Cole (The Leaves) (18 page)

Her quick question threw me but just for a moment. I didn’t answer at first. I turned to her and took one of her hands and squeezed. “Absolutely.” I grinned and we both laughed.

“What the hell are those?”

“What?” She was just so easy to fuck with.

“Those floating thingies?”

“Trish.” I looked at her again, face completely serious, and she nodded in understanding. “She bought the decorations. I wasn’t going to use them because they’re so…”

“Abominable?” she offered.

I started to laugh. I didn’t want to be too loud about it, on the off chance Trish came out the door, but Aimes was right. They were scary ugly.

“What are they exactly?”

“Well…” I started.

“They’re supposed to be snowmen.”

Trish Carlyle was apparently very sneaky. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you girls. Although, those things are going to give me nightmares. They were beautiful in the shop. They were lit up on the display table, but something about the way they bob around, the angle of the eyes… they look like white evil jack-o-lanterns.”

“Sorry, Trish, but you’re right.” I smiled apologetically.

“How are you, Aimes? How’s the little bundle of joy treating you?” Trish gave me a brief look but full of meaning as she rested her hand on Aimes’ growing belly.

“I actually feel fine, just tired. In fact, I could probably fall asleep standing here talking to you, so if I nod off just don’t let me fall in the pool. Those snowmen might eat me.”

Poor Aimes, she actually did look exhausted, but she still made me laugh.

“And Anika, how are you holding up?”

“Don’t worry about me, Trish. I’m doing just fine. This is… it’s wonderful.”

“Well, I’ll get everyone something to drink and get the appetizers moving.” Aimes turned and made her way to the door. I felt Trish’s hand pull my shoulder back lightly. “Hang on a minute… please.” I waited until the door closed behind Aimes and turned to see Trish face to face.

“Everything okay?” I asked.

“I just wanted to say thank you, Anika. I know this is your first Christmas with your family, but I feel as if it’s our first Christmas too, Richard, Cole, and me. I know that sounds strange, but you brought something back to us. You’re our gift, Anika. I just wanted you to know.” She went to hug me, but stopped herself. “We’d better get in there. Come on.”

Cole caught my eyes as I slid the door closed behind me. There was a buzz all around. Richard, Gus and John a.k.a. my dad, were discussing something or other. Trish, Aimes and Jeannie were making and serving drinks. Cole stood with the men, a drink in his hand, just looking intently at me. I watched the smile grow on him. But just as we communicated an understanding of happiness, he motioned toward the other side of the room. In the corner next to the decorated tree stood David. I glanced at Cole to let him know his message had been received and made my way to my new brother. He was looking at our painting, drinking what looked to be a soda, but looking years older than his nineteen. The glow of the fireplace and twinkling lights made his features more pronounced, but no less handsome.

“Do you like it?” I asked him about the painting.

“It’s depressing.” He stated. Then he looked again and took a small step back. “But then… it’s hopeful.”

“Yeah.”

“Redding. Is that you? Did you paint this?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re pretty good.”

“Thanks.”

“A friend of mine, Theo… he’s an artist. He wants to be an architect though. He said it’s just like this kind of art, but on a larger scale.”

“I never thought of architecture that way.”

“So, what’s the story here?”

“It’s Cole and me. This is our story.”

“Oh.” He took a sip of his drink, never looking at me.

“He’s different now.”

“Cole?”

He turned to look at me like I was an idiot. “Oh.” I said quietly. “I want you to know this is weird for me too, David.”

“He’s not different in a bad way.”

“Okay.” I just looked down at the fireplace. I was suddenly wrought with guilt. I had a few years on this guy, this kid. Well, not a kid, but still. It would be weird to suddenly find out your dad had a family before you. Or a kid, like Aimes did. Her dad got a girl pregnant in college, but she didn’t tell him until he was married to Aimes’ mom. Aimes found out when she was sixteen, but she handled it well. I didn’t know what else to say to this guy.

“What should I call you?” He asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, should I call you Inky or Anika? I’ve heard people call you both. And are you my stepsister or my half-sister?”

“Well, call me whatever feels right. I’ve been struggling with this too, though.”

“Yeah?” He said it offhandedly, but I thought it was his defense mechanism.

“Yeah.”

“Although, I want to just say ‘my brother, David’ if that’s alright with you. Unless you prefer Dave or something.”

“Nah, David. I’ve been thinking ‘my sister, Anika’. Apparently Dad didn’t want the risk of having a daughter. He was relieved I was a boy. That’s what my mom said. But she… we, didn’t know why until now.”

“He didn’t want to feel like he was replacing me.” I guessed.

“I guess, yeah…” I took that moment to try to fight the anger I was feeling toward my mother.

“I wish we’d met before. I could’ve used a brother.”

“I got you something.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Dad said you’re this shit-hot painter. So I asked my buddy what to get for a shit-hot painter. So, I got you what he suggested. Hope you like it.”

“I got you an I.O.U.”

“A what?”

“An I owe you. I didn’t know what to get. I wanted to get to know you better and get you something you want, not something ‘just because’. I hope that’s okay.”

“I think finally getting a sister, which I asked for every Christmas and birthday until I was ten, is a good present.”

“What happened when you were ten?” I was being totally nosey, but I couldn’t seem to help myself.

“Mom said it was too late to get a sister and not to mention it to Dad, so I never did again. Can you open your present now? I think it’ll help me relax.”

“Sure.” I watched him go straight to a silver box with a navy blue ribbon and a sort of sliver holly branch tied beneath it. “Here.”

He hoisted the box at me and stood perfectly still while I untied the ribbon and opened his gift. I knew he was nervous, I was too. I opened it to discover a tube of high quality, pure pigment cerulean oil paint. On the low end it was around sixty bucks, high end seventy-five, and as I moved the tissue I discovered he’d given me three tubes.

“Wow.” It was all I could manage.

“You like it? I mean, it’s good, right?” He smiled wide, a smile that was a clear indication we were related somehow… the same smile as our dad.

“You can tell your friend he gave you great advice. I love it.” I twisted the cap off, but before I broke the seal I said, “Come on. Follow me upstairs.” I took him to my little studio or the ‘love nest’ as Trish liked to call it.

I knew he was impressed when he said, “This place is the shit. Do you and Cole sleep here or in the bedroom downstairs?”

I looked at the neatly made bed and easel. Even though the room had sparse décor, it still looked more lived in than any other room in the house.

“This is totally different than the painting downstairs.” He observed.

“Rage. Well, Rage Against the Machine.”

“Huh?”

I explained. “When I have a memory or an anxiety attack, painting is kind of like my therapy… although I’m going to therapy now too. But music helps get me in the head space I need to reach that emotion. I hit repeat, blast the music and just paint. This is what came out of me.” Since the CD was still in the player, I cued it up and centered him in front of the painting. I hit play and told him, “Watch.”

I turned if off when the first song was finished.

“Evil Empire. Great album.”

“Yeah. It is.” I was having all sorts of conflicting emotions, and half expected him to acknowledge my process more. It had nothing to do with ego; I just wanted to have this magical connection with my long lost brother.

“I like your process. It’s cool.” Thank God.

“Thanks. Pick a song or an album that means something to you… I’ll use this paint and create something with it. It’ll be your Christmas present.”

“You’d do that?” He turned his head and shock was written all over his face. His eyes wide with disbelief.

“I have a brother.” I simply said. Hoping that would convey all that I meant it to.

“You don’t think of me as a half or a step?”

I shook my head no.

“So, you think we could hang out sometime?” He asked.

“I hope so. I mean, unless you need some time to get used to the idea.” I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice.

He smiled again, but this time it was a shit eating grin if I ever did see one. “I have years of being an annoying little brother to make up for.”

“You’re on.”

Cole

I watched Anika and her brother ease into their roles as brother and sister. Being an only child, I understood that want of having a sibling, and for both of them having that dream be realized was amazing to watch.

After a couple of hours of drinking and eating, we exchanged gifts. Aimes and Gus gave Anika and me the ugliest Christmas sweaters I’d ever seen. A his and hers, red and green with what Anika explained were googly eyes on the snowmen and candy cane buttons on the shoulders. They were hideous and we vowed to wear them every Christmas as long as we lived. My mom and dad basically said to tell them what we wanted. Anything at all, they would get it. I said we’d get back to them. John and his wife had recently been to Spain and brought us casked wine from vines they’d helped plant when they honeymooned there. It was a beautiful gift actually. David gave Anika paint, that was apparently very expensive. She also suspected he was battling his own demons. I told her she’d come into his life at just the right time then.

After dinner, drinks, dessert, and coffee were being displayed on the dining table. I decided to tell Anika for the millionth time that day that I loved her. Just as she set a chocolate cream pie down and sprinkled the top with shavings, I moved her hair to the side and brushed her neck with my lips. “Know what I’m thinking about?”`

“Does it have anything to do with you and me and ribbon and this table?” She snickered.

“How about when everyone leaves I take a little bit of each dessert and use you as a plate?” A plan began to form in my head. A delicious plan.

“Is it rude to ask people to leave before dessert?”

“We’ll give them twenty minutes… tops.” I promised. For a second, maybe two, it was as if we were the only people in the room.

It didn’t last long.

“Cole?” Interesting how my dad can make a question or request sound like a statement. Final. Direct. No argument to be made.

“Yes.” I said on a sigh.

“Would you and the other men like to join me outside? I brought Cubans.”

“Really?” Anika said. “Did they all drive their retro 1950’s cars?”

“That’s a joke, Anika?” My dad asked impassively. She grinned.

“I was gonna ask if Uncle Fidel was joining us. I should’ve gone with that one.”

“Next time.” He said with a tiny hint of amusement.

“Go on, baby,” she said with a wink only meant for me. “You boys go have your man meeting and smoke your fat stogies without inhaling… just like Clinton.”

That time my dad did chuckle. “
That
was amusing, Anika.”

“Thank you Richard.”

“And I believe there was a cigar connection in that joke, too. Clever girl. Gentlemen? Shall we?”

***

We convened outside, as far from the house as we could. I assumed this was so the cigar smoke wouldn’t bother the women. I was wrong. My mother appeared by my father’s side. “Will you gentlemen, excuse us? Richard and I need to discuss wedding things with Cole.”

I had a bad feeling about this.

“Let me light up these stogies, Patricia, and we’ll have a word.” My dad snipped, lit and handed cigars all around, the smell strong, but a scent I always associated with my very early childhood which made it comforting. It was a stark contrast to what I thought was looming.

As Dad sipped his scotch, I watched as John, Gus and even David looked around. I’d seen David sipping from a rocks glass and finally asked, “What are you drinking?”

“My parents let me drink on occasion, but I’ve never really been one of those party kids. I enjoy wine, but tonight I’m just drinking soda. I have rehearsals in the morning so I need to be on my game.”

“Rehearsals for what exactly?” I asked him, but he hesitated a moment before answering. “I play piano.” He said on a sigh.

This was Anika’s brother, half or not, I knew better than to push, so I changed the subject.

“Do you surf?” I asked.

“Do I look like I surf?” He retorted. I could not figure out if he was pissed at the world, feeling awkward about this new family dynamic we were all in, or if he was just a moody asshole.

The answer was no. He wore fitted black pants and black dress boots. A charcoal blazer and a fitted black tee. He had style, but exactly what that style was I couldn’t pin point.

“You have Anika’s fair skin. She isn’t a fan of the ocean. I can teach you. I’m pretty good.”

“I have no interest in becoming part of the food chain.” He stated evenly.

I threw my head back and laughed. “You aren’t going to believe this, but that is exactly what Anika said when I made the same offer to her.”

“Really? I didn’t mean to be rude or anything.”

“I know you didn’t. It’s strange, even though you and Anika didn’t grow up together, I can tell you’re related.”

“Cool.” He smiled at me which was a great thing to see. I decided his attitude was not personal. Anika was right, this guy had something else going on.

“Right.” My dad’s voice cut through all other conversation. “Patricia?”

I followed my parent’s having no idea what this was about. They hadn’t been acting strange or anything, no more than usual. So, when she began to explain, I thought they’d handled everything really well.