Colorado Connection (Colorado Heart Book 6) (4 page)

“Such a sweet ass,” Matthew whispered before brushing his lips gently over Jazz’s.

Jazz whimpered, and Matthew shifted closer, tilting Jazz’s head back as he licked at Jazz’s mouth. He opened and melted against Matthew, his hands twisting in Matthew’s shirt. Matthew’s tongue slid against his and he shivered again, holding Matthew even tighter. Matthew was moving against him, rocking his hips and he knew that although he would be sore in the morning, he would bend over again.

Matthew’s hands roamed over Jazz, touching here, brushing there, grazing over pleasure zones he hadn’t known he had. He thought the kiss was about to end when Matthew turned them, leaning his back against the wall and bending his knees, lowering his body, allowing Jazz to take over the kiss.

He’d never been kissed so completely or fucked so well as he had by Matthew, and he knew he couldn’t live up to the perfection that was Matthew Miller. Jazz ended the kiss, but Matthew didn’t let him move away. They were leaned up against the wall of the shed in the motor pool, the scent of cum and sex surrounding them, mixing with the smell of engine oil. His forehead was against Matthew’s, and he wanted to do something stupid like cry. The game had changed. Matthew had been too sweet. It wasn’t just fucking. Being together had felt real. That kiss, their only real kiss, had been more than he’d expected. He knew he couldn’t match Matthew, and he didn’t deserve the guy.

“Something wrong?” Matthew whispered as he cupped Jazz’s cheek, forcing their gazes to meet.

For a brief second, Jazz thought about giving a snarky answer, blowing off what they’d done as nothing special, but he couldn’t. Instead, he lifted one hand, touching Matthew’s face, trailing it down his neck to his chest.

“I didn’t expect it to be like this,” he said.

“Like what?”

“You’re too good for me. I feel… I just feel, and you did that. I can’t explain it, I can’t understand it, but you made me feel things I’ve never…” He trailed off, knowing he was making too much of what had happened. For Matthew, it probably meant nothing other than emptying his cum.

Matthew narrowed his eyes before pulling Jazz close again. His lips found Jazz’s, his tongue delving in, making Jazz believe it was more than a one-time fuck. Something more, something he could hold onto in this crazy country where his life could end in the morning. At least someone would have cared for him, if Matthew really did care, and from the way Matthew was holding him, it felt like he did. Matthew turned them again, ended the kiss, and pressed Jazz against the wall, holding him still.

“No games when we’re like this. You want more, you tell me straight up,” Matthew said.

Jazz nodded and placed his hands on Matthew’s hips, drawing him close. “I’ve never felt that…” He didn’t know the right word to say and he sure as hell didn’t want to say loved, but that was the only word which came to mind.

“Tell me, Jazz,” Matthew whispered as he ran his nose over Jazz’s cheek.

“You’re so much more than I ever thought you would be. You’re strong, and sweet, and so fucking sexy. If it was just sex, I could walk away, but Matthew, you’re different, special. I don’t want to lose you. I thought I could kiss you once and I’d be okay with that, but I can’t let you go.” Jazz stared into Matthew’s eyes, hoping he hadn’t made a mistake by telling Matthew what he really wanted.

“How many condoms do you have left?”

Jazz jerked back and narrowed his eyes. He’d just exposed his soul, and Matthew was talking only about the sex. “What?”

“How many condoms? There is no way I’m going to be able to keep my hands off you. I need to know if my brother should send some.” Matthew softened his words with a sweet brush of lips as he wrapped Jazz in his arms. Kisses were trailed over Jazz’s jaw to his ear. Matthew tugged on the fleshy nub, sending shivers through Jazz. “You’re not what I thought you’d be. You’re special, and yeah, I want you, too.”

Jazz closed his eyes and leaned his head on Matthew’s shoulder, breathing in the sweet scent of his man. The world may have been spinning at the same speed outside, but here, in Matthew’s arms, it was like everything had stopped. If only they were home and not fighting this crazy war for people who didn’t give two shits about them, then maybe they could spend more time together. Had they been state side, he never would have had the guts to approach someone like Matthew, though.

“Hey, they’re going to start looking for us soon. You head out first, then I’ll circle around the other way.” Matthew kissed his cheek then his nose and finally brushed another kiss on Jazz’s mouth.

“I wish…” Jazz whispered.

“Yeah, me too. Now go on. We’ll get together somewhere soon.”

Jazz turned to leave then spun back around, planting his lips on Matthew’s, kissing him like he expected to never see him again. “Three, I have seven condoms.” Jazz raced off and went straight to his tent to grab his shower stuff. When he was almost finished washing, he saw Matthew standing by his container, holding his shower supplies while he chatted with Bounder and Slider. He wanted to be the one Matthew was talking to. Jealousy slid through him, then he realized he could go talk to Matthew because no one in their unit would see anything wrong with them hanging out together.

With his towel wrapped around his waist, he headed over to the guys, keeping his gaze off Matthew so he didn’t pop wood.

“Jazz, you coming to movie night tonight?” Slider asked.

“Maybe. I don’t know. What’s showing?” he asked.

“Some flick that promises to show naked women. You know you want to see the naked girls.” Bounder punched him on the arm.

“Maybe I’ll pass,” Jazz said.

“Come on, we’re all going. You can throw popcorn at Tex because we know you really want to.”

Jazz’s gaze swung to Matthew, wondering if he’d said anything to these guys about what they’d done.

Matthew chuckled “Give him a break. He can’t stand me. If he doesn’t want to go, he shouldn’t go.”

For a second, Jazz almost countered what Matthew was saying then he snorted and shook his head. “I’ll be there, if only just to annoy Tex.”

The guys laughed, and he stepped around them, heading to his tent. He would be spending the evening in the same room as Matthew and the thought excited him. After closely inspecting his shirts, he realized he was screwed. His clothes were worn out, old as hell, and there wasn’t anything nice. Hell, this wasn’t a date. Jazz tugged on the best T-shirt and cargo pants he could find, slipping his feet into his socks before sliding them into his boots. He didn’t look hot but he had to deal with the clothes he had available, which wasn’t much.

He grabbed some food at the mess hall before heading over to watch the movie. It was already rolling by the time he arrived, and he was forced to sit on the other side of the room from Matthew. The flick was good, action and some romance that made him wish he was next to Matthew, holding his hand. He glanced over and caught Matthew staring, his eyes narrowed, a serious look on his face. Heat rolled through Jazz and he shivered.

Matthew lifted his brows and licked his lips. Jazz’s dick began to fill out and he shifted, hoping it didn’t show. The room was dark but not too dark, and he was sitting in the back row of seats, but still, the guys weren’t planted in their chairs. After another ten minutes, someone walked out. Jazz got up and left, too. He was gambling on Matthew following him out.

Jazz waited outside the building, half-afraid Matthew wouldn’t leave the movie and half-afraid he would. The door opened and Matthew stepped outside, pausing and glancing Jazz’s way before walking past, trailing his hands over the front of Jazz’s body.

“Follow me,” Matthew whispered.

They headed to Matthew’s quarters and stepped inside. He waited for the lights to turn on, instead Matthew pressed him up against the wall, holding him in place.

“You look good, and God, you smell good, too. Tell me, Jazz, did you dress nice just for me?”

“I tried, but I don’t have much to wear.” He shivered as Matthew tugged at the buttons on his pants. The soreness in his ass hadn’t dissipated enough to have sex, but he didn’t want to turn Matthew down. Matthew reached around and grazed a finger over Jazz’s crack. He stiffened, clenching his butt cheeks.

Matthew chuckled and ran his nose up Jazz’s neck. “Don’t worry, we won’t do anal. I just want to feel your cock in my hand and against my body. Would you like that?”

“Please.” Jazz allowed Matthew to touch him and hold him, to kiss his neck, and when Matthew slid his tongue over Jazz’s lips, he opened his mouth and slowly sucked on Matthew’s tongue, letting Matthew fuck his mouth.

Matthew opened Jazz’s pants and pulled out his cock, caressing him with sure, long strokes. Jazz started pumping his hips, fucking himself in Matthew’s hand. He moaned, and Matthew stopped touching him. Jazz realized Matthew was undoing his pants, pulling out his own cock. Matthew lined them up in his hand, stroking both of them. If he'd thought Matthew jacking his cock felt good, then Matthew rubbing their dicks together was amazing.

He opened his mouth and threw back his head, panting as Matthew continued to play with him. Slick pre-cum from both dicks spread down their cocks, smoothing out Matthew’s motions.

“So good,” Jazz groaned.

“You like?”

“Yes. How do you keep doing this to me?”

“What?” Matthew asked.

“God, you know exactly how to touch me, how to hold me.” Jazz clutched Matthew’s shirt, keeping him close. “I’m gonna… oh fuck, Matthew.”

Hot cum spurted out of his dick. He clung to Matthew, trying not to fall down. Matthew came too, his body leaning hard against Jazz’s. Their lips brushed against each other’s in a lazy way that made him melt even more.

Matthew wiped his hand on something. He tucked away Jazz’s dick then his own before flipping on the light. Jazz blinked at blinding brightness, wondering if Matthew was going to ask him to leave now. He half-expected Matthew to tell him to go away. Maybe it was the fact everyone he’d ever been involved with had dumped him.

“Come and sit with me.” Matthew took Jazz’s hand and led him to one of the cots, kicking off his boots before settling with his back against the wall. “Sit between my legs.”

Jazz removed his boots too and leaned back against Matthew’s chest, loving how Matthew held him close. He ran one finger over Matthew’s forearm to his hand, twining their fingers together.

“Holding you feels nice,” Matthew said.

“I like this.”

“Tell me, Jazz, did your girlfriend really break up with you?”

“Yeah, we weren’t that close. I didn’t really love her. It just… it hurt.”

Matthew squeezed him tighter and kissed the top of his head. “I was surprised when you came to me the other day.”

Jazz picked at the material of his pants, not sure what to say. They were snuggled in Matthew’s bed, holding each other after another amazing round of sex. He’d never imagined Matthew to be the type of guy to cuddle, or to be as sweet as he was being.

He hadn’t put his shirt on, and Matthew feathered his hands over Jazz’s skin, his touch gentle. There was no doubt in his mind he was going to get hard again if they stayed like this, but maybe that’s what Matthew intended to happen. The movie would be over in about an hour. Perhaps they’d have time for something more.

Lifting a little, he twisted in Matthew’s arms and went up on his hands and knees. Matthew cupped the back of his head and drew him in for a kiss that ended way to quickly.

“Tell me what you want from this?” Matthew asked.

Words failed him, and he leaned back on his heels, unsure of what to say. What did he want? He hated being hurt and maybe he wasn’t ready to voice what he really wanted. “I-I can’t. I don’t… You’re too good looking not to touch and taste. Maybe I’m just here for the sex. I don’t know. I wasn’t prepared for you to be like this.”

“How’s that?” Matthew ran his fingers over Jazz’s shoulders and down his arms, grazing his skin, leaving him trembling.

“Like that. You’re too sweet to me, and dammit, I just want to be with you because of it.”

“Sit down and let me hold you,” Matthew said.

Before he moved, he stared into Matthew’s eyes, seeing a kindness and honesty that moved his soul. Maybe he would fuck this up too, but he hoped he could spend more time with Matthew before he ruined everything.

Chapter Five

Once Jazz settled, Matthew relaxed again and just held him. Maybe back home, he wouldn’t have this crushing need to be close to someone. Having Jazz in his arms made his heart expand and his mind fuzz. Then there was the peace he felt while holding this man. Maybe any man would do, but he didn’t think that was the case.

The movie would be over soon. They’d spent the last twenty minutes gently caressing each other, him doing most of the touching because of how they were sitting. Looking down Jazz’s body, he noticed the growing bulge. After making a long and lazy path over Jazz’s chest to his abs, he slid his hand under the waistband of Jazz’s pants and wrapped his fingers around Jazz’s cock, loving the way Jazz arched up and pumped into his hand.

This thing between he and Jazz was more complicated and deeper than either of them had believed in the beginning. Maybe he was being delusional and reading too much into the way Jazz looked at him, but he didn’t think so.

Watching Jazz respond to him was the sweetest thing in the world. Once he came again, Jazz appeared done for the night. Matthew found Jazz’s shirt and helped him into it. He guided Jazz out of his quarters and over to the tent he shared with Slider and Jimmy. They ducked inside, and he was glad the place was empty.

“Don’t go.” Jazz clung to him as he trailed his lips over Matthew’s neck.

“The movie’s almost over. Go to sleep, and I’ll see you in the morning.” He slid his lips over Jazz’s one last time before stepping out of the tent. The night had turned cold, and he shivered without Jazz in his arms. He could hear the guys starting to leave the movie and quickened his pace. Once in his container, he made fast work of brushing his teeth and stripping out of his clothes. He dropped onto his cot and pulled the covers up just before he heard the door open. He didn’t want questions from Bounder. Surely, his absence from the film hadn’t gone unnoticed. He just hoped his roommate figured he was asleep. There was a level of acceptance in the military for gays, but dating someone you worked closely with was still frowned upon.

*~*~*

Somehow, he and Jazz were able to keep their personal lives separate from work. One day bled into another, filled with long days spent in the streets, searching for hidden dangers. Exhaustion struck hard, but having Jazz around helped. They found moments here and there to cuddle or kiss, and every once in a while they were able to come together as lovers. In the beginning, it had just been fucking. Jazz hadn’t really meant anything to him. Then, as the days went past, he and Jazz became friends. When he called his brother, Lafferty, he was already half in love with Jazz, wishing their lives were different.

“Hey, bro, how’s it going?” Lafferty asked.

“Good. Tough. A little scary. I need condoms.”

“Whoa, why do you need condoms?” Lafferty snickered on the other end of the phone. “Thought you said you weren’t going to go fucking around with those guys.”

“Just send me a few boxes.” He could have picked up some, but he hated that people would find out he had a lover.

Lafferty giggled and snorted. “Tell me about it. How many guys you banging?’’

“It’s not like that.” Matthew was getting annoyed. His brother was great, but he wasn’t ready to explain everything.

“You know, I’d be in the middle of them, begging for cock. I do love a good suck and poke.”

Matthew sighed, hoping to shut off Lafferty’s jokes because for some reason he didn’t want to joke about Jazz. “It’s just one guy.” Silence filled the line and he wondered if he’d lost the connection. “Lafferty, you there?”

“One, as in relationship material, one?” Lafferty asked.

He blew out a breath and smiled to himself. “I don’t know. I really like him.”

“Oh my God, Matthew has a boyfriend,” Lafferty sung over the phone. “Tell me, is he a good kisser?”

He laughed and smiled to himself, pushing at his cock as it started to fill out just from thinking about Jazz’s kisses. “He’s the best.”

His brother moaned over the line. “Then tell me about him. I want to hear everything.”

Matthew chuckled and settled in the chair, pulling one knee up and hugging it. “When I first met him, he was an asshole to me. Total jerk with a big mouth. I avoided him as much as I could, but we work together and he’s in my unit so it’s kind of hard to get away from him.”

“So you like a jerk?” Lafferty sounded doubtful.

“Yeah, I do. But when we’re alone, he’s so fucking sweet. I mean the first time he came to me and asked for a kiss—”

“Wait, he asked you for a kiss?” Lafferty interrupted, his voice going up in pitch.

“He did. His girlfriend had just broken up with him—”

“Girlfriend? Matthew, this guy is going to break your heart.”

“No, I’m not explaining it properly. He’s really sweet. Told me he was a smartass to me in the beginning because he’d been attracted to me this whole time.”

Lafferty was silent for a bit. “I don’t know. It sounds off.”

“Trust me, I’m not losing my heart or my head. We’re fucking.” But he wasn’t just fucking Jazz. There were feelings he didn’t want to delved too deeply into. If all they had was fucking right now, that’s what he would take. But he knew he and Jazz had more, and when they headed home, maybe it would stick.

“Okay, I’ll send you a couple of boxes, but you have to tell me how it’s going. And don’t let him break you.”

“I’ll be fine. So tell me, how are Lane and Gresh?” He could almost hear Lafferty’s eye roll.

“Both are good. Lane worries too much about Gresh. But shit, I walked in on them in the hot tub. I thought they were gone and they thought everyone else was gone. Good lord, Matthew, Lane is one limber dude.”

“Oh my God, you walked in on dads doing it? Shit, I bet that was awkward.”

“Only for me. They didn’t know I was there. Both of them were grunting and moaning so loudly they didn’t hear anything.”

Matthew laughed so hard he couldn’t hear what Lafferty said next. He forced himself to calm and cleared his throat, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“What was that?” Matthew asked.

“I said I ended up getting in my car and driving into Houston. They’ve opened a bathhouse north of the beltway—well, it’s kind of a bathhouse. The Baptists haven’t figured out what it is. Anyway, I went there and had a good time.”

“Lafferty, you need to be careful.”

“I am. I always play safe and—”

“No, not like that. You could be forced. Be careful. I’d hate to have to beat someone’s ass.”

“Dramatic much? I’m good. I can take care of myself. And I don’t put myself in situations where one of those big burly men can manhandle me, not that I’d complain.”

Matthew cleared his throat, wishing his brother wouldn’t take chances. “I’m going to be forced to kick someone’s ass, aren’t I.”

“Calm down, I’ll be fine. I’m headed to Italy soon.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, looking for an Italian Stallion,” Lafferty quipped.

“Lord help us all. Those guys will beat you if you insult them.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”

Back when he and Lafferty had been on the streets, he’d been forced to take care of the guy when he’d been hurt. Now, they were equals, but he still was concerned about his brother’s wellbeing.

“I’ll always worry about you,” Matthew said.

“I know, and I love you for it.”

“Have a good time in Italy and be safe.”

“You too, bro. Don’t let this guy hurt you.”

Matthew paused and toyed with a crease in his pants leg. “He won’t. He’s good. How is Daniel?”

“God, he’s a pill. Good as any little kid could be, but he’s going to be a lady killer when he gets older.”

Matthew heard the mirth in Lafferty’s voice. They both loved their little brother, but he was good a getting people to do what he wanted, especially women. “You think he’ll end up being straight?”

“Yeah, no doubt about it,” Lafferty mumbled.

“I got to go. I’ll talk with you later.” He missed his family and his brothers, but there wasn’t any way he could stay in Texas and stay sane. He wasn’t meant to be a rancher and he loved adventure too much to stay put in one place.

“Love you,” Lafferty said, wistfulness filling his voice.

“I love you, too.” Matthew hung up the phone, wishing he could be there to protect Lafferty, but his place was here in the middle of the desert, keeping peace and destroying terror.

The thing with Jazz was getting more complicated than he’d thought it would ever be. He headed to the mess hall after finishing his conversation with Lafferty, his mind rolling over how to handle Jazz. Maybe he was in too deep, or maybe not deep enough.

His unit was seated near the back of the room, and he pulled up a chair, sitting across from Jazz. The quick eye contact from his lover told him all he needed to know. Jazz was horny and wanted him. There were other gay guys here, but he’d not wanted to get into anything with anyone in their unit. He knew fucking someone he worked with would be messy, but with Jazz, it wasn’t.

“Hey, Tex, where have you been?” Slider asked.

“Probably jacking off,” Jimmy barked out as he snorted.

A couple of guys laughed and one dude he knew wasn’t from their unit mouthed off. “If he could even find his dick.”

More of them laughed, and Matthew rolled his eyes, shaking his head. He was secure enough with his penis size to not care what the guy said.

Bounder stood and grabbed his crotch. “Damage, you’ve probably never seen an actual cock since yours is missing. Maybe you’ll get lucky and Tex will show you his.” Bounder left the group and headed over to the drink station.

“I know what a cock is. Trust me, mine is huge. That’s why they call me Damage.”

“I thought they called you Damage because you break everything,” Slider said.

Damage laughed. “I only break hot pussy.”

Bounder ambled over and tapped the table with two fingers. “We’re headed out in the morning to do patrols, so we need to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, Tex needs his sleep so he can see. Lord knows we don’t want to go out with him being tired,” Jazz said.

Damage snorted. “I heard your sharpshooter was worthless. A real jerk.”

“Watch it,” Jimmy said.

Damage sneered and continued talking. “Heard he killed a kid because that’s all he can do. Can’t kill real men.”

Jazz jumped up, his fists balled. Matthew saw the anger flash over Jazz’s face and stood, too, but he was on the wrong side of the table to grab him. The rest of the guys in his unit came to their feet when Damage jumped up to face off with Jazz.

“Shut your mouth,” Jazz spit out. “You don’t say anything about Tex. You’re nothing but a fucking—”

Slider grabbed Jazz around the waist, cutting him off. Doc helped Slider drag Jazz away from the table. Bounder stepped up to Damage, his shoulders squared.

“It would be best if you took yourself back to your guys and left ours alone.”

For a brief moment, Matthew thought Damage was going to say something, but he shut his mouth and stalked away. Tensions were high, and Matthew looked around, noticing they’d drawn attention from other guys in the mess hall. He blew out a breath and searched for Jazz but didn’t see him. Following the guys out of the mess hall, he spied Jazz still ranting to Slider. He walked over and grabbed Jazz, tugging him behind a building. He heard Jimmy say something about following but Bounder told them to stay away.

“What was that?” Matthew asked when they were far enough away to not be heard.

Jazz’s fists were balled, his eyes narrowed, and it looked like he was about ready to spit nails. “He was talking crap about you.”

“Jazz, it’s just talk.”

“But he was—”

Matthew dove in for a kiss, twining their tongues together as he rocked his hips against Jazz’s body. At first Jazz fought him, struggling to get free, but Matthew held him tight. Then Jazz moaned and melted against him, plastering his hands on Matthew’s back, drawing him close. They were getting hot and heavy, and he needed to put a stop to it before Jazz and he went too far here in this nearly public place. He pulled out of the kiss and smiled at Jazz’s complaints.

“More, I need more.” Jazz whined.

“Baby, not here.” Matthew took Jazz’s hand and led him through a maze of buildings and tents, ending up in a secluded spot where they melted together again. Their kiss was sweet and gentle until Jazz grabbed Matthew’s ass and tugged him close, grinding their cocks together. Matthew broke the kiss, moaning as he arched his back and pressed against Jazz.

“Matthew, fuck, you feel so good in my arms. I can’t get enough of you. Tell me you won’t be with another guy?”

Matthew kissed a path along Jazz’s hairline to his neck. “Only you,” Matthew whispered against the side of his head.

Jazz pushed away and found Matthew’s gaze. “Do you really mean it?”

“Yeah, babe, I mean it. It’s only you.”

“Fuck me here.” Jazz spun around and shoved his pants to the ground, offering up his ass.