed his words if I didn't see the truth in his eyes. And what I saw
there broke me.

"Tanner,"
I said, and suddenly I couldn't stop kissing him. His fingers, his hands, his cheeks,
his lips.

He pulled me onto
his lap, cupping my ass tightly as he kissed me back. His mouth was just as
hungry as mine, tasting my ears, brushing my neck, moving down between my
breasts.

I lifted my shirt
and threw it aside impatiently. Tanner tore off his own and I felt a sigh
escape my lips when his naked chest brushed my own. I wanted more. I wanted
there to be nothing in between us any more. My secret heartbreak was no longer
in the way of me belonging to him completely.

When he leaned me
back onto the floor of the bus and slid my jeans down my hips, I bit my lip.
"Faster," I whispered.

"No can do,
darlin'," he drawled. "I'm gonna make love to you the way I've wanted
to that first time we were together. Now that you understand that there ain't
no damn
rush
here..." he flicked
his tongue lightly over my nub, then took it in between his lips, suckling
gently. "Wish it didn't have to be on the floor again, but no matter...."

"Tanner..."
I gasped. "Oh god, Tanner," the shock of his mouth on me gave way to
pleading as I arched my hips in time with his lapping tongue. He moved slowly,
worshipfully, taking all the time in the world to bring me closer and closer to
the brink.

I rolled my head
from side to side, helpless under his gentle assault. When his fingers trailed
up my stomach to cup my breasts, I let out a sharp moan and pressed myself into
him. "Tanner, I'm so close...."

His voice rumbled
through me. "I know honey, I know all there is to know about you...."

I grabbed his
hair, threading my fingers through the short, silken strands and pressing
myself upward. He knew exactly what I was asking, focusing the whole heat of
his insistence right in the place I needed it most. The pleasure exploded
outward from my center, a shattering earthquake of sensation that had me
felling and flying at the same time.

Tanner's mouth
over mine silenced my cries as I kissed him as hard as I could. I felt him
there at my entrance, naked and hard as diamond and I opened my legs wide. I
was wet and ready, pulsing with a need that only he could fill.

He slid inside of
me, his eyes going wide. I wrapped my legs around him tightly, holding him
there. "No, stay," I groaned as he buried himself up to the hilt.

"You
sure?"

"Yes..."
I whispered. The feeling of him was indescribable. I couldn't lose the
connection I was feeling right now.

He brushed my
hair back, kissing me hard as he moved inside of me. I felt the short, staccato
jerk of his hips, his breath coming rough and ragged. "Monique," he
growled, a rough warning.

"Stay,"
I commanded.

He fell forward
into my neck, crushing me with his weight as he let loose a ragged animal
noise. My own pleasure boiled upward and I was crying out with him, burning up
from within until I was nothing but ashes.

Tanner pulled
himself up and looked at me. "
That
was how it should be between us, baby. Don't ever hold back on me again."
He bruised my lips roughly. "Now that I know what the real thing is, I'll
never settle for anythin' less, you get me?"

"I get
you," I breathed.

"Good."
He was still inside of me, the slow trickle of him sliding down my thigh. My
heart raced, flip flopping between joy and apprehension.
What had we just done?
 

Tanner growled,
pinning me back with that deep-blue stare and cupped my face ferociously in his
hands. "Monique, goddamnit, don't you start second-guessing what just
happened, you hear me? This is real. This is happening. I'm not going anywhere
and neither are you, you understand? Goddamnit Monique..." his voice
trailed off into a ragged whisper, hoarse with longing.

I knew what he
longed for and my body ached with the desire to give it to him. The words
bubbled up out of my throat, no longer able to be contained "I love
you," I half yelped, half-pleaded.

He pulled back.
For a moment I wanted to snatch the words out of the air, he looked so shocked.
Had I read him wrong? Was I insane?

"Monique...."
a slow grin, the sunshine emerging from behind the thundercloud. "Hot
damn, girl. You love me. I knew it. I fucking knew it."

I clenched my hands
into tight fists. "Tanner, you incredible prick...."

"Hey."
He grabbed my hands and yanked me up into a sitting position. I tried to clutch
my knees to my chest but he batted them down. "Stop that. Monique
Williams, I have loved you from the moment I first saw you. Fuck, I fell head
over heels with you the instant I fished your big-city shoes out of the mud in
my drive. You are the most challenging, fearsome, hotheaded and infuriating
woman I have ever encountered and I am completely, head over heels in love with
you."
 
He grabbed my fluttering
hands. "You hear me? And this? This is happening.
 
Yeah it's fast, yeah it's crazy, but
it's right. It's the rightest thing I've ever known."

Maybe he might
have said more. I don't know, I was too busy drowning him out with my laughter,
my tears and my kisses.