Colorado Fire - Colorado Heart 2 (3 page)

"Can I see the iPad?" Zander asked.

Marshal glanced at him, their gazes connecting for a brief second. The impact of Marshal's angry stare was like running into a brick wall. He flinched before Marshal looked away. Breathing proved almost impossible, and he had to swallow twice to keep from throwing up.

The maps of Leeds and the surrounding area were displayed on the screen, but it could have been anywhere. His brain wouldn't work at all. Zander took a moment to allow the pain to live inside him, and then he stuffed it down, focusing on the tablet. After ten minutes of studying Leeds, he stood and turned to Duff.

"What is our goal, Duff?"

"We haven't settled it yet. I'd like to get all of the paper out of this building, but we're too far away. Grant went in alone and we don't have a team in place."

"Grant is safe, right?" Zander asked, praying that his buddy wasn't in danger.

"Yes, he's still at the location, but he's found information that he feels sure will lead him to Craig."

"Marshal was in the area not that long ago, can you tell us about it?" Zander asked.

Zander glanced at Marshal, noticing his look of surprise. They held gazes for a moment before Marshal stood, picking up the iPad. He gazed at the device, the seconds ticking away, before facing the rest of the guys. Zander's heart squeezed. Marshal's eyes were sunken and his cheeks hollow. His shoulders dipped with defeat, letting Zander know he'd pushed the man too far. As soon as he had two minutes alone with Marshal, he'd apologize, promising anything to get them back to being friends.

"I honestly like the idea of letting the police deal with the paper. They need a win, and if we give them the building, letting them sift through the mess, they might find something that will lead them to another terrorist cell, preventing one more crime. We don't have the resources to deal with it. If we were in London...but we're not. We're in Colorado and we don't have the local manpower."

Marshal sat down and no one spoke. Everyone else was looking at Marshal so Zander took the opportunity to stare at the man, appreciating his strong jaw and full lips. Those lips had tortured his dreams and now he knew how wonderful they were. He didn't want to live without that for the rest of his life, but forcing Marshal into a relationship that he didn't want wouldn’t work. Tonight, he'd find the time to talk to Marshal and make everything right.

"He's right," Billy spoke. "We don't have the resources to go in and mount a full-scale investigation. We're only interested in Craig because he was one of us. If he'd been any other guy, we'd not even contemplate picking up the papers. He screwed us over, we know that now, but what are we trying to accomplish?"

Duff moved to the center of the room, his gaze roving over the mess they'd created in the den and kitchen. "I'll call Grant and tell him to leave the paper and contact the police. We only want Craig. Grant's been there for four hours, if he hasn't found anything interesting in that amount of time, we don't need to find it. Thank you all. Now, let's put this room back in order and continue working from the command center.

"Marshal and Zander, I want you both available for later. Billy and Tucker, could you help me go through what we have so far? Roger and Mike, you two take care of the farm chores that still need to be done? James, I'd like you to stay with me. I need your expertise. With Grant in danger, we all need to be prepared and be ready. We'll sleep in shifts. Marshal and Zander, you both need to rest because I have a feeling I'll be calling on you later. Go take a nap or something."

Zander looked toward Marshal but the man was ignoring him. They wouldn’t get far working like this. He needed to clear the air. After helping the guys put away the papers and computers, he looked for Marshal, not finding him.

Marshal wouldn’t have gone far. Zander thought about ignoring the situation, but with Grant possibly in danger, they didn't have the luxury of time. Three knocks on Marshal's door went unanswered so he turned the knob, opening the door. It was the first time he'd ever felt unwelcome entering Marshal's room. They'd been friends forever, hanging out in each other's rooms without once ever having an issue. Now he felt strange and unwelcome.

The door to the bathroom opened, revealing a totally naked Marshal with a towel over his head. It took him long enough to realize Zander was in the room that Zander got a long look at all of Marshal. His gaze was on Marshal's dick and he didn't even try to hide his open admiration.

"What the fuck?" Marshal's voice was sharp, drawing Zander's gaze up. Fury blazed in his eyes and Zander knew he'd been mistaken about the whole thing.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to kiss you like that. Please forgive me."

Marshal stayed still, his fists clenched. Zander would take whatever punishment Marshal dished out. He deserved the man's anger. It took Marshal three strides to be in front of Zander, his shoulders rising and falling with each intake of breath. Zander braced himself for the impact and wasn't shocked when he was shoved into the wall before being spun around, Marshal holding his hands behind his back, trapping him.

He wouldn't fight Marshal. They had too much history between them for him to hurt his best friend. Plus, he deserved the beating. Waiting for the impact of the first fist, he glanced over his shoulder, expecting to see hate, but confusion swam in Marshal's eyes.

Their gazes connected and Marshal's grip loosened. Slowly, Zander pulled his hands from Marshal's hold and turned to face him. The anger and hate he expected wasn't there. Marshal looked just as confused as Zander felt.

"Marsh? I didn't—"

One finger rose, quieting Zander. "Shhh." They stood inches apart, Marshal's gaze holding his as the seconds ticked by. His lungs stalled as hope blossomed. He tried to breathe normally but air whooshed out of his lungs, surprising them both. Marshal took a step back and closed his eyes, shaking his head. Pain etched deep lines across Marshal's brow, his lips turning down in a frown.

Zander had never in his life felt so terrible. If he could take back that one moment and save Marshal this pain, he would. The urge to touch the man almost did Zander in, but he wouldn’t force himself on his best friend. Zander closed his eyes and plastered himself against the wall, getting as far away from Marshal as possible. If he could have slipped out of the room he would have, but Marshal had him cornered.

"Fuck it," Marshal whispered.

He opened his eyes in time to see Marshal moving close. Zander flinched, unsure what was going to happen. The slide of soft lips against his was unexpected and he gasped. Then Marshal's tongue was in his mouth and his hands were tugging at Zander's shirt. There was no mistaking who had initiated the contact.

Marshal popped the button on Zander's jeans, sliding the zipper low. His fingers played with the waistband of Zander's underwear, dipping below the band then pulling back quickly.

The kiss ended abruptly, but Marshal didn't move away. Their foreheads were touching and Marshal's hands were on his body. Zander hadn't touched Marshal yet, hadn't wanted to assume that he could, but the allure was too great and he had to feel the man's skin. At the first touch of his fingers, Marshal flinched and Zander pulled back.

"Don't pull away. I need..."

Zander waited for Marshal to finish the sentence and tell him what he needed, but no words came. "Tell me what you need."

Marshal slid his hands over Zander's hips and into his underwear, pulling the waistband out and pushing the material down his legs. Excitement bubbled through Zander, and he gulped in some air, trying to keep his head clear. Marshal placed his hands on Zander's naked hips, his fingers curling into the flesh.

"What do you need, Marsh?" The wait for Marshal to answer was excruciating. He wouldn’t act until Marshal either told or showed him what he wanted. If this went wrong, it would be bad for both of them.

Marshal breathed in quickly and Zander thought he was going to speak, but no words came out. Then he dropped his hold on Zander, turning away. The air slowly leaked out of Zander's lungs as rejection hit him hard. It was silly to think Marshal had wanted him. Leaving things where they were wasn't healthy for the team, and no matter how much it would hurt, he needed to resolve this issue.

Zander started pulling up his pants, tucking himself in. "Marshal, I was wrong. Please don't push me away. I'll never bring this up again."

"Don't you fucking get it?" Marshal turned around, his face was red and his fists balled. "I don't want you to drop it. I want to strip off your clothes and sink into you."

The words filtered through his brain, and he tried to reject what he'd heard, forcing his desires down, but Marshal gave him no time. He grabbed onto Zander's shirt and yanked him close. Marshal growled before ripping the hem up, tugging the shirt over Zander's head, exposing his chest. The touches from Marshal were angry and harsh, his fingers pinching and grabbing, digging into Zander's skin, and he took it, allowing Marshal to explore him the only way he knew how.

"Strip," Marshal spit out before his mouth descended on Zander's shoulder, his teeth sinking into Zander's flesh.

He shoved his pants down, holding onto Marshal as he pushed off his shoes and stumbled when he tried to kick the material free. Marshal spun him around, knocking him off balance. Then he was on the bed, Marshal grabbing his pants and ripping them over his ankles. The stiff material scratched but he didn't complain. It was rougher than he liked, but he had Marshal naked in bed, and not in a platonic way. This was hot and heavy, all testosterone and lust.

Marshal kissed him, punishing his mouth as he pressed against him. Zander's hands were caught by Marshal and raised over his head, held by one of Marshal's. Zander judged that he could have gotten away from Marshal if he wanted to, but nothing would drag him away from this. The slide of Marshal's other hand against his chest caused goose bumps to break out over his arms. Marshal's teeth nipped at his earlobe then his neck, biting and sucking were followed by licking and kissing.

Everything was so good, and Zander felt like he was in heaven until Marshal slid his hand lower and lower, grazing over his bellybutton and down his trail of hair that led to his dick. He gasped, opening his mouth to another harsh kiss as Marshal touched him. The contact of Marshal's hand on his cock took him to a place he'd only experienced once before. Sure, he'd had other guys, fucked some so silly they couldn’t walk, but this went beyond the physical of sex, into the soul deep connection that rarely ever happened.

Nothing mattered but Marshal and his touch. The room grew dim and all of his focus was on the feel and the excitement of Marshal touching him. He arched up, wanting more. Then Marshal was humping his leg. Sweat slicked their bodies, the heat ramping higher each second. He ground against Marshal's hand, pumping his hips as his toes curled. Muscles shook and his breath game in gasps. He clenched his ass and whimpered. Balls tight. Body overheated. Head spinning. He came as Marshal humped him, his lips plastered against Zander's.

The feel of hot come splashing against his leg made him shiver. Marshal broke the connection between their lips, breathing heavy as he buried his head against Zander's neck. The stillness was almost shocking. Marshal had come at him so rough that he hadn't expected the calm. Zander smiled to himself, loving how their legs were intertwined, and how Marshal's softening dick rested against his hip. He drew in a deep breath, marveling at the scent coming off Marshal. Zander closed his eyes and relished the moment, loving how easy it was for them to just be.

Marshal let go of his wrists and Zander thought for a moment they were going to snuggle close and talk, but Marshal rolled to sitting then hopped up without a pause and strode into the bathroom, shutting the door. He hadn't looked back even once.

Zander sat up and heard the lock click on the door. "Fuck," he whispered before climbing off the bed. He pulled on his pants and shirt, wondering if he should say something to Marshal.

He'd just let his best friend come on him. The one guy he could count on no matter what the situation, and now it was messed up. He didn't know if he should stay or go. Leaving things like this with Marshal wasn't cool. The few steps to the bathroom door were the hardest he'd ever had to take. Even difficult missions didn't cause him so much anxiety.

After sucking in a breath, he lifted his hand and tapped the door. Silence greeted him. He knocked again, praying they could salvage their friendship. The sound of shuffling could be heard through the wood. He waited patiently for Marshal to open the door. A full minute passed before the door was flung open, revealing Marshal. Zander gasped at the raw pain marring Marshal's visage.

"Marsh, I think we—"

"Get out." Marshal's eyes were flat, the brown of his irises murky instead of lit with fire.

"Don't push me away."

"I can't fucking do this."

Zander bit his lip and closed his eyes. He'd fucked up. Losing Marshal's friendship would kill him. "Please, talk to me."

"No, now leave."

Marshal wouldn’t meet his gaze. Before today, he'd thought nothing would ever have separated them. How naïve was he? Now he didn't think they'd ever be friends again. Marshal looked so angry and pain was etched all over his face. Zander slowly turned, and took a step before swinging back to Marshal, anger burning hot.

"You fucking bastard. I'm not leaving. You're going to tell me what the fuck is wrong. I didn't throw myself on that bed, you did that. If you didn't want this, you could have stopped at any time, but you didn't. You wanted this as much as I did."

Marshal's shoulders sagged and he covered his face with his hands. "I can't do this again."

"What?"
Again?
What the hell was Marshal talking about? As far as he knew Marshal hadn't really slept with any guys, and he sure as fuck didn't have sex with guys on the ranch.

The silence chilled Zander and he thought Marshal wasn't going to answer. Then Marshal sighed and began speaking. "I—oh God, this is difficult."