Conflicted (11 page)

CHAPTER TEN

SUICIDAL TEND
ENCIES TURN INTO GUILTY ONES…

Joss

Since arriving back in Arizona, I’d been doing my best to move forward. I’d finally devised a plan and today, I was going to put it into motion. I wasn’t sure if it was going to work or not, but I had to at least try. The band would be here soon and I had a lot to get in order before then.

My mom was flitting around the kitchen like a woman on a mission in preparation. You would think she was cooking for a small army. Well, she sort of was, but still. I said a quick goodbye and made my way to the other side of the city where barbed wire walls lined the perimeter and the residents were all sorts of dangerous.

After checking in with security and being buzzed through the gate, I made my way to the parking lot and found the closest spot I could. Looking in the rearview mirror, I made sure I was wearing my most determined look before making my way inside. This meeting wasn’t for me. I, Joss Victoria Potter, was acting completely selflessly on this mission with only one purpose in mind, and I wasn’t leaving until I got the result that I wanted. Call me the human pit bull; I was going to latch on and stay there even if he tried to kick me off.

Walking through the bleach-scented entry, I was searched before being led down to the community room where the meeting would be taking place. Taking a deep breath, I watched the guarded door with a glass window closely. When he approached
on the other side, it was like seeing Derek twenty years from now. After searching him, they led him over to the table with shackled hands and handcuffs still in place. He didn’t look like an evil monster; it boosted my self-confidence that hopefully he wasn’t a complete bastard. I smoothed my pale pink blouse before opening my mouth to introduce myself.

“Hi, Derek,” I said
, looking him square in the eye. “I’m Joss, Blake’s sister, and a good friend of your son’s. You’re probably wondering why I’m here.”

“Nice to meet you, Joss. And yes, I’m curious. Did he send you?” He sounded hopeful.

“No, actually he has no idea that I’m here.”

“Well, then why are you here?”
he asked, giving me a once over.

“I’m here because your son is still
struggling with what happened. You’re the cause of it, and if I have it my way, he’ll be coming here to speak with you to try and get some closure. I want to make sure he gets it,” I stated firmly.

“I appreciate wha
t you’re trying to do here, sweetheart, but it’s not going to work. He’s a younger version of me, and when he left for LA, that was it for us. He’s not coming, so don’t bother wasting any more of your time. I’m here in Hell where I belong, and it’s where I’m going to stay.” There was a grim look on his gaunt face.

“There’s where you’re wrong. I’ve had all his close friends push him
and he’s finally at the point where he thinks it’s a good idea, so I’d like to beg to differ that he’ll be here. You and I need to establish some ground rules for that visit, and if you can adhere to them and he’s pleased with the outcome, I’ll make sure I get a very persuasive letter to your parole hearing. If it goes south, I will take you the fuck down! Do we have an understanding?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow and looking for any sign that he would be lying when he gave his answer.

“I’m not agreeing to anything that I don’t know the terms to.”

“You’re going to hear him out. You’re going to take the blame. If he yells at you, you need to sit there and take it like a fucking man, like someone who deserves to be sitting there. I’m sure you’re remorseful for what happened, but it doesn’t change the fact that it did. Derek is stuck and in order for him to move forward, he needs this. He needs closure.” My lady balls were in full swing and I felt full of confidence that this was going my way.

The elder Derek seemed taken aback by my statement. “W
hy do you care so much? What’s he to you?”

“He’s my friend and someone whom I care a lot about. Seeing him in pain causes me pain
. I need to know that I did everything in my power to make it right for him, so he can move forward with his life.”

“He’s lucky to have you. What you’re asking isn’t unreasonable.” H
e nodded. “I guess I can try and go along with what you’re trying to do here.”

We shook hands and I felt like I
’d just made the deal of a lifetime.

“Very well. I’ll see you soon.”

Standing up, I made my way out of the prison and went to meet my friend Jackie for lunch. We went to school together and had worked at the same interior design firm last semester. On my way there, my phone started ringing; it was Blake. I hadn’t spoken with him since I’d returned and I was hoping he wasn’t still pissed off at me for how things ended when I left.

“Hi, little sis,
I’m just calling to check in and see how things are and let you know that Derek talked to us and told us everything.”

“Speaking of which, I’m actually just leaving the prison now
,” I cringed.

“WHAT!”
he roared.

“Relax, Cujo. It was
fine. There were guards everywhere. I wanted to make sure that we had a mutual understanding before I sent him into the lion’s den. No reason to freak out.”

“I can’t help it, Joss. The thought of something happening to you is enough to give me heart palpitations.”

I burst into a fit of giggles. “You’re nuts, you know that?”

“Oh, shut up,” he teased. “On a not so good note, the band that was supposed to be opening for us backed out last minute and now we need to rush and find a replacement before next week.”

“That sucks. I’ll ask around and see if anyone knows of anyone.”

“Al
l right. Waverly’s just waking up from her nap. I’ll see you soon. Love ya, kid.”

“Yeah, yeah, love you too, you stupid oaf.”

I hung up and made my way to Hansen’s Deli. When I arrived, I saw Jackie sitting at a table off to the side. Her dark brown hair was in loose curls that fell to her shoulders and her makeup was impeccable. I wish I had her style. I was more of a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, with heels. That or dresses. I love dresses.

“Hey, Joss,” s
he beamed, looking up from the menu.

“Hey, Jackie. I’m glad we finally have a chance to catch up. How’s everything going?”

“Great. I met a new guy named Ben. He’s all sorts of wonderful,” she said, sounding ga-ga.

Gag me. Love is for suckers.

“That’s great. I’m really happy for you,” I said, hoping I sounded believable.

“We’re going out tonight with some of his friends to see a band. I’d love if you could come along.”

Since my life was officially down the shitter, and I had nothing else going on, I nodded, causing her to clap her hands. We ate lunch and caught up on all her happenings. I really liked her, but I wasn’t in a people pleasing mood today. She asked if I’d heard from Tom, which I hadn’t. When we were leaving, she told me to meet them at Vex by nine.

After arriving home, I headed straight to my room to start prepping for the night.
I showered and made sure everything was shaved and buffed to perfection, since you never know when Prince Charming will pop up. I teased my hair, making sure that it was full of volume.

Sitting at my vanity, I looked at my reflection in the mirror
. I felt proud of myself for earlier. I applied my makeup and was pleasantly surprised with the final outcome. Picking out a black bra, a white ribbed tank, and skinny jeans that I paired with black patent leather stilettos, I was full on rocker chic. Looks like I was picking up fashion tips from Aubrey and Piper after all.

I kissed my dad on the head and made my way to Vex.
After struggling for ten minutes to find a parking spot, I gave up and paid the twenty bucks to park in the downtown parking garage. The sound of my heels clinking against the pavement caused a horrible echoing that was driving me bonkers and I wasn’t even at the elevator yet.

The line was already down the side of the building. I walked until I spotted Jackie about halfway down with a group of guys and one other girl. She waved her hands dramatically in the air
, causing me to roll my eyes and slap a fake smile on my face.

“What’s with the line?” I huffed. Vex never had a line like this, especially not during a weeknight.

I wondered if Charlie was working. He was a good friend of Blake’s and would most likely let us, or at least me, in without waiting. “I’ll be right back. I want to see something,” I told her.

After getting a couple dozen dirty looks, I made my way to the front of the line where a menacing bouncer glared at me.

“Is Charlie inside?” I asked sweetly.

“If you have to ask, then the answer is no,” he said in a snipped
tone.

“Then it’s a shame I’m going to have to tell him that his bouncer is such an asshole when I get in there. I’m sure he’ll be
very displeased with you, considering he’s a close friend of my brother’s,” I sneered.

That’s all it took for him to pull his stupid radio to his mouth and ask for Charlie to come out front to deal with a situation.
Less than five minutes later, the door burst open and an annoyed looking Charlie made his way over. He was a mid-forties bachelor who had a thing for just legal groupies. Most women would probably swoon over him. I wasn’t one of them.

“Butch, what the fuck is the problem that is so important that I have to deal with it?”

Butch, I guess his name was, motioned at me.

“Joss, is that you?”

“Hi, Charlie,” I said smugly.
Eat that, asshole!

“Why didn’t you tell me
who it was?” he scolded Butch.

“Sorry, boss. I didn’t know.”

“Come on in. I’ll set you up at a private table.”

“Is it okay if I bring my friends? There’s only a few of us,” I said
, batting my fake eyelashes and making my best puppy dog face.

“Of
course. Get them and Butch will let you in. I’ll stop by in a bit to chat. It’s fantastic to see you doll.”
Ha! Take that, Tarzan.

I pushed my way back to Jackie and her friends and told them to come inside. Their jaws all dropped. Once inside
, we walked to a prime table that had a reserved card on it and took a seat. Jackie introduced me to everyone. There was her boyfriend Ben, and his friends Ethan and Steve. Steve screamed wannabe playboy with mommy issues and Ethan screamed overachiever. His teeth were so white they were going to blind me before the night was over and his boy band haircut was going to irritate me. Didn’t anyone tell him the 90’s were meant to stay there?

I ordered us a round of drinks and settled into the plush bench seat. Steve tried to put his arm around my shoulder, which I quickly shrugged off.

“Not happening, big boy,” I grumbled under my breath.

The doors opened
and the club quickly filled up. Music was blaring through the speakers, and I couldn’t help but smile when a Battlescars song came on. Their new album was doing so well. I was really proud of Blake and the rest of the guys. I couldn’t help but think of Derek.

Pulling my phone out of my purse
, I opened up a new text.

Me: At Vex and a Battlescars song just came on. Made me think of you.

Derek: Really? That’s so weird isn’t it? We practically started there.

Me: Totally, but not as weird as the playboy sitting next to me trying to put on the moves,
lol.

Derek: You’re a dick magnet, Joss.

Me: Yeah, don’t remind me. We’re here to see some band. Hopefully they’re at least halfway decent. Have a good rest of your night.

Derek: Okay, be safe.
ps- thanks for pushing me before you left. I needed it.

Me: I know. Night, Derek
.

Derek: Night, babe.

Putting my phone back in my purse, I felt a little better. At least we were still on speaking terms.

Trying my best
to politely ignore the mongrels one either side of me, I glared at Jackie, who shrugged her shoulders. We had prime viewing space right to the left of the stage. The lights were still dimmed when a guitarist started playing in the shadows off the stage. Once he reached the center, the stage lit up and the remaining members took their places. He kept playing a riff of epic, panty-bursting magic as they broke into their first song. That’s when I heard it - a voice sent from the heavens above. It was the most sinister, delicious, velvet honey voice I’d ever heard.

The spotlight flashed to him and holy fuck!
There is a Heaven on Earth and it’s in the form of whatever the hell this guy’s name is.
Tall, lean, ripped, with shaggy brown hair and the most intense green eyes, even more so than Blake’s and his are like fucking emeralds.

“We’re Guilty Tendencies, and we’re going to make your panties explode tonight,” he said into the mic. Oh, if he only knew.

They started their set and they were unbelievably talented. Then it dawned on me; Blake said that they’d lost their opening act. These guys would be perfect! I sent him a message telling him I was going to call him and have him listen to these guys to see what he thought. He replied saying it was perfect since he and Piper were already over at Jake’s. After dialing his number, I held the phone out and let him get a good, long listen in before hanging up. There was no way in hell I was going to be able to hear shit.