Authors: Leah Holt
Now wasn't the time. That was a conversation for another day, another time, if this actually led to anything. But I didn't hold onto any hope of that.
Silas was not the ball and chain kind of guy.
A twinge of jealousy hit my stomach, as my head rolled with thoughts.
Did he pick up any other women this week? Had he had other flings, been with other girls?
The thought of him with someone else made me feel sick, and I couldn't understand why. He wasn't my boyfriend, he didn't owe me any act of celibacy. We weren't a couple, so why was I getting so heated with the idea of that?
The light flicked green, his head turning back to the road. As we took a right turn, I leaned into his ear. “Where are we going anyway?”
“A little place I know.” Hitting the engine hard, the motorcycle jerked. I dug my hands into his chest, gripping hard to keep me in place.
It was fun riding on the back of the bike. But the lack of doors, glass, and protection in general, scared me a little. I was uneasy with the fact that if we crashed, there was nothing between us and the pavement.
Pulling down a long, partially paved road, the tires jumped around over the bumps. Slowing to a stop, he kicked out the stand. “Where are we?” I asked.
Sticking his hand into the saddlebag, he yanked out a small blanket. “Follow me and you'll see.” Silas turned and started up the remaining roadway.
Scurrying up to his side, I stayed close. We were in the middle of the woods, the only sound around us was the treetops blowing and dancing in the wind.
The ground was uneven, pitching up. Stumbling over the dirt, I gripped his arm tightly.
The white of his eyes flicked down, lip peeling back. Bringing a hand to my wrist, he caressed the skin gently.
His touch is sweet.
It was surprising that a man so rough around the edges, could have such a tender feel.
The treeline opened around us, and my eyes grew to the size of the moon. We were on the top of a cliff, the city below was doused in lights. Everything was glowing, brightly on display and shimmering. It was beautiful.
“What do you think?” he asked, tossing the blanket out, spreading it across the ground.
“Wow, it's so pretty. I've never been here before, the city looks incredible.” My jaw hung open, muscles unable to hold it closed.
“I wasn't sure if you had or not. You're from around here, and I'm not.” Bending down to sit, he tapped the blanket with his hand. “Sit.”
“How did you find this place?” I asked, lowering beside him.
“I was just cruising around one day and stumbled on it.”
“You got lost, huh?” Giggling, I leaned my shoulder into his and nudged him.
“Okay, maybe I did.” Smiling, his face shined under the night sky, moon brightly lit above us.
Leaning back on my palms, I stuck my legs out and crossed them over each other. “I knew it, no one just finds a place like this without being lost.”
“Go ahead, twist the knife a little more.” Silas made the motion of being stabbed in the gut, keeling over onto his side.
Laughing, I said, “Hey, the truth hurts sometimes. That's what GPS is for.”
Lifting his fingers to my cheek, he ran them over my flushing apples. “You really are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Even your laugh is sexy as hell.”
Warmth spread over my body, prickles surging to the surface, breaking over my skin. But a piece of me felt reserved, wanting to know if there are others like me. Others he swoons to get into their pants.
He made it easy for me the first time we were together, everything about him seeps confidence. But if there were others, if he had women waiting for his call all over the state... I couldn't do this, I wasn't going to be walked over.
I'm not a woman who sits waiting in the wings for a guy, no matter how much he made my insides scream. Exhaling a deep breath, I turned to look him in the eyes. “Silas, can I ask you something?”
“Anything, sweetheart.”
“Look, I just need to know one thing. Do you have other girls like me? Ones you call on when you're looking to get laid?” My brows lifted, peering at him under hooded lids.
“What? Like you?” Silas's brow shot up, a single eye squinting tight.
“Yeah, I know we've only slept together once. But I'm not one of those girls you can call on when you can't get any.”
He sat in silence for a moment, lips pulled back tight. “Heidi, I'm not fucking anyone else if that's what you're asking.”
“Why do I find that hard to believe?”
“Because, you think I'm a man whore. And I'll be honest, I was.” Cupping my jaw, he leaned in close. “But, I've spent the last two weeks looking for you, what does that tell you?”
He really looked for me? Why? I'm not that memorable.
I was trying to decipher his truthfulness, see if I could sense the falsity in his tone and movements.
Being the daughter of a cop had its perks, you learn to read people pretty well. And no matter how deep I looked into his eyes, watched his body and muscles, he seemed to be honest.
“I just don't want to get hurt, and I don't want to sleep with you and god knows who else. So if you are, that's fine, but I'd have to end this here.” Lifelessly my hand fell into my lap, shoulders falling forward.
His eyes flicked between mine, catching a glimmer from the moon. “If I saw you as just a quick fuck, we wouldn't be here right now. But I'll let you in on a little secret...” His words trailed off, hand gliding down between my shoulder blades. “I see you as mine.”
My heart stopped, lungs freezing against my ribs. I didn't know what to say, what to think. A cool sweat broke across my skin, the small droplets surrendered to gravity, tracing the dips of my spine.
Forcing out an exhale, my head shook side to side. “You don't even know me, not even enough to call me a friend.” Tilting on my hip, I veered my stare at his. “How could you see me as yours?” I asked, trying to regain some composure.
As much as the tender words hit me with force, he was a play boy. A walking cock, ready to stick himself into the next warm body that came along. I had to remind myself of how arrogant his confidence was. You don't get that way by being a soft-hearted, compassionate man.
That I knew, I wasn't naive.
Silas didn't know me from a hole in the wall, there's no fucking way he could see me as his. I wasn't property, or a bargain he picked up at the local super market. He had to be trying to feed me lines of bullshit, we'd only been together one time.
His? He sees me as his? What a crock of shit. Nice try.
I thought to myself, rolling my eyes in the sockets and laughing under my breath.
“You think I'm joking, don't you?” he asked, shoulders snapping square.
“Well, come on, Silas. Think about it.” Crossing my legs, I shifted my body to face him. “We had one night together, that was it. And technically, if you wanted to check the notches, this would be our first date.” Wrapping my forearm around my knee, I pulled it to my chest. “I know literally nothing about you, same goes for you.”
“I know what I'm feeling.” His brows crawled up his face, slinking like small caterpillars. “And my gut's always right. You'll learn that.”
His words clawed their way through my body, wrapping around the muscles like long legs of a spider. I was trying desperately to not get yanked in, to stay strong and not fall for him the way I was.
But it was happening, he was winning.
I'd wanted to see him again, and he came to me. I wanted to smell him again, and his scent was coating my brain. Everything I had wished for was now right beside me, right where I wanted it.
So why was I trying to build a wall around myself?
Why did I find it so unbelievable that he could mean anything he was saying?
Because of fear.
Fear of letting myself get close to someone, fear of losing someone I let in.
It was that which held me back, that feeling was trying to keep him an arms distance away.
No matter how badly I wanted him right where he was, with me.
Silas
S
he can't see it, she's refused to. Heidi wasn't letting herself open up to what I could feel and what I knew she felt too. I could read her body, see her muscles tremble with everything I said.
She's afraid, I know she's afraid.
Heidi was a girl whose emotions and thoughts were painted on her face. The way her slender fingers curled around the ridge on her jeans, the quick flutter of her lashes against her eyes, it all told me she wanted to be mine; but fear had spun a web around her spine.
I watched her, took in everything she did. It was funny that she said I didn't know anything about her, because I knew more than she thought.
I was seasoned in reading a person's body language, you could know exactly what someone was thinking from just that. I was bred for it, taken as a young, lost kid, and fabricated into who I am now. My love of fucking had only been shadowed by one other thing; my line of work.
Heidi hasn't realized how intricately I study her. She sees me, watches me even; but she avoids my eyes. All my training over the years had done this for me, given me the ability to see through people.
Leaning back on one hand, my head tilted at the sky. “You see that star right there?” I asked, pointing up.
“Which one? There's a whole sky full.” Heidi leaned in, trying to follow the line of my finger.
“That one, right at the tip of my finger.” Shaking her head yes, I said, “Watch it.”
Her lips sealed, tugging down against her chin. “Alright.” Squinting her gaze, I watched her eyes spread wide. “It's moving, why is it moving?” Her neck twisted, looking at me, then back at the bright moving speck.
“It's not a star, it's a satellite.” Shifting onto my elbow, I held my head up.
“How do you know that?”
“Because I know things, just like I know your dad's a retired cop, which is why you bolted out of your house tonight.”
Her head jerked in my direction, hair following and draping over her chest. The tight sweater began to rise rapidly, breasts peeking slightly with each inhale. The sound of air whistled into her throat as she breathed, turning my cock hard.
Even in the darkness I watched her soft, milky skin deepen to a raspberry shade. Heidi hadn't expected me to find out about her, and her father. If she wanted me to know, she would've mentioned it.
Instead, she ran at me like a girl who just stole lipstick from a store. Running to her getaway car, screaming for me to go. Her dad must be a damn prick in her side.
And I was planning on taking that thorn out, kissing the wound, and making both our lives a hell of a lot better.
Her back stiffened, ribs stacking up like a tall ladder. “How do you know that?”
“I told you, I know things, Heidi.” Rolling onto my back, I stared back at the sky. “I know we don't know each other yet, but I want to. I haven't been able to get you out of my head. And personally, I'd rather you tell me about yourself than me digging around for information.”
“How did you find that out?” She looked nervous, uncomfortable even with my having that knowledge. What she needed to realize was that I wasn't going to run away because her dad used to own a pair of cuffs.
I wasn't scared of her father because of his past, maybe others in her life had been, but not me.
Heidi seemed to expect that it would drive me away. A look of shock had coated her face, fingers burying deep in her hair, twisting the long locks up to the roots.
Reaching my hand out, I caressed her thigh. “I meant what I said, Heidi. I see you as mine. And I'll show you that I'm serious.”
“You don't understand. My dad, he's not an easy guy to deal with it.” Twirling her finger between us, she said, “This, right here, it won't fly.”
“And why not? Am I too rough for him? Driving a bike, having tattoos, what does he want?” Narrowing my eyes, I said, “You to date a guy with khaki pants and loafers?”
“Yeah, that's exactly it.” She chuckled under her breath. The nervous laughter drifted between uneasiness and enjoyment.
“Well that's too bad for him. Because I'm not that guy. But I'm not going anywhere, I mean that. I'm as much yours as you're mine.”
A shy smile broke free on the edge of her lips, dipping her head, she brushed her hair back. “Is that right?”
“Right as rain, baby.” Throwing my arm around her waist, I yanked her onto my chest. “You can't say you don't feel it, can you?”
Heidi didn't speak, her lips formed a soft circle, eyes shifting between mine. Bringing her fingertips to my forehead, she pushed them through my hair. I could feel her heart beating against her chest, pounding with need into mine.
“I didn't think so,” I said, whispering the words across her chin.
Cupping her jaw, I pulled her onto my lips. Sliding my tongue into her mouth, the taste of her honeyed kiss teased my cock, turning it ridgid.
Her fingers walked down my torso, playfully running across the edge of my pants. “I bet you want me to keep going, don't you?” she asked, speaking into my mouth.
Pretending like I had to think about it, my lids closed thin, head tilting to my shoulder. “Hm...” Thumbing my chin, I said, “Nah, I should probably get you home.” Laughing, I gripped her hand, guiding it to the hard-on forming below.
I felt her shudder, the rhythmic vibration filling her belly and rolling out over her body. “That's what I thought. Okay, let's go.” She started to sit up, lifting off my chest with her hands.
“You're not going anywhere.” Quickly, I threw my arms around her, yanking her back down. “We're definitely not done here.”
Her hair spread into a wave behind her head, filling the open blanket below. And I was hit, struck by a beauty I hadn't experienced before. Feelings surged through my body, carving into the bone.
I had to remind myself to breathe, consciously make my lungs refill with the oxygen surrounding me. Swallowing a thick gulp of air, I brushed my knuckles over her cheek. “You really are so fucking beautiful.”
“Are you going to fuck me?” Biting her lip, Heidi's thighs closed, knees rubbing together.