Conviction (The Cassano Series Book 4) (3 page)

Zev

It’s one a.m. when I step in front of Tara’s door. I pound on it and wait. She doesn’t answer, so I pound even harder. I think I hear her. I
need
to hear her voice.

“Zev, go home.” She must see me through the peephole.

“No fucking way. Open this door, so I can talk to you.”

“I can’t. If you see me, you’re going to react, and I might not live to see another day. Please go.”

I pound my fist again. “What the hell does that mean? Let me in this fucking door! I have to know what the hell happened!”

“Shit. You’re going to get the police called, and then I’m really going to be in trouble.”

I sigh with a breath of relief when she slides the chain lock over. She barely opens the door, so I wrap my fingers around the frame. If she wants to shut it, she will have to close it on my hand.

Inside her condo is dark, but I realize something is different about her face. “Let. Me. In. I know something is seriously wrong.”

Her next inhale is a succession of short gasps. She’s terrified to move, and I have to know why. “Please, Daisy, let me in,” I utter quietly but pleadingly.

She steps back, and once I’m inside, a light comes on.

Holy fuck, she’s hurt
.
My
girl.
My
Daisy.
My
Tara.

“Who did this to you?”

“I can’t tell you. I’ll be killed if I do.”

My fingers press to my temples as the blood hammers against them and my body begins to shake.

“Whoever did this to you is going to die, and I have a guess who that is.”

Tears gush across her eye that is bloodshot. The other is swollen shut. Black, blue and purple. It’s all I can see of her fragile face.

She’s broken. Sad doesn’t equate. She’s not the Tara I knew, and I fucking despise it. Rage forages for an escape, growing the longer I stare at her.

“Speak to me, Tara, before I lose my fucking mind!”

Her body jerks from the volume of my voice.
Fuck
. I carefully bring her body against mine, circling her waist with my arms. “I’m sorry. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I overheard a conversation between you and Noah about a drug deal. I went to Victoria and made her tell me what she knew because I was afraid she was investigating you.

“I didn’t want you to get into trouble. I didn’t tell her what Noah said about me.” Tara’s gaze drops to my chest. “I didn’t tell her he wanted one night with me.”

I grab hold of her shoulders, but she winces, so I let her go. “Tell me you didn’t do what I think you did. God, tell me you didn’t.”

My words snag as they try to come out, so I swallow. The pain of what I suspect pummels me, and tears wash over my eyes. Her head falls farther, and she weeps.

“Noah thinks you sent me to him. I only did it to keep you out of prison. You wouldn’t accept my love, so I gave you the only thing I could. I hope you can someday see that.”

Stepping back, I hold my hands up in front of me. My fingers bend into fists. “I’m going to kill him. I’m going to beat him until he stops breathing and all I see is his blood on my hands.”

Tara’s head whips up, panic consuming her face.

“No, Zev! No, you can’t.”

“Did he do more than hit you? Did he …?” I can’t bring myself to say the words. Her weeping becomes a sob, revealing the sick truth.

“I’m going to murder him.” I charge toward the door, but she steps in front of it. “Get the hell out of my way, Tara!”

I can see I’ve scared her again as she steps aside, and I’m torn between staying to comfort her and going to seek revenge.

She grabs the sleeve of my t-shirt once I’ve reached the door, so I spin around. “Zev, please, think about what you’re going to do–what you’d be giving up.”

“Get off of me.”

She wails. Snot and tears flow, and I’m unable to pull my gaze away from her pain and her badly injured face.

“Please, I love you and did this to get you out of trouble. If you hurt him, what I went through will be for nothing. It will be for absolutely nothing, and he said he would kill me.”

“It was never your job to control my destiny.” I tear out the door. I’m confused as shit and feeling emotions I didn’t know I could feel. Peeling out of the parking space, I dial Simon.

“Bro, what’s up?” he asks.

“Where are you?”

“D/s.”

“I need you to meet me at my condo before I kill Noah Sanders.”

“Zev, what the fuck? I thought you were in Jersey.”

“Just do it!” I toss my phone into the passenger seat and drive faster. My fingers clutch the steering wheel as I fly down Las Vegas Blvd. and obsess over what Tara has done–for me.

The images breeding in my head of her with Noah ignite a tunnel of fury. It’s all I can see or feel. I want to be angry with her … to blame her. I want to think she betrayed me somehow, but in actuality she did the exact opposite.

He’s the sick, evil one, and after looking at Tara broken and injured, I’m wondering if I’m no better. She wouldn’t have lived that nightmare if I had never agreed to do anything illegal at Submission.

Every action has a set of consequences. All my brothers and I thought about were the terrorists and drug lords. We didn’t think of all the others we would draw into our web of corruption along the way.

Once I’m at my condo, I leave my door unlocked and head to my home gym. I put on the heaviest weights I suspect I could hold and lie underneath them on the bench. I begin to lift, exhaling loud groans in the process.

It’s this or destroy my shit and condo. Or worse yet, I might go do what I really want to do–kill Noah.

I don’t know how long I’ve been lifting, fighting not to see the sick images that keep projecting on the ceiling above me. Noah fucking Tara forcefully. Noah hitting her and smacking her around. She was moving slowly tonight, and I bet he’s to blame for that, too.

“Bro, what the fuck is going on?” Simon asks.

Dropping the weights above me, I pull up my t-shirt and drag it down my face that’s drenched in sweat.

He follows me out to the kitchen, and I take a water from the fridge and chug it.

“Well?” he asks. His eyebrows are lifted as I look to him. He’s waiting for me to answer, and I don’t know where to start.

“Tara found out about the drop that needs to happen with Noah. She also found out what he wanted in return. She gave it to him last night to keep me out of prison. To keep
us
out of prison.”

“Holy shit.” He rubs his forehead and begins pacing. “OK, so she slept with him.”

I slam my water bottle down on the counter.

“She didn’t sleep with him! He fucked her and beat the shit out of her.”

Simon stops and turns to me, the magnitude of what happened catching up with him. “She’s hurt?”

“Yes, her face was beaten badly, and I’m not sure of her other injuries. I didn’t stick around long enough to find out. The way her face looked. Her sadness. I couldn’t take it.”

I grip my wet hair in the front and pace. Simon approaches me and touches my shoulder.

“Tell me not to kill him. I can picture it. It would be so easy for me to do.”

“If you touch him, everything we worked for goes down the toilet. We all go down. You have to think about Karen, your niece and nephew, Mom and Aggie.”

Groaning loudly, I jerk away from him. I march to my sofa and fall back onto it. “Tell me how to look him in the face and not rip it off. I don’t know how I’ll do it.”

“First, you need to put some time and space between the two of you. You can’t see him anytime in the near future. Second, you need to think about what you have to lose, including Tara.”

“She’s not mine. I pushed her away, and look what happened to her.”

“She could be yours. Bro, she made the ultimate sacrifice for you when you aren’t even together. She had no way to know if you would hate her or love her for it, but I know.”

“I don’t deserve her, and could she even forgive me?”

“She wouldn’t have done this for you if she wasn’t capable of forgiveness.”

My brother is standing in front of me in black dress pants and a white shirt. His hair is a mess from a night of work, and his tie is loosened.

He’s tapping his foot. I’m trying to stay distracted. I don’t want to dwell on his last words.

“Zev, it’s time to admit it. You love her.”

I bury my face in my hands, and I do dwell on his words.

“How would I ever be enough to take away the ugliness of what happened to her? How could I make her happy?”

Sitting next to me on the sofa, he places a hand on my back. “You replace the ugly with good. You love her the way you’ve never loved anyone else. Give that to her, and I bet it will make her the happiest woman in the world.”

“What if this doesn’t work out, us not going to jail? I’ll rip her heart out all over again.”

“She’ll be there for you. It’s the same way Sadie is going to support me; she just doesn’t want to accept it yet because she’s angry at me over the circumstances.”

As an adult, I’ve only cried once, at my father’s funeral, so the tears dropping to my cheeks stun me. I shut them down swiftly and wipe my eyes, but the tears own me all over again. “I don’t want to put her through what Mom put us through.”

“You’re not our Ma, Zev. You have rough times, but they’re nothing like her illness. Maybe you’ve only ever been depressed because you haven’t dealt with her situation or let anyone in. Shit, let Tara decide if she loves you for you.”

Placing my elbows on my knees, I lean my head over and rest it on my arms. “I’ve always hated our mother, Simon. I hated her until this trip.

“She was better than I’ve ever seen her because of the medication. That’s when I realized she can’t help it. It was never her fault. Now, we’re almost out of time with her.”

Simon is rubbing my back, and it’s weird but comforting at the same time. We don’t speak while my walls crumble.

They crumble around me.

Like Tara, I’m broken, and I’ve given up the one woman who brought light into my world and saw something in me that I couldn’t see in myself.

Zev

The sunlight shines in on my face, waking me. I’m on the sofa, resting on my side with a blanket over me. I look around and find Simon asleep in a chair to my left.

He’s a damn good brother. Like Aggie said, I can always count on my family to have my back. Glancing to the clock on the wall, I see it’s eight in the morning.

“Simon, wake up. I need to leave.”

He stirs and scowls, likely from the uncomfortableness of sleeping in a chair. “Shit, I never went back to work.”

“I’m sure Shannon and Kruse closed up, or you would’ve received a call by now. There is somewhere I need to be.”

“Good to hear.” As he stretches he smirks.

“And I might be a bit preoccupied for a while,” I add.

“Yeah, I figured as much. You take all the time you need.”

“Thank you, Jersey. Thank you for everything.”

“What are brothers for? I have somewhere to be, too.”

We both stand and stretch again. He moves his long bangs away from his face and holds out his fist for me to bump, but I pull him in for a hug.

“OK, uh, I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” he asks.

“I’ll text you.”

Tara

My body shudders from the sound of banging on my door.

Zev. But what if it’s Noah?

It’s close to nine in the morning. As the night dragged on, I only dozed off occasionally. I was waiting and praying that Zev didn’t kill the evil asshole.

I jump from the couch as the sound rumbles against the door once more. Peeking through the peephole, I see it’s Zev, so I anxiously open it. “Zev, is everything OK?”

Without a word, he comes toward me and gently frames my face. His lips crush to mine, and he groans lightly.

He’s kissing me. Xavier is kissing me!

He has showered, and he smells of pine. His mouth tastes like mint. Oh, lord, I must have awful breath, but Zev is kissing me!

He doesn’t stop, so finally I pull away to breathe. I grip his tapered waist as his thumbs graze my swollen cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, Tara. I’m sorry for what you went through with that sick bastard and for how I’ve treated you.”

“Tell me you didn’t do anything stupid.”

“I did.”

“Zev!”

“Not that.”

“Then what?”

“I let you go. It was the stupidest decision I’ve ever made.”

I’m ashamed, so my eyes flit to the floor.

“You’re not disgusted by me?”

“God, no. I hate what happened, but what you did for me … I had to get away to clear my head. I couldn’t grasp why you would sacrifice so much for me. I don’t deserve it, but I will spend every day trying to. That is, if you’ll let me.”

I nod and grin, and Zev kisses me again. His tongue moves magically with mine, and his choppy breaths are fiery, heating my mouth.

“Zev.”

“I’m here to take care of you, Tara. I know you’re hurting.”

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I find his tender mouth again, still surprised that he is letting me. His lips sway along mine, his tongue soon between my lips, moving all around the sultry space.

It’s as if he’s fascinated at what it’s like to kiss a woman, and he’s desperate to find out what my mouth tastes like.

“Fuck, kissing you is amazing. Why didn’t I do this before?”

“Because you’re a confusing man.”

He smiles before he steals another kiss. His hands slip inside my robe and begin to explore as much as his tongue does.

His thumbs draw circles on my hips, and I don’t mind since he’s being super gentle. They slide along my curves and up to my chest before he stops with a groan.

“I want to take care of you at my place. Would you let me do that?” he asks, barely removing his lips from mine.

“OK, I’ll get dressed.” Reluctantly, his hands slip from my robe, and I pad slowly to my bedroom.

“What’s hurting?” The anger is evident in his tone as he follows me.

“Almost everything. I’ll be OK, Zev. I’ll heal.” I turn and take a glimpse at him. His mouth is droopy, and the sadness consuming his face is something I never want to see again.

“Where is the pain reliever?”

“In the bathroom, but I will get it.” My face heats as I blush. “I really want to brush my teeth.”

I’m instantly happier once he grants me a sheepish grin back. “I’ll get you some water then.”

Once I take the medicine and change into an outfit, he asks where my keys are.

“I’d carry you out, but I’m worried I would only hurt you more. We’ll have to take your car since I took a taxi here.”

“What if Noah is watching my place?”

“Fuck Noah. I’ll never let anything else happen to you.”

Zev’s sweet as he holds my arm and helps me walk to the car. My back is killing me, and I’m thankful I took some pain medication.

I’m grateful to be with him, yet I also fear Noah finding out that I’ve told. Can Zev really keep me safe?